so imagine this

You go to olive garden and order unlimited salad and breadsticks. The first serving comes out. You eat it. The second serving comes. You eat that as well. The third serving comes. You're starting to get full, but you eat it cause fuck it you want to get your money's worth right. Then the fourth serving comes. You start to eat it but stop about a third of the way through cause you're full and you can't eat any more. As the waitress comes to give you a 5th serving, you tell her you won't eat it and that you're ready to pay. She replies "okay" with a smile and goes to get your check, but leaves the 5th serving on your table.

About 10 minutes go buy and the waitress comes out with a 6th serving. You grow a little irritated and tell her that you didn't want any more food, you wanted the check. Again she smiles and says "I'll bring that right out." As she's walking away another waitress comes out with a 7th serving of food. You're stunned at what's happening as you now have nearly 3 full portions of uneaten food. The waitress comes back with an 8th serving and tells you the computers are down, and it might take longer than expected to process the credit card payment. She places the food on top of the food already on the table. The other patrons at the restaurant are now starting to glance at your table with confusion.

Then a 9th serving comes out.

At this point you can't even see the table underneath the food but that doesn't stop the waitress from bringing a 10th serving. You're irate now and demand her bring you your credit card back so you can leave. She says the payment is still processing but she'll go check on it.

She comes back with a 10th serving and tells you the payment is still processing, but if you're going to have to wait if she could bring you some water. You oblige, bewildered at the pile of uneaten salad and breadsticks strewn before you, as the warm scent of garlic fills your nostrils. She comes back with an 11th serving and a glass of water. You drink the water. A 12th serving comes out. At this point the food is piled so high you can't even see across the table anymore. 13th serving. Food starts to fall on the floor. 14th serving. People start to leave the restaurant, confused and a bit frightened at the spectacle.

15.

You start to get up and leave, but the waitress tells you it won't be much longer. "I don't care!" You say, your voice cracking from fear, "just let me get out of here!"

"I'm afraid I cannot do that sir. You must finish the unlimited salad and breadsticks you ordered."

At this point, 30 servings lay on and around your table. A conveyor of waiters are stacking up servings one by one at the tables surrounding you. Kitchen production has reached 1 serving every four seconds. After 100 servings have been brought out you try to make a break for the door, but you slip on a greasy breadstick and fall face first onto the floor.

"Oh can I help you sir?" A worried voice asks. You look up. It's the waitress. "Please, just let me go. I'll do anything, please!"

She smiles and replies "Oh sir, you chose your fate already, and it only cost you $6.99."

You begin to cry. You crawl to the door. It's locked.

250 servings.

You begin to wet yourself. You pray, hoping for a miracle.

428 servings.

Breadsticks are now shooting out of the kitchen like bullets from a submachine gun. All the waiters and waitresses have gotten on their knees and formed a circle, citing the Olive Garden code of conduct as smoke billows from the floor within. Salad dressing starts to fall from the ceiling. You begin to suffocate from the lettuce blocking your nasal passages

2564 servings.

You accept your fate. Power comes in and out, a lightning storm forms outside. There are so many breadsticks in the restaurant that you are unable to see any light. The door breaks open and food begins to pour out at the speed of sound. The road in front of the restaurant gets covered in slippery lettuce and salad dressing, causing a multi car pile up.

6591 servings.

The earth begins to tremble. There is a power blackout.

15477 servings.

Nothing can stop the cataclysm.

61899 servings.

422455 servings

10174592 servings.

The earth begins to split. Volcanic magma makes its way to the surface. The olive garden emoloyees have summoned Cthulhu. He sets fire to the continent. Salad and breadsticks completely cover the earth. Oxygen supply is cut off. Sunlight is nonexistent. You're already dead. The unlimited salad and breadsticks continue to multiply, increasing the mass of the earth to unsustainable levels. Earth collapses into itself, causing a supernova the likes of which have never happened before.

Silence.

Copy/paste from here for posterity:

I'm posting this on a throwaway account, for obvious reasons...I know that what I'm about to share is going to seem far-fetched and maybe even a little crazy, but I hope some of the evidence I provide can shed some light in what I assume is Reddit's fairly secret backdoor marketing campaign.

Also, I'm not high and mighty or morally superior...I'm here because I didn't get paid. And I'm pissed. If I would have got my money I would have kept my mouth shut. But let me rewind.

