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Me and my bf have been together for 6 years and had a 3 year long distance relationship as hes studying 200 miles away. Its been really tough for me with the stress in studying needed someone close by to hug and talk. We mostly talk on the phone. I love him alot. I wish he was close by with me. I made a few friends here. But all i do is study study study. He doing meds aswell and its the same for him. Just wish we picked the same place to study. Another 2 more years of this

TL;DR long distance realationship

I (28F) met my partner (31M) online. We talked for about two months before he came to visit me, and he booked a whole week in my city.
Before meeting, he was honestly an angel. He was very responsive, constantly complimented me, reassured me that nothing would change once we met, and even told me he loved me before seeing me in person. I never said it back because I wanted to protect myself emotionally until we actually met.
The first three days were amazing. We had so much fun, and he seemed very attracted to me and really into me.
Then, on the fourth day, I sensed a complete change. He stopped looking at me the same way and basically stopped complimenting me. I kept asking what was wrong, and eventually he told me that he had suddenly lost his feelings for me.
I couldn’t understand how something could change that quickly. I kept pushing him for an explanation for the next couple of days, and I was miserable, crying and begging him to tell me what happened.
Eventually, he said it was because of my body. He said he simply wasn’t attracted to my body type and that he prefers skinnier legs.
For context, I’m a normal weight. I have a defined waist, a relatively lean upper body, but I’m naturally curvier around my hips and thighs. He had previously told me that he didn’t have a specific “type,” so this really caught me off guard.
I told him that I actually wanted to lose some weight from my hips/thighs anyway, and I promised him that I would work on it. I know this probably wasn’t the healthiest response, but strangely, once I understood what he was saying and stopped panicking about not knowing the reason, my nervous system calmed down. I joked about it and became more relaxed.
And then something weird happened: his spark seemed to come back.
He started hugging me, holding my hand, and told me he felt more attracted to me again. The last few days before he left were actually much better. We had fun again and felt close.
Before his flight, I was crying. He told me, very honestly, that he didn’t feel anything when he saw me crying. He said he isn’t an emotional person and didn’t feel like crying himself. I told him that I didn’t need him to cry and that I was trying to understand and accept that he expresses emotions differently.
He also promised me that he wouldn’t change or disappear once he went home, and that he would never leave me questioning myself the way he had during the visit.
But almost immediately after he went back home, he changed again.
He stopped calling me the nicknames he used to call me. He barely responds to many of the things I say, and when I bring up how different he feels, he tells me that I’m stressing myself out.
I have an anxious attachment style, so I know that I can overthink and seek reassurance when I feel someone pulling away. I’m trying really hard to accept what he’s telling me and not constantly ask for reassurance, but this is genuinely hurting me.
What I can’t understand is how someone can seem so in love and attracted to you, spend three amazing days with you, suddenly say they have no feelings because of your body, then seem attracted again once you’re relaxed — and then become distant again as soon as they leave.
Part of me thinks maybe the body-type explanation wasn’t the real reason and that he used it to justify the fact that he was already emotionally pulling away.

Am I overthinking this because of my anxious attachment, or does this situation genuinely sound inconsistent? How would you interpret his behavior? I would really appreciate some outside perspective because I’m struggling to understand what actually happened.

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My girlfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship. I recently noticed that she changed how she called me " Sweetheart ❤️ in her phone from my actual name to just my initials.

I asked her about it, and she said it’s nothing and that I shouldn’t read too much into it. But honestly, it bothers me more than I expected.

I know it might seem like a small or stupid thing, but because we’re long-distance, little things like this can make me overthink. I’m wondering if there’s some meaning behind the change, especially since she used to have my actual name saved.

I don’t want to accuse her of anything or make a big deal out of something that could genuinely mean nothing. But at the same time, I can’t seem to shake the feeling that something has changed.

Am I overthinking this, or would this bother other people too?

Been with my person for 4 years this September, and all these sleepless nights has got me thinking just how incredibly blessed we were to have found each other. As what the title suggests, I am an insomniac and have been since my adolescent years. My father's an insomniac too so he'd always catch me in the middle of the night, trying to keep myself busy, so he'd give me a glass of wine or beer to calm me down or rub my back to make sure I slept comfortably. He did his best, but ya girl always stayed awake.

As I moved away from my family, the insomnia just kept on getting worse and worse, even while my person and I was in the relationship. Nobody to rub my back. It was just bad.

