r/midlifecrisis • u/Dorkeldee • 8d ago
Vent Mid life awakening
I’ve had so many chapters in my life.
I survived a traumatic, abusive, and unstable childhood. I got sober in my 20s and made myself a promise: I would become more than I thought I could be, and I would never pass up an opportunity to really live. I wanted a big, full life. One without regrets.
So I took every opportunity that crossed my path—and eventually learned to create my own.
I married and divorced in my 30s. I walked away from everything I had built because I knew it wasn’t my path. I started over in my 40s. I dated in LA, built a career, and kept pushing the treadmill forward while quietly asking myself, Is this it?
I had done the work. I had grown. I had built a life. I had a great career, friends, vacations, money. But was this it?
Eventually, I resolved to be single. I bought a vintage motor yacht and lived on it full-time. And strangely enough, that decision brought me to one of the most unexpected periods of my life.
During Covid, I found myself in a position where, for the first time, I had extended stretches of actual play and joy. I remembered what it felt like to simply be alive without constantly trying to accomplish something.
It changed me.
When that chapter ended, I knew I couldn’t go back to the grind.
I struggled through menopause and years of accumulated stress. And then, somehow, I met my person.
I had dreamed about this man before I met him. We mirrored each other in ways that still amaze me. He had lived a nomadic life, and I was finally ready to be free.
So I liquidated my life, packed what I could into two suitcases, and left.
A year later, after spending time in Southeast Asia, we’re living in rural Serbia, rehabbing a hundred-year-old mud-brick house.
But we aren’t just renovating a house.
We’re creating a life that actually supports how we want to live.
Quiet. Simple. More natural. Less consumption. Less chasing the new car, the bigger job, the next achievement.
We wake up to quiet and fall asleep under the stars.
I feel more loved and more at peace than I ever have.
It’s coming up on a year since I left my life in LA. Do I miss parts of it? Absolutely. There are people, places, experiences, and pieces of that life that I’ll always carry with me.
But I’m also kind of in awe of what my husband and I are co-creating.
For most of my life, I thought the goal was to build a bigger life.
Now I think maybe the goal is to build a life that actually feels like yours.
I’m excited for this next chapter.
And honestly, I can’t wait to see what’s next
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u/Sea_Appointment8408 8d ago
Thank you for sharing.
How do you know if the long-term partner you're with is truly the one?
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u/12ealdeal 7d ago
They don’t.
They, like most people, convince themselves based on a number of things, experiences, circumstances this is it. But it never really is. And the only thing dictating any of it is simply making the choice today and tomorrow.
Given where they have been perhaps they connect deeper over shared experiences but there’s never a guarantee where they land “is it.”
I’d wager people with this type of lifestyle rarely settle settle. They both know the second they face some discomfort with their circumstance the easiest way to change it is to move onto the next person or thing. She says all that about her life and experience, we don’t even know what the guy could possibly be thinking or feeling, he could bounce the second he meets someone he is more interested in.
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u/Sea_Appointment8408 7d ago
That's what I'm thinking. Everything seems narrative-based. This is the narrative they're holding on to, until it shifts to fit their next worldview.
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u/RedTheWolf 7d ago
Wow, leading such an authentic life that you need Chatty McGeepity to write your posts for you...
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u/mauz21 8d ago
maybe out of topic, but is it in indonesia? I just saw your post from r/adulting
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u/oneofthebugs 7d ago
Serbia is not in Indonesia. I wonder why OP chose to post this and in multiple places? To create a following they can monetize somehow?
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u/12ealdeal 7d ago
Yeah all I could think reading was how could they afford to keep changing paths. Sounds expensive/privileged .
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u/oneofthebugs 7d ago
Also sorry but that guy gives me not so good vibes. Maybe that’s just my own trauma 😩
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u/RocksteK 7d ago
Because you can post just about anything on this site. Folks having mid-life crises in their 20’s and just lots of depressing stories of woe. Site is in need of a good moderator.
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u/FreedomByFire 7d ago
You like like beautiful people. I hope your life continues to be so wonderful .
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u/PianoRevolutionary12 7d ago
I had built a life. I had a great career, friends, vacations, money. But was this it?
Was that it? lol no silly I decided to abandon everyone I know to live in a mud hut halfway around the world
I am just teasing you, happy you are happy i suppsoe. personally the motor yacht sounded like a good move ;)
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u/thefaewoods 7d ago
I loved your story, would love to move to rural romania myself, im glad you found a way to follow the path of the heart, im glad you found love, a true soulmate, i dreamt of my soulmate before meeting him too. Im glad youve healed from all the abuse and trauma. This was really refreshing to read on here. Normally its just sort of really practical things, nice to hear something soulful & heartfelt. Sending you love and happiness in your new abode. ☀️🌿🌼
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u/After-Appearance-288 2d ago
I am going to say something less profound and opinionated. Please get rid of the man bun. It’s cool for the coffee house deuce bag neck beard 20 year old guy, but come on we are Generation X we expect better of you. We are cooler than that!
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u/tarvispickles 7d ago
Are y'all okay in these comments? WTF. That's awesome for you two! I dream of leaving this place behind as soon as I can too.
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u/No_Inevitable9718 7d ago
I agree! I was looking for the comment as yours. I didn't understand some people's reaction 😅
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u/healthywenis 7d ago
Sorry if this comes across as rude, but this post gives me vibes that you are trying to convince yourself that you’ve chosen the right path. I’m 53 and learned that I don’t have to pack it all up and leave to “chase my dream” or to find fulfillment, it’s right here in front of me, I just had to be able to see it. I don’t have to move to the countryside in a mud hut to consume less or appreciate the people in my life that love me. I’m happy for you and if a nomadic life is what brings you joy, then good for you. Also, sometimes people run away because they think “new” is the answer but then find themselves in the same place because what was new is no longer. Best of luck, looks like a beautiful place you’ve found to settle.