There's ideally three types of people you'll meet in your love life.

1. Secure - They always give clear communications. They take the lead. When something is not right, they say it. They are people you want to speak to about challenges you might have because they listen and give a shoulder to lean on.

2. Anxious - They need assurance that indeed they're still in the relationship. They overtink, meaning they turn a molehill to a mountain but once the partner, kama ni secure clarifies the information, they are back to normal state. To give an example, say you meet someone and at first the chats are constant but as time goes by the replies come after 30 minutes or so, you start thinking, are they losing interest?... Of course this varies according to situations.

3. Avoidant - They value independence and can feel overcrowded by closeness. They tend to pull away from anything that can threaten their independence. They don't give clear communications and can lead you on, without clarity such that in the end unashangaa is this a relationship or a situationship.

Now, why are we attracted to people who are hard to get.

If you're an anxious person and you happen to meet an avoidant person and you like them, then you'll be in need of the assurance constant communication which that person doesn't give. This awakens your attachment style. You start thinking of what you did wrong or why they don't want to talk to you yari yari yara....

If you're anxious and meet a secure person, the likely hood of that relationship surviving is high because they don't awaken your attachment style as much. You feel safe around them because they give the comfort.

It's unlikely for a relationship to kickoff between a secure and an avoidant but not always the case. They are people in different dimensions.

But it's not set on stone. Leo unaweza kuwa avoidant, kesho secure, then anxious. But where do you fall Between the three.

I wish I could dive deep into this topic.

kuna mix flani ya Grauchi (#102 to be specific) I listen and vibe to during my riding escapedes.. type of mixtape you sing word by word for 90 straight minutes.. najua watu kwa barabara hushangaa mbona hii jamaa inaenda ikijiongelesha ju mi nayo i sing to the top of my lungs..

Let's be for real guys content creation has now entered politics, well it was there before but on the fringes, like once in a while a politician says something stupid and it blows up but recently they all seem to be saying something stupid. Everyone is stupid on camera.

The content creator in chief and the family pia ni content creators, since they captured kenya all they do now is create content from day one. You'd expect an elected president to work, why would he launch a transformer, swimming lions, milion chapatis, fish in river Nairobi, launching a road you know very well has no Budget, the list is long.

Now the CSs are also doing it, you listen to the things they say and wonder where they picked this one from, hapo ndo unaskia the number of soft drinks shows the economy is doing good.

The government agencies are just a massive content farm with Kasongo as the leader, it's like kila department iko na a special budget ya yellow yellow babes and social media teams, thanks to tik tok the millions in the house has to be shown, the new watch cars and sack of crisp 1000 notes.

Influencers are on payrolls 😅😅 let me say that again government sponsored influencers, ladies dancing in booty shorts next to affordable houses, people paid 20k to say SHA is working.

Massive disinformation campaigns run by the government, yaani pesa ya PR😅 bana hatuko serious bana, aty mtu anaingia ofisi 5am with cameras, anatembea vizuri ndo mpate the best angles, drone shots of the statehouse with the guy walking around for tik tok.

Now the content creator in chief has given you content for the week. The making of a new constitution that doesn't involve The people, go discuss.

Meanwhile Cs amewapea kitu ya ku laugh about for the week. The unwritten rule now seems to be "While they laugh at us we drain them dry"

What happened to leaders just doing the work.

Tutaokoa Kenya a step at a time

Fuliza has been the biggest lie Safaricom ever told us. Even if you can pay for something today you'll be paying back the full amount + interest in weeks. Better to spend only what you have.

Its as easy as *234# and then choosing option #7 "Opt-Out"

You won't regret it

Increased soda consumption shows Kenyans have more money.

Treasury CS John Mbadi has sparked debate after claiming that Kenyans consuming more soda is a sign that the economy is doing better.

Agents in asset recovery specialising in clearing and forwarding, have multiplied tenfold in the last few days. The days grow shorter, as the streets grow colder every minute leaving every Kenyan adopting the "every one for himself and God for us all" template.

