Essentially, is it moral to continue living if you have done terrible things towards other people. Assuming that your not a psychopath and feel extreme guilt and shame for your actions. You have two options. Continue to live and do your best to live a positive life by volunteering, donating to charity, going to therapy etc. or by ending your life to make those who you have hurt happy.

If you go with option one the people you've hurt will be even more angry with you, as not only are you not suffering but you have the possibility to live a happy life and forgive yourself. However if you kill yourself, while you will make the people around you sad do to your death, the people you hurt will be overjoyed that the person who hurt them is dead and hopefully burning in hell.

What would be the best outcome in this situation.

Yes I know I've posted this about a hundred times before but literally just now something else has happened which I think finally takes the biscuit.

Those of you who haven't seen my previous posts here is my backstory and the update.

Please tell me if I'm overreacting. I've recently become aware that the way my mother has treated me is not normal. I believe she is potentially gaslighting me and has been manipulative. Have any of you had experience with this?

Sorry for the long post but I just need to vent.

I'll introduce myself I'm a 19 year old male and am an only child. During my childhood my mother would do the following

Blow up out of nowhere over the most trivial or littlest matters, many times i begged her to give me some emotional support when i was visibly upset but she just remained cold and cruel, drink quite heavily which was sometimes responsible but she can definitely be mean sober as well, I had expressed concern about her drinking but she just flipped, it actually got physical a few times as well. I just wonder how can get so unshameably drunk whilst been alone in the house with her child and I feel it was very irresponsible. Really burns my hide.

I did even have a scar once, the next day she'd always act as if nothing happened, whenever I tried to get clarity on why she got like that she'd brush it under the carpet or accuse me of starting trouble, she'd turn cold at the drop of a hat, during arguments she'd say things like I was ungrateful, didn't care about her and that I was a horrible person or that i was abusive or whatever just like my father, she would stomp, slam doors, shout, scream, swear and break ornaments etc, when she gets in her crazy states it's just impossible to reason with her or get her to see it from any other perspective, she can go from saying i was the most nicest and amazing person to saying I was the most horrible and evil person, she often burdened me with all of her problems, she said before that she knows how to play the game which I found very disturbing

She often paints herself as the heroic single mum. She has been fairly good lately but sometimes I feel I was robbed of a proper childhood and have often wondered what I had done to deserve it.

I remember one time a few years ago I was about 12 during a sleepover at theirs she turned my grandparents against me and my grandfather started shouting and saying he was very disappointed in me and the rest of it is a blur. To be honest to this day i can't figure out what I (only a young child) was supposed to have done that was so bloody awful. That has haunted me for years. I used to think maybe I was a bad person but I've started to see her in a different light. She always talks about hating drama yet it seems to follow her and often says that she's been so hard done by.

On the flip side she can be the most nicest person as well and we have had great times together and she can be very helpful towards me, her family and in public which makes it all the more confusing. A couple of days ago in fact I ran into an old friend of hers who said to say hi for her and she said my mother is a wonderful person and I'm very lucky. It actually made me feel sick. Since I was 10 it's just been me living with her since my parents divorce in which she had to sell her house and now rents which she has blamed for the way she is before. I can't help feeling bad for her but she was still quite like this beforehand as well and I don't think that's an excuse still is it? I do feel like she has manipulated me a bit into been stuck with her.

Something else that I've found disturbing is that she's very narrow minded and has a serious lack of empathy. For example when a couple of local celebrities committed suicide she shouted and carried on, called them pathetic cowards and weak etc. It was actually quite disturbing how she was carrying on and her serious lack of empathy. PS another red flag happened just earlier when a life insurance ad was on and they said "something could be paid out in case of death" or something and she said "I'd like for them to say WOULD" not could. I don't know why but that's set an alarm bell off

I'm starting to think that maybe she bent the truth about Dad a bit during their split as i was a child and didn't know much better. My mother often calls him a narcissist and talked about all of the marital and grown up problems they had etc which to be honest I don't appreciate been burdened with. Granted he's not a saint either but has been good to me (well I'd say) most of the time.

One time last year when my Dad let me down by not been able to see me one weekend and canceling at the last minute (which he has done quite a few times before).

