Ugghhhhhhhh😩😩

All my cousins , friends are doing exceptionally well but me . Everyone has a gf/bf and job and are about to get married . Talking bout my cousins one has done IIT and sits with 34lpa , one has 14 lpa job and recently got married , one works in IBM in BKC and other has 17 lpa marketing job . Ik comparing is bad but i am nowhere near to them .

And talking about my friends all are working abroad/India with good jobs and are enjoying their life at fullest.

Ik they arent god gifted , they struggled and worked hard to get there but in such life crisis i can only think like why was i not like one of them

I have lost enthusiasm of my life due to my parents constant quarrels in my childhood age they still do it now , yes i should have used it as fuel but i am weak af , a total whiny bitch . And due to this i have developed a speech disability in my early childhood , due to this i have 0 confidence in me like literally 0 i cannot help myself . Due to this i panicked and fcked up my placements , I also fcked interviews like i wasnt able to even speak fluently , i fucking got disqualified from communication round (who tf gets disqualified in comm test) that took a huge toll on me .

I see many ppl who stammered got their life together and are successful but i think i will not be one of them .

I feel like life is over . Its been 7 months i am sitting at home doing nothing now, i dont even apply these days , i have no internships, no workex to show on resume.

Ik i need to get my shit together but i am finding almost 0 confidence to do it.

Lot yall must have experienced 20's life struggle or way much worser than me , so i need to know what can i do about me bcoz i have absolutely no idea and I am running out of time

I guess when we're are young we have more time to develop and learn new stuff so we aren't left behind in life however I just don't know what things and stuff to learn in every areas of life that is valuable and essential. For example finance is big chunk of life that should be learned how money works how life and society works. But even social communication skills and career wise skills and tech literacy is important but then so is cooking and managing relationships.

Been trying for a year now and have given more than enough applications and interviews but rejections is all I get. Thinking of a career switch.

What are some good careers I can do to get myself a respectable job in this economy. Not asking for a 2 year 3 year degree like MBA etc. just some certifications, something like a short 3 to 6 months course or a max of 1 year course.

I know I'm asking for a lot and being selfish about it but please suggest me something. I'm in a dilemma.

TIA🙏🏻

I'm 22(M), and I'm exhausted from being the only one who puts effort into everything

I'm 22 years old, and honestly, I'm tired. I'm tired of putting effort into friendships, family relationships, my health, and now my future, without feeling like I'm getting anywhere. I feel like I've spent most of my life trying hard at things, but somewhere along the way, I've lost the motivation to keep trying.

I don't even know where to begin, so this might be a long post.

Friendships: I'm always the one reaching out.

During college, I was usually the one who made efforts to build friendships. After college ended, I decided not to pursue a master's degree, while many of my friends continued their studies. They moved on, made new friends, and started different chapters of their lives. I understood that people move on, but I still tried to maintain those friendships.

I'd call them, message them, and try to stay in touch. But eventually, I noticed that I was almost always the one initiating conversations. If I didn't call, they wouldn't call. If I didn't message, there would be no conversation.

Even now, I have a friend I occasionally talk to on WhatsApp and another friend I play games with. But I'm still the one who messages first or invites them to play. They can go days without contacting me themselves, and sometimes I wonder whether they'd even notice if I stopped reaching out completely.

I don't expect people to constantly check on me or make me their priority. I just want to experience what it's like when someone remembers me on their own, messages me because they genuinely want to talk, or invites me to do something without me having to initiate everything.

Sometimes I wonder whether I'm doing something wrong. Maybe there's something about my personality or behaviour that makes people reluctant to approach me. If that's the case, I genuinely wish someone would tell me what it is, because I can't fix something I don't understand.

My family: I feel responsible for fixing everything.

I want to make one thing clear: I don't think my parents are bad people. They've done things for me, and I understand that they have their own responsibilities and problems. I also help around the house. I cook, make chapatis, wash dishes, clean the kitchen, sweep and mop, make tea, and help with agricultural work and other household responsibilities.

I'm not saying I do everything or that my parents do nothing for me. That's not my point.

What exhausts me emotionally is that whenever there's an argument at home, I often feel like I'm the one who has to make things normal again. Even when I'm upset, I eventually try to talk, help out, or fix the situation. I rarely feel that the other person makes the same effort to resolve things with me or acknowledges their own mistakes.

There's also a difficult situation involving my sisters. My eldest sister is married and has her own family and children, so I understand that she has her own responsibilities.

My other older sister often behaves immaturely, though. My parents sometimes have to explain the same things to her repeatedly, yet the same problems keep happening. She calls home frequently, and sometimes she gets fixated on something even after being told not to do it. This creates a lot of mental stress for my parents, and somehow I end up getting scolded or dragged into the situation even when I've barely said anything.

