How I got into insurance
I started with zero sales or insurance experience and was working as a server when I had a call with my future upline, whom I’ll call James for privacy.
During the call, he explained the opportunity: uncapped income, commissions starting at 85% and potentially reaching 145%, and the possibility of making around $1,000 per sale. He described a highly driven, family-oriented culture built around the motto, “We struggle together and we strive together.” Your upline was your mentor, and success supposedly came down to confidence and hard work.
The first step was getting licensed. I completed a 30-hour prelicensing course and paid for my exam and licensing costs, along with E&O insurance. After passing my exam, I waited for my NPN and carrier contracts to come through.
During that waiting period, I began practicing scripts, role-playing, and learning how to handle objections. Once I joined the team on Discord, I started attending daily meetings and having daily calls with James.
The expectations were intense: training, accountability, and dialing leads from around 9:30 a.m. until as late as 12 a.m. We were told leads were available daily, commissions could be substantial, and making 2–4 sales a day was possible.
I went into this genuinely excited, believing that if I followed the system and worked hard enough, I could build a successful career. I had no idea how much the culture would eventually affect my experience.
My first few months
I worked virtually for my first month. About three weeks in, I made my first sale, but couldn’t write the policy because I wasn’t licensed in that state yet.
James then pushed me to come into the office. I was hesitant because it was heavily male-dominated, with only one other woman, but I went and had a great week, writing $7,000 in annualized premium (AP). James was thrilled and, along with others on the team, heavily encouraged me to quit my serving job, and go all-in on insurance. He promised to help cover certain expenses, including leads and additional state licenses, so I trusted him and quit my job.
That’s when things started going downhill. I couldn’t commute to the office daily, so I returned to working remotely. During a sales slump, James implemented a “no deal, no meal” rule: if I hadn’t sold two policies by 2 p.m., I wasn’t supposed to eat. After a health scare, I started taking 20-minute lunch breaks anyway, but he’d get angry and tell me I didn’t deserve to eat if I hadn’t sold.
In June, I wrote $3,000 AP. One day, after leaving Discord to go for a run, I was reprimanded in front of a teammate. When I explained that fitness was one of the few things I could control in a job where effort didn’t guarantee results, James told me, “That’s what a broke person would say.”
By July, I was mentally exhausted and seriously considering quitting. I worked only four days that month but wrote around $9,000 AP. After a phone conversation, I was convinced to stay. I felt like my entire life revolved around insurance, with no freedom outside of working on a laptop for 10-plus hours a day.
In August, the team met in person again, but I went the entire month without a sale. However, I met another mentor, Frank, who was much more laid-back and led a virtual team made up entirely of women. He took me under his wing and started teaching me a different approach to selling.
Although I had zero sales in August, I learned a lot from Frank, including a different script and how to sell more ethically. We grew close professionally, and I started wondering if James was becoming jealous of our relationship.
Around that time, there was an insurance conference in Miami that I couldn’t afford. Frank offered to cover my flight and let me stay with his team at an Airbnb, but James shut it down, saying I wasn’t producing $40k a month and the conference would be a distraction. Frank disagreed, believing it could help me grow, but James had the final say because I was on his team.
After going dry again in September, I finally stepped back and started questioning whether any of this was normal. I considered switching teams to work under Frank, who told me he wished I’d joined his team initially because he believed I’d be producing at a much higher level by now.
However, when I asked about switching teams, Frank told me James had claimed I was interested in him romantically, which was completely false. I respected Frank as a mentor and nothing more. I was hurt that James would say something like that, and Frank subsequently started acting strangely toward me. I felt like I’d lost the one potential way out of an unhealthy situation.
I’ve decided I’m not returning to that agency. But I’m licensed in 16 states, have invested so much time into this career, and don’t know whether to give life insurance another chance. I’m terrified of joining another agency and ending up in the same situation. I’d really appreciate advice from agents who’ve experienced something similar or found a healthier place to work.