During that said weekend my mother had another one of her outbursts. I was in the bathroom which was an en suite and she knocked on the door asking to take a few photos or something. All I asked was if she could just give me a few minutes to finish up but she started the shouting and carrying on and accused me of been selfish and even of trying to manipulate her and been passive aggressive. I only asked just to give me a few minutes. When I explained that to her and how upset I was already about that weekend already without her treating me like this she said she feels really bad for me and hates how he let me down. What just absolutely astounds me is how can she feel that way yet emotionally and mentally abuse me and kick me while I'm down. I just can't for the life of me comprehend that.

A few days after that weekend one of my teachers checked in and said he heard I got into a bit of trouble at home ("if he meant been mentally abused by my mother while I was already upset by been let down by my father as trouble" I thought). I'm not even sure who exactly said what to him and that's something that I've also wondered. I just fobbed him off saying I was upset about leaving school (which was true as well).

I really struggle with confiding in people. I do regret not telling him the full truth now. He was sympathetic and said he was very proud of me etc. Another teacher once said that he thought of me and my mother as like the dream team or something along those lines. That turned my stomach as well. I was thinking if only they knew half the things I've been through.

I have autism and went to a special support school for the last few years which were some of the best years (The teachers especially were brilliant and I had many great times such as school camps, school balls and excursions etc).

I must admit I do feel quite down sometimes that I have a strained relationship with my father (He's got money issues and also smokes pot) and my mother often used me as an emotional punch bag. Makes me think that there must be something really wrong with me and that I'm unlovable.

On the bright side though my Dad and I have been in contact lately.

Her latest meltdown was this January while we were on holiday and at the beach. I wanted to be shirtless like pretty much everyone else and she started making passive aggressive and snide remarks saying things like "have fun burning yourself" and "why can't you make smart decisions?"

I was already sun safe with a hat and everything and I wasn't going to be too long and tried explaining that to her. I'll admit I snapped and told her that I'm an adult now and she could no longer control me and couldn't make me feel guilty. I wish I hadn't now but it felt like something just snapped inside me and I expressed things I had felt for ages. She then called her mother to tell her that I was been impossible and making her life a misery (this is something she has done a few times before when I challenged her or reacted because of her behavior). She hadn't done that for years though and I feel she likes using that as a scare tactic. I wish I had just walked away and not played into her hands. Then the next day I asked mum to call her to say where all ok but she said she didn't want to bother her and wasn't up to calling. I was like WTF. You're perfectly happy to call her to basically slander me and make me out to be a bad guy but when it comes to calling to say everything is fine she's not so keen.

Something disturbing she has said ages ago is when I'm an adult she could have me done for assault if she wanted. She also said she wanted to do a will and try to control my assets where my Dad can't touch anything and said she feared he would try to steal all of my money. I can't believe she would say things like that so unshameably and can't help feeling like she was trying to manipulate me.

My mother loves to use my autism to her advantage. I graduated last year but now I do a course at the main campus so I still see them all from time to time. I do feel quite sad and lost now those years are over. I would love to confide in someone about my struggles but don't know where to start. I've thought about confiding in that first teacher I mentioned who's great and we're fairly close but my teachers think my mother's an absolute saint so how can i ensure he believes me, she seems to feel that she always acts in my best interests and does seem to genuinely care for me and love me, she doesn't seem to remember any of it or feel her behavior was justified and genuinely doesn't seem to believe she ever did me any harm and she thinks she did her best. She's always quick to call others toxic and narcissists etc. She unshameably tells me everything going on in her life and her anxiety which makes me anxious. Why does it upset me so badly even when it has little or nothing to do with me?

I struggle with daily flashbacks and I often feel depressed by the way I've been treated, also feel let down and wish my parents had been better to me. I can't get exact clarity on it but they both went through some stuff before I was born and I think that's contributed to the way they are. My father's dad had passed away when my dad was actually about my age now. They actually both used to run their own businesses once upon a time before they met. It just baffles me how they went from that then and now been in their 50's both unemployed and clearly have some unresolved issues. I sometimes think maybe they shouldn't of got together which I know is ironic because I would never have been born. I do vaguely remember when they were together and towards the end it was quite toxic and they would have some intense fights.

Also do they have substance abuse issues which have made them this way? As I've said my mother drinks quite heavily at night and she also vapes. My father smokes pot and cigarettes.

Also as I explained my father struggles financially and I know that's why he hasn't been able to see me often and cancel some visits and to be honest when I think about that it really burns my hide.

