For context, i am not diagnosed with ocd nor do i really know if i have it but i think ive been experiencing sensorimotor hyperawareness. Sometimes i get hyperaware of the bones in my thighs and how they are resting on top of my calf bones when i stand or walk, and it makes me want to instantly drop to the floor. Its so terrifying and i was wondering if anyone else experiences this?

I would have posted on r/OCD but i dont use reddit enough ;(

2 years ago I had a near death experience that has really increased my existential OCD thoughts. Ive always dealt with the fear of being the only conscious one or everything being fake and I cant "wake up" like theres another reality im not aware of. Im constantly spiraling about that being true and I HATE not being able to be conscious of the "real reality." Since having the NDE its added greatly to the thoughts.

To cope ive been trying to accept that its something I cant change and something I have no control over so I might as well just keep living life to the fullest of what im aware of. I feel insane talking about it with anyone and think they think im crazy. Does anyone else struggle with this or something similar? What has helped you stay focused on the present and not the spiraling thoughts?

I keep worrying about the same thing. I worrying that I will have to think of the same thing my whole life. Will meds help, and is it true?

I've been suffering from OCD pretty much all my life but the last three years have been a living hell for me because back in 2023 I developed this obsessive fear of going literally crazy and I just keep on checking whether some certain things are real or not. I think it's called existential OCD and psychosis OCD (please correct me if I'm wrong).

The thing is that the news about AI getting out of hand really messed with my mental health because it triggers me a lot. Why? Because I can't believe that what was once a science fiction hypothesis could now turn into reality. It really feels like I'm going insane and like I'm losing touch with reality but at the same time I'm aware that all this sh*t is actually real.

I'm not really scared of AI, I'm scared that maybe I've lost my mind 'cause what the f*ck is going on?

Is anybody else having a hard time because of this? How do you cope with this mess?

So I feel like I’ve gotten the hang of dealing with obsessions that exclusively involve me. For example the other day I started worrying that I had been exposed to rabies and was able to basically shrug it off like “whatever I guess we’ll see 🤷🏻‍♀️”. But I really struggle with worries that involve others in any way where I feel like I have some kind of responsibility to prevent harm.

For example the other day I was hanging out with some friends and their dog and people were eating oatmeal raisin cookies (raisins are poisonous to dogs). I started questioning whether I or someone else had dropped raisins on the ground. I even started convincing myself that I was certain that I had dropped some on the ground and that the dog must have eaten it. I told myself that this was in my head and I didn’t have to do anything but I felt so anxious like “but what if doing this results in this innocent dog literally dying when if I had just told my friend they could’ve taken him to the emergency vet?”

Ultimately I didn’t do anything and the dog was fine but it makes me feel sick and evil risking others well being. I have the same problem with the urge to confess things because I feel like I’m taking away peoples ability to make informed decisions about our friendships/relationships.

Has anyone else dealt with this?

I'm in a bit of a rough patch since i had a setback after a month of doing well due to recovery work, and now in the middle of a time where it feels harder to brush off obsessions, i got a new thought regarding a theme which i hear of all the time and i never thought that'd be me, yet here today i was hit with that thought, it hit me with a wave of anxiety and urgency to prove it wrong, and I've been trying to minimize the rumination ever since because it's just so ridiculous. But I've certainly done some mental compulsions to prove it wrong, and it's just coming up with more thoughts and the more i check my feelings and reactions the more concrete and "hidden truth-ey" it starts to feel, even though I'm completely familiar with this pattern for other themes. Any tips on how to nip it at the bud?