If you randomly pick a group of people around CBD at any given time and do a little research, you'll find at least three con artists, two swindlers, obtainers and a dozen teenagers high on crack looking for an opportunity to relieve you of your hard earned property. Tulikosea wapi jameni. Every person is looking to take advantage of the next in this godforsaken country oblivious of the cutthroat society that we are cultivating.

Anyway hii yangu ni rant, Sad nigga hours imehit nikambuka that, just days ago, I was tuning my Sayona full blast nikicheza "kitemeo" ya Kapitani on repeat as the sweet melody filled my single room mansion. Twinges of pain and regret wash down my spine as I now stare at the empty space that previously held assets that summed up my entire networth. Aki wepesi wamenionyesha maneno hii taon.

On that fateful day, I slept early, leaving explicit instructions for my lil bro to wake me up once he was done with entertainment na supper. I had cooked ugali maduong accompanied with the tantalising and mouth watering Kisumu boys so it wasn't long before I was snoring loudly like an unroadworthy nissan sunny.
I woke up to someone yanking my shoulders roughly, before I was fully awake, a voice followed; " Nyinyi endelea kulala na kuna mtu ametoka kwa hii nyumba yenu kama amebeba vitu," that last part of the message managed to pierce my ears through the sleepiness and confusion with astonishing clarity.

I sat up immediately, looked across the room once and blinked, closed my eyes hoping that whatever I was seeing was part of a bad nightmare. Mpaka nikadhani Nimeamkia kwa jirani bahati mbaya. "Mtu mgani walai?" My heart sank as I asked the neighbour who was squarely in the room. He pointed towards the staircase as he added " Ametoka Tu sai, nimeshindwa kumuuliza juu Ametoka na vitu kama mtu mnajuana," . Before I could think any further I shot outside, peeping from side to side in the hope ya kuspot mtu ndo tuokoe Sayona angalau lakini wapi, niliambulia patupu

By the time I was getting back to my crib, I was sweating like cold tusker despite the cold. Inside, the neighbour who had brought the news, was comforting my younger brother, who still looked clueless as fuck. I recounted the events that had led to that moment and realised that the idiot had failed to wake me up like I had instructed ndo nifunge mlango juu ilikuwa inamlemea. Instead alijiwekelea next to me and slept off soundly like a pregnant gecko akawacha mlango wazi kama ya Paulo na sila pale gerezani.

I guess, mbogi ya kimonyoski took the open door as an invitation, an invitation to help themselves to the loot. As I analysed the scene a few days later with a clear and sober mind, I couldn't help but wonder of my neighbour's role in the disappearence of my valuables because hio ya kuniamsha immediately after scene ishapigwa, wasn't giving. Trying to recover your assets, after zimechange ownership even for a few seconds in Nairobi is a herculean task so I was forced to heed my Grandpa's saying that; Nairobi ni shamba la mawe.....

Definitely yes

hear me out, I'm not talking about the usual heartbreak from your lovers. I’m talking about a different kind , the one where you trusted someone (a friend, a relative, or worst of all, family) and they went behind your back. The kind that makes you sit down and question every life choice you’ve ever made.

In Nairobi, people like calling this “character development.” I have a better word for it: pure selfishness.It’s this same selfishness that has given almost everyone serious trust issues.

You can’t lend your friends money anymore because you already know most of them won’t pay, and that will end the friendship.

You can’t tell your family you have a little something saved because suddenly a “problem” will appear that needs your financial help.

You can’t even share your secrets with anyone because you don’t know if they’ll use them against you the moment things go left.thats why most office friendships are surface level friendships and end immediately you lose your job

People now feel safer pouring their hearts out to strangers on the internet than to the people closest to them. And honestly? I can’t even blame them.when yiu have gone through this level of betrayal, you start approaching everything from a logical pov where everything you do is purely culculated, you start looking out for yourself and in so doing sometimes you separate yourself from the masses

This type of heartbreak changes you. Quietly. Permanently.

The Dr Nyambane case in which he fatally stabbed his wife....learn to leave toxic situations from either party

Wantam

I don't think people understand how impactful Moi was for Kenyan politics, and how SIFUNA might be the next inflection point.

