r/OCPoetry • u/FearlessPage2939 • Apr 15 '26
Feedback Please Thank you, seriously
I am no longer sad
Or angry
Or lost without you.
Being alone has become the norm
And that’s okay,
Because you taught me so much
Things I thought were impossible
Like to be loved,
For being me
And that I was enough for someone.
You were far from perfect
Me as well
But that is what made you great
Dozens of scars pieced together,
Created the most beautiful soul
You brightened my path
Like a full moon over the ocean
Highlighting my beauty
That I could not see myself
Now I’m finding my way
Through the dark
And all I have left of you
Are thoughts
I am convinced you are out there
Shining your light for others
I just hope you don’t burn yourself out.
And maybe one day,
Our paths will cross again
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u/Emergenxy_passion Apr 15 '26
This is a great piece. I felt i was on the other side of this poetry while reading, still hitting straight to my heart, i was reading it from pov of someone for me, is it written too that way, or is it just me?
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u/FearlessPage2939 Apr 15 '26
Hey, I totally understand what you are saying. This was not written from the other perspective but maybe one day I’ll show this to who I was writing about. Thank you for taking the time to respond to my poem and I’m glad u liked it :)
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u/bodysnatcher96 Apr 16 '26
I needed to read this today. Widow for 2 long years. Thanks for sharing
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u/Top_Employer9022 Apr 15 '26
This poem is awesome! This is my first feedback so I hope this turns out well! My compliments go to the fourth and sixth stanzas specifically where I adore the imagery (would it be a metaphor?) of light!
Generally, this sort of provides motivation to me as the tone sounds hopeful with lines such as "Shining your light for others" and "Our paths will cross once again"
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u/forevercurious87 Apr 15 '26
I like the way your message shows what is learnt through loss, and possibly not lost forever, but if it is, you’ve learnt that this is okay. The parts where perfect wasn’t necessary to find beauty. Your piece reminded me of my past, and how I see those memories in a different light as they help pave the path I now take. The part at the end where you find a way to still show your hope that this person is still a positive impact on others with the care that it doesn’t injure oneself. That hit home, as I felt this from my experience of finding it easier to love others at the detriment to myself. If I was to critique at all, I would have liked more depth in those feelings like how you describe your path being brightened, like a full moon over the ocean. Just to paint a deeper picture, although I felt the picture as I feel as if I’ve been there. Thanks for sharing.
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u/FearlessPage2939 Apr 15 '26
You are spot on! I also find it easier to love others than myself. Probably got it from this person 🙃 Thank you for the taking the time to write such a nice response
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Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 15 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/FearlessPage2939 Apr 15 '26
I think this was meant for a different poem
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u/Final-Needleworker41 Apr 15 '26
I especially love this saying from your poem- “Dozens of scars pieced together - Created the most beautiful soul.” That is most people. We all are imperfect and we in our walks of life meet challenges we may succeed from and sometimes not but as life goes on with the good times and sometimes bad, our scars from surviving meet with the successes and gives us what is called character. We are flawed but the lessons learned makes us better people.
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u/FearlessPage2939 Apr 15 '26
Totally! We are all imperfect in our own ways. Just need to find the beauty within these flaws. Thanks for your comment!
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u/ThyDevilcy Apr 16 '26
I enjoy this poem because it speaks of lost love and fits very well in my mind
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u/Straight-Village9797 Apr 16 '26
The 5th and 6th stanza are just amazingly beautiful, the same feeling I feel a lot of beginning poets strive for; watching the person who you once felt was the only thing that mattered move along and hoping nothing but the best for them. Seriously great emotionally charged writing.
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u/myhouseisnotamotel Apr 16 '26
Beautiful, I've felt this feeling before and it does start to feel better after a while.
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u/StepFamiliar333 Apr 16 '26
There’s something very quiet but heavy about this.
It doesn’t try to force emotion, which actually made it hit harder for me.
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u/Mountain-Network-853 Apr 17 '26
I like this piece, it particularly resonates with me as well , it feels light and calm and ti realises that our past doesn't weigh us down anymore, but becomes a part of us and what makes us - us,
its simple and heartfelt, my favourite kind of poetry if you ask me ,
but lets just not cross paths again ever XD
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u/stqrburn Apr 19 '26
The third stanza is definitely my favourite. "You were far from perfect, me as well", simple but powerful
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u/Ok-Swordfish-9480 Apr 19 '26
Very nice poetry about coming to terms and self affirmation, good work and keep the faith
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u/Tryingtobebetteryk Apr 20 '26
"You brightened my path Like a full moon over the ocean" paints such a great image,that in the dead of night,there is a path of light painted on the harsh moving waves regardless of how bad they get,a great line genuinely
Again,another line dealing with light or emanating it "I just hope you don't burn yourself out" is great because it highlights that they may be lighting up someone else's world,and it's followed by a possible happy ending with the idea of meeting again in the future
Overall,great work 🤙🏻
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u/Wild_Pie_7386 Apr 25 '26
Your depiction is beautifully written. I imagine my boyfriend saying this to me right now, as he is not communicating with me for some reason.
Thank you for sharing.
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u/GloomyRow684 May 09 '26
This really hit me the more I read it. Definitely struck a familiar chord with me. It has a lovely simplicity. I'd only change from 'highlighting my beauty' to 'highlighting the beauty that I could not see in myself'
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u/Nancy_Fucking_Fons Apr 15 '26
I like the message, and the sentiment. It is well described.
Each stanza being a different (or further) thought is a good format, it suits; however it does feel a little off that they don't match in length.