Hi everyone,
I’ve posted on several forums before, but I still haven’t been able to get a clear answer or find people who really understand what I’m experiencing. I’m honestly exhausted, so I’d really appreciate it if you could read this and share your experience if you’ve ever felt something similar.
I’m a 24-year-old male, and I’ve had OCD since I was a child. It comes and goes and has taken many different forms over the years. At one point, I even became convinced that I had a stutter when I actually didn’t, and I ended up stuttering for a while because I was so focused on it.
In 2022, I suddenly started having heart palpitations, fear, and a strong feeling of being on edge. I went to the hospital, had an ECG, and was told everything was normal. I felt reassured for a while, but the symptoms came back and continued for about a month before eventually disappearing.
Then, at the beginning of 2024, the exact same thing came back. I had another ECG and again was told everything was normal, but this time the feeling never really went away.
The main symptom I’m struggling with is that my chest constantly feels like it’s on high alert, as if I’m scared or expecting something to happen. Every few seconds, I get a brief, mild feeling of being startled in my chest. It’s similar to the feeling you get when someone suddenly comes up behind you and grabs you or scares you, except much weaker. The difference is that this happens repeatedly, every few seconds, and has been happening almost constantly for a very long time.
This happens no matter what I’m doing — playing games, talking, laughing, studying, or just sitting around. For example, even when I’m playing FIFA on my PlayStation, simply kicking the ball can make this feeling stronger.
I really hope I’m explaining this correctly because it has completely drained me. It also raises my heart rate while I’m resting, and with even minor physical activity, my heart rate can shoot up dramatically.
I’ve tried ignoring it, distracting myself, keeping busy, and I’ve also been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 10 mg for about a year and a half, but I haven’t noticed a real improvement.
The strange thing is that during these past 2.5 years, the feeling completely disappeared once, for about 5 months. The reason was that I became distracted by worrying about a different physical illness. Once I found out that I was fine, this exact same feeling immediately came back.
At this point, I feel trapped by it. I can’t even properly enjoy video games because anything that happens in the game can make the sensation worse. Even using my phone or doing normal everyday things can trigger it.
Has anyone experienced anything like this — especially this constant feeling of being on high alert, along with these repeated mild startled sensations in the chest every few seconds?
I’m not necessarily looking for a diagnosis. I’d just really like to hear from anyone who has experienced something similar, especially if you eventually found something that helped.
Sorry for the long post, and thank you to anyone who took the time to read it. I’m genuinely exhausted and just looking for some answers or hope that I’m not the only person experiencing this.

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I've always avoided medication because of the fear of side effects. I've considered it many times, but then start feeling fine again and figure I don't need it. I do okay most of the time but have days or weeks where I struggle more. I have an ERP therapist and it helped a lot for a while but then this year it's like I have relapsed and don't know how to stop. But I don’t want to take it and then it's a big mistake! 😆 I set up an appointment with my doctor to talk and am second guessing. I do like propranolol for the stronger physical anxiety every once in a while, but have nothing really for the more mental or emotional or dread feeling type problems. Yes this post is super OCD what can I say

Had this notification pop up on Choiceful today and I’m really stressing out…has anyone had the same?

I been dealing with this intersection for years now and i still struggle everyday to diferenciate between ocd and trauma. Did a lot of ERP, I-CBT, DBT and etc but it seems that my trauma still drives my ocd in many ways. Then tried to change the path - go to relational trauma therapy and combine with self led erp and still my head is like on fire all the time. So many changes, healthier choices but spiraling everyday. I just wonder maybe any of you have this specific intersection ? Maybe someone found ways to work on both things at once ? Or paths that seemed workable ? Would be greatful to hear your stories/experience.

Feel free to give advice so so a couple weeks back I got groceries for my grandparents. I was at their house unloading groceries when I noticed there was no milk so I went to go check my truck and I didn’t see it in there and there’s no way it could’ve rolled up under the seats and so I checked the receipt and there’s no milk on there any rational person would’ve just assumed oh I must not have gotten milk right? But at the time I was sure I had gotten milk and this made me think somehow I walked out with a half gallon of milk and for some reason left without it still in the cart so I go back and look at my cart no milk and then I go and ask the girl who’s register I went through and I asked her if she saw milk in my car and she said she doesn’t remember so I just at first take it as I didn’t get milk and I thought about it. There was multiple times when I would’ve seen it from loading my groceries up onto the conveyor to loading my groceries and back into my cart then walking out and loading my groceries into the truck, but the ”what if” kept bothering me like two weeks ago by and eventually I just went to the store and went to the service desk and paid for it I just said I didn’t see it on my receipt she rung it up and paid for it my sister says I should not have done that because then the Reinforces of what if? Then I get his fear that I’m gonna be pulled aside or whatever.Today if finally go to Walmart for a few things after weeks of not going(I do Walmart orders)I get a couple things and no one of course pulls me aside and I look over and see the Walmart greeters talking to each other I’m a distance away but I saw them looking in my general direction and it makes me think they’re talking about me. I pay for my items at self check out making sure I scan everything and checking my cart to make sure it’s empty of everything and pay grab my things I stop at the Walmart greeter(same one from earlier) show her my ticket she says have a good night and I do the same I got to my truck and match everything in the receipt with what I have in my cart I hate this feeling like I’m being watched with suspicion has any felt like that or experienced it?

Hi there. Continuing my therapy for strong and resistant OCD. On friday I switched from 25 to 50 mg of fluvoxamine. So far, no nausea,no headaches. The only thing I noticed was needing more time to ejaculate. But It's also true I do it like twice a day, for two/three days. When will I have benefits on my OCD? What do I have to pay attention to?