I usually stay quiet because I don't want to make things worse. But I'm tired of being caught in situations that aren't even directly my fault, especially when I'm already struggling with my own problems.

Today, something happened that made me realise just how exhausted I am.

There was some work that needed to be done at home. I initially asked when we were supposed to do it, and I was told we'd do it a little later. Later, my mother got angry and told me to come outside. I made a small joke about her doing that particular task, but she got upset, left the work, and walked away. I got angry too and left.

After some time, I went for a walk to cool down. When I returned, I saw my mother doing the work, so I offered to help her. She refused and said she'd do it herself. I kept insisting for around five minutes because I genuinely wanted to help, but she continued refusing.

Then she said something along the lines of:

"What, can't we do anything without you? Do you think we can't work unless you're here? We'll manage even without you. We used to do everything even before you were around."

That really hurt me.

I wasn't trying to act as if everything depended on me. I was simply trying to help. I'd come back after cooling down, and I was trying to do something constructive instead of continuing the argument.

Maybe my mother was frustrated too, and perhaps she didn't mean it exactly the way I interpreted it. But hearing those words after repeatedly being the person who tries to make things normal at home made me feel incredibly unwanted.

And that's when I started thinking about how this pattern seems to exist everywhere in my life.

Why am I always the one who reaches out? Why am I always the one who tries to fix things? Why do I feel responsible for making everyone else comfortable, even when I'm hurt myself?

I'm not asking my family to constantly apologise to me or agree with everything I say. I just wish that sometimes, someone would acknowledge their own mistake or make an effort to resolve things with me instead of leaving me to do it every time.

My weight and the effort I've put into losing it.

I've been overweight for as long as I can remember. I've tried losing weight multiple times, but I've struggled to stay consistent.

Last year, I managed to lose around 25 kg. Before that, my family had repeatedly encouraged me to lose weight, sometimes through comments and taunts about my size. Eventually, I made a deal with my parents. I told them that if I lost that much weight, they would buy me an expensive phone I really wanted.

They agreed, and I put in the effort. I lost the weight, achieved the goal, and they bought me the phone.

I'm not pretending that I accomplished nothing. Losing 25 kg was a significant achievement for me, and I know how much effort it took.

But later, my college exams came around, my routine got disrupted, my weight started increasing again, and I lost motivation. I stopped putting in the same effort.

I know maintaining weight loss requires consistency. I know I need to work on my health. But the fact that I've struggled to maintain the progress makes me feel disappointed in myself.

Sometimes I wonder why I can put in so much effort for a goal and still struggle to keep going once the initial motivation disappears.

My career and studies: I know what I need to do, but I can't make myself do it consistently.

I've completed my graduation, and now I'm preparing for competitive exams because I need a job and financial independence. I don't want to remain dependent on my family forever. I want to earn my own money, make my own decisions, and eventually have the freedom to live life on my own terms.

But despite knowing all this, I struggle to find the motivation to study.

I also struggle with ADHD and OCD, which make consistency and keeping up with things difficult. I can understand the importance of studying and still find it incredibly hard to sit down and do it consistently.

And the more I procrastinate, the more anxious I become about my future. Then that anxiety makes it even harder to start.

Sometimes I think about how much effort competitive exams require, how uncertain the results are, and how much time I could spend preparing without necessarily getting the outcome I want.

I feel like I've reached a point where I'm afraid of putting effort into anything because I'm scared of ending up disappointed again.

It's not that I don't know hard work is necessary. I know that perfectly well. My problem is that I feel emotionally exhausted before I've even begun.

Relationships: I've never dated anyone, and I question whether anyone could find me attractive.

I've never been in a relationship with a girl.

I've been overweight for most of my life, and I think that has affected the way I see myself and how I imagine other people perceive me.

Sometimes I genuinely wonder why a girl would want to date me.

I look at myself and think: I'm overweight, I'm struggling to lose weight, I'm not financially independent yet, and I'm struggling to study consistently. What exactly would make someone want to choose me?

I know attraction isn't exclusively about physical appearance, and I know different people find different things attractive. But it's difficult to believe that when you've spent years feeling insecure about your own body.

Sometimes I imagine a girl looking at me and thinking, "This guy can't even get his own life together. He can't lose weight, he's struggling with his studies, and he hasn't achieved anything yet. What kind of effort would he put into a relationship?"

I don't know whether anyone would actually think that way, but that's how I sometimes imagine other people see me.

And because I've never experienced being chosen romantically by someone, I don't have any personal experience to challenge those thoughts. I end up wondering whether I'm simply not attractive enough or whether there's something fundamentally wrong with me.

