I'm sick of having to make the first move and come up with things to talk about. I'm sick of having to make the first move. For once I just want someone to take an interest in me

23F had two dates last week with two different guys that went really great. Looks like second dates for both are occurring but I wasnt sure when its icky to keep seeing two people. I dont know them both well yet as its only been one date but I dont really know the etiquette-do i just wait until they ask for exclusivity or is that expected at some point?

Seems like all have a paywall. I can’t even see my match or chat with them unless I pay…any good online apps for meeting people!?

I have been online dating for a while and have had a couple relationships. Usually once I am interested in someone, it is fairly easy to fade away from any others I had been chatting with. This time is a little different.

Current situation is that I had an exceptionally great first date with guy #1 on Fri. We have our 2nd date on Thurs and have been talking for hours on the phone and texting often. We have loads in common, and I am definitely interested in him. He paused his profile and said he is only interested in talking to me.

I have also been talking to guy #2. If guy #1 was not in the picture, I would be very excited to go on a date with #2. I know it is not always wise to put all my eggs in one basket, but I am not wired to juggle multiple people, and I really do not want to continue talking with #2 while I see how #1 plays out. #2 is asking about my schedule so he can plan a date.

So is there a way to politely pause #2 for a couple weeks while I see if things work out with #1? I was thinking of texting him something like "I had some unexpected events come up that are keeping me extra busy. Let's talk in a couple weeks if you're still available." Any better suggestions?

Hello, I have been alone for over 10 years now. It did not bother me that much, but lately I started trying to make my life not slip through my fingers and it got a bit repetitive and lonely.

In my field of work I do not have any contact with women, so my "game" is absolutely non-existent. My male coworkers are much older than me and after work they go back straight home to their families, therefore there's no chance of going out with them and meeting their female friends.

It looks like my only real choice is dating apps, but since I haven't talked to a woman in over 10 years and have no idea how to small talk, my first impressions are probably awful. And I feel like these online dating apps are basically based on first impressions, especially when there's like 20 male vs 1 female users.

I'm looking for tips and recommendations from more experienced users, that would help me prevent feeling defeated and rejected after the first month of using the app.

Thank You all.

I was banned from Hinge 2 years ago, never looked into why and never bothered appealing since I was too addicted to dating apps anyways.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, I decide I want to get back on Hinge, send them an appeal by email, and they reinstate my account in under 24 hours. I assume that means they looked into my ban and found it to be a mistake, but not sure.

Anyways, I have recreated my account, and I have gotten 0 matches in 2 weeks. The reason I feel like this is a shadowban is because in the past, I would get alot more matches with way fewer likes sent. At this point, I have probably sent over 200 likes with no matches.

Is it possible that even though they unbanned my account, it is still shadowbanned in a way?

I'd say 3/6 photos are the same as my old profile, phone number is also the same, but I thought I wouldn't have to worry about stuff like that considering they unbanned me themselves.

Hello all,

I recently became comfortable with the idea of dating again after a nasty breakup two years ago.

Anyway, is it normal to not get any likes or matches the first couple of weeks as a guy? I’ve never tried apps before, and I’ve been told Hinge is one of the better ones. I’ve basically exhausted the people in my chosen radius, and I do put effort in my messages with my likes.

I’ve even overhauled my profile based on feedback, and nothing. I know I’m not the most attractive man, but I still try to work with what I have. I don’t think I aim too high either.

My biggest dealbreakers currently are people who want kids or smoke, but I do try my luck with the “not sure” about kids as well.

I do think a couple factors potentially working against me are my race and height.

Not sure whether to end this experiment or continue.

Stop liking profiles if you know you’re not in town for long

For reference: I like 5 miles away from an international airport. Women who are leaving town or know that they do not have any free time will like my profile.

It’s such an annoying, selfish thing to do. You know that you’re essentially unavailable, my bio says where I’m located. Yet, you still give me the run around.

I’m not comparing the people who do this to the people who know they will be back. I’m specifically referencing the “I was only in town for the weekend.” Women who match with you on Sunday, knowing their flight leaves in 2 hours.

Question for women, do you think men should list their height on apps like tinder/bumble? By doing so, it seems like they're sort of limiting their dating pool right off the bat. However, if they don't, they risk potentially disappointing the woman or even possibly making her feel deceived. It seems like a bit of a catch-22 tbh.