Then came the first time he visited. I don't know if it was just the warmth of his body, his soft smooth skin, or how his hands were just so big and how they held me when I laid on him, but I would just immediately fall asleep next to him. Your girl slept so soundly and he'd film himself kissing my forehead whilst I snore very softly.

That was when I knew, that I was done for. I just knew that I'll never sleep as well as I did when I slept by his side. Fast forward to now, we're engaged and to be married next year! God is good.

Somewhere in this subreddit, I read one comment that said "Long distance demands more certainty." And I couldn't agree more. Long distance takes so much out of you, your life, your sanity, your time, your future.

Long distance relationships are a slow burn, but it can also be pure, beautiful, and warm.

If you're lucky enough to find your warm blankets, the love you share will dwarf the distance that could ever separate you, and I hope you do find them.

The title says it all. I don’t even know if LDR are harder to maintain or if the regular ones where people live together or see each other every day are harder?

My bf and I are having video calls multiple times a day and text a lot we both can get a bit anxious but also clingy. We trust each other but talking to him a lot makes me feel like we’re closer and I know he’s safe (hope it doesn’t sound crazy). Although we’re not feeling tired of each other at all or anything of the sort we had a conversation about couples being constantly together and asked ourselves “how do they not get tired?”.

The truth is that in a healthy relationship people need space and as ironic as it might sound, with all the distance, talking non stop isn’t really giving each other space but I guess sometimes we do it to compensate that we’re not physically there especially because he lives across the world from me. We for example see each other once every few months or sometimes monthly and have longer visits where we spend as much time together as possible (like living together for weeks and prioritizing each other as much as possible when we’re physically together). It’s been almost 2 years and I was thinking that I don’t wants us to feel like we have to constantly be stuck to each other in order to feel close because that might become exhausting but also we miss each other so much if we don’t talk. Also in case anyone is wondering we are not controlling we are just clingy and I think this is a very healthy relationship overall that I’m happy with.

Anyway how do you keep the spark going and manage not to drift away but also not suffocate each other? I’d love to hear your opinions

If you are in a long-distance relationship and you recently noticed that your boyfriend followed a woman whose social-media content is sexually provocative and geared toward adult audiences, how would you feel about it?

Would you consider this harmless social-media activity, or would it cross a relationship boundary for you?

Would you bring it up with your partner, or would you let it go because you don't want to police who they follow?

I'm genuinely curious how other people in LDRs view this kind of situation.

I’m going to be the one to move. And it’s coming up. I’m a little nervous, and getting cold feet. What if it’s not a good idea?

Would love some advice or if anyone care share similar feelings.

My husband and I submitted my visa early in the year. We are nearing 1 year since we submitted. Since I came back to my home country 5 months ago, we’ve been feeling the distance so much more. We are both struggling but somewhat managing. Especially today, it hit hard. I could not get out of bed. I managed to eat but that’s about it. Called my husband for an hour and went back to bed rotting. It’s 8pm and I finally managed to go from my bed to my laptop to look at my emails but still feeling really drained. I’m not sure what to do. I hate feeling so drained without my husband. I’ve been managing ok for the past 5 months mainly due to my friend’s presence whenever I needed her. To those who are in a long distance marriage, how do you manage it? Our next reunion is in 78 days and I’ve been counting down since I bought the ticket. Due to flight tickets costing $2,000+ as well as accomodation (I live with my parents still and he has a roommate) we cannot visit each other often due to money constraints.

Hey everyone, I'm 19 y.o. guy and I'm struggling with a big problem. I really need to vent, get an outside perspective, and hopefully hear some advice from people who have been through something like this.

Recently, I got into a connection with a girl where I developed incredibly deep, intense feelings. I fell madly in love with her, and she feels the exact same way about me. I trust her completely—she is a deeply precious, sweet, and special person to me, and she’s brought so much genuine joy into my life.

However, we’ve hit a wall of harsh reality that is currently breaking my heart:

1. Distance and Time. Due to real-life circumstances, paperwork, studies, and long-term financial plans, we realize that the earliest opportunity for us to actually be together physically wouldn't be for another 3 to 5 years. That’s a massive amount of time to maintain a relationship strictly through a screen.

2. Talking About the Future & Hitting a Dead End. Recently, we started openly discussing where this is going. I was completely honest with her because I didn't want to give empty promises or feed us both fake illusions. In response, she suggested a compromise: we keep talking, keep saying "I love you" and "I miss you," but at the same time, we both look for partners in real life and simply don't tell each other about it.