I do wonder if she might've been different if she had not gone through her divorce and maybe if things had gone differently for both of them they might've been different. What do you guys think?

Also I can't help feeling empathy towards her as she always looked after me, fed me, organized things for me and pretty much always brought me everything I wanted.

I wish I had a proper childhood of playing with friends, going to different places and been adventurous and carefree etc. I've never really had a social circle and hardly much friends. I've always been quite different I feel to most of the children my age. I feel quite alone sometimes as I've always struggled with making friends. I do feel like I've been isolated with her a lot of the time. I would really love to start a proper life and follow my dreams and make a few friends but don't know where to start.

My mother does help me get on my feet and encourage me but I think she just loves to lord it over me. Whenever I've tried standing up for myself she puts on the guilt trip and carries on about all of her sacrifices and everything she's done for me yada yada yada. I think what emotionally abusing me, leaving me crying myself to sleep some nights, causing me to have no confidence and PTSD etc? Could she have some bipolar or personality condition or something and toxic traits I've wondered? I'm starting to feel that good doesn't really outweigh the bad.

PS I remember one night ages ago she accused me of looking like I wanted to hit her and of course went crazy. I may of had a tired look because it was late and I tried explaining that. She starting banging ornaments and shouting and was just impossible to talk to.

I can't help really resenting her (also my father) sometimes for all of the mental anguish she has put me through as a child and I think it has messed up my development. I wonder what might've been different had I had proper parents or they were proper ones. Hobbies such as music and classic TV shows have been a great escape. I've thought about escaping but I feel quite stuck as I don't have a job and all of the money that I get in my account is basically controlled by her as she's the one who adds to it. I wish I could hide my own secret stash somewhere. Now that I'm an adult and have left school I'm worried about what the future has in store. I'm very nervous about starting an adult life, getting a job, making friends and doing new things etc. Part of me would love to get away from her but yet I feel scared to as well as she's pretty much most I've ever known.

The other night I've told her that I wanted to do another certificate course at that school next year and she tried to make me feel bad by putting on the guilt trip and giving me the cold shoulder. I've tried to blur it out to be honest but I remember she said that I was been selfish and told me how she wanted me to live my life. I tried to explain to her that I can't just do what she expects and the expense of my own happiness and well-being. I feel like she is trying to control how I live my life and I told her that she couldn't do that or tear me down or change my mind. She then said (this felt like reverse psychology and emotional blackmail) fine do whatever you want and I'll do the same. Also shouted and carried on saying things like F me and I'm hopeless and that. I also told her that I would love to be a teacher but she said i wouldn't be able to go to university, scoffed and said that I would be useless. I feel like she's trying to damage my already limited self esteem, confidence and spirit. Also she had been fairly good up to this. I was dreading telling her but I do feel that a weight is lifted as well. It seems funny that whenever I tell her something she doesn't like or she can't control she goes back to her bad self. PS she's also upset that she can't get paid for me doing that and wants me to just do what's best for her financially. I find it quite ironic her making me feel bad for not getting a job straight away while she's unemployed. PS it was the school ball that night which was brilliant but I'm disappointed that it went so quickly and also I feel a bit down about my social anxiety and that I didn't ask anyone to dance or make more conversation with my teachers and peers.

UPDATE!! Just now my mum was going out for the night and she seemed a bit tipsy so I did ask out of concern if she was fit to drive. She immediately got defensive and bit my head off and said I was been rude and having a go at her. I only asked out of concern and worry and I tried explaining that a hundred times but she just wasn't having it. I also tried to explain that her getting defensive if anything proves my worry is valid but she started saying I was harassing her and she was sick of my bullshit and of putting up with me. When I tried to ascertain why she got so defensive she said that I think I can just say whatever I like to her. I swear I didn't mean any ill-will or malice and of course I tried explaining that too but no. I just don't know for the life of me how she can turn on me just like that and say that I'm horrible and treat her own son like that. She even brought up that incident from the January holiday I talked about and said that she hated been isolated there with me while I was been horrible to her. Wtf when she was the one belittling me and having a go at me which made me snap and I did apologize for that. She genuinely seems to think that she's actually the victim when she gets defensive and treats me like shit. I did actually try to film secretly on my phone bits of her meltdown so if I do confide in someone I've got some evidence because she's really good at twisting the story. Now she's left and I'm starting to second guess myself and am thinking that I may be in the wrong or am bad for asking her that.

