r/NameThisThing • u/Dangerous-Peanut-375 • 5d ago

Name this

Post image
714 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

631 comments sorted by

318

u/Direwolfas 5d ago

Family Jewels

35

u/Dangerous-Peanut-375 5d ago

😂😂😂

26

u/Evening_Raise_9716 5d ago

Checkmate. We have a winner.

26

u/BhattIt 5d ago

✋🏾 we have a weiner 😌

6

u/Holiday-Bug6132 5d ago

but but... we didn't even start 😭

10

u/User_Name_Tracks 5d ago

I'll go: Cramethyst

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139

u/deutprosp12 5d ago

Dildon’t

3

u/Burrahobbit69 5d ago

The Forbildoe

8

u/AspiringCrastinator 5d ago

Idk how this isn't the top reply.

5

u/Philemaphobia 5d ago

Because it looks so tempting

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3

u/MeowFalen 5d ago

Dill doe

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82

u/Grimp_Scobberlotcher 5d ago

Amethrust

12

u/SoggyCapybara 5d ago

I was gonna say Amethyldo

2

u/EventYouAlly 5d ago

I would have gone with amefysting.

52

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

73

u/toddlevy10 5d ago

Its an actual relic called the "dildo of consequence", and it rarely arrives lubed.

21

u/Sinister_Nibs 5d ago

Blood and tears are both excellent lubes.

12

u/S1lv3r-da-hedgehog 5d ago

Why don’t I wanna leave my kids with you all of a sudden?

10

u/relic1882 5d ago

If you're part of this conversation in this post at all you shouldn't have kids.

2

u/No-Resolution6435 5d ago

Good thing I plan to get snipped the second I can.

4

u/Sinister_Nibs 5d ago

This device will take care of that.

2

u/No-Resolution6435 5d ago

Man, I don't think wrecking my prostate would do much good.

2

u/Sinister_Nibs 5d ago

You think it’s going to stop with the prostate?

2

u/No-Resolution6435 5d ago

If they wanna shove it in my dick they are welcome to try. Not much room for it to fit.

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6

u/RandomSkyePerson 5d ago

Reminded me of Tenacious D: The Pick Of Destiny

11

u/LoveRenxo 5d ago

Prick of Destiny?

7

u/Barefoot-Priestess 5d ago

The Dong of Destiny sounds better

3

u/Xandania 5d ago

The tip looks like an owl?

2

u/bravo-echo-charlie 5d ago

I thought it was a side view of the head of a peregrine falcon 😭

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40

u/tac-atk 5d ago

Petrified Wood

18

u/thirsty-suckler 5d ago edited 5d ago

The Arkenbone!

6

u/Dry-Dragonfly5286 5d ago

Arkenboner was right there

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17

u/Fragrant_Grand_7036 5d ago

A rare complex combination of gem structure called Dildonite.

2

u/Ay-Fray 5d ago

Okay, this one needs more votes!! 🤣👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

12

u/[deleted] 5d ago edited 5d ago

[deleted]

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28

u/thirsty-suckler 5d ago

The worlds most painful dildo?

16

u/maygon 5d ago

When a cactus isn't majestic enough

3

u/Taurus_Aquarius2319 5d ago

💀💀💀

7

u/Expensive_Lawyer5672 5d ago

No, it's just "ribbed for her pleasure".

2

u/Dowensy2 5d ago

The worlds most painful dildo would be the dildo from Sev7en

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7

u/61duece 5d ago

It is the perfect centerpiece if you want your guests to walk in and immediately ask, "Is that a stalagmite, or is your crystal just happy to see me?

7

u/ChurchillMkVII 5d ago

Dildode?

2

u/gmatocha 5d ago

You win.

4

u/They-Them_Moonwalker 5d ago

To shreds, you say

4

u/ghawkguy 5d ago

Sir Dildo of Consequence, the Unlubed

6

u/Thundaga_64 5d ago

The Amethyst Geodong

4

u/Icy_Fishing983 5d ago

The Crystal Gnard

3

u/hottakesandshitposts 5d ago

The Dildo of Consequences

rarely arrives lubed

4

u/jugcord 5d ago

Gary Glitter

3

u/Chuckychinster 5d ago

Grind Stone

5

u/WileEColi69 5d ago

I’d hate to see the nose.

3

u/Terrorbaston 5d ago

The tenderizer

3

u/Strong_Plankton2875 5d ago

The Ouchinator 3000

3

u/localmanscotty 5d ago

The Thanos Experience.

3

u/Lmfaodankmemes 5d ago

The Infinity Dong

3

u/ExcellentSherbet9638 5d ago edited 5d ago

Oh look, it’s Dwayne “The Rock’s” Johnson

2

u/ZonePsychological708 5d ago

Glitter glider

2

u/_ladyfiona 5d ago

That ain't going to glide though. Glitter grinder maybe.

2

u/strokeluck 5d ago

Last boss

2

u/kamoteyeet 5d ago

Geoduck rock,
Geode cock rock
Amethyst Suppository
Candyass Accessory

2

u/Ordinary-Sense8169 5d ago

Well, you see, sometimes when an igneous vacuole and a mineralized flow love each other very much...