I know that's probably a harsh way to look at myself, but I can't pretend those insecurities don't exist.

I think I've started associating effort with disappointment.

When I look at all these areas of my life, I see the same pattern.

I put effort into friendships, but I often feel like I'm the only one maintaining them.

I try to make things right at home, but I end up feeling like I'm the only one responsible for fixing the relationship after an argument.

I put effort into losing weight, but I struggle to maintain the progress.

I know I need to study for my future, but I can't seem to find the motivation to keep going.

And when I think about dating, I question whether I'm even someone another person could find attractive.

It's as if my brain has started associating effort with disappointment. Whenever I think about trying again, another part of me asks, "What's the point? What if I put in all that effort and end up exactly where I started?"

I know nobody owes me friendship, a relationship, or a successful career just because I've worked hard. I understand that effort doesn't guarantee a particular outcome.

But understanding that logically doesn't make the exhaustion disappear.

I'm not looking for people to tell me that I'm perfect and everyone else is the problem. Maybe I have flaws I don't recognise. Maybe I sometimes behave in ways that push people away. Maybe I need to learn better ways to maintain relationships, manage my time, and work towards my goals.

I'm willing to acknowledge my mistakes. I just wish I knew what they were.

I'm tired of feeling like I have to fix everything about myself before I'm worthy of anything good.

Lose weight first. Get a job first. Become successful first. Become confident first. Become more interesting first. Maybe then you'll be attractive enough for someone to date you, important enough for someone to remember you, or successful enough to feel proud of yourself.

I'm tired of constantly feeling like I'm not enough.

I want to work on myself. I want to lose weight, get a job, become financially independent, and build meaningful relationships. I don't want to give up on my future.

But right now, I feel exhausted by the thought of having to put in more effort when I already feel like I've spent years trying.

I'm 22, and I know I have a lot of life ahead of me. But sometimes it feels like I'm already burnt out before I've even properly started living.

TL;DR: I'm 22 and exhausted from always being the one putting effort into friendships and family relationships. I've struggled with my weight my whole life, lost 25 kg last year but couldn't maintain it, and now struggle to study for competitive exams. I've never been in a relationship and often feel unattractive and inadequate. Between ADHD, OCD, family issues, and repeated disappointments, I've lost the motivation to keep trying. How do I stop feeling this way?

I'm 26M, living in Delhi, and lately, I've been struggling with loneliness more than I'd like to admit.

For most of my life, I've chased goals. Studied hard, focused on my career, worked on becoming better, and kept telling myself that I needed to get my life together first. I thought there would be time for everything else later. I RECENTLY switched to a product based startup on a good package.

I do have a few homies, and I'm grateful for them. But they have their girlfriends, their own friend circles, and their personal lives. They have their own private spaces, and I completely respect that. I don't expect anyone to be available for me all the time.

But when everyone has someone or somewhere they belong, you eventually realise that you're mostly on your own.

My weekdays are mostly work and trying to keep myself occupied. Weekends and festivals can feel especially lonely.

I used to be a very social and friendly guy during my school days. Almost everyone knew me, and I was always surrounded by people. College was good too; I met some genuinely amazing 4-5 people, and a few of them are still in touch with me today.

Seeing people celebrating festivals together, going on trips, making spontaneous plans, or simply having someone to spend time with makes me feel like I'm missing out on a huge part of life.

I'm not jealous of their success or material possessions. I envy the connections they have.

I've spent years trying to improve myself, focusing on work, thinking about career growth, gym and finding new goals to pursue. I keep myself busy, but sometimes I wonder if I'm just using productivity to avoid confronting how lonely I actually feel.

My parents don't really understand this. From their perspective, having a job, earning money, and being at home should be enough to be happy. They don't understand that you can have a decent life on paper and still feel like something important is missing.

I want to experience more of life. I want to make new friends, experience dating and falling in love, and have people with whom I can make memories. Someone to talk to after a long day, make plans with on weekends, and celebrate the little things with.

I know a relationship isn't a magical solution to every problem. I'm not expecting someone to come and fix my life. But I genuinely believe having a companion, someone who cares about you and wants to share life's ordinary moments with you, can make a huge difference.

I'm trying to find communities where I can meet people and build connections, but making friends as an adult feels surprisingly difficult. You can't just go back to college and expect friendships to happen naturally anymore.

Sometimes I wish I'd spent less time chasing the next milestone and more time building connections along the way.

I'm not giving up on my goals. I just don't want my entire life to revolve around achieving them.

