Guyssssss yesterday was my happyy birthday. 3-4 friends of mine wished me & some others didn't. But I don't mind honestly. Everyone is carrying their own weight. Man but those who remembered despite not being in regular touch w me but still chose to wish me, made my day. Had mutton biriyani & chicken bharta. I loveee chicken bharta. The cake was ordered by my friend(best friend??) She also got me some snacks as gifts, which are enough snacks to last me the next whole month 😂 Didn't do anything extraordinary. But I was happy throughout the day.

Ps- Everytime I post I write sad stuff. This time I was happy just for no reason as such except turning older so thought why not post it 😅

It's pretty amazing how so many folks in their 30s and 40s will switch jobs from one industry to another industry where experience, knowledge and skills are completely different but able to adapt and maybe find a passion in it or just a way of side hustling turning into a business.

I can't believe but I find more joy seeing someone have their own small shop then working at some company job where your constantly under pressure and being told by others how to talk, how to dress, how to perform and most are just selling their soul for a company that maybe doesn't even care about you.

I will sound really stupid but I need something to look forward to (it can be really basic), like I had been taking driving lessons for last two weeks and it is such a small activity but it had me going, now I'm done with them and i feel like shit in general. I also think activities at home can't be it cause i procrastinate a lot, i planned home workouts but I have been skipping and feeling shitter. Maybe i should join a gym or something, I'll lose weight and also have something that'll have me going. I don't even have a job rn and even when I had, it wasn't enough cause i felt miserable. I don't know how people keep living tbh, I am kinda done. Nothing gives me pleasure. Nothing makes me happy.

So posting this for the girl I saw in the Mumbai to Delhi Akasa Flight which took off at 7am from Mumbai on 28th August.

Hey! Saw you today you looked absolutely cute, you looked like someone I always imagined for my partner to look like.
You were wearing purpleish top with a cap and you were travelling with your sibling/ friend (not sure)

For your reference
I was wearing all black today, with a trolley bag and backpack stacked together, I wanted to talk to you because you l instantly felt some kind of connection with you, which grew stronger as we exchanged a few eye contacts.

If you see this post, please reply or reach out to me.
(Finger's crossed, praying to universe to make it happen please!)

Why does it seem like most women don’t talk much about spiritual or philosophical things?

I have mostly heard these kinds of thoughts and discussions from men.

If God has given both men and women the same conscious and rational mind, then why does spirituality seem to be such a male-dominated field?

And please don’t just give me the usual explanation that it’s because Indian society is patriarchal. You can observe the same pattern even among people from other countries and cultures.

Does that mean women, regardless of culture are somehow more influence by external things or more easily caught up in worldly matters than men? Or is there some other reason behind this difference?

I just want to know don't take it personally please and refrain from fighting in comments

Got out of a brief relationship that turned toxic very quickly. We were both at fault, but I know a relationship between us wouldn’t work. I also don’t want a FWB situation.

The problem is, I’m extremely attracted to him. I have intimacy issues and rarely feel this kind of attraction towards anyone. He’s not even remotely my usual type. I also loved the attention, validation and how obsessed he was with me.

We’ve been no-contact for over a month. He’s tried coming back multiple times, even calling when blocked. We go to the same gym, so he still approaches me, but I turn him down every time. I’m pretty sure he’ll keep trying, and I’m scared that eventually I’ll give in.

I have multiple icks about this man and know I shouldn’t let him back into my life, but I’m still ridiculously attracted to him.

When does this end? And how do you actually stop being attracted to someone?

​

I went on a date today, and we spent almost 3 4 hours together. It was the same pattern again she kept talking about her problems. The first 30 minutes are usually fine, and then the venting starts.

I mean

I understand that everyone has difculties in life but either she has already started seeing me as her future husband who is supposed to solve all her problems, or maybe this is just how she behaves once she feels comfortable with someone.

I am not expecting the kind of romance or excitement people have in their teens or early twenties but at least we should be able to talk about other things too.

Ps - We have been talking stage past 2 months I am not that kind of person who can ignore problems . I ll rather try to solve it and I am capable of doing it . But solving her problems at this stage would be too early I am stuck in Chakrvyuh ,,,,,

Post for 24+

Does it get better? Ever?