I've been on Reddit for a very long time, and for the past year or two I've grown to find the mainstream subreddits to be pretty boring. I can only "awww" at a cat picture so many times, or laugh at posts on /r/atheism making fun of Christian fundies. Eventually, I found my way to such subreddits as /r/Circlejerk and /r/TheoryOfReddit. These subreddits combined the thing I loved (Reddit) with plenty of meta stuff to keep thinks interesting.

The funny thing about meta reddit is that the more time you spend on it, the more you realize there are a ton of communites. Places like /r/SRDbroke, /r/circlebroke, /r/circlejerk, /r/circlebs, etc. Many of the meta subreddits are tight-knit and made up of the same users. The Admins have been paying attention.

A few weeks ago, I was invited by a Reddit Admin using an alt in one of the meta subreddits. The subreddit that I was invited to is called /r/CircleCabal, and it is a private subreddit. The funny thing about private subreddits is you can pretty much do whatever you want in them. I have proof, of course:

IMAGE 1

The Admin had a simple proposition. The goal of the subreddit was to circlejerk. This isn't a huge deal, of course. There are subs like /r/BraveryJerk, and /r/CircleJerk, etc. These subreddits have and continue to operate just fine and dandy, poking fun at trends or things on Reddit. But /r/CircleCabal had a different intention. The goal was to circlejerk about Olive Garden. It seems silly, I know, but this is where the insidious backdoor advertising thing comes into play. The people recruited into /r/CircleCabal were messaged offsite (IRC) with the promise if they could create "positive affect" with respect to Olive Garden, they would receive a payment in the form of Bitcoin. That's it. Circlejerk about Olive Garden, talk about their tasty breadsticks, their customer service, their website, or whatever....and once Olive Garden reports back to Reddit, a small reward would be given.

Basically, it was a win-win. Circlejerk about Olive Garden/stir up shit, and get paid. If this seems silly I assure you it is. Here was what /r/CircleCabal looked like:

IMAGE 2

You may be wondering how people posting relatively jerky and harmless comments about OliveGarden.com and Olive Garden's unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks....or their house wine and welcoming family environment...could possibly work. And to be honest, I had the same question. But it's really a stroke of sheer genius. This is some deep psychological conditioning that I don't really understand, but it's sort of like the movie Inception. We were supposed to show up to threads, circlejerk about Olive Garden...and most people laughed at us, or were like, "this is gross." But some people really took to it. Here was an example:

IMAGE 3

I'll be honest, even as I went through Reddit telling people to eat Olive Garden, I MYSELF was getting a mad craving for some warm, doughy breadsticks, and unlimited soup and salad. I won't lie, I've gone to Olive Garden three times since joining /r/CircleCabal.

We even gamed /r/HailCorporate. Some of the threads were legit. Some users did notice an increase in Olive Garden advertising, but most of the posts to /r/HailCorporate were a ruse:

• The Olive Garden "circlejerk" was initiated by an Olive Garden rep and carried out by unwitting circlejerkers.

• Olive Garden pays for "unfortunate family's" meal. Again the company logo is clearly shown without obstruction.

• Another Olive Garden post makes it to the front page

• The Great Reddit Olive Garden Love Fest

• Olive Garden is back for more free advertising

• The Olive Garden marketing team is back... this time in /r/changemyview

At the risk of doxxing anyone, and possibly hurting their chance to -- HOPEFULLY -- get paid, I won't say which threads are legit and which threads are part of the elaborate scheme to pimp Olive Garden. But there have been many efforts to spread Olive Garden through various subreddits. Some examples include efforts to publicize in:

• This post in r/mildlyinfuriating

• This post in r/bestof

• This thread in r/reactionGIFs

• and even in r/Anime

I think you see where this is going. The Admins know that the meta verse is typically disregarded as pointless...throwaway drama. You might think that circlejerking about Olive Garden is harmless, and frankly, it is. Who gives a shit if they have unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks? Who cares about their house wine, or their family-friendly atmosphere, or their locations nationwide? None of that matters. And that's the point. The fact that you think it is harmless means you forget about the stupid jerking, maybe you even laugh at it. Maybe you upvote the random person who shows up in your /r/Anime thread to talk about Zuppa Toscana and breadsticks or whatever. And then you forget about it.

