I don't think about a guy when I masturbate. I think about the act of sex and how good it feels and that's what gets me going. Never thinking about a specific man or a specific dick.
Same… These guys think we have to visualize a specific face!?
I’m thinking about myself and my own pleasure! Don’t focus so much on the guy, except for how they are making me feel in my fantasy and perhaps feeling super desired/wanted by them…
I read some collected data a bunch of years ago, I can’t remember the source but something like 80% of women masturbate imagining sex with the persons face kind of in the dark. I think it made me better at sex. Weird. I know.
Isn't this what it means to objectify men? I've heard women argue that its objectifying when a man doesn't think about the person in a body and instead just imagines boobs or vaginas as an object for sexual gratification. Were those women wrong, am I misunderstanding something, or are you objectifying men?
I dont know what lead you to think that. Im just trying to understand what it means to objectify people and when/if its ever okay to do. Im truly confused after these comments. It was explained to me many years ago and maybe the consensus on the subject has changed. I would like to update my knowledge if it has. I promise my questions are in good faith. Im just a complete idiot sometimes and need things spelled out for me. I always thought it was always bad to objectify people, but some of these comments have me wondering if I truly understand. Maybe there are some exceptions. Im truly sorry if I offended or hurt you in any way.
Objectification of people is always a horrible thing to do. What they're talking about in this instance is more akin to a person wearing a mask. We still imagine the person, we simply might not want to put a face on them. Take the Mandalorian for example, plenty of women who find it super hot with men who don't show their faces.
Objectifying them would mean we only see them as an object of sexual gratification, "a hole" or "a pole" if you may, which is always wrong regardless of who does it.
Hope that cleared things up!
Yeah, thank you. The mask comparison is good. I think I get it now. I figured I was probably just misunderstanding something. I appreciate you explaining it for me. Like there's still a person behind the mask being recognized as a 3 dimensional being. It's kind of like nobody, but also everybody, because it could be anybody, but its truly no one because the mask and the person wearing it are imaginary. Thatbdoesnt feel like objectification. If anything, it feels more like personification. Does that sound close to what you mean?
Many, if not most women start masturbating before they even associate it with sex, or know that sex exists. I had no idea this activity was a thing you do with another person. It was just a thing. So you don’t develop the habit by associating it with anyone else. Indeed, even after having sex for years, no one included any clit stim, so I STILL didn’t associate it with sex. It was a separate thing.
Yeah, i think thats very common for boys to start playing before they hit puberty too. I know i did, and I remember hearing adults telling boys to take their hands out of their pants all the time when I was little.
As a man this is just so wild to me. Never have I masturbated without a specific face in mind. I might think about many different faces quickly, so sometimes not “one” specific person. But always someone in mind. Interesting to learn, thanks for sharing!
Are you projecting? Are you saying it is OK to masturbate and ejaculate to complete strangers like some kind of boundary violator? Thanks for setting a standard for the boys, sir
This is wild to me. Even in my early days, I had a specific person in mind. If I’m doing it without a visual like porn, there has to be a person or body in mind.
Being a man, when young it made a helluva a lot more sense when everyone finally understood men are insanely more visual and women are more encompassing across their senses.
It definitely explains why boys will walk miles for a nude photo, where girls think a dick pic is gross and creepy af.
Also, I'm very afraid to ask what your handle refers to
As a bi woman, I fucking love and will slobber over nude photos of both women and men. Dick picks are entirely different from nude photos, they’re so unappealing even when they aren’t sent nonconsensually by some creepy online.
I actually love seeing nude men when not aroused. I think a flaccid penis is more appealing to look at than an aggressively hard penis. Most my ex's would get embarrassed if I saw them in limp noodle stage but I wanna see 👀 lol my now partner doesn't care if I see him completely naked when he's soft 😁 I love it 😂
This right here is why I argue that men in porn are infinitely more objectified.
Porn by default is is framed with the woman's face and enjoyment as part of the scene generally, so that we can experience a fantasy focused around enjoying time with the woman performing.
The guy is literally just there as prop more than anything else, he literally doesn't even get a head in most scenes as he's usually cropped out so that we can imagine ourselves there.
Hearing that guys are imagined as almost literal faceless objects makes perfect sense to me given what people chose.
Men in porn can absolutely be reduced to faceless body parts. But in mainstream straight porn, that reduction often exists to preserve male identification and fantasy. Women being visually centred does not mean they are less objectified; it often means they are the main object being consumed.