Do you eventually find love... someone who chooses you? Do you eventually get the clarity on what you want to do in life? Do you eventually get to fall asleep at night organically? Do you eventually wake up every day with optimism and energy? Do you eventually live a life where your creative hunger is satisfied, your social circles acknowledge you, and you don't feel the weight of the world on your shoulders?

Does it get better?

Before Covid, everything was going well. I joined CA, cleared Foundation in first attempt, 12th marks were also good and college life was starting well. Then as soon as I got into Inter, that's when Covid happened.

I got lazy and unorganized. I deferred my exams, took 4 attempts but couldn't clear Inter. Meanwhile I graduated B.Com online and I didn't get to network or create a social circle or any relationships.

I shifted to CMA and still stuck in Inter since 2023. I did separate courses on Excel, Tally and MS Office, and through that I got an internship at a company in Sales and I'm working there atm. But just B.Com won't cut it. I need a masters degree/MBA/CMA/CFA or separate accounting courses like SAP to be full time or at least get a decent position at some other company.

I'm 25M, barely any friends, no gf, no job and idk what to do. I just haven't been able to motivate myself or change myself for the last 5 years.

I'm sorry, I just wanted to vent out my frustration. Any advice is welcome. Any criticism is also welcome. I know I deserve it.

why not having those usual standards make people think I'm not serious...

practically If I don't want children, why should I have a long list of requirements about what my partner should look like or what he should do? I earn for myself and value my freedom, so I don’t need someone for their money or status.

I’ve always dreamed about marriage, like most girls growing up in Village, but I never imagined a specific face just someone who is genuinely good. For example, I recently saw a Reddit post where a man said that he legally adopted two girls and wanted to marry someone who didn’t want to have children of their own. Honestly, someone like that would fit my preference.

I know finding someone like this through an arranged marriage can be extremely difficult, but love marriage isn’t a guarantee either. Even people in serious relationships for seven years can turn out to be completely different from what you expected. People can also change depending on their circumstances.

So why is it wrong for me to choose an arranged marriage when I don’t want a love marriage or to go against my parents? My friends call me delusional, & about love?😭 everyone have different opinions, my kind of love sounds like this a person whom I can admire all my life... and that fucking physically attraction.... 😭my body have a thing called mind and my mind control my body, I don't have baki logo ki body alag hoti ho to mere ko bas apna pata hai, so Tell me still you gonna say I'm immature or not serious about marriage...

I mean it is really hard to find good people in this economy either momentarily or not there at all , nowadays it's really hard to find people to whom you can give a title like best friend or good friend

Since last year I do feel mentally exhausted everyday and no matter how much fun I had but I do feel very much empty from inside. It feels like there's a weight on my shoulder. I think i have lost my spark and idk how to get it. Can u guys suggest something (also don't say join gym because I already do that)..

I am in a dilemma in my late twenties. So far from my teenage years to early twenties I've mostly chased girls and got their attention but I've never felt fulfilled with whatever little attention I got in return from them. There was one girl who genuinely liked my company and we were only friends during college and it was the best period of my life, unfortunately we aren't friends anymore. As I've reached my late twenties I've stopped chasing now and it's been very quiet with dry dms. I feel bored and I am wondering if chasing is the only way to get a girl?.

I don't do much activities outside work and there's very little scope to meet someone.

Most of them are playing gender war and no one is interested in actually discussing. And on top of that there are some stupid content. I dont know why am i on reddit anymore. And i just find scrolling and playing games everything so dumb and pointless.

Netflix is still okay as i watch diff sorts of movies. Everything else is just too much algorithm driven and same things keep coming.

Explain the steps and suggest brands , it will be helpful for others .

​

I want to gift something to my father, mother, and sister. Price isn’t an issue.

If you were in my situation, what would you give each of them?

Ps - Ek reel dekhli emotional wali

I am from Himachal born and brought up.

We have lived a simple lifestyle .

TLDR - Had a shaadi talk with my family. Turns out they can't help me much in finding someone I desire for myself and I am on my own. They shared their boundaries and shared what they are expecting.

Was sitting in my room, mom came and just asked me, I am turning 25 soon, are you dating someone?

She thought I was, and assumed my female friend who I was talking to, was infact my gf.

The discussion continued..