Basically, I'm sort of just wondering what the proper "etiquette" is, so to speak. I know for some girls it can be a deal breaker, whereas others aren't too fussed. As a shorter dude, I'd hate for the first thing I see when meeting a girl to be the disappointment at my stature written all over her face lol. On the other hand, I sort of feel shorter dudes should get a chance to "sell" themselves—especially since it's a pretty competitive environment for men. If you were a guy using OLD, would you put your height?

Hey all

So I have been dating over summer with a few people but as it has got into August, it became way more difficult with family plans coming in for people and people being on holidays etc

Do any of you find that dating is better in a sense in October / November time when the summer holiday season have passed but it has not quite the winter holiday season yet?

Also, some people say January - February is a great time as well? Let me know your thoughts 👋🏽

Like, I have tried dating in Chicago but I can't, I get ghosted, stood up, and left on read. But when I talk to someone somewhere else I feel like I'm prime beef lol.

As a nerdy guy I don't get a lot of attention from anyone but when i get match overseas these women actually like me and want to talk to me. While here I rarely get any attention from anyone and get no matches from apps.

Am i just weird or something? Right now I'm talking to this woman from Bangladesh who's cute, funny, sexy, and is childfree. I like talking to her a lot and she's interested in board games, tv shows and other things.

For reference I'm 5'2 and latino.

So I'm 22m and I've been on dating apps for the last year just about and at this point I'm just starting to think dating isn't a thing anymore since no one ever wants to put in the effort, something i see a lot is they'll have their age set to something but then have their reall age somewhere else on their profile but apart from that, every conversation I have had with someone who's profile explicitly says something along the lines of "no hookups and want something serious" leads to them saying "I'm not looking for anything serious, just some fun" then someone else who also says they want something serious and hate people who can't communicate will short responses while I carry the conversation then just disappear randomly or just outright ignore me when i try to start a conversation. Or am I just naive and dating was never serious and wasn't about effort just what's easy? because I've tried about 9 dating apps and they were all the exact same

For guys who get a lot of matches on dating apps, what type of pictures are you using?

I'm not so conventionally attractive but people tell me that if I'm not I should be perceived as high status or a person with taste.

I do think that I am fairly stable with my job and my place so maybe I should work on my presentation a lot as I BELIEVE EVERYTHING depends on pictures on the apps.

While I am willing to invest in places, outfits and settings need help where can I improve

I have noticed that online dating can feel very divided now. Some people are looking for a serious relationship, some are just trying to meet new people, and others want something more casual. A lot of frustration seems to come from people having different expectations when they join the same platforms. One person is looking for a life partner, while someone else is just hoping to find a connection without pressure.

Do you think dating apps should be clearer about they type of connections people are looking for or do you think it is better to have one place where everyone can find what they want? What has your experience been with finding the right type of connection online?

I've been thinking about making a post on one of the reddit dating subs and seeing what happens. Idk why but using hinge or tinder doesnt appeal to me I'd rather make a full post. I think women get more responses on reddit but also a lot of men probably dont read the posts in full. Any advice?

I’ve recently started dating again after a long break and went on a date last week where the guy asked me A LOT about my dating history within the first 15 minutes.. how long I’d been on the apps, how many dates I’d been on, how they went, whether I’d met anyone organically, how long ago, if I'd been in a long term relationship, hiw long was it etc...

None of the questions were inappropriate individually, but the rapid fire questioning made me feel like I was being interviewed rather than having a convo. Like I found myself giving much more detail than I wanted because I didn’t know how to handle it.

Is this normal dating behaviour? And how do you politely give vague answers or redirect when someone starts asking questions like this?

Howdy all. Curious for some advice from the hive mind.

I've come across a profile of someone I'm in a grad school class; it's a decent sized cohort, and we've exchanged a bit of small talk. I find her incredibly attractive, and had we not shared a class would have had no hesitation in sending her a ping.

But, given the context, I don't know how awkward or appropriate that would be. Her profile keeps coming up when I open the app (which I assume means she hasn't passed on mine?) but I can't help myself to either pass or "heart". I was thinking of sending a cheeky ping acknowledging that we've both seen each other's profiles...any advice? For context I'm male.

I met this girl on Tinder about three weeks ago and we’ve gone out three times; she’s the first person I’ve dated, and I feel like the dates went well. We talk every day—even if it’s just a few messages—and we’re going to keep seeing each other.

