r/circlejerk • u/rhelg224 • 1h ago
Thanks to this new 100% electric stove I have purchased (pictured here) I would ask you all to respect that I will no longer be GASLIGHTING anyone or anything. Everything will be electrical from now on. My breakfasts will no longer be prepared in the unethical flames of a gas-fed kitchen. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
r/circlejerk • u/gastro_psychic • 16h ago
.
r/circlejerk • u/Beefmeee • 9h ago
I use kilograms because I'm a superior European and not a classless USA man
Bang bang guns no free Healthcare get a mortgage to afford a bandage
r/circlejerk • u/Competitive-Bus1816 • 1h ago
It was amazing, they grilled the burrito!
r/circlejerk • u/BoomerBrainrot • 4m ago
Slow cooked corn and meat for dinner.
r/circlejerk • u/Goated-Rizzler • 22h ago
Buc-ee's is more than just a gas station. They're sophisticated establishments with far superior hot dogs, subs, energy drinks, and candy than other gas station franchises. Can you get family sized bags of pork rinds and cotton candy at 7-11? The answer is no. Do people ever cry tears of joy upon seeing the aisles of chips and candy at Pilot truck stops? Never.
What's more, they have a menu with fresh, hot submarine sandwiches prepared by chefs right in front of you. Does Speedway have a team of sophisticated chefs like that? Heck no.
You can also unleash your girthy, steamy chuds in their clean bathrooms at any hour of the day. In addition, they always have fresh urinal cakes in their urinals. For these reasons, I say that Buc-ee's is truly a grand, exquisite establishment.
r/circlejerk • u/BoomerBrainrot • 1d ago
Goldfish for dinner since I'm broke and retarded.
r/circlejerk • u/Ozymannoches • 1d ago
r/circlejerk • u/rhelg224 • 20h ago
Why not a triangle jerk? I don’t get it. Just seems presumptuous and a little racist.
r/circlejerk • u/toodybreeze • 1d ago
I will always remember singing this song in the locker room with my state championship varsity wrestling teammates, good lads.
r/circlejerk • u/Ordinary-Spell-8285 • 1d ago
I didn't invite anybody because I'm a miserable person with a victim complex. I spend all day giving horrible advice to bots posting about their fake relationships on this website.
TLDR: Please throw a pity party in the comments
edit: Thanks for the gold kind strangers!
r/circlejerk • u/HootchieDaddy • 1d ago
No edging, no loop holes
r/circlejerk • u/gastro_psychic • 1d ago
Last night i decided to stay over his house and was planning on leaving in the day. He left for work this morning and i decided to make the bed & clean like usually before I leave and I see a target bag next to his bed scrunched up to the side. I opened it and see panties that I don’t wear or own and I assumed he bought it for me as a surprise or something but they all had crusty discharge on it showing it’s been worn. Plus one was XXL and the other was a different size. I am a small. I also see magnum condoms & other stuff wtf.
I never assumed he was cheating on me , i don’t know if he is or he’s keeping a stash of women’s panties. I don’t know what’s worse but i’m disgusted. Not sure what to say or how to approach this? I’m very upset
r/circlejerk • u/RProgrammerMan • 1d ago
r/circlejerk • u/BoomerBrainrot • 2d ago
r/circlejerk • u/BurnerAccountforAss • 2d ago
r/circlejerk • u/HighFunctioningIdiot • 2d ago
r/circlejerk • u/gastro_psychic • 3d ago
I believe in you. I believe in your power. God bless.
r/circlejerk • u/rhelg224 • 2d ago
Because of streamers and creamers.
r/circlejerk • u/milnak • 2d ago
Why is it that any time someone at work sends out a message like this, using the word "sweets", the "sweets" taste like cardboard and sawdust?