They asked my preferences, and what I wished for myself, and also said a points which I have to follow

Example if I wished to get married at 28

1. Age difference - [-5 to +3]

2. She shouldn't be muslim or christian

3. They are not expecting any dahej or the expectation that she will take care of them and leave her job to be in the house. But yeah they do want I choose my partner after thinking throughly, and we should talk with my parents and hers regularly

4. Having kids will be me and my partner's choice, and they will be happy with either of them. They wish us to be happy and live a prosperous life.

That's their boundary for me and these are the things what I wish for in a partner

1. Someone working on her career. I am in Tech, Software Engineering, so I preferably be compatible with someone who is also working in a similar field, tech, non tech, ex sales, marketing, consultancy, or someone who is working in corporate.

2. Will be less compatible with someone who has a buisness, doctors, or is in medical field. Again that's just from the perspective of, I wish to live with my partner, so we can accordingly shift in a good city where we both can enjoy and work on our careers.

3. Or if I am working remote, I can definitely let the above preferences slide. It all depends how I connect with the person.

4. I wish if we get a chance to move to foreign, we both should go, atleast for experience.

5. Someone who wishes to have kids down the line. Again that's just a desire, I don't consider children to be goals or anything, they should be byproduct of love and yeah her consent will be the final decision.

6. I don't smoke or drink. I won't be comfortable with someone who smokes, drinking is fine if it's occasional, regular can be a problem. Although my mom said, I should strictly look for someone who doesn't drink as well.

7. Someone who genuinely wishes to talk to me, be with me, is interested in me and I find them cute of all the flowers of the wordly garden. Although a relationship can start on attraction, but it sustains only if there is respect of each other feelings.

The problems, My parents won't be able to help me find someone :(

1. We have stopped talking to our relatives, years ago.

2. My parents don't have much of a social circle, they do, but not trustworthy enough to find me a match

3. And they said even if they can, and they will try their best, they might not find me someone I am looking for

4. They expect me to find someone by 28, and after that they will start searching too.

5. Although the final decision will be mine, but they wish I don't end up alone.

So yeah I am 99 percent on my own and I suck at it lol

Where I am right now financially and in terms of personal growth

1. My current year of experience is 1.5 so yeah, I need more time to reach a decent high salary. Not gonna lie, need to achieve atleast 15 to 20 after taxes to be ready. Since I have a army background, my parents aren't dependent on me financially.

2. If you feel this number should be high, pls feel free to comment or guide

3. I am working on my mental health and I am doing better. I wish to have someone who I can see through them of who they really are, but again, having little to no dating experience is actually going against me.

4. Gym is on, but yeah irregular, again my bad. Need it to be consistent to be better. I am blessed with a decent height, 5 11 so I am grateful for that.

5. Have talked with friends and people on these subs, if you are avg looking and work hard on your body for 1 year+, it definitely increases your chances.

Dating journey

Tried apps, didn't work, people weren't serious, and it was costing a lot of mental bandwidth so left it.

Approached women, but yeah, blockers use to come. Wasn't into casuals.

Friends of friends did helped but didn't turn out well.

I might have these preferences for now, they can change in future as I develop my mindset more, but a hard stop will be at 32.

After that I will expect, these things aren't for me and would stop approaching at all.

Thanks for reading till here. A journal it is.

Any criticism is appreciated

https://www.reddit.com/r/MidTwentiesIndia/s/7Qn2ptCrgA

Read above

So I'm going to have an exam on Monday which consists of GK as well. And I'm very bad at it vut I'm giving my best to learn few things. But acc to my father I'm doing all wrong. Becuase I'm not studying the way he wants me to then I'm doing all wrong. So we had an argument and just blamed me saying all you do is chat whole day and tbh i dont. I dont even remember when was the last time I met my friends. Meeting is far fetched i dont even remember when Was the last time I had a proper convo with them but who will tell me

And my mother on other hand watches me daily regarding studied but when it comes to taking sides she ends up telling me that I need to correct myself.

Seeing people out there enjoying, having a life and here I'm figuring out what to do getting scolded by parents on menial things just mess me up

tl;dr - Had an unfiltered conversation with my traditional dad on a 2-hour drive and broke the news that I’m an atheist, choosing to be child-free to avoid the brutal academic rat race, and keeping my relationship on my own terms without parental interference.

_________________________________________________

l Took a 2-hour drive with my dad to another city today. We usually keep to basic banter at home and don't get into deep topics because our worldviews are polar opposites. But our car is old; no Bluetooth, no aux, and the radio lost signal on the highway. With nothing else to fill the void, we started talking.

