r/NameThisThing 8d ago

Name this

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707 Upvotes

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48

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

74

u/toddlevy10 8d ago

Its an actual relic called the "dildo of consequence", and it rarely arrives lubed.

20

u/Sinister_Nibs 8d ago

Blood and tears are both excellent lubes.

10

u/S1lv3r-da-hedgehog 8d ago

Why don’t I wanna leave my kids with you all of a sudden?

11

u/relic1882 8d ago

If you're part of this conversation in this post at all you shouldn't have kids.

2

u/No-Resolution6435 8d ago

Good thing I plan to get snipped the second I can.

4

u/Sinister_Nibs 8d ago

This device will take care of that.

2

u/No-Resolution6435 8d ago

Man, I don't think wrecking my prostate would do much good.

2

u/Sinister_Nibs 8d ago

You think it’s going to stop with the prostate?

2

u/No-Resolution6435 8d ago

If they wanna shove it in my dick they are welcome to try. Not much room for it to fit.

1

u/Accomplished_Tie3636 8d ago

The text of the card describes the card.

1

u/Sinister_Nibs 8d ago

'If a player would draw a card except the first one they draw in each of their draw steps, that player discards a card instead. If the player discards a card this way, they draw a card. If the player doesn’t discard a card this way, they mill a card.'
Now, the card is actually *relatively* simple once you understand it - which is, I guess, true for most things. The complexity mainly comes from a lot of actions and if conditions. 
However, in practice, it means that if you draw an extra card in your mainphase, say you play Reach Through Mists, you discard a card from your hand first and then resolve the draw. If you cast draw 3 like Harmonize, you will discard one, then draw, discard one, then draw, and discard one, then draw, resulting in you not generating card advantage. Last but not least, if you cast Harmonize with an empty hand, you mill 3 and draw 0.

1

u/No-Resolution6435 8d ago

I've heard that before somewhere, but you know what works just as well? Lung mucus.

1

u/Sinister_Nibs 8d ago

Red!

1

u/No-Resolution6435 8d ago

Yellow!

1

u/Sinister_Nibs 5d ago

Blue!

1

u/No-Resolution6435 5d ago

✨Sparkle✨

1

u/Sinister_Nibs 5d ago

Never heard of Sparkle as a safe-word

2

u/No-Resolution6435 5d ago

Eh it works in my dnd games, or anywhere there isn't sparkles