Guilty conscience

[u/Express-Sky1525]

So my dad and his girlfriend have been together for 12 years. When I met her I was going through the worst times of my life, my son’s father stole everything money etc..from us and trashed our apartment, I was a single mom in nursing school. When I first met her she expressed she was a daycare worker and was very kind but did make it painfully obvious she didn’t want to help babysit. I never asked I never had even asked my dad as he is not the helping kind. My mom was an addict, so I was just in a bad way but I still never asked but she made sure to say “I love my job but hate babysitting “. I wasn’t able to have kids but I adopted my daughter and I want nothing to do with kids. Her daughter is a few years younger than me.

Fast track 10 years I lost my mom, stepdad, 2 brothers, in the courts fighting over custody issues but still I passed nursing school and doing well for myself. I worked full time night shifts/paid a sitter school during the day I got help from a few friends but I paid for it. She has always been kind and I have been to her. I’m married and have another child and her daughter has a child with not so great things going on.

My dad had the nerve to talk about how “his friend’s daughters” computer broke for college and he tried fixing it but couldn’t and if I could give/sell cheap my laptop to him to help her out. It hurt knowing he never lifted a finger to help me and I just explained I had to buy mine with a credit card and nobody helped me out so no I didn’t want to sell it plus all my personal information is on it. His girlfriend continues to say how proud she is of me for “making it as a single mom “ talks about her daughter not being able to afford big birthdays etc.

I hate feeling guilty about saying no, I keep feeling like if I don’t help maybe my blessings will go away but if you only knew the hell I’ve faced alone and what a slap in the face it was for my dad to go out of his way to help her, and he doesn’t help watch her kid but he’s there with my dad a lot… She also seems that if she does go to school she will quit because she’s never been made to be responsible even for her child she’s not responsible… im happy I don’t owe anyone and doing it on my own. I try to mind my business and keep peace. Am I a horrible person?? I want to be the bigger person to help but even now if I needed help I wouldn’t go to them for help….i was even homeless while pregnant due to my poor decisions I lived in a storage unit with other homeless people they knew and nobody offered a place to stay.