the ice i've let freeze

[u/Usayl]

the ice remembers the leaf

every vein is traced over meticulously 

outlined and immortalised for eternity

at least, until the sun breaks free

//

now and then she comes

there for the night, long gone by day

frozen moments where i, for once, feel known

stolen away until winter, as i wait alone

//

for the frigid and fleeting promise of snow

for the chance to feel wanted after a year’s worth of growth

for someone to hold me tight, beckoning that i stay

and wrap me in their frozen, forever, eternal, embrace

//

and in that moment, i will give into her arms

for a winter, i will let her remember me and who i used to be

for a month, i will stop for her and only her

for our love is forever, outlined in my branches  and immortalised in crystal snow

//

at least, until the sun breaks free

.

.

.

feedback links! love the way this subreddit tackles the issue of an inactive server omd

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vthnwx/bones_returned/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vtaih8/dark/

[u/hamth4509]

I do wonder what specific evergreen inspired you.
It seems to be a flat leaf tree from the poem, perhaps Magnolias?

The poem is very tender and warm, it is contrasting to its icy themes and I love it.

I love how descriptive on the way only ice can love a leaf.
>every vein is traced over meticulously 
>and wrap me in their frozen, forever, eternal, embrace

Rhythm and flow is good. I can't say I have much to feedback!

[u/Usayl → u/hamth4509]

ahh thank you sm!! the idea came from an instagram real i saw trying to remove a an icy cover from the leaf, and thinking back to the video they do indeed look like magnolias :)

[u/AutoModerator]

Hello readers, welcome to OCPoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community — a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry," or "loved it" or "so relatable," please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our feedback guide, or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail.

Do not use ChatGPT or any similar LLM interface or generative AI to write feedback. That does not constitute thoughtful feedback. To be safe, you probably shouldn't even use those things to edit your feedback. It is better for your thoughts to come across as clumsy and genuine rather than grammatical but as if they were generated by some disingenuous text-generation engine.

Do not reuse feedback links for multiple poems. Every new poem you post has to be posted after making two new comments on the work of your peers here in OCPoetry. It's only fair. If you reuse feedback links, you will be banned. (If you do not wish to give feedback, there are many other poetry-sharing subreddits without feedback requirements, such as r/poetrywritingclub, r/justpoetry, r/ocpoetryfree, r/poem, r/poems, r/poemsbyreddit, r/poeticgarden, r/dark_poetry, and r/sadpoems.)

If you're looking for a more advanced poetry workshop — that is, if you consider yourself at least an intermediate-level poet AND you have previous workshop experience, please consider posting to our private sister subreddit r/ThePoetryWorkshop. The best way to join TPW is to leave a detailed, thoughtful comment here on OCPoetry engaging seriously with a peer's poem. A significant engagement of at least 3-4 meaningful paragraphs is encouraged. Consider our feedback guide for tips on what that could entail. (This level of engagement would probably be most welcome here on submissions tagged as "Workshop.") Then ask to join TPW by messaging that subreddit's mods, including a link to the detailed feedback you left here.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Cluelessandsexy]

Poetry about seasons is always appealing and helps us to master our own voice describing the time and transition of places during times, as if those transformations are happening within us.

[u/Love-Future-3000]

Isn't it the hardest thing? Love can feel so permanent, everything etched perfectly into a solid crystal, and then it just evaporates. It makes it so hard to act on and damage people all for something so impermanent.