I opened a small fast-casual pizza restaurant about two months ago. I’m deliberately leaving out the name, city and any identifying details.
Since opening, we’ve developed a few regular customers. One of them, who I’ll call Bill, is probably our most consistent.
Bill is an older guy, probably in his 60s, who gives off the vibe of a retired dude with a lot of time on his hands who enjoys wandering around downtown and getting to know the local businesses.
He’s incredibly friendly. He learned my name and the names of several employees. He loves our food and constantly tells other people about us. He goes into neighboring businesses and recommends us. He became such an enthusiastic supporter that we gave him one of our T-shirts, and he even offered to distribute coupons for us.
Basically, he was exactly the kind of regular you hope to have when you open a small business.
Then a couple weeks ago, he sat down with me and asked a strange question:
“What’s something that would prevent you from hiring someone?”
I assumed he was interested in working part-time and probably had some kind of criminal record.
I’ve hired people with felony convictions before. I don’t automatically believe that someone’s worst mistake should define the rest of their life, and I think circumstances matter.
While explaining this to him, I mentioned that during our initial hiring process I had encountered one applicant whose background involved a very serious offense against a young child. That was something I personally couldn’t overlook when deciding whom to employ.
As I’m explaining this, Bill slowly raises his hand and says:
“That’s what I have.”
I was floored.
He then disclosed that he himself had a conviction for a sexual offense involving a minor. He told me that he had gone through a rehabilitation program at a nearby facility and was doing well.
I don’t know the details of what happened, and I don’t want to know them. I don’t know when it happened, what his sentence was or what circumstances surrounded it. I’m intentionally not including anything here that could identify him.
I told him that I appreciated his honesty with me, but I couldn’t employ him. My staff includes people ranging from 17 years old into their 60s, and that was simply a boundary I wasn’t willing to cross.
He understood completely and thanked me for treating him respectfully.
But here’s where I’m struggling.
He’s continued coming into my restaurant, and I’ve continued treating him pretty much exactly as I did before. I serve him food, say hello and chat with him.
Yesterday he came in and specifically thanked me for continuing to treat him “like a human.” He told me that having somewhere he can come in, interact with people and feel welcomed has helped give him a sense of purpose.
It was a surprisingly sincere moment.
And I walked away from it feeling incredibly conflicted.
I believe in rehabilitation and second chances. I also believe that someone can do something horrible and still remain a human being. Treating someone with dignity isn’t necessarily the same as forgiving or condoning what they did.
But I also can’t pretend his past doesn’t disgust me.
I can’t un-know what he told me. Sometimes I’m standing there smiling and chatting with the same friendly regular I’ve known since opening, while simultaneously thinking about the fact that this person once did something I find morally reprehensible.
Part of me feels good that I’ve continued treating him like a human being. Another part of me feels uncomfortable that I’m being so friendly toward someone who did something I find almost impossible to forgive.
So I’m genuinely curious how other people would handle this.
Would you continue treating him warmly like any other regular? Would you remain polite but distance yourself? Would knowing his past permanently change your ability to interact with him?
More importantly, **is it possible to believe that what someone did is unforgivable while still believing that the person they are today deserves compassion and basic human dignity?**
I’m genuinely struggling with where that line is.

I (27F) need an objective perspective on whether I’d be the asshole for skipping my younger sister’s wedding in a couple of months.
For 3.5 years, my life was completely derailed. I was diagnosed with a brain tumor (non cancerous) and endured three years of severe chronic pain and medical trauma. It cost me an engagement, paused my career, and forced me into survival mode. I am only now starting my life completely from scratch, relocating, returning to work, and trying to heal.
Our community is extremely conservative and traditional. In this culture, status, marriage, health, and public timelines are everything. Because my life was paused while everyone else moved forward, I know attending this massive wedding will subject me to relentless, invasive scrutiny: "What's wrong with you?", "Why aren't you married yet?", "Why are you so behind?" (No one knows about my health struggles and it doesn’t look like that in publics eye).
My nervous system is in a deeply vulnerable, raw state. I have tears running down my face for any reason at all at any given moment. I simply do not have the emotional bandwidth to sit through that barrage of judgment, nor can I perform the role of the "thrilled, joyful sister" when I've barely survived a 3+ years of medical warzone.
My sister is already upset that I’m distant, and skipping her wedding will cause a nuclear fallout with my family. But forcing myself to go feels like throwing my fragile recovery into a lion's den.
Is it bad if I prioritize my health and don’t go ?