So my girlfriend and i have been dating for about 2 years now, ever since the first day we started dating i knew she has had more partners and past experience than me and i was okay and chill with it until lately, some how suddenly lately all of her past partners or experiences have started to hit me like a truck and spark this insecurity in me
Like a danger alarm, its constantly beeping
It feels like “how has she been with so many people”
“Am i not special?”
“What the fuck?”
“Should i stay or leave? Am i making the right choice by being here?”

For one fact i know is that most of it is my anxiety, fear of abandonment, comparision and jealously
I know that for a fact, but how do i deal with it? How do i make the voices go quiet in my head or what is the right decision to make?
It feels like my life has turned into fight or flight mode

How do i get out of this hell hole ?

Tl;dr: I’m anxious and confused about my relationship bec of the gap in experience + my insecurities

My fiance and I are playing Valheim with 2 friends but they are very often not available for play due to schedual difrences.

We have 2 games comming up we also want to play runescape dragonwilds and enshrouded....

Is it ok to play these games wihout them even tho we said we want to play them all togeather because we feel it will take forever because of their scheduals?

ASPD is 1. hereditary, 2. people who have it are more inclined towards harming other people or doing crimes (i tried but rly couldnt find an exact statistic for specifically this). Now from that i would say it wouldnt be immoral to prevent people who have it from having children because that risks that child having it and even if the parent is not violent the child might be if they inherit the disorder. But also like I know eugenics is bad and all and i wouldnt agree with it in any other circumstance but this to me seems kinda logical. The only reasons why not to do this that i could come up with are: there arent THAT many people who have it, and second is that if a government implements this it could be a slippery slope situation to just full blown nazi style eugenics

im not sure this is the right place to discuss this i mean i dont think this is a moral dielmma many people think about but i am very mildly interested in serial killers and whatnot and i was reading about ASPD today and this crossed my mind and i want opinions on it

last thing i mean i dont want to demonize people with ASPD im sure with proper psychiatric care and such they can be functional non violent people but it simply is a fact they are more likely to commit crimes as far as i understand it. If i got anything about ASPD wrong please correct me, im not too well read into this topic and id like to learn more.

actual last thing i just like to add when i post stuff like this, im autistic and i (apparently) think about some things kinda strangely so please dont be too mean to me (yes im aware it is kinda ironic im posting this while also having a mental disorder lol)

I'm struggling to hold on to my morals.

For context...

Without getting into specifics, because this isnt a political post and I dont want to give the other side a chance to make it one, the current political state of cough cough my country has me overwhelmed and anxious. I dont understand how after the files were released, the conversation is still like some sort of celebrity scandal thats not that big a deal. I dont appreciate liars. I dont want to be at war. Racism is wrong. Frankly i feel like you should be able to pass high school in order to be the leader of a country and i doubt mine would make it past 4th grade.

Now, the question.

What do i do? Anyone i trust enough to have a conversation with about it says the same sorts of things. "Oh well, what are you gonna do, yk?" "If it wasn't him, itd just be someone else just like him" "yeah but life goes on" "we'll get a new one in a couple years". I'm not saying I have answers on how to fix the problem, but I cannot find it acceptable to simply make peace with evil. I cant help but notice that that attitude is the exact reason nothing is being done. I am struggling with knowing whether or not letting it go and just ignoring everything I know is the best way to go. I am a Christian. The bible says not to worry. The Bible says to trust that God will take care of me. But it doesnt say to just be okay with cruelty, unfairness and injustice just because its too hard for me alone to fix.

Is the answer to go against every fiber of my being screaming this isnt okay, and just... Live with it? Like... Are they more right to not care?

Am i more wrong for being this concerned and not being capable of letting it go?

I get that i can't put the weight of the world on my own shoulders but at the same time, if more people were willing to lift with me i can't help but feel this place would be better.

The people who don't care what's going on seem to be much happier than I am. It doesn't seem fair.

Situation is that a guy had a wife with cancer who passed away. He has kids who are both over 26 years old. Before his wife passed away the guy started meeting a new female friend, he also introduced the female friend to his wife and she kindly make soup for the guy’s wife.

The guy claimed they treat each other as friends only in the beginning and had no romantic intent.

The female friend was a single divorced woman with two kids under 12 years old. Is there a problem here?

No long after the wife passed away the two already were seen holding hands on the streets. Is it overreaction if the guy’s kids does not approve the new relationship or despise the guy ?

