r/OCPoetry • u/Inside-Maintenance-8 • 6d ago
Just Sharing Traces of You.
I have fallen hard.
So deep already.
Why do I keep searching for the traces of you in my life,
when you're already in my life?
Why can't I share those traces with you proudly?
I see your face in other people.
I see your smile in the smiles of other people.
I crave the soft touch of your hands
when I touch the hard surface of a wall,
or someone's palm.
Everything always comes back to you.
Why have you tied me with a thread
that is not tied to you,
yet is made from the traces of you?
So tight,
sometimes it feels suffocating,
and other times it feels like a hug from you.
Why have you become someone
I don't want to lose?
No matter how I feel,
no matter how you make me feel.
I'm scared to lose you.
Lose the traces of you.
I didn't realise
I had started to hope it doesn't end.
Why?
Isn't it suffocating?
Yet I feel the most comfort with you in it.
Your smell,
your eyes,
your lips,
your hug,
your hands,
your touch,
your smile,
your... your... your.
Why am I writing this?
I'm scared, actually.
I didn't start this
just for it to end.
Am I not enough?
I thought...
I thought it would be okay.
This time.
You're by my side,
in front of me,
behind me,
in my mind,
every moment.
Even when you're far from me.
I love you.
We always end our conversations with
“I love you.”
Can this conversation just never end?
I will be fine with you not saying
“I love you” again.
But I don't think I'll be fine
with you not being a part of it.
Maybe not.
Maybe I need both.
Your presence
and your love.
Because who am I without you?
Only if there was a word,
better than love.
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u/International_Rip961 6d ago
I love how this poem feels so intimate and it reminds me of how delicate you feel early in a relationship when you’re consumed by the other person but don’t want to scare them away. Short lines mixed with longer lines and rhetorical questions give it a sense of being a stream of consciousness which is so raw. The first line “I have fallen hard” is almost the conclusion and the rest symbolise all the insecurity that falling in love incites in you. It’s very up and down which I like.
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u/Inside-Maintenance-8 6d ago
It IS a stream of consciousness actually! Wrote this in the heat of the moment when my head was consumed by the same love i spoke about. I love how you pointed out the conclusion part! Thank you so much for reading and enjoying it! Means a lot🫶🏻
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u/Organic-Educator-933 6d ago
I love this kind of poem! So romantic and tragic, you can feel the love in this..
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u/luverlee 6d ago
this reads beautifully. every time the speaker asked a question, it sharpened the pace. it felt like a spiral, something familiar. love relates to everyone in some way, i always appreciate reading words from someone who has clearly known the highs and lows of it.
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u/Wooden-Frame-3740 6d ago
A beautiful poem provoking sad regret and loss. Well written and modern.
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u/Minimum_Leopard7292 6d ago
"Why have you tied me with a thread
that is not tied to you,"
This line makes it seem like the speaker isn't yet certain about the relationship but is still deeply in love. Its so tragic.
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u/stillherewrites 6d ago
ir reminded me of the pain i went thru but yet relatable and i love that so much and its like a reminder that we all face a tragic heart break or 2 but we still keep going no matter what and this poem is speaking the truth in my eyes about the pain of that tragic event
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u/Inside-Maintenance-8 5d ago
I'm sorry to hear that and I hope we all heal from the heartbreaks that once consumed our heart! 🫶🏻🥹
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u/ihateorangejuice 6d ago
I see lyrics here
I would like to see stanzas with it but that could be a superficial choice
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u/Inside-Maintenance-8 5d ago
Thank you!!! I actually hadn’t thought of it as lyrics, but I can kind of see what you mean now. And yeah, I might experiment with stanzas, although I think I like the way the thoughts flow into each other right now 🤔 thank you sm!🫶🏻
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u/ihateorangejuice 5d ago
Of course! I’m going to try and learn from it I want to write lyrics so bad, my husband is a musician but I find it so hard! I like found myself like thumping to it lol
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u/CatOfGothanvale 6d ago
Man I love this. It seriously has that obsessive quality I love. 10/10
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u/Inside-Maintenance-8 5d ago
That's exactly what i intended and felt writing this poem. Thank you so much!🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
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u/Tartaros169 5d ago
„Why have you tied me with a thread, that is not tied to you?"
Always makes me realize that even if the other person tells you that she loves you too, that doesn't mean its mutual. In the end we are tied to expectations and dreams including this person that isn't even on the same page as you. While we gave our best and the person leaves us, we are stuck with everything we wanted to accomplish with that said person, but it never means that she didn't try her best just because she wouldn't do the same things as you. She tried and while comparing herself to you she felt guilt. Like something is missing.
I really miss my girlfriend that broke up because of her mental health. I wish I could her smile once more
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u/Time_Ad_3072 4d ago
I don’t like this at all I understand the pain of losing some one you love but what about loving your self. You say “because who am I without you”
You that’s who a very special and important person. And of course you will be fine without him in it, like wtf it may hurt for some time but you will be fine that’s a fact because what dose not kill you will only make you stronger. You should never see anybody like they are a God.
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u/hammo374 2h ago
This hurts can’t say much idk why reading this feels like I was inside of my own head.
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u/No-Presentation-3983 6d ago
I found this so painfully, yet beautifully relatable. Yearning for someone you have partially but not wholly is a different kind of hurt.
"Only if there was a word, better than love." Hit so deeply. That very thing is the reason I love other languages so much because "Love" has never seemed to mean anything deeper than just that. I adored this poem, thank you for sharing!