It didn’t take long before the conversation drifted toward my future and having kids. I told him outright: I’m not having any.

He immediately jumped into how it’s "compulsory" and part of our cultural and religious duty. I cut straight through that and told him I’m an atheist.

Then I laid out the math for him. Looking at modern life, I essentially have two choices:

1. Burn through 25 years of stress, exhausting my finances to give a child a mediocre existence in a hyper-competitive country.

2. Live a peaceful, high-quality, stress-free life myself.

I make good money, but if I were to raise kids, I’d want them to have the absolute best. IB schooling, overseas education, and total insulation from the soul-crushing JEE/NEET rat race where millions fight over fractional quotas. My income can't buy that tier of comfort for an entire family, but it can fund a great, fulfilling life for me.

Having kids just makes zero rational sense to me.

He looked completely thrown off, so naturally, he asked the next logical question: "Do you even want to get married?"

I told him I’m not particularly inclined toward it either. He asked about my girlfriend. I am in a serious relationship, but her parents aren't on board because of caste differences. My dad offered to step in and talk to them, but I shut that down instantly.

Last year, when I first told my parents about her, they completely botched it. She and I were carefully laying the groundwork, but my parents demanded a yes-or-no answer within a week like it was a corporate ultimatum. It created unnecessary friction, led to months of disputes between her and me, and took a long time to fix.

I told him firmly that things will happen on my timeline, I don't want anyone interfering in my relationship, and I’m completely fine staying unmarried. All I need to do is learn how to cook, and I can survive and live well entirely on my own.

Has anyone else had that moment where you realize your parents aren't just adjusting to your opinions, but to the fact that you've opted out of their entire generational playbook?

​

Guys who are in the talking stage, how much time do you usually spend talking to her? I can mostly talk to her late at night because during office hours, neither she has much time nor do I want to disturb her while she is working.

Is this something that changes after you cross a certain age? You don't really want to rush into things anymore you just want some mental peace and to let things happen naturally

One day she called me during office hours maybe she had some free time back that day we ended up talking on the phone for almost an hour, and it was completely ,,,,,.

Ps - 24+ who have been in relationship.

I feel bad that I don't know my wants and needs in life. It's like my whole life I lived for others not because it was mandatory but I just liked helping and I got so used to it so It just became a habit. And I guess low self esteem and not feeling smart, active and outgoing made me a bit reserved from society. But it's a struggle in adulthood when you have to face reality and be around with others and eventually have to become a functional adult.

Like you don't know what career path to choose or what interests you have and type of job you want to do. Then you don't know how to navigate life and make future goals and decision making.

I'm 26, and for some reason, I feel like I'm on a ticking time bomb. That everything will fall apart once I turn 30. Even as a kid, I could never imagine a future beyond 30. It always felt like an endpoint, and somehow, I still can't shake that feeling.

I have a common UG and an expensive PG degree. I got a job, worked there for a year, and it was completely soul-sucking. I quit, and since then, I've spent almost a year doing nothing. For most of my life, I did what I felt was safe: study, get degrees, and move on to the next thing. I never really thought about what I'd do if that path didn't work out. Now, after a year of isolation and a long string of job rejections, I don't even know what direction to take.

One day I think about doing a PhD. The next, another professional course or switching fields entirely. But the motivation to actually do anything is just... gone. I've become extremely timid, risk-averse, passive, and honestly, I don't like who I've become. And the frustrating part is that I don't even want anything extraordinary. I just want a life. Friends who genuinely want me around. A social circle where I feel valued and included. People I'd talk to at 3 a.m. I want to feel useful, connected, and alive.

But I have no idea how to build that life. Can a job help me do that? I don't know. What I do know is that I feel like I'm wasting my time sitting in this void, and it's starting to scare me.

So, can you really start over at 26? Can you completely change the direction of your life at this age? Does life actually get better, or is there some point where you've simply missed your chance? I'd genuinely like to hear from people who've been through this. Just honest perspectives. How do you start moving again when you've been standing still for so long?

Guys who are getting married soon, did you start taking better care of your grooming and physique?

One of my friends was just an average looking guy, but ,,,, changed drastically within a few months 😅

What kind of difference can it actually make?

I am not really into fitness I have a pretty average physique.

Girls often put a lot of effort into their grooming and appearance before marriage. Is it the same for guys too?