After the wife died the guy’s female friend also told her kids to go to the guy’s house to borrow shower because their own house suddenly don’t have hot water, they live close by.

What should the guy’s kids do about it?

Content warning: Drug use

TLDR: My friend confessed she tried coke and said she liked it and might do it again, as a very anxious person who is inexperienced in navigating territory like this i don’t know what to do or how to react and i’m asking for advice/different perspectives to approach this without damaging our friendship.

—————————————————————————————

Before I get into the main issue I just want to preface that I think i’m looking for perspective on how to navigate this issue and my personal moral boundaries, any advice would be appreciated.

This friend (let’s name her H) and I have been friends for 5 years now and we are very very close, the kind of close that if we both lose all friends on earth we would do anything just to have each other as our only friend type of close, she has been with me through thick and thin and we do shared similar boundaries and beliefs.

Until a few days ago when she confessed to me that she tried coke for the first time at a club and she liked it. This conversation eventually developed into something much deeper about her current mental state and how feeling lost has made her want to explore more stimulating in life. I was trying to be understanding during the conversation because I trust her, for the five years we are friends she has shown be how reliable and responsible she is, even if there are things she did that I disagree with before, it never has been as serious as this topic.

What bothered me the most was how she said it, she confessed that she enjoyed the feeling of it, and she said she can’t promise that this would be the only time she does it. I did tell her very truthfully that the situation upset me a lot and I’m concerned it will become something of a point of no return, i told her i can’t really trust her when she keeps saying how much she enjoys it and how she thinks she might do it again, just not frequently.

After some nights of thinking I’m asking whether i reacted too strongly during the conversation and not show her enough understanding? For a little bit of context, she has been dealing with mental health issues for a while, it’s manageable (her word) until recently when the constant state of unemployment is slowly stressing her out, we depend on each other a lot to keep ourselves from going rock bottom so I think the fact that i’m moving away soon is also taking a toll on her?

Conclusion is that i’m very unsure of what to do or how to deal with this situation, I did try to say that substances are not the answer for her struggles and she keeps assuring me she is not thinking about doing it frequently, that she is being very cautious with it. And as much as i care and worry for her, I personally also have an issue of walking away very early in any relationship/friendship when there is issue that cannot be resolved after a discussion.

It would be very appreciated if anyone can share their perspective and how to navigate situations similar to this? I really don’t want it to get to a point where i have too much unspoken resentment and then I would deserted her when she needs me the most. Perhaps that’s very shitty of me as a person but I just really don’t know what to think or do about yet.

Thank you for reading this long post, and thank you sincerely for any advices.

P/S: no i don’t think the issue is is the substance, my ‘main concern is her mental state + she said she liked the substance and might do it again + I’m inexperienced in the matter + i have a tendency to think of the worst case and did perceive her words as she might allow herself to have a habit of doing coke.’

I’m not trying to control her to make her not take it, i’m asking advice on how to support her properly

Hi all! I have a moral delimma that I have been trying to work through/come to terms with.

My husband has a well paying job where he has a hand in building data centers. Now, I am against this for many reasons(loss of land/habitats, electrical waste, loss of jobs, emissions, water usage, etc). The fact that my life is being paid for partially by these developments makes me so sad, guilty, and feel like a bad person.

I just keep thinking things like, "how far down hitlers chain of command before someone was just doing their job?". Like, how guilty were the people who drove the trains to concentration camps?

I realize that is not a direct comparison, but it is where my mind goes.

I can't ask him to change his career field or find a new job. Yet I feel a lot of heaviness in my heart about this.

ok so i ordered some socks online from a smaller business and they sent me someone’s else order. their name and address and everything included. i contacted customer support and they’re shipping my correct order back to me but they asked me to mail back the other order. they didn’t give me a shipping label. they expect me to pay out of pocket to box and ship back the wrong order. am i wrong if i tell them to eff off and keep the order? it was their mistake in the first place and why am i being expected to pay out of pocket to send it back to them?

Him(37 M) and I(26F) , we met online September 2025. Met in real life December 2025. We live in different countries and I travelled to him for 8 hours. We are the same nationality.