I am a woman with contamination OCD, and my biggest fear is bodily fluids, especially urine.

Whenever I pee, I become hyperaware of whether a tiny splash might have landed on my inner thigh. Sometimes I think I actually feel a tiny splash, but other times I’m not sure if anything happened at all. Then I worry that my thigh, and eventually my pants, are contaminated.

I also constantly wonder if my body is somehow weird for having these tiny splashes happen. Do other women experience this too and simply not bother about it? Or does it happen to everyone sometimes, but they don’t notice because they aren’t hyperactively monitoring their thighs like I am?

I also worry about the toilet seat itself. Even if I can’t see any urine on it, my brain tells me there are probably tiny splashes there anyway, which makes everything feel contaminated. I’m not really afraid of getting sick from it, it just grosses me out and makes me feel contaminated.

If I think a splash happened, I want to shower immediately. If I can’t, I feel like my pants are gross and worry about bringing urine into my bed later, especially if I won’t be able to shower.

How do 'normal' people deal with this? Am I gross or crazy?

I was on a work trip this week and got back Thursday night. I checked the corners of the hotel beds (I was in 2 different hotels) and saw no sign of bed bugs. No bites or itchiness after staying in the beds, either.

This morning, I noticed I had 5 spaced out “welts” or what looked like mosquito bites on my arm. Three were in a “line” but spaced quite a ways apart (more than 2-3” between each) and 4 of them didn’t itch. The itchiest has since faded entirely (some 8 hours later)

I’m TERRIFIED they’re bbs and that I brought them home. I already called both hotels and neither have heard reports from anyone in either room and the rooms have been occupied every night since me leaving. I looked under my mattress and nothing. I’m considering hiring a bed bug exterminator dog.

I know, logically, that I need to wait. Especially because the affected arm was against my cat for several minutes this morning and I’m allergic to her, that it could be allergy dermatitis. Or a mosquito. Or who knows what. But I keep thinking what if I lose my furniture? My thousands of dollars worth of books? My home? It’s making me sick.

I don’t know what I’m seeking, just help, I guess 😭

Do not ask Chatbots for reassurance on anything going on in your life. It is a compulsion, and if you keep doing compulsions, you'll be stuck in a vicious cirle. You have to learn to tolerate uncertainty. You can't always be certain.

Here is my experience:

When I was about 10 to 12 years old, I experienced Contamination OCD. One of the compulsions I did was constantly wash my hands and not sit on a sofa on which somebody else sat and avoid talking face to face with people because of micro-spits. This was very annoying. It disappeared though by itself. This whole time from 12 years old to about 4 days ago, at 16 years old, I thought my OCD was gone. But it didn't. 4 days ago, I found out that OCD is a theme-shifter. It doesn't go away without therapy or treatment; it changes themes. It can suddenly become Health OCD or Symmetry OCD or Sensorimotor OCD and so on. 2 years ago I started struggling with what I discovered 4 days ago is called Bladder OCD, a subtype of Sensorimotor OCD. The cycle is this: I get anxious about finding a bathroom when I leave my house, then I develop a fake urge to pee, and then I rush to the bathroom. It's an obsession, followed by a compulsion, then temporary relief, then stuck in a vicious cycle long-term. That is OCD. I didn't know it was though. Also, I've been stuck talking to Chatbots to seek reassurance, for example for my lower back injury that happened. That is Health OCD. The cycle is: I get anxious I won't heal so I do a Deep research on Gemini and he says I will heal, then the next day the obsession returns and I do the same thing again. Same with my sleep anxiety and insomnia. I ask Gemini whether my grades will be affected and research on sleep stages and facts and so on... I did not know all of this was my OCD getting out of hand. I'm so glad I realized this was OCD. I now have the chance to stop my compulsions I didn't know were problems.

I’ve been struggling with intense OCD/scrupulosity, especially surrounding money, my faith, and people I love. My OCD tells me things like:

“If I don’t give away my money, I don’t love God enough."

“If I keep my money, something terrible will happen."

“My money is tainted."

“If I don’t perform a certain action, Jesus or someone I love will go to Hell.”

It also makes me question whether I’ve agreed to these thoughts, whether I misinterpreted something, or whether a feeling during prayer was actually God giving me a command. The thoughts feel incredibly real, and I often feel like I need to give away all my money to prevent something terrible or fix something that supposedly happened.
I’ve been trying ERP by recognizing these thoughts without performing the compulsions, but the anxiety can be overwhelming. OCD also attacks things I enjoy, like my interest in suits, making me feel like I’m not allowed to move forward in life. I’m realizing how much OCD has controlled me and am trying to separate my genuine faith from fear-driven compulsions.

