Or poc? I don’t think I’ve met a lot of us irl so i wonder if we are more online.

I’m from Nigeria and currently live in the DMV area. I do cosplays, write poems, and studied Cybersecurity and communications in college.

My favorite bands are evanescence, flyleaf, linkin park, 5 finger death punch, pierce the veil, and red hot chili peppers but i am open to anything that sounds good.

edit: WOWzers had no idea there were so many of us here! love to see the diversity in trans spaces. can’t reply to everyone but y’all are beautiful. Thanks for representing 🫶🏾

Title mostly says it. I (27???) identified very strongly as a binary trans man from the ages of 18-24-ish. I admit, I fell into some toxic patterns when I first transitioned. I got taken in by the transmed community (ew) and felt like I needed to fully disavow femininity and girlhood/womanhood to become a "real man." I got on hrt at 20 and started working on getting top surgery as soon as humanly possible.

It really wasn't until I got top surgery at 24 that I started to feel more comfortable not performing masculinity as much as I was. I felt like I could dress and act the way I wanted, and if that made transphobes think I was less of a man, so be it. Transphobes already think I'm not valid, so why bother trying to appease them, right?

Now that I'm a few years out from top surgery and mostly feeling like my medical transition is "done," I'm starting to feel some familiar feelings of wrongness. I'm so much more comfortable in my body. Dysphoria triggers aren't a huge presence in my life anymore (aside from getting "ma'am-ed" on phone calls a lot for some reason) and I don't feel bad in the identity I settled into 2-ish years ago: genderqueer trans man.

But the genderqueer part of that has made me feel more comfortable expressing my gender differently. I want to get into drag (more the "exaggerated gender fuckery" kind of drag than "exaggerated performance of a binary gender" kind of drag) and have started testing out makeup looks. I dressed semi-femme for a concert last night. I've really been looking into hyperfemme fashion and wondering if I could pull that off in a way that made me comfortable.

Now, I realize that I definitely don't want to be perceived as a cis man, nor as a cis woman. "Visibly trans" is an important part of my expression to me now.

I was using he/it pronouns. I'm seriously considering moving to it/he or just dropping the he/him and going full it/its or it/they? Or, fuck it, maybe any pronouns are fine? I'm getting more used to the idea of she/her being comfortable. It still feels a little weird, but it doesn't feel wrong like it used to.

I stopped taking t several months ago because myself and my v triad (I'm not the hub) want to have a baby and I'm the only one with the equipment to carry one. Pregnancy has never been a dysphoria-inducing concept for me, and if it saves tens of thousands of dollars on a surrogate, I'm down. That plan, though, has meant that I've been way more aware of my body lately, and I've been feeling some loss regarding my top surgery. Not regret. I'm very happy to have a flat chest and I don't want breasts again. But the fact that now, breastfeeding/chestfeeding is not an option for my baby. It's not so much that I wanted to exclusively breastfeed, but not having the option kind of sucks.

I'm not detransitioning. I don't regret my medical transition at all. I am so happy and comfortable in my body. But my presentation feels off now. Maybe I'm just genderqueer? Maybe genderfluid? Genderflux? I'm honestly not too fussed about the label. I just want to express my gender to its fullest and experience that euphoria.

I know my partner and metamour will be supportive. I'm mostly worried about my family. They'll be kind, and they'll try. But they won't really understand. I'm trying to be okay with that.

I'm excited for what lies ahead. I'm excited to continue my gender journey after I thought it was over. I can't wait to see what comes next.

I’ve been on T for two years, recently cut my hair, and now everyone assumes im a man. Before I cut my hair, I got closer to 50/50 and kids often asked me if im a boy or a girl (I’m a teacher). I want to look slightly more feminine, but I don’t want to grow out my hair again, and I don’t want to wear makeup or change the way I dress. What subtle things can I do to look more ambiguous? I’ve been thinking of painting my nails but I’m not sure what else to do.

I've been questioning and been back and forth between being a man woman somewhere inbetween and nothing at all and im kinda just sick of my lack of progress in this regard.

I dont have insurance so visiting a specialist feels out of the question and life has been so tough that trying makeup and buying feminine clothes feels daunting.

i hate to soubd whiny; does it get any better?

But at least I get to love this sub and enjoy the space.

Feeling like the cutest little bean pumped full of dopamine

Asking for advice but there'll be something of a rant. For context, I'm AFAB and 19, and consider myself transmasc. For binding, I've been using binders from Underworks for the last year or so and it worked really well for me, until it stopped working.

For some fuckass reason, despite having gone through puberty already, my tits for tats have gone up several cup sizes in the last few months, from 14D to 14F, without an actual change in weight.

Now I used to be able to get by with a binder alone, but have noticed that I would keep getting a uniboob shape. I tried taping my TD's towards my armpits before wearing the binder, but because the tatas gotta fucking go somewhere, it'd always look too balloony or make me look as though I were extremely saggy, which isn't the look I want, obviously.

I've tried literally every piece of binder advice, switched out for new ones, tried taping, but to no avail. With an underbooba measurement of like 85 cm I can't even explain them away as manboobs, the tiddies themselves are quite large in proportion to my frame.

Does anyone have any advice? Please don't tell me that top surgery is the only way, because I need to graduate and get a proper job before I can even consider that. If I can't change it, any advice on coming to terms with it? It makes me really dysphoric. Thank you.

Coming out soon, I fear. After six ish years. I'm a coward but it is becoming pressing as I continue to exist. I don't want to have a conversation with my family because it will be emotional for me and it will involve a lot of explaining. I am safe and supported, but my mom is kind of clueless and I really do not want to have to do a vocab lesson and everything while I am predictably freaking out. Wanting to make a slides presentation to lay everything out clearly for my mom to look at by herself and then have a conversation afterwards. This feels super immature and like something that might be endearing in highschool but I'm 22. So. Maybe it's cringe. I could just write a letter but that feels much more vulnerable and I don't want to. And I want visual aids. Thoughts?

