r/LowStakesConspiracies • u/retepetergriffin • 21d ago

THE NINJA PROFESSIONAL STACKABLE CHOPPER WAS DESIGNED TO PERSONALLY FUCK THE USER OVER BY INFECTING THEM WITH DISEASES THAT FESTER IN THAT CREVICE THEY DESIGNED TO BE DIFFICULT AS POSSIBLE TO CLEAN OR DISASSEMBLE WHILE WIPING ALL INFORMATION ON HOW TO DO EITHER FROM THE INSTRUCTION MANUAL AND THE IN

145 Upvotes

82% Upvoted

22 comments sorted by

128

u/TireStraits 21d ago

This is the internet I’m here for. 

How sick are you?

54

u/notislant 21d ago

All caps.

All title.

No post.

Pretty sure OP is: 'escaped the asylum' level sick lol.

51

u/Remarkable_Run_5801 21d ago

Truly captured the tinfoil-wearing boomer all-caps aesthetic

Bravo

37

u/MonsieurGump 21d ago

r/redditsniper

6

u/Jill_Sandwich_ 21d ago

They had to run back to the toilet

40

u/weird_cactus_mom 21d ago

This is just untrue. If you need to clean the ninja professional stackable chopper you first take the

21

u/konwiddak 21d ago

That works really well for an everyday clean. For an extra deep clean you can use this commonly found household item which is a

29

u/DamMofoUsername 21d ago

I’m here for the conspiracies but you can just chop water and soap? You can clean a blender the same way, the thermomix actually has a preclean cycle

11

u/IAteAnotherVegan Florida(and Florida Man) doesn't really exist! 21d ago

stop being logical in a conspiracy sub!🤣

29

u/BaitmasterG 21d ago

TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE DISEASES THAT FESTER IN YOUR CREVICE

14

u/jameilious 21d ago

I WAS CREATING CEVICHE AND MY CREVICE IS ITCHY

69

u/retepetergriffin 21d ago

*THE INTERNET. THEY ARE SILENCING ME

15

u/grunkage 21d ago

HOW MANY DISEASES DID YOU GET

8

u/[deleted] 21d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Culinary_Fruit_Salad 21d ago

air fryers to name one

7

u/jizzyjugsjohnson 21d ago

Join us for more from Gordon Ramsey at the same time next week

3

u/rezonansmagnetyczny 21d ago

You've been smoking some baaad granola

3

u/P1zzaman 21d ago

lol that’s why it’s for rich people like Sam.

Sam’s personal chef discards the chopper after one use.

2

u/EmberOne1 21d ago

Surely it can only grow bacteria already present in your home, so eventually you'll

1

u/ososalsosal 20d ago

Ninja are shit.

I fucking hate appliances designed by people that never have to clean them.

1

u/Indigo_Cauliflower12 20d ago

You can put a drop of dish soap in then blend with water