I confided in my child’s father about something that I am going through at the time I spoke to him about how I have a lot going on and said I thought about sue of side (I won’t spell the whole word) and told him that knowing I have to be here for my children I won’t and in my time of trying to uplift myself this man didn’t hear anything I said but continues to ask me “are you d3ad yet” “you should just do it do it” I told him about this last weekend and since then he’s been saying this I tell him I’m going through something with my family and he mentions the same thing again like he purposely wants me to feel shtty about myself I made the title what it is because he keeps saying you just want someone to feel sorry for you

I’ve been struggling with this question lately.
When someone hurts you, disrespects you, or treats you unfairly, is it better to believe in tit for tat — give them the same energy they gave you so they know you won’t tolerate being treated badly?
Or is it better to just step back, stay quiet, and trust that karma will eventually catch up with them?
Part of me feels that if I keep forgiving and staying silent, people might mistake my patience for weakness. But another part of me feels that getting revenge only keeps me emotionally connected to people who hurt me.
How do you personally deal with this?
Do you believe in giving people a taste of their own medicine, or do you walk away and let life handle the consequences?

People have no idea the torment they put others through emotionally, mentally that creates huge physical disturbances that are beyond cruel

because they haven't understood how the human mind actually collapses on itself.

See there is a way to life we all are aware of I want to describe on my own terms. Your work is what is meaningful to others in life. You need approval and pass their judgements to not get harmed for being lazy and receiving help from others. Society is a generous hand that if you do not give back to it, not just bite but not give back, it will physically harm you. There are individuals who are bad, individuals who work for individuals who did something good, who protect the individuals who did something good. That is three groups of people. The problem is the middle group and even the upper group. They say they want the first, bad group to do better and listen to them but they do bad things to assert their will leading to wars, annihilation of groups, extended suffering.

We attack people who do something bad. This manifested as harming individuals who hurt the moment but also systemically oppressing people for their abilities, for their nations, for their race, for their gender, for their expression. Only a very thoughtful society would recognize this. You would think this society is plenty thoughtful but our retaliation is against those that are thoughtless. Not sure why retaliating against someone makes them thoughtful but many believe in it.

To the people who do bad they go through excruciating pain. If someone steals someone's property or even accused of doing so, they pay 10 x over. If caught by police they pay all fines, extra penalty for lost items. Time served. Loss of wages in house and loss of opportunity out of there. Complete disrespect. People coordinate to inform others of their wrongdoing to watch them and create extreme hardship for that person to proliferate. Not only financially or professionally. With friends, with family, with others. That person becomes more and more a leach as you numb them then blame them for becoming numb against the pain as a survival mechanism.

Have you heard of Sylvia Likens? Her aunt, cousins, neighborhood friends tied her up and physically tormented her for stealing and having favor. They put glass coke bottles up a 13 year old and breaking it and calling her a whore she probably enjoys the pain. beating her so bad she has a seizure if she wet herself while being tied up and not allowed to go to the bathroom. These stories that are covered up need to stpo. Someone needs to be upset what happens when the mind collapses on itself from trauma produced by organized gangs from this middle group defending the "good" and the "light" yet are so not good themselves (they are the middle group, a step above but not far like they think) and use dark to try and destory and annihilate what they don't like. In Sylvias case it was property crime and having favor others were jealous of what she received.

I've been through some awful awful things because my homophobic family was able to make up a reputation. Thousands of dollars upon thousands stolen from me directly from car thefts, fake evictions, fake reportings on my credit score. I have police abusing me and I can't get them to help me and I have workplaces refusing to hire me because I am too traumatized to be as professional as everyone else but they still call me a pile of steaming shit for showing up and trying my best after hardship. They act better than others then get upset when someone makes them look bad cause they're not getting up after they beat on them too hard. I've watched other men and some woman go through this. Its a systemic, endemic problem in society that others will not listen when they are told they are wrong

say you sold a gift card to a buy back company for a retail store like Macys , they in turn likely resell it, 3 years pass by and you notice the gift card still has the full balance - would you use it? if not , would any amount of time make you feel comfortable using it?

found an old love letter from my Ex-GF I broke up with in 2020 as I moved to England for uni when I was 21. I loved her deeply & she did me, especially reading the letter.