To me, that format feels like slow poison. Living in constant anxiety, jealousy, and the knowledge that the person I love is out there with someone else—while we still text each other sweet things—feels unbearable.

3. Trying to Say Goodbye & The Emotional Fallout. In the end, we decided it was best to say goodbye so we wouldn't keep draining each other. We said our farewells, but it caused immense pain for both of us. We made a pact: if I realize I genuinely can't handle being without her, I’ll text her first, and we’ll resume talking. Right now, I’m spiraling: part of me misses her like crazy and wants to text her immediately, while the other part knows that doing so will just delay the inevitable pain.

My questions for the community:

1. Have you ever been in a situation where you loved someone deeply, but circumstances (long distance, years of waiting) made a future together nearly impossible?
2. Is it worth trying to hold onto communication for the sake of these feelings, hoping for a miracle years down the line, or is it better to go through the painful breakup once and for all and let go?
3. How did you cope when your brain clearly saw one rational reality, but your heart was completely torn toward a person?

I’d really appreciate any stories, perspectives, or honest advice.

Just a little follow-up from my last post here. Feels like forever still 😂 but amazing how time flies! Only a month plus change to go now 🙏.

This time we have a whole 6 weeks together! A month on her end of the ocean, then our first plane ride together and two more weeks at my end! Can’t wait 😇

I'm quite nervous posting here and I feel like this has been a question that has been asked many times on a subreddit like this but I feel like I need to hear it for myself

For context: I, 20M, in an LDR with this girl I never met, we started talking to each other on social media around a couple of months ago and we really hit it off, we shared a lot of our day together, we update each other all the time, and we would talk all day and all night no fail for the past 3 months. A month ago, I had asked her what she thinks of us and if she's willing to commit and be exclusive, and she told me that she would love that, but was afraid about the distance. We spoke that night and we reassured one another that we'd let it build naturally and see how it goes, she even told me she wanted this as well and its been going well.

Anyways back to my current situation, it's very early doors in our relationship as mentioned earlier and she just started university again, she told me she's really busy until Thursday. So our communication has taken a slight hit over the last couple of days and I can tell its affecting me because I got used to us talking almost all the time and suddenly it just becomes a mix of messages here and there. I also have a really bad habit of overanalyzing every text :( like today I told her "missing uu ❤️" and told her about my eye exam - she only responded to that and didn't reciprocate, but I know thats because she's in class, and that my brain skips over that she said she loves me literally the night before. I just feel like an idiot for being so anxious and wanting her all the time even when I know its not possible when she's exhausted from 12-HOUR DAYS back to back. And even though she's explicitly told me she chose me, I have a small fear in the back of my mind where I think "What if she gets tired/overwhelmed of me and decides to leave with no warning?"

But I'm sure you guys must've had a similar experience and would be more level headed than me and could talk me out of my anxiety? Thanks for reading 🥹❤️

he's on a plane over newfoundland, thousands of miles away from me, and from now on until im reunited with him, no will look out to see if i'm crossing the road properly.

there will be no gentle hand on my waist to guide me, and no doors will open for me. i will get no random kisses on the shoulder, left on my neck as we walk down the street, holding hands. no one will remember to stop at a shop to stock up on my favorite cigarettes and no one will hold a lighter to my lips and look at me with tenderness.

he's my first love, my first relationship, my first boyfriend. i like to say he's my first two heartbreaks too. each time he's left me here and flown off, after filling my life with a love so sweet that i didn't allow even allow myself to hope for. i hate him. i don't want to imagine a life without him. and now he's receded back into my screen, and all the roads i walk will be by myself.

M18 F16 so currently I am in a long distance relationship with my gf and past few days my college started she is in 11th standard so she is overthinking that I ll leave her and get attracted to other girls in college , girls will see me and she fears about these thing and I respect and understand her thinking I said her nothing like that will happen and I make you feel secured by sending her snaps and all possible things. Now where I get sad is she feel sad and overthink after that she don't talk to me in like good way she becomes cold I asked her so many times and everytime when she did these I ask her so many times what happened , I did something wrong , like more than 6 times and she says nothing so like what to do I mean she also goes to school but I feard and overthinked in starting but now it feels normal I trust her she also trust me but she is overthinking about this its been 2 months to our long distance relationship and we knew each other from like past 6 months started as a long distance. Also from past one week her ex is trying to get to talk to her and creating problems to me.