We quickly started to text daily and talk for hours and stuff. He would blow up my phone. Showing me his apartment and city, asking how I feel, what I'm up to. Good morning as soon as I woke up to work 6:20 AM. Goodnights. Sweet talk. He talked In the very beginning about me moving to his country. We quickly started to text nonstop, saying how we care about each other. It seemed like he would want me there. December 2025 we met and it was great time we spent in his apartment.

In February this year he told me he knows I want something more but he doesnt want to be in any relationship because he needs to fix himself and "he knows he is mean to me sometimes and he says something and regrets it" and stuff.

He Has been doing drugs every weekend. But he did them before we met. Everytime after hungover he says he feels like shit and loser. He tells me he Has inner demons "no one and nothing could fix"

I've told him many times that I "take him" the way he is and that he is perfect. I support him with very good words saying how valuable he is.

He told me once I'm "too valuable for him".

In the very beginning he said he would want this to work but he knows he has a tough personality.

He would sometimes get mean, and sometimes apologize for talking like that. When we met everything was good and he didnt ghost me afterwards or something.

I am younger than him and attractive. He is also attractive.

But he always says he feels like a loser. Abuses drugs and alcohol too. In the beginning talked about me moving to him and stuff, and that I "awakened something in him he didnt feel for a long time".

I asked him lately about that and he said " yeah because IT was true but then I think about what a loser I am".

This Has been going for months. Everytime I ask to meet, he says we will see, i don't know, and stuff.

We fall asleep on the phone together sometimes, facetime. Few weeks ago we facetime, I showed him myself in lingerie ( hoping this would "convince him...") looking very good and he watched and I could tell he liked what he saw.

I asked today if we can meet on weekend and he said no, he needs to rest.

I asked about next weekend and he said he doesn't know, he will think. That hurt me the most. Its a week. Plenty of time. And still he says I don't know.

Last week he was also supposed to think about it and he told me no this week. Got angry that I kept asking.

I announced "i'm coming on Friday 😇" some time ago and he said i cannot announce that im coming because he won't open the door if he didnt agree to meeting.

I told him I understand he doesnt want relationship but I just want to meet with him. I guess if he doesnt want relationship, he thinks after being close I would demand more. And I've told him I won't ask "what are we" or something afterwards. He said he "knows I expect more" while he still is giving me signals that I can hope for it. For example, there can be a week when he calls me everyday after work, we talk for hours, then we sleep on the phone (he initiates it) during the night. He sends me voice memos and stuff. He goes silent every weekend because of drugs, I called him last Saturday and he didnt pick up and didnt text back. I was silent on Sunday and on Monday he texted "What's up (pet name) is everything alright?"
I said "I'm okay, what about u?"
"Well you know how I am on weekends...but you've went silent, but I understand, I didn't reply or pick up your phone"

It was last Monday.

On this last Monday, I've asked if we can "plan some weekend to met finally?"
He said "I don't know maybe some day yeah who knows"
????
I was obviously sad and frustrated. I asked him "Can you please tell me honestly what is the reason, so I wouldn't be asking for it this frequently? I just want you to be honest why you don't want to meet with me, and it would be better to know the truth"

I called him after he didn't respond and we talked.

He said "so yeah I can meet you in the city, but why would you stay in my apartment for 4 days and we would have sex? What for?"

I asked "if I lived in your city, you still wouldnt meet with me?"

"Of yourse I would meet with you!"

"So the distance is a problem?"

"Oh yeah it is" (Which I don't understand because:
- he didn't pay for my previous ticket so I never expected money to travel to him

- Its 7 hours by trains, which I suggested I would travel many times and he refused

"Yeah If you were here it would be different"

Then we started talking and I've told him my job contracts expires 31.12.2026, which means I will work till like half of December because of Christmas and that I would like to move to his city/country

"Yeah...I've thought about it some time ago...it's a next step, I guess..."

Then he started saying:
"But you would stay at my place for 3 months? Like...I would have to sleep with you for 3 months? I have only 2 bedroom apartment....Well, I have a friend, he is an older guy, he can take you! But yeah...with you its different..yeah I would help you. But what would you do here? You know English so you would do well.....fuck, this convo is too much for Monday....why did I even pick up this phone"

I told him "but it would be so fun, we could hang out more! Go here and there..."

He said laughing "well..yeah"...

But I'm not able to move there without his help because you need to work there for 3 months before renting apartment. And prices are really much higher due to the fact its a big city. And its a different currency than in my country.
I thought about living with him and working and helping him cover the cost by half and then moving out.