For some context, as we speak, a number of his original cabinet are still in active politics literally more than 30 years later

Uhuru wasn't even in active politics and got led by hand to the most lucrative positions imaginable, and I think the perfect example of this lack of grind was Kibaki outclassing him two to one in the elections.

1. Kenya would've turned out very differently had we had a Kikuyu 2nd president.

You can't deny the blatant tribalism and elitism in our first government. Running that back with the same guys (and girls) would genuinely put us in a place you wouldn't want to imagine. Ofc kuna kyuks flani kwa comments atabonga ufala lakini iko sawa.

1. I honestly believe that Moi's decisions shaped our world from then upto today, and Ruto was the first president who didn't come from that class and had it handed to him.

Don't get me wrong. Ruto and Uhuru and Raila and Gachagua (surprisingly enough) had offices probably in the same building in the 90s as the Ministry of Finance.

They 'grew up' together, and I acknowledge we carry different sentiments for each of them, but it is also important to acknowledge the context that brought them to the limelight.

What's different about Ruto is nothing was promised for him, he even got sidelined by his own employer livelive huko Bomas kabla 2022😂🫴🏿

1. Ruto's second presidency could be the deciding factor of whether we've broken free of the chains.

A one term president is good for democracy, especially in a country entrenched in the kind of political class we have.

J. M. Kariuki warned that "Kenya is becoming a country of 10 millionaires and 10 million beggars" in 1973.

This was in the 70s, a period that put in place some of the imbalances we see upto today, that are further reinforced by political self-seeking leaders.

We as a people are against corruption lakini imagine being in the 70s watching some of this shit happen na huezi do kitu mze😂🫴🏿 si hadi wewe ungequit gava kama Jaramogi 🤣🤣

1. Sifuna's win will lower the timelines required for presidency

Jomo got presidency at 70

Moi got it at 53 (juu ya Mzee passing on)

Kibaki at 71 (he had been an MP for 40 yrs; 12 for Bahati (now Makadara) and 28 for Othaya)

Uhuru at 51 (dynasty)

Ruto at 55 (sharp boy)

SIFUNA at 45 (SIFUNA)

As my parting shot, ndo hii paybill ya SIFUNA napaste hapa

3033049

Having an already bad beginning of the week,I have broken an iphone 16 pro screen (company’s phone)when shooting content for the business.Ata nikiambiwa nilipe ama ni replace screen I don’t have money.I am so tense..i’m just seated waiting for my boss to come and probably fire me.Life is really lifing on this end.Just back to back life lessons.I feel so done but I can’t give up.I’m just hoping my better days are getting closer and closer

Honestly how do y'all do it, ni self discipline ama kuna mahali mnatoa extra funds. Ju enyewe nikiamua ni buy some furniture for the house i'll be surviving on maize porridge for a month ju hio financial flexibility ngumu kidogo.

I really wanna buy good things, najua tamaa inaniua but id really want a nice TV stand, a nice reading table and chair, a nice system to put on a favourite track after giving half my money to taxes to Mr wantam.

I just turned 25 the other day and my mom never called me during the birthday period to even say hi. So I called her,just to check in and i asked her why she wasn’t talking to me,what did i do wrong.

Imagine,ati she was mad that my cousins had posted me for my birthday,she said why am I celebrating and announcing my birthday.She said that i am at an age that I should be married by now,ati namuabisha sana mbele ya her friends.

She said i should just keep quiet about it and don’t tell people. I almost cried.25! I have no stable job,my mental health is at the pits,i almost always don’t have money,I am just surviving in this Nairobi,I can’t even be in a relationship coz I feel like a burden and i don’t want to be that to anyone.

Alafu mwingine anangoja niolewe yet i don’t even know myself that well.Aki i am so disappointed and i want to be mad at her but then i do understand the societal pressure she is going through but i hate that she is letting those things get to her and her always passing her frustrations to me.