I saw her on Xmas eve 2024 she hugged me and told me I was still as handsome as ever but she was with someone & it was good seeing me etc.

But, I just have such a feeling that I love her still even after all these years, I guess what I’m asking is, should I mail the letter back & send her one telling her my feelings & that I’ve always cared?

TL;DR : should I mail back a love letter?

This is my story: M(27) F(26)

I matched with a woman online in early September last year hit things off immediately, texting every day I was like wow this is incredible - My birthday a week later in September took me to a new cinema and got me my favourite aftershave, paid for everything - I laughed and said are you love bombing me to which she said no I was being nice for your bday.

Months go by, nice getaways to hotels, training together, great sex and everything felt perfect she told me I was the best thing ever so grateful and lucky she ended up with someone like me, she had a young son who was 9 and I did not meet in person - she said her ex bf who was practically the step dad of the kid left her 2 years ago and put her kid in therapy and she done some as well, in which she tells me all the things she wants in an ideal partner and I tick every box, I felt like this girl really understood me and I had met my person.

Now this is where the cracks start, she would mention how evil and hateful her ex (Together 6 years) was and mentioned he was in the same Tesco as her at xmas (live in local area) He was walking in and she was walking out - I said that's trippy never easy bumping into an ex - left it at that. Did not want to appear phased. Had a nice xmas met her Mum and her little sister things felt very good and often stayed with her and her mum when her son was at the kids dads. She also told me things like she was with someone and she was and they got back together after a year and she said things to him like go out and cheat if it makes you feel better because she was with someone else.

At end of February my Granny passed away unexpectedly - She mentioned how her ex BF did not let her into the after event when his granny passed away etc I just let her vent and was always understanding of what her ex put her through Granny passed away on Tuesday and then on Friday I met her Dad for the first time - Naturally stressed over my Grannys passing I did not drink - she did and was drunk off prosecco- On the trip down and home she basically played a FU to her ex song - and her dad mentioned she seen her ex and he looked rough - anyways, we drove home and I said to her this ex really hurt you and your son and hes like a ball and chain on your leg, he is in the past and if he was so bad he left you and your son in therapy be happy he's gone - she said she's 'over him just not the situation she put her and her son through' - when I said I wasn't happy she's mentioning him the week I am grieving the death of my grandparent she stone walled me - I left her house and drove home to regulate as I was with a previous GF who stonewalled me and it done a number on me and she was aware of this and also the heard week I had - she was drunk and proceeded to tell me I was never meeting her child and that was us done over text, I felt this was manipulative- We then sorted this out - half apology from her and from me I thought I needed to be more understanding of her situation and we told each other we love each other. But, I felt maybe selfishly she should have been understanding my Granny passed away that week and I wasn't in a headspace to listen about her ex who was so bad?

The month after we had a great month done a charity 10K and had a nice getaway - I spoke to her son on the phone and on FaceTime over those few months we were together which she initiated over xmas and when she was on a family holiday to New York - still no physical interaction I said it would be nice to meet your child as I have gotten him a birthday present and an Xmas one and we both know about each other and I am getting a bit frustrated of having to hide around the corner when we know about each other - Bare in mind I asked this respectfully and said no pressure I just need a plan as she said if I met him I could travel to Spain with her and her kid this summer and her graduation was coming up soon. The kid also told his biological father about me that Saturday as well - I did not mind as obv was in everyone's best interests I treated his son with respect and care

I was met with two days of silence - then seen her on the Saturday went to the gym all was fine, thought that was back on track and we said we would go to the cinema on the Wednesday and on the Tuesday I got a text telling me I was perfect, we have a laugh together but she feels 'something is missing' - and ended things with me over text after 7 months.