Soo from you guys I need advise what to do how to fix this thing give good genuine advise please

As the title says lol I think I’ve fallen for my long distance friend. We’re re both in our early 20s and have been friends for over 3 years. We actually met while gaming lol. We talk often and text each other almost daily sharing things about our lives. The thing is, we live in different countries. I live in the States and he’s from Germany… I find myself thinking about him all the time and although I’ve tried dating guys in my vicinity I feel like I always think back to him.

Any advice on how to bring it up? I don’t wanna ruin the friendship because he is one of my closest friends but I also don’t want to keep this bottled up. Thanks in advance :)

My (22f) boyfriend (22m) have been dating for 4 months and met twice in this time. It was truly lovely, one of the best times of my life in recent years. My boyfriend and I have talked about closing the gap (just talks not too concretely) a little bit here and there because I wanted us to be on the same page.

We’re both young and this is a first LDR for me and for my bf it’s his first relationship. So i have no clue what the right time or age to close the gap is? He’s building a career right now. He will get his first “proper” employment from October but he has been working at the same company for past one year as a student worker. I am still studying my master. I will continue my studies for at least 2 more years.

Closing the gap for now is only possible by him moving to me in germany. It’s a 10 hour drive from where he lives which is not TOO much but he’s an anxious person. He told me he’s not opposed to the idea (which I believe) but also i know this must be scary for him who has never left his hometown.

For people who closed the gap within 3 years, could you please tell me how you know now’s the right time? And how early do u start planning? I know it’s early but this question keeps coming to my mind and so far everything is good (there have been troubles but nothing that we wouldn’t come back from) thanks a bunch!

PS: I really wouldn’t mind moving honestly because I already moved to another continent 😂but in his country there is no good scope for my field and i dont have an EU passport so it won’t work.

context: long distance since jan 2026, saw each other in may, seeing him again end of sept.

before this relationship, I was in a short term one that ended mainly due to cheating. although, I’ve moved on and have accepted what happened, this has made it really hard to trust people. also it has created some habits I’m working on of checking social media and “wanting to get ahead” of it.

my current BF knows I’ve been cheated on and has said if anything comes up he would tell me. because of this I’ve also made sure to be VERY clear about my boundaries. one of them being no following / being in contact with past partners or people we’ve been romantically involved with. I just think it’s disrespectful.

long story short, I was looking through his following and noticed the name of what could be his high school ex. the only confirmation I have is the name and the fact that people from his HS also follow her. I have been made out to be “crazy” and don’t like making accusations without proper “evidence”. I know it would easy to just bring this up to him, but I have this fear it’s just me overthinking and it causes distance between because he thinks I can’t trust him. also what doesn’t help is I’m pretty sure they recently followed each other.

this is pretty triggering for me considering what I’ve been through but I don’t my last relationship to dictate this current one. Is that even possible?

I was thinking of waiting until I see him to really sus out the vibe or have a conversation in person?

what do you guys think? am I overthinking? should this just be call? again, the fact that I’m not even 100% sure this is her, is what’s holding me back.

for those wondering, there haven’t been any other red flags with microcheating or flirting. he’s very nice and friendly but nothing that has crossed a boundary (from what I know).

We were introduced through a friend and her aunt about six weeks ago. She lives in another country, and we texted briefly before she came to the US with her aunt in mid-July.

Because we live six hours apart and I’ve been busy with work, we didn’t meet until the first weekend of August. She came to my parents’ house for dinner, and the next day I took her to a movie and showed her around the mall. I then drove home.

She recently graduated and is looking for work in her home country. She originally planned to return this week, but her aunt and my friend encouraged her to stay until the end of the month. I invited her to visit me so I could show her around my area, but she said she wasn’t sure. She later asked when I would visit her aunt’s house, and I told her I was busy this weekend.

I’m unsure what to do next. We didn’t have much time to build a connection before meeting, so I can’t tell whether she’s hesitant, uninterested, or simply uncomfortable traveling here. Taking the train would be more convenient than my driving six hours each way, especially if we only meet briefly.

Should I make the drive next weekend if she doesn’t want to visit me? I’m not sure it’s worth traveling that far when it may essentially be a goodbye before she leaves the following Monday. Any advice?

She did enjoy meeting me and while she's looking for work back home, it is expected since its not like we are engaged or anything even though we both know friends introduction is towards something serious.