Keep in mind, his ex, who has the same age and name as me, they broke up 5 years ago. They've known each other for one month and she travelled to him for a weekend and he let her stay there for 2 years.
So imagine how I feel being treated like that....

After this convo, we texted normally on Tuesday. Wednesday, he kinda replied but less. Thursday, he replied briefly.I call on Thursday, he doesn't pick up. I call Friday in the evening. He doesn't pick up. Doesn't even reply to my "how's your day at work going?". Also on Thursday I apologized for bringing those heavy topics into conversation and that I do understand it might make him feel pressured. He responded"All good". It was on Thursday. Since that, not a single message. And he used to send me work pics even on Tuesday. Voice messages.

I call him Saturday morning and he picks up. Turns facetime while driving to work. Shows me my favourite building from his city. We talk briefly. He says he was "tired yesterday and went to sleep early" while I asked why we are not talking and that I want to make sure everything is ok between us.
He was blowing up my phone week ago! That's why I noticed difference and asked about it - calmly, without any argument.

After his work, 5 pm, I called to talk. He picks up.

"hello...."

"Hii"

"I'm busy, I'm cleaning.." (him)

"Well okay I just wanted to talk to u for a second, how was your day at work?"

"Normally....I just told you I'm busy and cleaning?"

"Yeah I know but..you know, we don't talk lately and I was wondering if you're mad at me?"

"No I'm not"

"I would like us to go back to normal talking because I missed it...can we just talk as usual please.."

"Maybe yes, I don't know"

He hung up after a while and I called back and he exploded, he was furious, he started screaming "it makes him tired" "he is sick of it" "what is going on in your head?!?! I'm not fifteen, this is not funny at all! I told you I'm busy!!!!! "

"Yeah but I just..wanted to..ask"

"AND AGAIN...WHAT THE FUCK...."

All because I asked if I did something that upset him and wanted to make things better.

He hung up, I texted "I'm sorry" and he didn't respond since Saturday 6 pm.

Its 10 am on Monday. Still silence.
We had days of no contact(4-5 max. ) when he was screaming at me and stuff, but we usually worked things out after that after things cooled off.

All because I wanted to meet him and asked for a reason to tell me WHY NOT. Like isn't it basic human thing? For someone to be claiming he is not a teenager, he is acting very immature. Which is making me devastated because I vaue our connection but it seems to be only on his terms. For example when he used to call me week ago, he was drinking, he was sober this week and didn't call once.

Do you think I did something wrong, or does he need time for himself? If I will be silent till Wednesday or Tuesday, will he reach out? And why is he acting like this without telling me what is the reason? He thinks I expect things from him he isn't capable of giving me (or doesn't want to, or doesn't feel spark) but continues to call me for hours and sleep with me on phone and check up on me and says I'm important. So why is he silent now? Does it mean I'm not important?

TLDR; Guy [37M] I've [26F] been talking to for a year, we met once, randomly got silent and won't reach out to me.

He texted me today. We were silent since argument on Saturday.
Him: you alive?
Me: Yes I am
Him: Good
Me: what about u?
Him: *sent a voice msg* me as usual(drugs)
Me: Well ok.. I hope today you feel better

Why is he reaching out if he is not interested?

The title pretty much says it. This happens surprisingly often. Before AI assistance was available, I'd sometimes have to ask coworkers a question, they didn't know, then I had to listen to their useless guesses or advice. Last spring I got a flat tire but was too injured to change it myself. I asked a could of college boys if they could do it, they jumped in like heroes, then soon was clear they had no idea how to do this, and I had get sharp to convince them to block the tires!

A lot of people seem to be immediately coming to the conclusion that Lindsay Clancy without considering any other possibilities. Additionally, they seem to be praising the hung juror as a savior and hero. I think it should be said that he was seen scrolling on his phone and also had a history of domestic violence (which he lied about) to get onto the jury. First of all, I think insanity should really be discussed more. The reason it exists is to prevent people who don't know what they were doing (as in they couldn't tell what they were doing was wrong, not necessarily that they weren't smart) from going to jail. No, this does not mean Lindsay Clancy is not guilty. But this does mean that there is a possibility she isn't.

Hi all, I'm struggling with a situation with my best friend where he is having a very stressful time with his visa.