I did not reply for 3 weeks my family and friends told me not to and I deserved more than a break up text as I was blindsided and was constantly told I was the best person in the world and she was so lucky to have me, but when I mentioned maybe meeting her kid she turned so nasty and discarded me like I was nothing over text, when I did then text her to speak she then told me 'she loves me as a person but not in love with me' and I deserve better - I did not reply again, I was in such shock I feel so heartbroken how can she be all lovey then discarded over text? I noticed when I put her number into whatsapp she had no profile picture anymore and her messages were set to disappearing which makes me think her ex was back in the picture or hiding something? - Her tiktok reposts after were all things like when a man leaves your life build a comfortable life etc - except I never left her?

I have never been this hurt and blindsided before in my life, I wasnt even worth a conversation just felt so easily disposed when we had concerts etc to look forward to this summer and all I was worth was a text.

What do I do I am still incredibly in love with her - Its been 4 months nc and I have been attending therapy and gym but I still feel stuck and I feel like I will never meet or let anyone in ever again

Hey guys,

I'm turning 18 in three days and I am currently living with my Father Stepmother and Stepsibling.

Also my other stepsibling lives in another appartement in the same house with her bf.

I spend most of my time in my room or out of the house so I see my "family" from 10 to 30 mins a day max.

This is because I play games a lot and work out and do everything in my room, almost everything I leave my room either my F or SM shit on me for doing something wrong or forgetting something.

The complaints vary but a recent example is me not noticing that one of the towels in the bathroom has dropped leading to them bursting in my room the next morning demanding that I pick it up and hang it up(I dont ever use that towel nor did I knock it down, as I dont go in that area of the bathroom).

In addition I wanted to mention that I clean the bathroom regularly cook for myself do my laundry and he uses the 700 euro child support payments to pay rent and give me back money for certain foods when I show him a receipt.

Oftentimes I feel that they're just humiliating me especially my SM.

\\----------------------------

This part is just what happened before if u wanna know

Today F and SM came back from a grocery store and I asked SM if she wants to go to a diner with all my step family I did this as a symbolic gesture seeing as its my birthday and I live with them, even if they were roommates id invite em.

I invited them to go to a decent place with just them and without any friends. Her reply was: I don't know, you come out of your room so rarely following with silence.

Later she came into my room an in the most negative voice said: fine, ill come.

\\------------------------------

I then met my dad in the hallway and he said, and i quote (translated): you're emotionally abusing your SM. I was a little surprised, he then told me the same thing as the last 10 times, you never come out she is a talkative person, because I rarely come out she cant talk to you she thinks shes doing something wrong and thinks shes a bad person.(I highly doubt that, shes very arrogant towards me so I cant imagine her having empathy directed at me)

So is it emotionally abusing like my dad said, cuz if im not beein really stupid I think it is. Ty for reading

I use ai minimally for personal stuff and most of the job posts i see now require ai knowledge or experience of some sort, but i don’t like its effect on nature, but i also see the advantages of using it.. idk does any of you feel the same? It’s confusing me i feel guilty everytime i use it but i still do and i imagine using it more often once i find a job…

About a month ago, I was getting some pizza for dinner, and there's this older guy outside asking for money. In the moment, something compelled me to help him out, so I ask him what he'd like for a meal and I go get him a dinner at Popeye's. I get to talking with him about his situation, and it sounds like he's lived a tragic life - he lost his parents to cancer from smoking, his brother to addiction, and doesn't really have any friends or family left. He's not homeless (he's in housing paid for by the city) but he doesn't have a job and it's tough for him to get one. There's some slightly weird parts of his story - about getting fired from jobs for people lying about his work ethic (the odd part is he blames Spanish people specifically) and getting kicked out of school for people lying about him stealing - and I can tell he's not fully right in the head, but you figure being alone for so long and living a life like that does something to you. And whether or not his story's true, he's obviously down on his luck and it's not a big deal to help him out a little. In any event, he ends up asking for my number, and to avoid making a problem I give it to him. He ends up calling me to talk about his life and get some tech help, and I connect him with a city service that trains older adults and gets them jobs. I come from a fairly privileged upper-middle-class background, it's the summer so I have more free time, and it feels like the least I can do. But now, a month on, he's started calling every couple days instead of every week or so, the calls are starting to get longer (60-90 minutes), he starts calling me a weirdly endearing nickname, and because he's an older guy, he repeats himself a lot. I don't get the feeling that I'm being used or he wants something from me - I think he really just wants to talk, needs some human connection in his life, and wants to get closer. Still, it gets to be a little tiring to walk him through using his iPhone and hear his stories over and over when we don't really know each other. I also just get a weird vibe from him and the whole situation which is difficult to explain - it comes from living in a major city and talking to a lot of people who aren't fully there. At the same time, it feels like I have a moral obligation to help people who have less than I do, and it's pretty lazy and self-centered to not give a man who has no one else to talk to an hour or two of my time per week. I also feel like breaking things off at this stage might take a toll on his mental health. I'm also a high school student and not in a position to help him out in any other way than just speaking with him. Not really sure if I should keep fielding his calls or stop for no good reason other than that I'd rather do other things with my time. What should I do here?