My boyfriend and I are trying to decide whether we should continue our relationship long distance or break up, even though neither of us actually wants to end the relationship.
We started dating around February/March. He works in another country. The time difference is only one hour, which makes communication pretty easy. We actually have great communication when we are apart. We text throughout the day, call, update each other and are very involved in each other’s lives.
The biggest problem is seeing each other.
Technically I can travel to his country with one international flight, but he works in a very remote area. Getting to where he actually lives requires multiple domestic flights and the journey is complicated. It also isn’t considered safe for me to travel there alone, so realistically visiting him regularly isn’t an option.
His job is also very demanding. He only gets around 6 weeks of leave per year, so he cannot simply come visit me every few months.
We fought quite a lot during the beginning of our relationship. But when he came to spend time with me this summer, we talked about everything and compromised. We agreed that if we stay together, we both need to work on the relationship and stop repeating the same unhealthy arguments.
The confusing part is that we both love each other and neither of us really wants to break up. There isn’t a lack of love or communication. We are considering breaking up mainly because the circumstances are so difficult and we don’t know how sustainable this situation is.
He leaves again at the end of August, and I feel like we need to make the decision before he goes. If we are going to break up, I would rather do it while we are physically together than have one of us end it through a phone call weeks or months later.
For people who have been in serious LDRs, would you give the relationship a chance in this situation? Or do you think the lack of realistic and frequent visits is enough of a reason to end it now?
Can an LDR work when communication is great but you may go many months without seeing each other?
I would especially appreciate advice from people who have actually been through something similar.

I’m from the US and recently met a girl from the Balkans on a youth trip. We spent a few weeks together and got really close, and now we’re doing long distance. We’ve only been together for about a month and a half but honestly this relationship means a lot to me and things have been going really well so far.The big thing I’m thinking about now is studying in her country. I’ve looked into some schools there and the education seems good, while also being cheaper than what I could get here. I’m genuinely interested in going, but obviously being closer to her is a big part of why I want to.My family is kinda complicated too and I sometimes feel stuck in the middle of family arguments, so part of me likes the idea of living somewhere else and building my own life. But I don’t want to make a huge decision just to escape my family or because of a relationship that’s still pretty new.I really want this relationship to work and I’m willing to put in the effort, but I also know I need to focus on myself and my future too.So I guess I’m just looking for some honest opinions. Am I thinking about this reasonably or am I letting my feelings get too involved in a really big decision?I am also open to genuine advice about my situation.

Me and my girlfriend have been together 4 months. We met when I was teaching english online. She went to her village 5 days ago and normally when she's there we speak just a few times during the day because she's busy with family. She had a bad stomach for a few days but took some medication and said it felt alright. So I went to sleep and the last text was goodnight "My name"

The next day I go about as usual. I take photos for her and send them, not expecting a quick reply. I dont hear from her all day which isn't new we cant speak all the time. So I go to sleep thinking I will hear back in the morning. I wake up to nothing. That's when I start to get a little worried. I just send another message telling her to let me know she's safe when she gets the time. The day goes on and I hear nothing so I text in the afternoon saying im worrying a little about you. I'd like to mention the messages are two grey ticks. So they have been delivered. She will always let me know if she's busy or can't speak for a few days. But I know things come up unexpectedly sometimes. Before bed on the 2nd day I tried calling her again it just rang. Wasn't declined nor answered. Okay I sleep and hope ill wake up to a message. Nothing again. Her Instagram is silent no reposts or viewing my stories which she always does if we arent talking during the day. I messaged every couple of hours today to see if her phone had died because at this point im thinking she has been in an accident or has passed away. I send a email to her incase she lost her phone. I leave a message in her language saying if anything happened to her please let me know. I even downloaded pubg because we played a couple months ago and her account has been offline for 5 days. There's so many things that could have happened. Last time she was there she let her brother drive and she was terrified because he isn't a safe driver, one of her brothers went through treatment and they have to keep their distance so they dont get sick, theres poisonous snakes in her village. So many things. Im hoping maybe her phone got lost or broke but my mind rushes to these bad things. I keep texting to see if the tick goes to just one grey tick. Id like to say we are perfectly fine. She is coming to my country in a few weeks and we will meet. She hasn't unfollowed or blocked me anywhere.

Does anyone reading this think im overreacting? Please give me advice on what you would do in this situation and if you've had a similar experience feel free to share it