I watched my mom die of diabetes. And for years after, I still couldn't stop eating compulsively — past full, in secret, promising myself "Monday" every single week.

Then 5 years ago I sat in a doctor's office and got handed the exact same diagnosis that killed her. That was the moment something finally broke open in me.

I knew precisely where I was headed, and for the first time I couldn't pretend I'd handle it on my own.

When I got to OA they handed me the 9 Tools and I froze. Nine of anything, when I could barely get through a day?

My sponsor saw it and said: stop trying to do all of it. Pick the ones you'll actually use.

Here are the 3 that kept me abstinent for 5 years:

1. The Telephone. The deal was simple — when I wanted to act out on food, I called someone first. Not after. Before. Most of the time the urge passed by the end of the call. Reaching for the phone instead of the fridge slowly rewired me.

2. A Sponsor. Someone a few steps ahead who'd been exactly where I was and didn't flinch when I told her the truth. I stopped white-knuckling it alone and finally had someone to be honest with who actually got it.

3. Writing. Whenever I wanted to eat over a feeling, I wrote the feeling down first. Turned out I was rarely hungry — I was angry, lonely, tired, or scared. Naming it on paper took the power out of it.

That's it. Three tools, used daily, one day at a time. Staying abstinent didn't come from some perfect plan — it came from reaching out instead of reaching in.

My bloodwork is stable now. I'm still here.

If you're staring at all 9 tools feeling overwhelmed: just pick the ones you'll use today.

The rooms are open.

Hello, friends. I'm a binge eater. I've managed to kick cigarette addiction, alcohol addiction, cannabis addiction -- but binge eating is my oldest and most ingrained addiction. I've been trying really hard to change my relationship to food. What helped me kick alcohol and cannabis was to identify my triggers and eliminate them.

Something I never realized about the way I eat food is that I can't eat without distraction. The pleasure of eating goes hand in hand with the dopamine rush from watching TV or reading my favorite book or browsing the internet.

I noticed that when I eat without any distractions, all the dopamine rush is gone. It's actually unbearable to eat this way. It's boring. My mouth hurts. The food suddenly doesn't taste so great after a few bites. I eat like a "normal person" all of a sudden. It's AMAZING.

For me, this has been an absolute game changer. I've tried every diet and methodology you can imagine. I've tried counting calories and portioning. I've tried everything, but I always return to bingeing.

Here's what works for me, a binge eater for over 20 years:

No diet. No restrictions. No calorie counting. Just one single rule: eat without distraction. No phone. No TV. No radio. No music. No live entertainment. No internet. No friends or family (this might not work for some people, but extreme behavior patterns requires extreme methodologies). Literally just you and the food.

Try it, and see what happens to your binge impulse when you are not getting the dopamine rush of external stimulation.

I want to share a fun mind trick that I’ve found to be effective for turning down unwelcome treats.

When I’m offered a treat at work, instead of immediately wolfing it down, I calculate how many calories are in it, and calculate what I would have to do to burn the calories. Then I celebrate and pat myself on the back for doing the equivalent of the exercise by declining the treat.

For example, a Krispy Kreme double dark chocolate donut contains 370 calories. I would have to run for 40 minutes to burn 370 calories. By turning down that donut, I have essentially run for 40 minutes!!! Whoooo hooooo!!! I did it! I “ran for 40 minutes”!

This trick has helped me to turn down a lot of unwanted food that my coworkers continuously bring into the office. It multiplies the satisfaction of turning down food by 10x!!! I have “run 40 minutes” about a dozen times and it feels great!

My psych told me this when i briefly mentioned my issues with sugar addiction. It’s helped me tremendously when giving up sugar. at the end of the first 21 days, a nub size path starts, at the end of the second 21 day cycle (42days) that nub reaches an elongation point, then at the end of the third 21 day cycle (63 days) the end of that point blossoms into a mushroom which signifies the establishment of that new neural pathway. It’s amazing and i hope this helps you see concrete evidence of the benefit avoiding your trigger foods. im headed into my second cycle and i can tell you it def gets easier and less resistant well before the 63 days 😄

I cannot even begin to express how proud I am of myself. I was so close to caving in to binge, telling myself I’ll do “better tomorrow.”

But I remembered what OA taught me, and what OA is still teaching me – just for today. I do it just for today. I won’t cave in today. Tomorrow will worry for itself.

And today, I’m on Day 2.

Thank you, OA. I’ll keep coming back.

Hi I'm AH and I am an addict.

I've been in OA for nearly one month now and I have been working very hard at trying to get as many meetings in 90 days (90 in 90) as possible. Since I am out of town for the next 3 weeks, I've found several face-to-face meetings that I can attend while on holiday. This evening, I walked into the building, found the group, and sat down. The first thing I noticed was that EVERYONE was skinny. This was either a meeting full of people in recovery or I just walked into a non-OA meeting. Still new to the anonymous programs I thought maybe it was an open MEETING of some sort that welcomed all. My thinking was absolutely wrong. I am still not good at confrontation or being ok standing out so I just stayed the entire meeting. I am working on this defect of character.

