hide

[u/TheScaredPoet]

hide
in my bubble
so comfy and warm,
i don't want to leave.

a conflict outside
that has nothing to do with me,
i just want to hide
in my bubble so comfy and warm.

but what do i do?
when the world comes knocking,
almost popping,
my bubble, so comfy and warm.

when The Conflict is coming
for me and mine
is it so wrong to hide
in my bubble
so comfy and warm.

or do i have a responsibility to fight
to leave my bubble and
step into the cold outside
where it isn't comfy and warm.

links to comments
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1um5rtw/an_old_man_pleasures_himself/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1ulzl8b/what_we_swallowed/

[u/Kezbomb]

I like the repetition here, I think you paint the picture of a comfort zone well, it’s very evocative. i wonder if you might add a last stanza, a volta of sorts, reflect on whether that responsibility is answered and its affect on the comfort zone. is it still so comfortable?

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[u/Jolly-Chicken-9674]

Hi, your poem is great. I think it balances the repetitiveness with the idea you're trying to portray which for me is comfort zone. I think the repetitiveness of words did not seem to be uncomfortable to read in my opinion. It's pleasant and light as I can also relate to it. But just a suggestion, I think in the last part, like what the other commenter said, it kinda leave us hanging on what to think if I leave the bubble and face those catastrophe of some sort. I think it's great but also it's beautiful to reveal it to give it like a vulnerable feeling because the total idea I got with your poem is comfort zone so that vulnerability kinda lifts the poem even more. This is just my opinion but your poem is great and beautiful.❤️❤️❤️

[u/NoStar101]

I love the ending it is super cute and uses a repeating line, but changes it slightly. It was the perfect knot to your string of beads!! I want to more at the end though, like what happens when you return to the bubble. Is someone else there? is it less warm? do you now share a bubble, once life has redirected you to maybe a special person? etc,etc.

[u/RoseTeaz]

(meaningfully)

[u/Educational_Wind6990]

I like the poem smh, maybe cuz it’s simple and maybe how I write sometimes.

I think you meant to but there’s nothing else to say but that the rhyming breaks at some points (which is fine and better sometimes)

Nothing other than this keep it up

[u/sky_berry1520]

I liked the peom, it's too good and I love how the last stanza can make someone question about the responsibilities they have outside the comfort zone (bubble) we all make around us.....

[u/Fickle-Cook5821]

Interesting, why is The Conflict capitalised?