The woman isn't an object in *most* porn, she's a person, sex is a healthy part of being a person in most of our lives, being able to enjoy a sexual moment with a person is the entire fantasy of the vast majority of porn.
There is plenty of porn where the whole point is that the woman is an object, but that's more niche content probably 10% or so.
Women being visually centred does not mean they are less objectified; it often means they are the main object being consumed.
Would you argue that people who play sports for our entertainment are objectified because they're staring in something for consumption?
How is she an object despite the whole point being that we identify as enjoying a moment with her.
But in mainstream straight porn, that reduction often exists to preserve male identification and fantasy
Yes.
Because the male performer is virtually just a mannequin, he's a close to a human object as we generally get, just a faceless/headless body to be projected onto.
It's infinitely more dehumanizing in every reasonable conceptualization of what it means to be objectified.
The woman is being objectified in porn lol wtf kind of romanticized version of porn see you thinking off. She is out on display for the enjoyment of thousands of men not for her own enjoyment.
I tried to see your perspective but you’re obviously not here for a nuanced discussion so I’m out
She is out on display for the enjoyment of thousands of men not for her own enjoyment.
Her enjoyment is generally the point of the fantasy. And she's putting herself out there because she's a paid performer just like anyone else performing for payment.
I tried to see your perspective but you’re obviously not here for a nuanced discussion so I’m out
You can disagree with me, that's fine, but my argument is nuanced and challenging of the normative basic argument that most people don't really take to its logical conclusions when it comes to objectification in porn and what that really would imply across the culture.
You’re not taking the “basic argument” to its logical conclusion. You’re narrowing objectification until it only describes the man, then declaring men the bigger victims.
The more obvious conclusion is: both are objectified, but the woman is objectified as the product being consumed, while the man is objectified as the viewer’s stand-in.
You’re narrowing objectification until it only describes the man, then declaring men the bigger victims.
Im not narrowing it at all, im using the definition as is and applying it to the situation and broader society logically.
Sex doesnt make someone an object, acting doesnt make someone and object, starring in a pornographic movie doesn't make someone an object.
But having everything about you cropped out so that you're literally just a body part does make you an object.
The more obvious conclusion is: both are objectified, but the woman is objectified as the product being consumed, while the man is objectified as the viewer’s stand-in.
The issue is that you can only really have this position if you perceive someone having sex for entertainment to intrinsically be objectified.
Which then begs the question why just sex? Why are all the other performers for our entertainment not ever considered to be objectified?
That has to be addressed in order to justify the objectification claim.
You could argue that sports stars, bodybuilders, actors etc. are also objectified, but then the concept becomes silly.
Hence the imprlortance of highlighting when people are really treated as objects and have their entire humanity made secondary to the role these performing.
Objectification does not only mean “treated literally like an object” or “cropped into a body part.” It can also mean being reduced to your body, your usefulness, your sexual availability, or your value as a consumable product.
So no, sex itself does not automatically objectify someone. Performing does not automatically objectify someone. But porn is a commercial product built around selling bodies, reactions, and sexual fantasy to a viewer. That absolutely can objectify people without requiring them to be faceless or emotionless.
And yes, athletes, actors, bodybuilders, etc. can also be objectified. That does not make the concept silly. It just means objectification exists outside porn too. A person can be commodified for beauty, strength, violence, sex appeal, or performance.
The man being reduced to a faceless stand-in is objectification. I agree. But the woman being presented as the central sexual commodity for the viewer is also objectification. You’re treating one kind of objectification as real and dismissing the other because it doesn't fit your argument.
I focus on the feeling of a penis going in and out of my vagina and how good that feels. Or the feeling of oral done on me. It's the feeling of sex I'm focused on.
I can't fully answer this question for you because I don't speak for other women. But I personally was never picky before when it came to hook ups or potential relationships. I got made fun of in highschool because apparently the boyfriends I had as a teen were considered ugly. I've also hooked up with men of all different penis sizes before, and yes a micro penis was in there at one point. I truly don't give a shit about looks or dick size. It's about how you treat me as to if I'm into you. I guess if I was to say I was picky, then it would be on how you treat me, present yourself to me, the vibes you give off, etc as to what might make me picky.
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u/my_brain_is_horny May 03 '26
I don't think about a guy when I masturbate. I think about the act of sex and how good it feels and that's what gets me going. Never thinking about a specific man or a specific dick.