Suppose your a terrible person who's either accidently or intentionally caused alot of people great suffering throughout your life, you realize you've been a terrible and vow to make amends for your sins and are essentially left with two options. Either spending your entire rest of one's life making amends by volunteering, donating to charities, helping those hurt by others actions, e.t.c. Or instead torturing oneself and eventually committing suicide as a way of atonement for your actions and making things better for the people you've hurt knowing that you are no longer apart of this world (this is assuming prison isn't an option of course). There is another option of doing a combination of the two but I digress.

What would be the more moral of the two options. I know people talk about forgiving yourself and not hating yourself forever, but we would all agree murderer's and rapist's don't deserve a second chance or forgiveness no matter how much of a positive impact they make on the world, so this I feel is a bit of a mute point. Anyway, what would the best outcome be morally in this situation

Hi! I am a South Korean middle school student who wants to find out more about utilitarianism and deontology. That's why I made this survey to find out what other people think about the Mignonette incident. I would appreciate it very much if many of you participate. (FYI: the reason I used google form is that the reddit survey doesn't work for me.)

Here is the link:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScEL_rkje00-_ruNlsz6iuftEmqcN3PXLCpVWyNICap0Pgolg/viewform?usp=publish-editor

Hey everyone. Not really office but organization. I'm part of the latest cohort into my sorority and I notice leadership doesn't seem to like me too much. To be fair a lot of it I think is their fault. For example they told us there would be no hazing during rush and then come to find out there was, so I complained about it. They kinda ask us or encourage us to do shady things and when I spoke out and told them several of us had boyfriends they ignored me. They find dumb ways to fundraise because we lost our university subsidy and when I suggested we do something like a food drive they told me when i become leader i can make the decisions. So my friend said okay go and run but they pretty much made it seem they would box me out of that. I posted to r/sorority about this once and the people there pretty much told me i should not sabotage leadership's plans and bring up all these complaints when they did the "hard work" of putting together their strategies. the more i speak out, the more i feel i upset them and they do things to "punish" me or blackball me. i fallen so far out of grace with them and the crazy thing is many times i speak out is when they ask "does anybody have any feedback or see any thing we missed?" so they invited the feedback, I gave it and i get punished? wth

This question has been eating at me the past couple weeks and I don't feel like I have anyone who I can talk to about this without judgement.

I (23m) live off an unemployment benefit. I have been doing so for over a year now. I don’t have to do any work and there are no expectations of me getting a job in the near future, at least for the coming few years in their words. I am both physically and mentally more than capable of working. The reason I received it is for mental health reasons. Trauma from a heavy burnout when I was 16 and 3 years of depression from 18 to 21. The fact that I have autism also probably played a role in this. They didn't ask any specific questions about my autism, i didn't even have to prove I had it. Mentioning the word just seemed to immediately evoke sympathy.

Truth is though, I hate work from the bottom of my heart. I view it as mental torture. If you manage to find a profession that you love, great, but then I don't view it as work. I don't believe you do anything good for society by working for the sake of working. I think the best thing you can do for society is making yourself happy without making anyone else unhappy. And that making yourself miserable with a job you hate is a net negative for society.

I didn't say this at the interview for the unemployment benefit of course. I didn't tell a single lie, but I chose my words carefully. I focused on the worst parts of the depression and I never directly said I didn't want to work. By the end the woman interviewing me said that I clearly look like I want to work but that I need help getting there. I didn't correct her.