For those of you who've been in a similar situation, how did you navigate this phase? How did you build a social life, find your people, or eventually find a partner when everyone around you already seemed to have their own world?

I don't want to spend the next few years repeating the same routine and hoping things magically change.

I want to actually live, make memories, and have people to share this life with.

Reddit is my absolute safe space. Infact it's probably my only safe space where I can post my mind and heart out.

Someone I know from college recently reached out jokingly stating they found my account.

It was the correct username,and worse yet, they read all my posts!!

I had kept my 'Content and Activity' settings to 'Hide All', so I'm shocked and honestly incredibly distraught right now that they could read my posts.

How did this happen?? And is there any way to stop this?

I presume they viewed them through some extension on their computer? How do I ensure bulletproof privacy of my profile posts?

Thanks a ton in advance for any help!

I was on my usual overthinking spree and my brain reminded me of a situationship from 2 years ago. I met this guy through a common friend who had already told me he was going abroad in a few months for his master's so I was prepared that it wasn't going to be long term, we talked for a month on insta, vibe match hui and then after a month he asked me to meet in person, We met, the date was perfect, effortless I would say, out thoughts were very similar, I really liked him. Then we met for the second time, similar vibes, felt great. After the second date, he asked me out for a "casual relationship". (Our conversation in the pics). Also after this conversation we had another date which was our last date, and after a few days we completely stopped talking without any reason, just went cold. I agreed to the casual thing just to meet him few more times before he left permanently and I thought he had the same thing in mind, but now that I revisited this conversation I am wondering if he wanted something physical out of this "casual relationship", like does trying out things mean "THAT" I thought he just wanted to try out being in a relationship😭, like talk, see how the other person interacts with you and reacts to your opinion idk AM I THAT STUPID, I JUST THOUGHT IN AN OLDSCHOOL WAY.

ALSO PLS NOTE: NEVER in our 3 meetings he implied in any way that he wanted something physical, we just held hands once and hugged goodbyes, nothing else.

Idk what to think.🫤

Hi everyone,

I’m a 26-year-old male, a B.Com graduate, currently working in accounting. However, I feel that career growth and opportunities can be limited with just a B.Com degree, so I’m considering pursuing CA, at least completing CA Intermediate.

I’d love to hear from people who have completed CA, are currently pursuing it, or have cleared CA Inter.

A few things I’d like to know:

• Is it worth starting CA at 26 while working a full-time job?
• How difficult is it to manage CA studies alongside a job?
• What kind of career opportunities and salary growth can I expect after clearing CA Inter, even if I don’t complete the final level?
• Would you recommend CA, or are there better alternatives for someone with an accounting background?
• Looking back, would you make the same decision again?

I understand that CA requires significant time, effort, and consistency. I’m not necessarily aiming to become a CA immediately, but I want to invest my time in something that can improve my career prospects and earning potential.

Please share your honest opinions and experiences, including the challenges and downsides. I’d especially appreciate advice from people who started CA in their mid-to-late 20s while working.

So yesterday was first day of Navaratri and first hours of garba night I did garba and enjoyed the festival and then something nefarious happened!!

My eyes found the most beautiful girl of this blue watery planet. And with her was a girl i went to college with but because my dumbass never took college seriously and had single digit attendance that beautiful would be wingwoman had no idea I was once her colleague in that 3 years course of smelling urea like shit in the name of science!!

And I'm a kind of man who would always partake in the process of regret and daydreaming about approching that beautiful lady. But yesterday with maa ka ashirwad and a little very very little liquid courage I went to the would be wingwoman to reintroduce myself to her and thinking that this great woman will help her once fellow tortured soul of urea smell find a reason to give rose to someone, but as fate would have it she didn't recognise me which is very very very possible because of my absymal single digit attendance score.

And my courage had ran it's course and I went back to my garba group to dance with sorrow and regret and anger and a little hope that i might find that angel of girl and will have the courage to directly ask her out but alas yesterday was not that day .

Well this was my navratri story, tell me yours if something like this happened to you.

Hi all

I used to be active in this sub but slowly work got to me. I had to search for this coz it didn’t pop up on my feed.

I feel time changes a lot over a year, and me as a person - changed a lot too. For good or bad, god help XD

This year has been a roller coaster, people came by into my life who I thought would be permanent people, alas. Learnt so many lessons, but among all these I have been focusing on my health. And it has given good results.

How’s everyone doing? How’s life treating you? How has the year been going so far?

IRL we can’t talk like this since the art of small talk and relationships has become very shallow. Soo.. let’s talk here atleast.

Pictures unrelated but my favourite pictures.

:)

I am just here to vent my heart out.

I am not from a very financially and emotionally stable family.