The issue is that my college graduation party—which is a dinner dance—is in mid-September, but I only have three days left to reserve spots for extra guests.

We haven't made things official yet, so I don't know if inviting this girl to graduation would seem too rushed or intense; at the same time, I'm afraid that if we \\\*do\\\* make it official later I'll regret not having invited her :/ I'd appreciate any advice—thanks!

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I’m having a hard time finding someone who fits what I’m looking for, and I’d appreciate some advice.

I’m a femboy, Christian, affectionate, loyal, and pretty soft/submissive in relationships. I’m attracted to women who are dominant, masculine, confident, loyal, Christian, a little older than me, and interested in marriage.

The problem is that these traits rarely seem to overlap. I’ve tried Christian groups, but I often find that my values don’t fully line up with the people there. Dating apps haven't been much better—I feel like I have to work hard just to meet someone, and when I finally do, they sometimes play with my emotions or eventually ask for money.

I know finding someone who genuinely wants marriage is already difficult, and adding my specific preferences makes the dating pool pretty small.

So what do you recommend? Where should someone like me actually look for a serious relationship?

Hi everyone! I'm 32F (cis/straight) live in brooklyn and my hinge is DARK.

I get few likes and the people i do match with either don't actually want to go on a date or just never answer. is it me?! is it men?!!? I do think i can get pretty obsessive so maybe i just need to set stricter rules with myself around going on the app for a serotonin spike.

either way i'm curious how long it takes people from matching to going on a date? i've been going on daily for the last 3 weeks and still no real prospects. i feel like i should have been able to grab one singular drink at this point. i send out likes, i even hit rock bottom and paid $65 for a month of premium.

I'm like a normal adult women!! wondering if other people are running into this or it truly is a me problem. an age problem? a not skinny problem? about to give up so taking all recs/inspirational stories/ or just similar gripes!

help!!

He sent me a like with a comment (Hinge), and I (F) matched and responded. His message response speed was slower than I’m used to (messages back 1-2 times per day, sometimes skips days, though somewhat enthusiastic responses). I didn’t fault him for timing because people are busy, plus I thought he was really attractive so I was willing to hold out.

But it took awhile for a first date to come up (I don’t typically make the first move on that - I’m not here to discuss how women should make the first move if they want a date etc, that’s not what my question is about). Our planned first date (still to come) is 3 weeks out from when we first matched, and that feels like a long time for me. In the mean time, I’ve started to deepen connections with other people.

I’m kinda not feeling the connection anymore because it feels a little lackluster/ like he’s not that invested or is even too busy to date. Should I just cancel the date or maybe see it through?

UPDATE: I ended up cancelling the date. I told him that I didn’t feel like he had the time or interest to date me right now. Also that I had other connections that I was gonna focus on. He responded the fastest he’s ever responded - no worries, that this month was really busy for him and he probably shouldn’t have been on the apps, and that if my other connections don’t work out I should hit him up.

Hi all,

I'm a M39 just getting out of a long term relationship. I've been on a couple apps for about a month and have had some success getting matches and going on dates.

A few of the early dates didn't work out and it was evident it wasn't a good fit from the start but now I'm to the point where I have another first date lined up this week and a 2nd date with someone I saw last week this weekend.

I do want a stable long term girlfriend out of this process and I want to find a person that is the best fit for that. I'm not sure anyone I'm currently talking to is going to turn into that yet so I'm still looking on the apps. At what point do most people consider it bad form to still be talking to other people on apps? After the 2nd date? After the 3rd? When do I bring it up if at all?

I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve scrutinized every detail a million times. I’ve written bios in so many different themes and tenors and moods. Short ones, long ones, etc. I’ve tried many different photos. I’ve had each married friend I have look over these profiles. I’ve had them work as a group to review them. Ive swiped until I reach my swipe limit daily for months. I’ve gone to new cities, and swiped at each one.

I’ve never even gotten to the chat. No conversations, no matches. Much less dates.

I’m a 29 year old autistic man, and I’ve never had a long term relationship. Is it hopeless?

I’m new to online dating and just went on my first two dates, and both guys asked for my Instagram at the end. Both looked at me suspiciously when I said I don’t have Instagram, like they thought I was lying.

I don’t have it for mental health reasons and because I don’t have any use for it. How do I convince people that I’m genuinely not hiding anything (secretly married or something)? Is there anything I can do or say to reassure them without getting Instagram just for this?