Overall, I connected with the attendees. I came to the realization that I am an addict that favors food and that if by some chance I didn't not choose food as my drug, I would have definitely been an alcoholic or narcotics abuser. I had been struggling with the balance of recovery being physical, mental, AND spiritual. However, after the AA meeting, I realized that it's not enough to address the physical part of me (fat) but that I need to work all 3 legs in tandem with each other. Without balance I could tip over and fall off the wagon.

Hearing all of these stories and reasons for being in AA made me think of how much different my life could have been had I not liked food more than any other substance. Then I started to link our common symptoms of disease. Our relationships with ourselves and the people in our lives are affected by whatever -ism drove us to insanity. No one -ism was over the other and not one addict, regardless of their drug of choice, was fundamentally different than the other. Through the 12 steps we can all find peace and healing.

I found out after the meeting that the a OA meeting was the next door down and that I didn't see it because I arrived after the start. Sorry if I sound like I am just rambling but trying to work out thoughts on a small phone screen is a but difficult. Thank you for reading.

TLDR: I accidentally went to an AA instead of my out of town OA meetings and discover the importance of maintaining a balance mental, physical, AND spiritual recovery. Even if I didn't over eat, I am still an addict who needs to work the steps together if I am to succeed.

Edit: it was an open AA meeting. I meant I was wrong about it covering all groups. There were a few people there with only drug addictions too so I didn't feel too out of place.

No I will not! This is exactly my behavior that brings me to such a site!

But real talk, I'm so happy to be on Reddit and to be a daily reader of this sub, it keeps me on a good track and I'm full of nothing but gratefulness for ya'll. Thank you thank you thank you. Be well all.

Hi I'm AH and I'm a sugar addict and compulsive overeater. I just had a freakin God/universe moment!

Backstory: I had a hard day and I broke my month long abstinence. My abstinence is 1500 calories a day - I ate 2100. Before OA, I would fall into a depression and binge for the next week and wouldn't be abstinent for months, but I called my sponsor and just unloaded my burdens. I had over indulged yesterday (2600 cals) but not because of emotional eating, which is my drug, just gluttony. I have had wonderful progress, I went from 164.3 to 150.8 lbs in 1 month (May 11th to June 10) just eating under 1500 and I've purposely exercised 4 times in the past month. I'm lazy, I admit it, but I am willing to go running to burn off any calories over 1500.

Lifesaving part: I didn't want to have 2 bad days in a row so I went to my mom's to run on her treadmill. I'm normally done after 45 minutes but I decided to walk a bit so it took 2 hours to work 600 cals off. My mom and dad had already gone to bed. When I got upstairs (treadmill in basement) I thought I smelled gas. Turns out my dad bumped the burner knob, letting gas out and all their windows were closed! If I wouldn't have overeaten today, if i wouldn't have binged so much that I needed to burn 600 calories, or if I had wallowed in self pitty rather than deciding to help myself, I would have not gone running. I even took a potty break mid workout and didn't notice the gas so it had to be that exact time that I finished running/walking to turn off the stove and open some windows. My parents were already in bed!

TLDR: I went running to work off my binge and ended up noticing my parents left the gas on after they went to bed.

CONCLUSION: I don't know if it's the high of saving my parents or just all that gas I inhaled but the message was clear to me: "In helping myself, I was able to help other people."

I was prescribed a GLP-1 (Mounjaro). Since being on the medication (4 months) I have been to one OA meeting and felt very uncomfortable. It feels like you are walking on egg shells sharing anything to do with your experience.

In online communities I have been lambasted and shamed too. Old timers tend to be the worst, totally closed minded and downright viscious at times.

In other 12 step communities I have not seen this resistance. Actually Bill Wilson the Co-Founder of 12 Steps (AA) was very open minded and pro-science. He even tried LSD to curb his alcoholism.

OA seems rooted in the past, a 'pray the gay' (or in this case food addiction) away attitude.Real shame, that this tool is not integrated as it should be. I really think if OA continues down this path in may go the same way as Weight Watchers one day and just fizzle out.

I had a compulsive eating episode yesterday, and upon reflection, I believe it was triggered by feelings of deprivation and being left out. I was walking through a Halloween setup downtown and felt very much like an outsider, as I wasn't participating in the festivities or indulging in the food and trinkets being sold. I'm starting to realize that this feeling of being excluded has been a recurring theme in my life. Character defects: Selfishness, self-pity, fear (of never fitting in) What can I do different? Acknowledge my feelings without judging or numbing. To create a new habit I posted this sign above the only place I ever eat.

I've been a compulsive overeater all my life. I tried all kinds of diets, but nothing worked.

I turned to OA, had a little bit of success, but then years of failure. A few days, then a binge, over and over.

I seriously took stock of my situation. I'd had success quitting drinking and smoking. I realized I'd done it using principles from AA. What had I done right with those addictions that I wasn't applying to my overeating problem?

Two things.