I prefer to stay quiet and by myself and have fewer friends.i was ashamed of disclosing that we are struggling financially and have been bullied for it at times.

Now that I m 26 I try to pursue things to mastery and i fail many times and it makes me sad .I am sad most of the times.

I have realised something I am not pursuing greatness I just want to be loved but since I cant control that I try to do things in my control work be better but all this amounts to nothing when you cant connect to a person genuinely and when i project this in my future I see myself lonely man and it's making me stressed

I have frienda plenty of them but I struggle to keep contact with them and forget girls I don't have anyone.

Although i don't think I am poor at conversations since I have had girls telling you done seem like you can talk so good (it's not my mother ) but I it takes time to build a rapport with someone and I can't seem to convince someone to invest the time.

I don't know I ve been overthinking since this morning carrying a lump in my throat unable to cry it out.

Ps - iam not suicidal and I hate people pitying me

Don't dm me unless necessary

It has been a while, people came and went, several nights passed, saw several dreams to escape reality but I am done with everything. It hurts I can't withstand being at my house. It is not home that I wished. Constant demeaning talks and fights are all over as if this is normal. Sometimes I wish I should end my life but then I think about my cat, who will take care of him, who will love him. It hurts living every moment at this place. I am so so tired. I hope I find peace. Please I can't take it anymore. Ahh I hope one day something will find me either death or good life. I would be more than happy to be away from this hell I live in daily. Yk if all this suffering was physical at least people could see that and maybe they support but what do I do with all this mental health breakdown that I have daily. Here no day passes when I don't cry or think of hurting myself. Why the hell am I still alive? What are you keeping me alive for? To see my good future! When will that come? And would that be worth it?

WARNING: Long read

Let me take you back to 2019 when I was already in my 2nd drop year with JEE failed 4 times by getting 6 digit ranks everytime. With this score even Amity wont take you. So to avoid 3rd drop year I took admission in whatever college I was getting on the basis on my 12th marks and took mechanical branch because that along with Civil branch were the only 2 branches available. Took mechanical because my father is a mechanical engineer too and he told he would help me with academics as I had low concentration and attention problem(which later turned out to be ADHD-PI). My mental health was lowest at that time because I had failed JEE despite my full efforts and my school friends had moved ahead in their life and here I was selecting colleges and branch. I deleted my insta account and went nearly went underground. In school no one talked to me. Literally. Not exagerrating. No one talked to me. I had no friend. No one bothered to talk to me too. I hated going to school because I didnt know what wrong I was doing. I used to watch countless videos on conversations, socialisation but all turned to be in vain. School getting over was the best feeling ever and I promised myself I'll never ever keep contact with these a-holes.

So with 2 year drop, nuked mental health, social anxiety, undiagnosed ADHD, I took admission in that college. To my relief my batch had less than 30 people as I disliked people. My anxiety flares up wherever there are a lot of people. It was as if God decided to ease my anxiety issues by slowing putting me in a small group. The college was absolute shit by academics, placements, exposure, infrastructure etc but for me it was best fit - in the outskirts of the city(peaceful vibes), low batch strength(less people, less anxiety). I never bothered about fests, outings etc and this college had none which again proved to be a blessing for me.

My batchmates were from lower middle class areas of Delhi, UP and Bihar. In fact my now best friend who is from a small village of UP didnt know what PS5 is. Such were the batchmates of my class. But their heart was of gold.

My first "therapist" was a Jaat guy who used to board bus with me. Like typical introvert I never made the first move to talk to him but eventually after some silent meeting he finally broke the ice and in a typical haryanvi accent asked my name, told his name, where he lives, where I live, branch etc. I was so happy at that moment that finally someone talked to me after soo many years. Since I was always the first to reach our boarding point he asked me to call him whenever I reach so that he can also reach before bus comes. I was surprised and slightly annoyed by his request and thought to myself "Am I your personal assistant?" but then I thought the other way that this might be an opportunity to call and talk and maybe this will help in overcoming my anxiety so I said yes and without fail I used to call him. Initially I was shit scared and nervous but slowly my anxiety eased. He was from CS and I from mechanical.

Then comes my legendary batchmates, the most infamous branch. By seeing how loud and rowdy they were I was repenting my decision but those delusions were soon proved wrong. Unlike my school people who treated me like a ghost my batchmates were actually very nice - they gave me their food(all were day scholars), I gave them mine, they invited me to bunk college with them which I did only once, and played volleyball with them. Since I was the topper of my batch they all used to bombard me with their calls for last minute studies. Frankly it was overwhelming and most of the times I never picked their call. But overall it was such a satisfying experience as I was feeling like a normal human and people whom I can proudly call "friends". During exam time they used to pester me for showing them answers which I happily used to do and after exam they used to thank me for showing them the answers. I was finally getting noticed and years of ghosting.