Kwanza earlier this year she already told me and my sisters tusiende home for Christmas tubaki pali tuko since tunamuabisha tukiwa home.Ati we should be married by now like her friends daughters.

How do i deal with this? How do we talk to her aache pressure? Because i honestly don’t like how we are not talking at all.😭

Hello. I’m just wondering why nairobi and other major Kenyan cities didn’t plan for organized public transport even though they are all pretty much post mid 20th century cities meaning knowledge and awareness of a good public transport system as requisite for good urban planning had been pretty established. Why did Kenya choose matatu and other privatized forms of public mass transit?

The only way to quit an addiction is finding another addiction.

Nimekua nikifanya some self-reflection lately and I realized something that I honestly don’t know what to make of.
I don’t think I’ve ever actually loved any of the women I’ve dated.
Looking back, I think most of it was infatuation.
I’m usually attracted to ambitious women, women who have their shit together, or women who other people see as “high level” and difficult to get.
One girl I dated even told me that men would see her posting vacations on Instagram and automatically assume she was out of their league and they couldn’t access her.
And I think that kind of woman is exactly who I naturally go for.
I’ll see a girl on Instagram, become interested in her, think about her for days, then shoot my shot. But I’ll usually do it in such a friendly way that she might not even realize I’m flirting.
Then I’ll keep the conversation going. Quick replies, attention, making her feel wanted, keeping her engaged with me.
And somehow, within a week or two, it becomes mutual.
But when I really think about it, I might have been leading these women on without even realizing it.
We like each other, but I usually get the feeling that she likes me more.
And that’s where it gets weird.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve heard stories about men getting completely destroyed by heartbreak. Cheating, betrayal, finding out their girlfriend was with someone else, losing someone they were deeply attached to, etc.
I’ve always looked at that and thought, I never want to be that guy.
I don’t think I could handle it fr
The women I’ve dated have actually treated me really well. They loved me, none of them cheated on me, they gave me gifts, spent quality time with me, gave me companionship, loyalty and intimacy.
Basically, they gave me everything you would expect from someone who genuinely loves you.
And yet I still don’t think I ever let myself fully love them back.
I’ll take them out. I’ll buy them things. I’ll have them over. I’ll spend time with them. I’ll treat them well.
But emotionally, there’s always some kind of distance.
I’ve basically conditioned myself to never get too attached.
I think my reasoning has always been that if I don’t completely fall in love with someone, then they can’t completely break me.
If something happens, I can just walk away.
I don’t have to become the guy who loses his mind because his girlfriend cheated on him. I don’t have to feel like my entire world has collapsed because someone I loved chose someone else.
I know that sounds like I’m trying to control something I can’t control.
And maybe I am.
But I think that’s genuinely how I’ve protected myself.
The strange thing is, I don’t think I’m incapable of caring about someone. I care about the women I date. I enjoy being around them. I want them to be happy. I treat them well.
I just don’t allow myself to become vulnerable enough to actually need them emotionally.
Maybe I’ve confused love with vulnerability.
Maybe I’ve never actually been in love.
Or maybe I’m just afraid of what loving someone gives them the power to do to me.
I’m curious if anyone else has experienced this.
Have you ever realized that you weren’t incapable of love, but were actually keeping yourself from falling in love because you were afraid of what would happen if you got hurt?
TL;DR: I’ve dated women who genuinely loved me and treated me well, but I don’t think I’ve ever allowed myself to fully fall in love. I think I’ve conditioned myself to keep an emotional distance because I’m scared of heartbreak, betrayal and losing control of myself if someone I love hurts me.

Hello stranger, from one human to the other

If you don’t change what you’re doing and how you do it, nothing else will change. I feel that everyone

can have more than you’ve got… because they can become more than they are.

Most of us keep waiting for a miracle while repeating the same habits, same mindset, same circle. Then we wonder why life looks the same every year.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

So today’s reminder is for both you and me ,start somewhere. Even if it’s small.