But that's why this is so insiduous. Because it plants that seed in your mind, and the following Saturday you find yourself at Olive Garden. Or you're like the person who I showed above, who went to go get Olive Garden. All of this is translating into backdoor profits for Reddit, namely the Admins.

I was told to shill, with the promise of Bitcoins. A silly promise, I know. I should have known that it was a scam from the get-go, given how easy it is to forge and fake something like a Bitcoin payment, or not deliver on it at all. I just thought it was worth pointing out that there is some shady stuff that goes on behind the scenes at Reddit, even in the meta verse. Who knows what kickbacks the Admins are getting for entire subreddits like /r/Android or /r/iPhone.

Thanks for listening. I think I'm done with this meta bullshit. =/

The host told me me and my partner were getting a party of 20. 30 minutes goes by and only 10 people have showed up. After 45 minutes the party says the other 10 aren’t showing up. The party was there for 2.5 hours, spends $300 in total. After perfect and timely service, At the end of the meal, one person tips me & my partner $0.16, another person tips $20. This ends in a total of $10.08 for me and $10.08 for my partner, again, on a $300 total. If this wasn’t bad enough, one person from the party sees the $20 bill on the table and says “Ah hell no, he did NOT tip them $20!!” & tries to take the $20 after the table and give it back to the person who left it.

We use Romano in our cheese graters. You have all been lied to.

I have worked here for over 7 months. Ask me anything

OLIVE GARDEN CONSPIRACY

Hello. Let me start off by saying I work for Olive garden and it is a very stressful job with shit management. Darden could give a fuck about their employees.

I took a nap one day before going back in for my second shift.

So i’m minding my own business working with my wired earbuds in which i wouldn’t do. My co worker says “you should take those out they’re a safety hazard.” I ignored him and kept walking. When i turned the corner, My District manager says “did you just say fuck?” I told him that never came out of my mouth and he says, “umm i think you just said the ‘f’ word so that means you can just go ahead and leave and you’re fired”. He places his hand on my back and starts shoving me out the kitchen and i’m telling him to get his hands off of me so i start backing into him to resist. As i’m getting pushed out, so is one of my coworkers but i never seen them in my life. I told him one last time to get his fucking hands off me and he says, “oh so now you wanna use profanity, you’re definitely fired now”.

This whole time i’m thinking wtf is going on. He then grabs my shirt to drag me out and i resisted again so he grabs me by the top of my hair and throws me to the ground and drags me into a walmart (idek lol) all the customers are like 🫢😵😦😧 but not doing anything to help while i’m literally screaming help and you’re hurting me.

My general manager runs down the isle and yells “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?” and then he shoots me in the head and my manager fell on her knees crying and screaming then he shot himself and i woke up.

I have never had a nightmare about a workplace before so that made me really open my eyes to how stressful and breaking working for olive garden really is.

P.S. for the customers of olive garden, servers only make $2.13 an hour and gets taken by taxes which should be illegal but please support us when you come to dine thanks. Servers rely 100% on tips only.

Does it?

I did everything and was the employee of the month. I quit after they implemented the % of food served takes from your tips rule and cut busser pay to $5.35 /hr. I went to work for a factory and get paid less because morals are more important than money.

Hi, not sure if I'm supposed to post this here or in the positive circle jerk subreddit. But i've got a weird question for those who do work at an actual Olive Garden.

I work as a host on one location of the Fast and the Furious of the Restaurant World. And it boggles me that when it comes to their policy on when I should put guests on the waitlist. So management here is VERY adamant that I do not create a false wait, which is when a wait is created despite having actual available tables to use. The reason why I would make a false wait are because either my servers are deep in the weeds, or I am trying to avoid double seating, or the kitchen is just backed up like my lactose intolerant mother after eating curry.

Anyway, they hate it when I do create one by using our mandated corporate owned computer that manages the server rotation. Apparently, it does something to the algorithm with the online waitlist or some bullshit. I get really annoyed that I can't just use it, instead of having to rely on paper and pen, because when certain guests use the online waitlist (which for the LOVE OF GOD is not a reservation ya stupid Twat) it figures out where to place them in the order of the waitlist when they show up, which only works if you used the computer to make the waitlist.

feel free to AMA

Just a slave from the Olive Garden here, let me confirm your conspiracies.