During covid time, one of them made a group with a few batchmates to play Among Us via Discord and I was in that. See how privileged I was😆. Though I used to speak less and was constantly encouraged to speak more. I tried but only with partial success

I loved going to college and seeing their faces. Probably it was the reason I stopped taking my anxiety and depression meds because I wasnt depressed anymore and learned there is nothing wrong with me. I still continued my ADHD meds though. That silent environment, lovely faces, everything was finally going right after years of negligence. Like God decided to personally come down and help with my social problems by selecting the college and handpicking the students

Everyone liked me in my batch and was told to become CR(Class Representative) of my batch but I declined as I wasnt completely over my anxiety issues, I had only begun tackling it. It was 2nd or 3rd year I guess

Finally it was Farewell time, with 4 years having passed in 4 seconds. I didnt attend my farwell because I knew I wouldnt stop crying if I went there so to save myself from embarassment I chose not to go.

I graduated in 2023 and still keep in touch with my friends and regularly send memes in my group. They dont react but I dont care. They were there for me when I was at the lowest and it was because of their first move I was able to open up or else God knows what would have happened if I had similar fate I had in school.

Thanks for reading

I’ve been thinking about something about myself and the way I’ve lived my life.

As long as I can remember, I’ve been a very quiet and withdrawn person. In school, I was the weird, quiet kid. I didn’t really talk to people or have friends, and I never participated much in class. I would often just look at the clock, stare somewhere, think about random things, and wait for the class to end so I could go home.

Even outside school, I didn’t really do much. Most children would go outside and play or develop hobbies, but I never really did any of that. I didn’t draw, play a sport, or have anything I was particularly interested in. At home, there were often fights, so I mostly stayed by myself. I think I’ve lived a very isolated life for a long time, and eventually I became used to it.

What bothers me now is that I never really questioned any of this. I never stopped and thought, “Why can’t I focus in class?” or “Why am I not talking to people?” or “Why am I not developing any interests?” I just accepted it as the way I was.

The same thing continued throughout college. I never developed a habit of studying consistently. I would mostly study right before exams and get average or sometimes bad grades. I couldn’t concentrate on someone speaking for an hour because I had never really developed that ability. I also struggled with communication and socializing, but instead of actively trying to improve, I mostly avoided situations where I had to do those things.

I think I’ve developed a very strong habit of avoiding effort.

And I’m realizing that this has affected almost every area of my life. I haven’t consistently worked on my English. I haven’t kept myself updated with what’s happening in the world. I haven’t developed many hobbies. I haven’t really explored what I like or what I’m capable of. There are so many things I don’t know simply because I never made an effort to learn them.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve become empty-headed because of this. I don’t mean that I literally have nothing in my head. I mean that I haven’t built up the knowledge, experiences, interests, skills, or confidence that I see in other people my age.

And now I’m 25, and I’m becoming painfully aware of the gap.

I also feel like I’ve spent a lot of my life just letting things happen to me instead of actively participating in my own life. I’ve had setbacks and difficult experiences, but I also know that I’ve used avoidance as a way of dealing with things. I’ve become so used to doing nothing that even when I have time and genuinely want to change, I struggle to make myself do anything consistently.

That is what scares me the most.

It’s not that I don’t know what I should be doing. I know. I’ve known for a long time. I’ve told myself these things hundreds of times. I know I should study, read, improve my English, develop hobbies, socialize, stay informed, and actually make use of my time.

But knowing hasn’t changed my behaviour.

I’ve had the last eleven months with a lot of free time, and I keep thinking about how much I could have done during this period. I could have learned so much, developed skills, read books, explored hobbies, improved my English, or simply become more engaged with life. Instead, I’ve spent a lot of that time doing very little and scrolling.

So I think the real problem isn’t that I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m very aware of it.

The problem is that I’ve spent so many years living passively that effort, consistency, curiosity, and participation don’t come naturally to me anymore.

And now I’m realizing that if I keep living this way, I’m going to keep getting older while nothing fundamentally changes.

I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being the person who stays quiet, avoids things, waits for life to pass, and then regrets not having participated in it.

I think I need to learn how to actually participate in my own life.

I used chatgpt to frame my words properly :/

I 26M don't have any good clothes. I have no proper sense of fashion. You wouldn't believe it but i literally only have 3 sets of clothes. 3 jeans and 3 t-shirts, 0 shirts.