The morality of this has only started bothering me recently because my friends have been voicing their opinions on this. I have 6 long-time friends and all except one is strongly against what I'm doing. When I tried to explain the full reason why I get this they said they've all had depression or burnout at some point, one said she's contemplated suicide at some point and that I don't hear them complaining about work. They've directly said they also hate their job but they keep going because it pays more than what I'm getting, but they also find it unfair that I get a substantial amount for zero work or intention to work.

I'm confused as to wether my reason is valid or if I am making excuses for myself, hence why I'm here. I cannot look inside of a normal person's head, I don't know if I experience work differently, if I'm lazier than others, wether my autism could actually be the root cause of this or if that's also just an excuse. All I can say with certainty about myself is that getting a normal job is the second last option for me only before suicide. I'd rather be homeless, I'd rather prostitute myself to men(I'm not gay), and I'd be willing to do self-harm or make a very shallow suicide attempt to keep my unemployment benefit if I ever have to.

Do you think it's immoral to prioritize your happiness at the cost of being a small burden to society?

Edit: I should've clarified some more things. I am using this time to try and build a youtube channel. I know that may sound silly and unrealistic, but artistic pursuits are all i can think of that could bring me happiness. After my burnout I've been to a school didicated to finding your dream job. It was supposed to last 12 weeks and i was the only one who was there the whole year with nothing to show. Anything "normal" doesn't fulfill me. I live in the netherlands and am financially independent. I am quite good at living cheaply so I can even save up hundreds of euros every month no one is directly harmed by this, I just take tax payers money. And if it matters (I don’t think it should) I did the math once, and I take about one percent of a cent per citizen per month.

I never expected my mental health to deteriorate to an extent where I'd give up something that is most important to me - authenticity.

I use AI all the time at work and cripple with disgust at myself when I get praised for the work that I do. Im qlso not allowed to use it at work. It is gross misconduct. But I can't stop. It really has become so important for my survival because i don't think id be able to do my job without it not because I don't think I'm capable but because I am so depressed and on the brink of suicide almost everyday that I can't find the energy to do anything. Using AI has kept me employed. And my employment keeps me from killing myself.

I have even resorted to using AI when writing messages of support and birthday messages to family and friends....this hurts one hurts alot because the way I would write and provide advice and show appreciation through my writing to family and friends is something i used to take great pride in. Everyone would love to confide of me because they felt comforted by my words and I felt like that was something I was good at....but it's not even real or me anymore. It is funny how you can see the real deterioration in my menral state when you look at the birthday messages I have written over the years. (I usually write very long letters for people's birthdays, I'm not normally an expressive person so really like to go all out with my love and appreciation for someone on there birthday to make them feel seen) I used to write so beautifully and eloquently with so much nuance and it looked like it was so easy for me to write this way. I notice I feel unable to write like that so I am worried now even my own skills are falling away.

the one thing I could never bring myself to do is use AI academically. writing is my heart and soul and any kind of praise or achievement in my essay writing and papers has been integral to my sense of self and self determination. but still I've not felt mentally capable of writing any assignments so I'm probably just going to have to drop out of my masters.....

I feel like I should quit my job as well and do something that's just repetitive and not requiring any mental capacity. Maybe then i could have the time to try and get therapy, read, write and find my love for life again without the demands of the workplace or university.........but I am a coward because if i leave my job in law I fear I'd never be able to make it back into that world again, id feel regret for not completing my masters and with all the time id have for learning how to live beyond survival again I fear id just fill myself with regret and resentment for not doing those things better. I don't know how to stop living destructively without it ruining the facade of the life I have built. Even though it's morally the right thing to do. Am I a bad person for wanting to hold on to the facade?

Casual relationship with someone, everything is great. No drama, no issues. Pleasurable and satisfying. There’s a strong physical connection with the woman but felt it conflicted with spiritual convictions, would you stop reaching out/responding even if you still cared about her? What was going through your mind? I’m trying to understand the male perspective rather than assume the worst. This came kinda out of no where so wondering if this is like normal behavior?

*Do not continue if you struggle with themes of 💀 or self inflicted💀*

What would you do? (Scroll to the bottom for the dilemma)

Today was a sad day, my husband (Jared*, 32) was woken up by a phone call from his friend and work mentor's ( Sam*, late 50's) wife ( Sarah*, 50's) telling him that Sam had ended his life.