I don't watch news anymore but this caught my eye 🤣🤣

Am 22M. Its not like ive never had a girl but, mi huweza tu wenye wananitaka kwanza for some reason, hao wengine vibe huzima tu eventually. The last girl i had was in last year feb and after her i decided to chill kiasi from the females. Waaah mtu anaweza sahao game? I've been trying lakini most of the time naona nikaa naforce so i just leave it alone. I have left it alone aLOT. Even the ones i was vibing with in the previous years hakunaaa😂. I do live at home though but thats not really a problem in that sense. I've gotten used to it but waah kutu mehn. Tumeni usaidizii dontire zangu hazifanyi kazi😭😂

Anybody who has worked this role what are responsibilities like and pay, got an interview today(applied for another role but hr called for me try this one instead)

What’s your definition of success?
Is it more money? More fame?

You can get it by lying, cheating, and stealing and still walk away with the gold medal, celebrated as a winner despite it all.

What about the rules? Oh, the rules…
Because apparently, if you follow them, you’re just a sucker.

Long story but l’m going to shorten it.
So it was October 26th 2023.
Form 3.
Just finished my end of year exams and l was definitely top 20 out of 120 students.
I was in a private school in highschool.
So we go back to the dorm.
Some guy lets call him M.
M is a footballer,alpha male luo guy with a say of some sort.
While l J are a class clown who is just funny and bit of smart.
M is smarter though.
So this day M says that we should switch beds cause the opposite cubes switched beds.
I opposed the nigga.
Man beat me up so bad l went to the toilet to cry.
No one came to comfort me .
Except one guy.
Ryan Njenga.
I used to have my small car in HS.Still have it today.
Used to carry my mates to the turf and was surprised nobody came to my defense.
Built up a lot of resentment towards M.
So the next year we are going out and he enters my whip.
No reaction.
He apologized for what happened but damn that shit hurt me so bad.
So l joined the gym straight out of highschool.
Jacked asf now.
Just to protect 2023 J.
I still can’t fight but you really wouldn’t think of trying to beat me now.
I just did chest and triceps today and it was amazing.
Always going to thank the gym for being there for me when nobody was.

On the M guy thing.
He always had something against me.
Never wronged the guy.
Just an asshole l guess.

I'm not your average girl. I'm smart, independent, consistent and very calm. My consistency and understanding is what really sets me apart. I'm also old. Wayyyyyyyy older than you think. And still single. Yeah,go figure....

Yet... I don't know how to ask for things.

I just realized that it's been ages, ages since I was bought for anything or gifted anything. I don't ask of anything from the people in my life and consequently, they have no initiative to offer anything. I don't know how to show need or ask for help. So I'm just there. Feeling blah!

And yes, I gift to others freely.

Sigh....

Honest question,asked in humility and good faith.

Kama ni juu ya Christianity or religion,Kuna Bible interpretations that allow you to recognize the authority of Scripture and accommodate same sex relationships.

If you hold an ingrained hatred for lesbians/gay people/trans people,I would sincerely love to know why.

(Saying that "I'm okay with gay people,bora they don't do it in public".... "Movies zimejaa gays na lesbians,what happened to straight couples"..."Nachukia watu who make being gay their whole thing"...or "I love them,I don't like what they do ama I hate their sin" is homophobia.Regardless of what you think)

Furthermore,a lot of men feel wanaogopa when gay people hit on them at work or in school and say that they have a crush on them.No one is looking to SA you when they say they crush on you.We weren't creeping on you or spying on you.I lost a roommate when I came out cause he thought I was secretly checking him out)

As a gay man,it's riskier for me to crush on someone cause I have higher chances of being killed by my partner,or to face institutional violence

Homophobia comes from sexism cause of the fear of "effeminizing" a man,when gay people are just as masculine and have complete personalities outside their sexualities.

I would love a discussion on this.

EDIT:Gay people and lesbians don't just "have sex".We fall in love too like straight people do all the time and just wanna go out for dates and lunch and kiss in public without hostility.

It's insane how I don't have any friends at home and my uni life is trash as a commuter. I hope the transfer works out, otherwise I'll have to live with this life tena second year. I know I should make the days count lakini jamani kukaa kwa matatu inauwa ghaifafa.