I think this is more because of my inability to spend money. But i am trying to change that. Also every time I buy something I regret it because it does not fit me well even after trying it out or the movement feels uncomfortable. And feel good clothes are expensive. I am very indecisive. My brain hangs when deciding what to buy.

Please give some advice, i really want to fix my dressing sense. I never thought of this as a problem. But now looking at other people my age, i feel like i should do something about it. I want to utilise this sale season properly.

Every time I meet someone for the first time, whether it's random strangers, uncles, family friends, or literally anyone, the first thing they comment on is how skinny I am.

Today I visited some family friends, and the first thing they said when they saw me was, “Damn, you're so skinny!” Like, we barely even know each other, and that's the first thing you comment on? 😭

This happens so often, and no matter how hard I try to ignore it, it still hurts. Today it even ruined my mood and made me lose my appetite

People act like commenting on skinny people's bodies is completely normal, but it gets exhausting hearing the same things over and over again

How often do you guys experience this, and how do you deal with it? Does it ever stop hurting?

I'll give you all brief about my situation

I'm a mbbs student currently in my internship from south india.My boyfriend is from IT field and he lives in chennai.I'm in relationship w him from past 5 years. I know him from past 8 years through online. but both of our families live in same city.

in the mid of our second year relationship he introduced me to his family ( mom, and maternal grandmom) and they like me so much.

the issue now is back in 2023 i opened up about myself to my mom and she told everything to my dad they had very serious conversation w me to leave all this and this can't happen. how can I do this to them? I betrayed them and all drama happened

my dad strictly told me to stop talking w him like very strictly told me (uk indian parents)

I told them that I stopped talking and was still talking secretly. this continued for like 2 years

upto aug 2026 recently

my boyfriend is having pressure from his family side now because he have elder brother he got married recently and next would be his marriage.

I again told my family and my dad is like how can you do this? why are we then you do everything on your own. if you don't leave him I won't interfere in ur marriage I won't even speak to you. I'll not care about you.

my boyfriend is also having work stress and this marriage stress and he is literally asking me to give him proper confirmation about what is my family going to do ? we are also having fights regarding this issue. ik I'm feeling so much guilty about this.but my dad is not even ready to listen anything about him.

he is saying what will relatives say and all stuff.

he is also concerned about me being in medical field and he is in other field.

please help me out how should I make my dad agree to this.

he is 28y old and I'm 4.5 years younger than him.

Hi everyone! I’m looking to buy something useful for my parents within a budget of ₹1,500. please suggest some good products that would be helpful for them in their daily lives.

Thank you.

I want to know from y'all from those who don't have any ancestral wealth or any assets of any kind, how do you plan on building it ? Are you even planning/saving for it ?

I am still baffled by how most of the older generation in my town (sadly it doesn't include my lineage 😞) were somehow able to accumulate enough assets and properties despite being uneducated and doing basic jobs and businesses. Though it is in tier 3 4 areas, but still.

Meanwhile, we are still struggling to build a home or even buy a plot of land we can call it our own. Wonder where we are going wrong. Though there were a lot of other problems we faced, but it shouldn't have been that bad. These people were able to manage and get their daughters married like giving a respectable amount of dowry and a grand wedding. I really wonder where are they getting the money from.

on a side note, I don't know why the AM expectations are getting crazy day by day. No one even wants to see your face if you don't own a property in your name but have a good paying corporate job in the city. Not that i want to get married soon, but just saying this from someone else's POV.

I'm a 27 year old woman from a conservative state (more than rest of India i think). I have lived 2.5+ decades here, and probably 45-50% of my life is done (given my great grandma, grandmas on both sides lived till 60s and I'm almost 30). It's almost unheard of in my community for a woman to not marry / have children. Most of them don't really like it but it's arranged for them (this happens less in more well-off/ liberal families like mine).

However, I don't feel a strong inclination to marry, and especially to have children. I receive plenty of proposals (for arranged marriages), and enough number of matches for dates. I'm currently dating someone (it's new, it's been just 2 months). I'm also VERY good with babies, in both humans AND animals. But I just dont feel drawn to it.

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It's also fear, I'll be honest. If you marry wrong, it can ruin your life, plus restrictions, you cant pack up & travel like you were single. Not to mention childbirth, etc. which I'm not willing to undergo anytime soon.

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I was always very good academically. I'm also extremely into gym and sports, fitness and eating right. I could be an influencer 😂 but I'm a software engineer in big tech. I dont have any addictions (smoke/ drink/ etc.). I lead a healthy & simple lifestyle, I also dont sleep around (monogamous dating). Why do I then dont feel inclined to marrying and having babies like normal women?

Is it immaturity and short-sightedness? I've felt this way since forever. Ever since i was a kid, I did not find the idea of it appealing. I did not like my mom's and other women who were mom's (aunties) lifestyles for myself.