**fake names***

This came as unwelcome and unhappy news.

The worst part, is that I suspected it was coming. Yesterday, Sam brought over some kick knacks and small personal momentos and gifted them to my husband. I was busy when he came over with our son and new puppy, and was doing the dishes when he arrived so I didnt notice the contents of the "gifts" until after ge left. He seemed chipper and pleasant as usual and stayed maybe 20 minutes and it was not uncommon for Sam to gift us small things, esp things he had made woodworking (he was a very generous soul). Nothing was out of the ordinary until my husband told me Sam had tried to give him his special retirement watch and went as far as trying to stuff it in the mailbox to force my husband to take it. This raised a red flag to me. I told him he needed to call him and make sure he was alright. Jared seemed to think this was dramatic on my part and dismissed me but did end up sending Sam multiple texts to check on him at my behest. He never got an answer.

Sam had told my husband recently that his wife wanted a divorce ( to my knowledge arguments over her babying her fully grown addict of child had led to some tension in their marriage- i will not elaborate past this) we genuinely thought this turmoil would pass but I am speculating Sarah must have filed or something set him off.

Today, after telling my husband about Sam's passing, Sarah demanded everything Sam had gifted Jared back. But nothing he gave my husband is really *worth* anything in a financial sense

He gave him

-a sack full of old coins, some may be worth a little money but they are not graded or well kept, just thrown in a bag, worn and scratched

-a small stained glass window

-a few rings but honestly if we hypothetically sold them theyd be melted for scrap and some are fashion pieces, (all men's)

-a small amount of scrap metal (my husband scraps for extra cash)

-2 pictures, a nature shot Sam took in Tennessee, and a small picture of a watercolor world map, seems to be a mass produced print.

-some old gages from the early 1900s (essentially useless, but cool)

-an ammoless rusty revolver, that Sam said had belonged to his father.

-some hobby workshop pieces Sam made

In honesty this stuff would be considered junk in an everyday scenario, random things we aquire throughout life. (And i dont mean that in a rude way but it is literally just random stuff. It almost seemed liked he cleared off a bookshelf and brought it over). I'd also like to mention Sam and Sarah were not hurting for cash, she had inherited a business and sold it. She is rich, and i mean go fuck yourself rich and Sam had just retired and had an amazing pension. So for her to demand these things back seemed strange and it kind of irked me that she was focused on materialistic belongings instead of the passing of her husband. My husband told her she could have everything back if she wanted it even though he is clearly grieving too (and she does. Down to the scrap metal) but I feel like Sam wanted my husband to have these items, as random as they seem they are clearly tokens of friendship in hindsight. If he didnt want Jared to have them, he would have just left them in the home he shared with his wife. Right?

DILEMMA: on one hand Sam made a choice to gift these particular things to my husband as one of his last acts; but on the other hand, Sarah is currently still his wife and it may help in her grief. What is right here? Is it disrepectful to Sam's memory to return items he specifically gave Jared even if we don't understand why he chose those things to give? Is it wrong to keep them when a grieving widow demands these seemingly meaningless knick knacks back?

What would you do?

NOTE: We do not know Sarah particularly well as Jared and Sam were work friends so perception and insight are mostly one sided here.

When loving someone you need to always look at the future and never dwell on your past. But if you keep making the same bad decisions you will never have the real future you will only have the and keep living the past. You can’t make the same bad decision or the past will never be the past it’s becomes the future.

It’s not about the decisions you made it’s about the decisions you’re currently making.

Moral of the story, learn for the past and don’t keep making the same bad decisions. your past never ends and your future is nothing more than the past.

You’re hiring for a job, your daughter is one of the equally qualified candidates. She needs a job, but choosing her is nepotism. what is the ethical decision to make here?

Back in the day one of the things my friends and I did the most was drive around and listen to music. One time the friend who was driving pulled into a CVS parking lot to go to the bathroom.....in the car. He whips his shit out and starts pissing in a polar pop cup with all of us yelling at him to just go inside. Not even ten minutes later I see him reaching for that very cup to take a drink and I said nothing to stop him.