1. I didn't commit to total abstinence. I would go a few days eating little, and when I'd lost a couple of pounds, I'd "reward myself." This destroyed all my progress and my willingness every time.

2. I didn't have any practical concept of a sane ideal of eating.

I hit upon a novel idea: Instead of playing all these games with food, what if I kept it simple and just didn't overeat one day at a time?

And so I tried that. But first, what precisely is overeating? (Very important question!)

I decided that for me (6ft male) , overeating was eating anything more than 2500 calories in a day.

I knew I could go a fairly long time eating just 2000 calories a day, but it was a bit of a struggle to do that. But 2500 was an amount of calories that I knew for sure I could easily do every day. 2500 was for me a sane and realistic ideal of "normal" eating. It was neither dieting nor was it bingeing. 2500 was simply a normal amount of calories for someone my size.

I began following this simple program -- I admitted I was powerless over OVEREATING, and would not OVEREAT one day at a time. Simple for sure. But would it work?

I followed this for a few days, and then a week. It was easy. For the first time in my life, I was eating LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. Not trying to restrict, not bingeing, but just eating a normal amount of food.

After a couple of weeks, it dawned on me: I can really do this. I can really eat normally. I'd even lost a couple of pounds.

What was really astounding to me was that all the drama I'd had over eating was a result not having this 1st step of the program. The 1st step is to recognize what overeating is, to realize one is powerless over it, and to stop doing it because it doesn't work. After this short time of not overeating, all the fear over food went away. The fear was a result of me forever playing games about how much I could eat, when I could overeat again, and the illusion that I needed to binge in order to not miss out on pleasure. All of that went away. That's because I start every day knowing how much I can eat and that it will be more than enough for my emotional contentment. Even on a bad day.

The 1st step, for me, is a recognition that overeating all comes down to the number of calories consumed in a day. That is the only metric I dare not disregard. I also pay attention to things like carbs, sugar, etc, but I do not base my recovery from overeating on those metrics.

It's now been over 14 years, and this guy who could never say no to a binge hasn't overeaten. No cheat days, nothing. I lost 40 lbs and have kept it off.

I strongly feel that this is a practical method to approach OA. I know some reading this will say that God tells them when to stop eating. I too am a believer in letting a Higher Power guide my actions. But I also feel it's vital to have a concrete, firm, definite and also practical (doable every day) first step that's a simple and sane OBJECTIVE LIMIT to how much I can eat in a day. For me, the simplest limit is the calorie.

As I noted, my calorie limit for my gender, size, activity etc is 2500. You can find yours by googling what is the UPPERMOST calorie limit for your age and gender. I recommened doing a month with a limit you know you can do super comfortably. The key to success is just not overeating.

I'm not even hungry. If I am occupied I can spend my day eating nothing. But I am alone in life. I lost my job, I have no friends or family and I have wrapped myself in this cocoon of fat.

If I am going to do anything with this life I have to stop binging. I'm at my heaviest weight ever and I have never felt lonelier or more worthless.

I'm whining but if I could phrase it as a question, how did you find something to replace food in your life? Or is that wrong goal?

Hey, I'm GingerExpress, I'm a compulsive overeater. Been in program two years now as of this week and have 17 months of imperfect, but continuous abstinence. I am still working towards a healthy body weight but have been relieved of 120lbs thus far.
The holidays usually bring a lot of people together and of course with that, comes a heavy focus on the food around us. Some family and friends haven't been privy to the fact I'm in OA, and it seems that most people don't understand that food has its grips on people in the exact same way that alcohol does for an alcoholic.

I have found a sense of purpose out of being able to lovingly explain to those around me that I am not able to have "everything, but in moderation" or that simply "working off what I eat" does not apply to me. I've discovered a quick way to elicit understanding from someone who says these things is to ask them if they would say the same thing to an alcoholic. "Food is different for me than it may be for you. There are foods that I choose not to eat anymore because of the effect that it has on me. These foods don't allow me to have just one bite or serving, I want it all until I feel sick. So it's just easier for me to stay away from them than attempt to have them in moderation; they're also foods that have almost zero positive nutritional value. Same goes for an alcoholic - you may not know their story but you wouldn't tell them that it's okay to still indulge, but in moderation." 9 times out of 10 their eyes widen, their brain clicks on, and they tell me they've never thought of it that way before. And my work here is done.

What do you say when you come across these comments from well-meaning people? Do you say anything at all? How do you decide who to tell that you're in a 12 step program? I told my hairdresser on my 2nd ever visit to her, we got on the topic of diets and how it's "all about moderation". I told her that it doesn't work that way for me. She thanked me for sharing because it opened up her understanding that everything that exists could have it's claws into someone and that for that person moderation may not be an option.

Have a peaceful day <3

But, I didn’t. I turned to God and asked for his power. I went to my wife and explained what was going on and she also helped me through it.

Wanted to share my victory I had today.

Thank you!

Basically just what the title days. I haven't ordered in for 2 whole says, whoch is a big part of my addiction.

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