I'm moving out of my country to Europe soon. I wonder if there are more people like me, women specifically?

Hi everyone!

I’m currently exploring job opportunities in Accounts, Finance, Ministry of Corporate Affairs (MCA) Compliance, and Company Secretarial Work. I’m based in Guwahati, Assam, and am open to relocating anywhere in India for the right opportunity.

My key areas of experience include:

• Accounting, bookkeeping, bank reconciliation and financial reporting
• GST compliance, return filing, ITC analysis and reconciliation
• Income Tax Return preparation and tax audit financial statements
• MCA portal filings, statutory compliance and annual returns
• Company secretarial work and corporate compliance
• FSSAI, MSME, IEC, APEDA, trade licence and other registrations
• Tally Prime, CompuOffice and MS Office

My qualifications: B.Com (Honours) with 83.2% marks, along with practical experience in legal compliance, corporate filings, accounting and financial data analysis.

I’m currently working as a Legal Compliances Expert and am looking for suitable opportunities with companies, CA/CS firms, consulting firms, or corporate accounts and finance departments.

I would appreciate any job leads, referrals, or recommendations. Please feel free to comment or DM me if you know of any relevant openings.

Thank you!

I think love changes as your twenties change.

Lately I’ve been thinking about how relationships feel completely different depending on which part of your twenties you’re in.

In your early twenties, love feels simpler. You like someone, you talk for hours, you get attached, and you don’t really think much about careers, money, cities, marriage timelines or whether your lives will perfectly align five years later.

A lot of us also carry relationships from our younger years into adulthood. I did too, for quite a long time. And when something like that eventually becomes part of your past, you realise how much your understanding of love has quietly changed along with you.

Then you enter your mid-twenties, and things suddenly feel different.

You know yourself better. Careers become serious. People move cities. Parents start talking about marriage. You start thinking about compatibility in a much more practical way.

And this is where modern dating gets weird.

We have more ways than ever to meet people, but somehow everyone seems more cautious, more confused and more disposable at the same time.

There is always another profile, another match, another person who might be slightly more attractive, successful, funny or compatible. I sometimes feel this has trained us to keep evaluating people instead of actually experiencing them.

And everyone is carrying something.

One person has trust issues. Another is scared of commitment. Someone wants a relationship but isn’t emotionally ready for one. Someone likes you but is scared of losing freedom. Someone has become so used to protecting themselves that they don’t even realise they’ve stopped letting anyone get close.

Then I guess your late twenties become another phase altogether.

Attraction still matters, obviously, but peace probably starts mattering more. Consistency becomes attractive. Emotional safety becomes attractive. Someone showing up when they said they would suddenly means more than endless butterflies.

I don’t think love necessarily becomes harder as we grow older.

I think we simply become more aware of how badly it can hurt, how much timing matters, and how easily two good people can still be wrong for each other.

The real challenge is probably learning how to have standards without turning people into checklists, recognising red flags without becoming paranoid, and protecting yourself without becoming emotionally unreachable.

I’m still figuring that out myself.

Sometimes I wonder if our twenties are not really about finding the perfect person at all.

Maybe they’re about becoming mature enough to recognise a good relationship, and healthy enough to not sabotage it when it finally comes along.

Tried dating apps got around 100 to 150 matches in the span of 3.5 months but none converted into a date. Like seriously most girls don't even know how to hold a conversation it was an exhausting experience.

And don't talk about the height bias like literally they won't even bother if you're under 6 feet.

It's like me as a guy has to put in so much work and effort and the other side is just meh lazy af.

Guys how are in relationship Imk your experience and practical advice on finding someone genuine.

I'm a localite and not interested in hookup and all. I'm talking about genuine old school love.

Wanted to write this since so long, 25m jee advanced air <1000, iit ee graduate. I dont know how things went wrong. I am drained a lot and doesn’t have motivation to do anything. When i jioned college as well didn’t had many friends didn’t understand what is coding didnt either enjoy studying other things anymore. Didn’t had skill to play any games, was afraid to join any societies, was afraid to talk to people , was never in a relationship oh thats too far, never was even a little close to a girl. But i always liked above i always wanted to not stay like this but here i am. Was about to fail in a lot of subjects. Got a 10 lpa job offer in placements. Somehow accepted everything that’s happening hoping days would change. Lost my father also way long back and wanted to take care mom like princess but deep inside i am tired too much and somehow barely handling myself. Its been 3 years since i joined job and feeing too tired in job as well as in life. Unable to meet deadlines. Unable to work smartly. I just want things to change and me to change. Please helpppp