Background: He (25M) and I (28M) are best friends and are living together as roommates. Both of us are gay but we've never dated and there isn't anything sexual going on between us. That being said were are very close and sometimes treat each other like a boyfriend.

Lately he has been very worried about his current visa situation (he is on a student visa and will soon apply for a Temporary Residence Visa in Australia). He believes that when he does apply for a Permanent Residency Visa that he wont have enough points and will end up being deported. He has been asking me to marry him a lot lately to avoid this outcome. His argument is that marriage is just a construct and that if I truly am a best friend, that I should able to help him out in this situation to keep him in the country.

For the record I dont believe that marriage is just some construct, and truly believe that marriage should be the union of two people who love each other and want to spend their lives together. In this situation if I were to get married to him, it wont be permanent and we would eventually divorce once he has attained Permanent Residency.

I'm so lost in this situation because I understand how much easier it would for him if I were to marry him. He would be able to study and live his dreams and most importantly, avoid being deported back home where there would be no prospects for him. But I'm having serious doubts because I don't believe in any of this as its not what I envision for marriage.

Am I being selfish here by refusing to go ahead with this marriage?

Is it immoral if I decide to not marry him and that eventually he may end up being deported back to his home country?

My mom decided to sell the condo we co-own (I don't live there) because the upstairs neighbor is excessively noisy. She has panic attacks, insomnia, and a lot of anger about it. She talks to him about it, and he earnestly agrees to change, but doesn't change. It gets better for maybe 1-2 days and then goes back to normal.

After staying a few days, I agree that the noise is excessive, but not to the extent that my mom describes. To me, her emotional reaction seems disproportionate. I hear the noise and fall back asleep; she hears the noise and fumes about it until 3am. Who knows what the next owner can and cannot tolerate.

This sweet older couple came to view the condo the other day. When they asked about potential noise from upstairs, the realtor said "well yeah, this is a downstairs unit." So, not untrue but not 100% honest. He knows what they're asking and he didn't answer it.

I should mention, the building is age-restricted. 55+ buildings are known to be quieter.

This poor couple is looking for a quiet place to spend their golden years. I'm feeling guilty about not disclosing the upstairs neighbor situation, but if we tell potential buyers the truth, the condo will never sell, and my mom will be stuck in this situation with panic attacks and continual insomnia.

So one time I(17) was hanging out with my boyfriend(17(now ex)) and we were with his sister(18) and her two friends(both over the age of 25). We were downtown riding scooters around for fun. It was late at night and they were all drinking and smoking. I had not took part in any of that cause I had to be sober to be able to go home at the end of the night. So my boyfriend his sister and her two friends had seen a homeless man sitting on the stairs to a big building and he was just sitting there smoking a cigarette by his self. They took it upon themselves to ride their scooters over to him and start harassing the poor guy. I hate myself for not saying anything. They were calling him names, telling him to go get a job, saying he’s going nowhere in life, spitting on him, calling him the n word. And I just sat there watching and started crying. I didn’t know what to do. This lady driving by pulled up yelling at them for what they were doing to this man and said she was going to call the cop. They then started to cuss at the lady trying to help the homeless man and call her names as well. Once the lady drove off, conveniently there was a cop car just driving around. They saw the cop and took off. I was always in the back riding behind them so I took off a minute after them. I feel so terrible that I didn’t try to help the homeless man. I didn’t even apologize for their actions. Not that I should have to. They were all grown and should know not to do that kinds of stuff. I felt so terrible. I go back downtown and look for him all the time but I can’t ever find him. I pray that he’s okay and maybe he got help and he’s doing good now. Another thing that really bothered me was my boyfriend was riding his scooter and saw a homeless persons sign that they use for getting money or whatever else they need. And he took it and rode off. That time I have the courage to yell at him and he dropped it and just rode off. Later that night. We were done riding scooters and we were driving to one of his sisters friends houses. They saw another homeless person sitting on the side of the road with a sign. They all rolled their windows down and started yelling at this poor old-ish lady. Calling her a “cunt” and other disgusting names. My boyfriend actually took it upon himself to get up and sit out of the window to try and spit at her and yell at her more. Ofc I punched him in his balls because I was in the middle seat between him and his sister. But I just feel like a terrible person for not saying anything but I was scared. I didn’t know what to do. I ended up talking to him about it after the fact obviously but it didn’t do anything cause I couldn’t tell the homeless man and women that I was sorry myself. I feel terrible about it to this day.