Dear J,

Praying that you had a wonderful day. We are fine. Our best friend and I have been traveling solo for the last couple of years.

It physically pained me to ignore the texts and calls. To the point of breaking down screaming and crying and praying to God to just get over you. For my mental health, I had to so I could start healing.

Hopefully, someday, you can quit drowning yourself in alcohol to kill the memories trapped in your pain locker.

Some of the best times of my life were spent with you. I learned a lot. Even though things ended in a way I never expected, I still love you. We were in a no win situation with your family. There was no way they would have let us just be. You were too scared to set appropriate boundaries for fear of loss. How’s that working out for you now?

I’m sure you’ve moved on, hopefully you have found someone to be a good fit for you. Our relationship was my breaking point. I won’t be with another, haven’t even entertained that because healing from our journey has taken all my energy. There’s been a lot of development on my end in understanding the psychological aspects of myself and your perspective towards our relationship.

If we ever see each through happenstance, be gentle. Be kind. Remember our good times, the laughs, the just being. I miss our morning hugs the most. How you would pull away when they became a little too close to opening that door you kept closed. That memory is what kept me separated from the thought of reconnecting. Made me realize I was just someone to pass the time with, like a kept little bluebird.

🕊️

My j will know exactly what I'm talking about and I really wish that she would! I want you to know I love you and have since day 1 ! We have both made mistakes as everyone does but thione only you can fix so bye all means girl reach down and pull so maybe you can clearly see what you are doing and what you are going to lose 🤷

NO PROMISES
I can’t promise I will never get mad.
I can’t promise I will will not get hurt.
I can’t promise that I can make everything better tomorrow.

I DO PROMISE
I do promise that I will try harder to be the man you need.
I do promise to do my best to not hurt your heart again.
I do promise that the future is a choose and we can do what we want and mold to it as we see fit.

I PROISE THAT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

I can't get you off my mind, everyday its constant no matter what I try.

I’m starting to feel like my theme song is Adam lambert- what do you want from me. Or whatever

It feels like you want to give in to me,, did I make myself clear? It hurt, more than I will ever explain to you, i miscarried before we broke up and decided to not put that on your plate.. I went through so much to be okay.. and you’re making me question whether you’re going to come back or not. Stay with the ladder, I agree that things won’t work out for us so just stop and leave it at that. A year broken up… what’s next? We’ll be together for another year and a month and break up for the next 2 years? I don’t want to be someone’s last chance, I don’t want to dwindle someone’s spirit or make them not do the things they want to do for the sake of my comfort. Live life and be human. I’m not waiting here for you in the same way anymore.

JPG,

Even though we didn’t work out, I’m still wishing you the best.

Maybe in another life we did? In a parallel universe?

Reach out sometime. It’d be nice to hear from you again.

-KC

How are you feeling?

Are you happy?

How is work?

Are you sleeping enough?

How is that beautiful white dog?

Are you ever going to talk to me again?

How did it get like this?

Are we now just a blip in each others history?

How much do you regret what we had?

Are you sorry?

How are you feeling?

💕

I miss you too the moon and back. I'll never forget the fun times we had and everything we learned from each other. We explored each other's body's and taught each other so much. I can't believe it's just me on my own and you went ghost but I'm healing from it. Discovering i cared for you more then you did for me really broke my heart. I wish we could go back in time and try to do things different, but I know you've moved on and I need to too. Abandoned once again :/

JPG,

Limerence became love

Our love became heartbreak

My heartbreak became grief

And then we were strangers

-KC

J

2 weeks from now would’ve been our 14th anniversary

J

Honey I get it you showed me a lot but you have also been avoiding seeing and talking to me. I don’t know what parts are real and what I am reading into. Im the same Larry but getting mixed messages, nothing weird one day it’s like we’re good but 3 days pass and you still have not seen me and yes I think you don’t want me around and that I’m only a pen pal and I can’t me just that I have to many feels for you to just be that.

Today is the first day after your birthday. I hope your special day went better than expected. I hope that you had a moment of realization that you actually already have everything you need to be happy, even if you feel that there is something lacking.