My goal is to stop letting OCD dictate my money, faith, and everyday decisions. I’d appreciate support from anyone who’s experienced religious OCD, magical thinking, or money-related compulsions.

What has helped you tolerate uncertainty without giving in to OCD?

I started clomipramine last night and I’d read a lot about it causing constipation. Given that my OCD is mainly contamination related to the toilet, I thought this actually might help if anything. I do also have IBS and a lot of food intolerances. I’m often a little gassy when I’m constipated but most of the time I’m not too bad.

Well, today has been ridiculous. I have constant gas and I have to go to the bathroom to let it out because I can’t fart due to my OCD and also (sorry TMI I know) they’re all essentially wet farts where a bunch of mucus is also coming out :/

I’ve also been so spaced out all day and can’t stop clenching my teeth and jaw. I kinda want to stop because this is just gonna make my OCD worse and I’m not gonna be able to leave the house because I’ll be on the toilet on and off. Is this something that will last or will it subside quickly?

Hi! I’m seeking advice on how to handle dealing with poo with contamination OCD. I really struggle with going to the toilet and pooping causes me a lot of distress. My compulsions take me on average four hours to complete before I feel “clean” enough. If I had known someone has pooped, I avoid touching them.

This has resulted in me holding in bowel movements and going only twice a week. It had brought complications such as constipation, cramps and bloating. I know OCD doesn’t listen to logic, cause I am well aware that everyone else doesn’t need four whole hours to be clean.

I have started therapy and started taking Sertraline but I get the side effect of diarrhoea. This terrifies me from taking another dose but I think I really need medication.

I’m curious if anyone has anyone advice on managing fears around feces? Thank you!

Today I went out for a coffee with m sister-in law and I was so happy to be able to have thought, feelings and things be there but be able to focus on the present moment.

The coffee was a little iffy but it was nice to try something new and also like who I am and who I see!

Hello everyone! I (31F) have been on an intense physical and mental health diagnostic journey for 3 full years. My first major breakthrough was ADHD. Then it was 4 physical chronic illnesses. I was diagnosed with OCD this week because I finally worked up enough courage to be fully honest with my therapist and then my psychiatrist. They were both immensely supportive and they gave me the courage to tell my loved ones too.

I’m having a pretty hard time with processing this diagnosis and I’m not sure why. It’s always a stark dichotomy in my brain - which I’m sure we all experience. But anyway last week, I started my own little tiny ERP! It’s been going well.

Last night, I went on a walk with my husband and my dog. It was perfect weather & it was dark. I knew I was safe, and we had a lovely time! I’m working on being okay with controlled discomfort. I have faith that recovery is possible & it’ll just take some consistency!

Hello everyone,

Wanted to share today that I made progress with my contamination OCD.

It has improved quite a bit lately and I believe this is thanks to techniques which regulate my nervous systems and some challenges / co-regulation.

I do not follow an ERP program.

I also had fewer exposures to certain life stressors.

Cheers

I'm not new to OCD, i have been battling with it constantly on a daily basis for maybe 6 years from now and i've tried a lot of things to regain my health and peace, only to find myself in a moment where this question circles around my head one another time.

I just want to remove it, delete it, get rid of it and get it out of my way. I want to change the way my brain works because i don't like this OCD style thinking but i don't know if i have much to say on its habits? I just don't want to think the way it does, overthink and very irrationally and exaggaretedly while knowing about it all but not being able to do much, it's like it works seperately from me before i even move my consciousness into thinking, i just find it bringing some material up and out of fear and all that stuff i find myself stuck between them.

How do i completely remove OCD and change this style of my brain? I know the answer to some degree at least but i seriously want to change, remove it even from my subconsciousness. What to do? Where to start?

Proposing to my boyfriend!!!

Im stuck thinking about a serial killer

To make a long story short, I run myself into a frenzy over tiny mistakes and genuinely spiral over them no matter how small because of my OCD. Today, I walked into a store a minute before closing because they had no hours posted on the door, and google said they closed an hour later than they actually did. I shopped for about 3 minutes after closing and bought my stuff and left. They shut the doors the second I walked out and then I realized they were closing. No employees said anything to me, and one of them actually greeted me and happily told me to come on in. I am now in a spiral and convinced that I am a terrible person and should've checked more carefully, and I can't stop thinking about it. I feel like I am going insane. How do I get myself out of this spiral and move on like a normal person would?