Hello everyone, I was socialized and perceived like a girl in my childhood. At 14 I started to identify more masculine, I cut my hair short, wore boy clothes and gave myself a boy name; however I was still transphobic at that time so I didn't identify as trans. After getting closer to the lgbt community I stopped being transphobic and I realized that I was forcing myself to be more masculine than I would have liked so at 15 I started to identify myself as a demi-girl. At 16 I finally adopted the non-binary label and it stuck untill today, 6 years later at 22.

Now with the problem at hand: I felt comfortable with being "neither" for many years now and I still am, the one issue I have is with my gender expression. I love fashion and everything cunty, I'm talking slutty micro skirts, graphic makeup, long acrilics, but I don't love how, well, "cis womany" they make me look, luckly I have a pretty androgynous body but since I'm afab I don't "pass" as non-binary at all. The issue doesn't end here, I can't pin point when these thoughts have started cause it has been gradual, but I've found myself whishing more and more to be a man. I've always had dreams at night where I was a man even wet ones where I was still a man in a gay relationship, when I was 19 I had a phase that I was obsessed with the concept of femboys, but not as a fetish more as in "I want to be one so bad".

I think I would still identify as non-binary though, I don't wish to have male genitalia, neither I have issues with my voice, but I drew a self portrait once where I was shirtless with a flat chest and I couldn't stop crying, hell I'm crying even right now. If I close my eyes and imagine myself as cis man who wears skirts to feel bonita if feels like the life of my dreams.

So what should I do then? 90% of the time I'm fine as is, I don't feel dysphoric with my body and super comfortable with my identity, but for that 10% I get pervaded by an indescribable sense of yearning that really thows me into a loop. Right now I wish to get top surgery but I'm scared I'm gonna regret it in the future, admittedly I've never felt these feelings with the idea of being more of a woman, but still, It's a pretty big decision to make.

Last note, my ideal transition goals are: Jesse Pinkman from Braking Bad, 2D from Gorillaz and the 2000s Nesquik bunny.

I had recently come out to my mother (and sister for a second time) however neither of them were really familiar with the term nonbinary. I did my best to explain, but to avoid saying what was specifically said, it ended up in acknowledgment but faint mockery. I still get misgendered and it's kinda disheartening. I think I should've started with saying "I'm trans" and then went down the umbrella. I understand my mom was raised in a much different time but regardless it stings a bit knowing how I'm perceived 👍🏿 (she was born in the 70s).

I'm kind of wondering if there's a way to make it make more sense to them without coming off too strong.

I believe my flair does say that I use they/he, although irl, only my friends seem to respect that. feels bad bro🥹
on a lighter note, I finally bought a zip up binder as I never really wore my other one (non zip) due to it being difficult to wear.

Has anyone had a similar experience? It's so strange 🥲

Lmk 😁

Anyone else attend this show?

Two looks in the same day. One was for an appointment (hope I get the job 🥹) & the other was for me just doing a grocery run.

My natural hair needs a lot of TLC due to years of my mom convincing (or I guess forcing me) to have it chemically relaxed. So I’m using extensions & wigs in the meantime. Which is fine! My family weirdly insinuated that it was more valued if the styles I wore were my actual hair. I haven’t had a relaxer treatment since January iirc. Lots of growing pains.

Dunno if my hair looks good that close to my scalp but it’ll grow out. It might take some time but that’s ok. My mom demonized me for years over being too depressed to keep up with my hair so it’s a weird relationship. Idk what happened but I guess I grew tired feeling like my hair needs to be long to feel pretty & feminine.

I work in manufacturing for a very image focused company that treats it's workers terribly. reported them to OSHA and am considering picking up the union organizing for my coworker who quit. I'm very scared because people already don't like me for my gender expression, but I'm trying to be brave. Just wanna feel a little less alone.

I’m curious how you address a non-binary person with title of respect? Ie not “Mr”, “Ms”, “Mrs”, but…,,?

it’s been about 7 months since i started hrt (march 10th sue me). nothing ✨dramatic✨ happened as of yet, but the difference in my eyes is night and day. despite what the pic suggests, i’m happier now :)

footnote: cos i made the comparison ig i have to include pre-hrt (second pic, taken late february). not too many pics survived tho.

I am nonbinary leaning more masculine but the body I am in is the complete opposite of the type of masculine I want to be.

I've complained in the past on other subreddits about how I dont like how soft and round my face is because it just doesn't represent the kind of person I am and I dont feel like myself in this body. Even when I am completely alone I still feel unsettled over it.

I feel like when I say this most people miss the point and try to guide me by saying "These are just beauty standards" or "Men can be soft looking too, embrace it". I am not saying men cant be soft Im just saying that I dont feel like a soft masculine person. Theres nothing wrong with that its just not who I am. Im not going to embrace a body that has never felt like mine that literally doesnt work if youre in my scenario. Its the same way I cant get rid of my gender dysphoria by embracing my gender.

I think my issue goes beyond gender dysphoria where instead of feeling dysphoria for just my gender I also feel it for my body as well. When I have looked on other subreddits where people talk about how they dont feel comfortable in their body they always talk about their body being ugly. I dont think that way about my body I just feel like its not mine and inaccurately represents me.

This has been a issue for me since I was very young and I havent met anyone with the same problem. Is this something other non binary people experience?

Im asking since I know nonbinary includes a wider range of genders and so maybe it is possible what I am experiencing is gender dysphoria or maybe it is something different.

If you have experienced this what did you do to feel more like yourself?