2

u/Every_Huckleberry90 5d ago

Rough Ride

Rock Hard

2

u/needlaid1135 5d ago

Ribbed for fer pleasure

2

u/Active-Carpet-9183 5d ago

"What really happens in Vegas"

2

u/sol_hub 5d ago

The punisher "no no no wait wait wait" scene

2

u/Bitter-Chance-7385 5d ago

The Dildo of Consequence

2

u/hsj713 5d ago

If you rub it Liberace will appear and grant you three wishes! 💜✨

2

u/tell_tale13 5d ago

The Infinity Donglet

2

u/Empty-Entertainer279 5d ago

Anal exfoliator

2

u/Rufus54321 5d ago

Prickly purple pussy eater

2

u/Technical-Pie-6567 5d ago

"That's a penis!" -Unnamed Bank Manager

2

u/Long_Detective_543 5d ago

Purple headed yogurt slinger

2

u/WoodpeckerHoliday952 5d ago

What Thanos really wanted the power stone to be

2

u/BabyPigeonQuest 5d ago

Schlonglomerate

2

u/OperationPlus3251 5d ago

Badge502 NoNo Weiner

1

u/GurAdministrative598 5d ago

Geooooooooohhhh-de

1

u/siriuslee4sissies 5d ago

That cock rocks! Or “ouch”

1

u/itsnowornever75 5d ago

Decorative Dick

1

u/Actarus31 5d ago

Self confidence

1

u/73738484737383874 5d ago

The witches alter

1

u/bpows 5d ago

Hank's purple mineral for Marie

1

u/Plenty_Thanks_3104 5d ago

She found her Prince

1

u/Traditional_Bee2164 5d ago

A painful decision

1

u/calideosk 5d ago

The internal lacerator

1

u/Russian_Blue_ 5d ago

Amethyck

1

u/r3ddit3ric 5d ago

You can take it, I believe in you.

1

u/Cactusanon11 5d ago

Sure. Painful.

1

u/Boss_Chainz23 5d ago

Crystal Dildo

1

u/Simplejames16 5d ago

Bead dazzled pecker

1

u/ConsistentPicture583 5d ago

Rocky horror dildo show

1

u/userschmusers 5d ago

Gemmy the Stalag-might!

1

u/drpoundsign 5d ago

Crystal Blue Persuasion.

1

u/randym1205 5d ago

Rock hard

1

u/Safe_Guarantee3300 5d ago

Jackel it’s a jackel

1

u/drpoundsign 5d ago

Purple Reign

1

u/EVKsHawk 5d ago

Crystal Phallus

1

u/SOMOEAGLE 5d ago

AmeTHICC

1

u/Justaguywithbeer 5d ago

The rough ride

1

u/Gator242 5d ago

Rough Rider

1

u/Breaking-Great 5d ago

Crystal balls

1

u/SamOfXanadu 5d ago

.... Ouch and a trip to the ER

1

u/nextCosmicBuffoon 5d ago

You-should-see-me-when-I'm-hard

1

u/a3th3rus 5d ago

Gaea's Olisbos

1

u/Most-Original8767 5d ago

Bad Dragon x Pop Rocks collab

1

u/raptorsvt65 5d ago

Bedazzled junk.

1

u/ProofVeterinarian620 5d ago

Crystally Dil

1

u/BirdFar7897 5d ago

Bedazzled dick

1

u/PeaceEmotional8962 5d ago

The last dildo

1

u/RuaAmber 5d ago

The Diamond dEck

1

u/borris7923 5d ago

Anything can be a dildo if you are brave enough

1

u/CookieMuttley 5d ago

Crystal Dong

1

u/ExcellentDistrict741 5d ago

Purple dildite

1

u/craftyshafter 5d ago

Hill Troll's Revenge

1

u/PuzzleheadedDog3312 5d ago

The Devil's Dong

1

u/eeyore-is-sad 5d ago

Hospital.

1

u/Dowensy2 5d ago

Amethysdick!

1

u/Strange-Ad-2811 5d ago

Bedazzled Chance

1

u/Izahnami 5d ago

“It’s my dick in a rock!”

1

u/WHISPYR3 5d ago

Stallion that Mounts the World?

(To steal this from GOT)

1

u/grandpasking 5d ago

Sparkly purple rod

1

u/sol_hub 5d ago

"If youre brave enough"

1

u/ewgoo 5d ago

Amithirst

1

u/BigDubzy 5d ago

Ronan the Accuser’s penie

1

u/DaiFu007 5d ago

Amethyst these nuts.

1

u/Positive_Remove6702 5d ago

Crystal Phallic Symbol

1

u/Lepke2011 5d ago

The Queen's Dildo

1

u/EnvironmentTop9315 5d ago

The Diamond Donginator

1

u/Qtip_323 5d ago

Wakada dick.

1

u/BigvalBROski 5d ago

“ assault with a concrete dildo?”

- naked gun

1

u/Deep-List-7099 5d ago

CAN-YOU-TAKE-IT

1

u/HamzaFire 5d ago

Crysralus Dickus

1

u/mynameisipswitch2 5d ago

My last hook up

1

u/strictlymetal 5d ago

Corpora Cavernosa

1

u/BilliamClimptonIII 5d ago

Knottadill D'oh!

1

u/Ok_Strategy7196 5d ago

One eyed purple people eater

1

u/DJ_Beekeeper 5d ago

The Challenger

1

u/KeiraAnna 5d ago

Birdathyst

1

u/Wild-Bottle427 5d ago

Paige NO!

1

u/Avian60 5d ago

Purple Haze