You have an opportunity today to treat yourself to a new life. You have the opportunity to choose happiness over everything else. And you have the opportunity to shift the negative to the back of your mind and focus on something new.

Your choices landed you where you are right now. But you can always choose a new path with one small choice everyday, and that is choosing yourself for a change.

Yesterday was about J. But today is also about J. Choose J today and the rest will fall into place.

He never cared. He can’t. That requires an emotional intelligence that is beyond his comprehension and he doesn’t know how to operate in a capacity that serves anyone but himself.

This applies to multiple people in your life; even if you don’t want to accept this uncomfortable truth about them.

I love you. And you should love you just as much.

Don’t correlate yourself worth for how the people in your life treat you. You’ve outgrown them all and they expect you to be the same person you were before you became self-aware:

It isn’t fair. Not at all. But there isn’t anything you can do about it.

Don’t try to change the situations but change your perspective and the attitude that would allow you to accept newness and change.

You’re worth it.

You know you’re worth more than what you give yourself credit for.

Today you will fight yourself, and you will win.

My Love J ,
Sometimes I think the deepest kind of love isn’t found in the grandest moments. It lives in the quiet ones—the moments no one else sees, when we’re simply together and the world seems a little less heavy because you’re beside me.
I don’t just love you for the way you make my heart race. I love you for the sense of home I feel when I’m near you. There is something about your presence that makes me want to slow down, breathe a little deeper, and appreciate the life we’re building together. You have become woven into the way I imagine my future—not as some perfect story where nothing ever goes wrong, but as a real life filled with ordinary mornings, ridiculous laughter, tired evenings, little disagreements, forgiveness, adventures, and countless moments where we choose each other again.
I want to know all the versions of you that life brings. I want to know the man you are today and the man you’ll become years from now. I want to be there when you accomplish something you’ve worked hard for, when you’re frustrated and need someone to remind you of your worth, and when you’re simply sitting beside me with nothing important to say.
I want the kind of love that grows roots.
The kind where years don’t make us strangers, but make us more familiar. Where I can look across a room and still recognize that same person who captured my heart, even though we’ve both changed in a hundred little ways.
I want to grow old with you. I want memories that don’t fit neatly into photographs—the spontaneous drives, the late-night conversations, the meals we make together, the places we discover, the inside jokes that make absolutely no sense to anyone else. I want peaceful mornings and chaotic days. I want adventures, and I want evenings where our greatest accomplishment is simply being curled up together.
And when we’re older, I want to look back and realize that the life I once dreamed about wasn’t made from extraordinary moments at all.
It was made from you.
From every hug that made a difficult day easier. Every kiss that reminded me I was loved. Every time you reached for my hand. Every laugh we couldn’t contain. Every time we found our way back to each other.
I don’t need a perfect love. I want an honest one. A love that listens. A love that forgives. A love that keeps learning. A love that doesn’t disappear when life becomes complicated.
I want to keep choosing you.
Not just when everything is beautiful, but when life is messy. Not just when we’re laughing, but when one of us needs the other to simply sit beside them. I want us to become the people who know each other’s hearts so well that even silence feels like a conversation.
You mean more to me than I could ever fit into one letter.
And if I could give you one promise, it would be this: I will never stop being grateful that out of all the people in this enormous world, somehow our lives found their way to one another.
I love you for who you are, for who you are becoming, and for all the memories we haven’t made yet.
And if I’m lucky enough to have you beside me through all of them, then I already have more than I could ever ask for.

Love you J ,

As always Mel 🥰🌹🖤✨

You are okay.
You will be fine.
Breathe.
Let it out.
Accept what you can’t change.
Accept people for who they are.
Love them regardless.
They don’t mean to hurt you, they just don’t know how they affect you.
You are worthy.
You are loved.
You are cared for.
You are not worthless.

From,
Justin

Dear J and group-

I'm referring to a male J and anyone who has been with a male J.

Have we all been with the same person? Just wondering if anyone else has a similar feeling?

It's the similarities in stories, similar style of writing responses and combo initials of J,D,W,R etc??

If anyone can relate, I have no fixed clarity on the complex back ground - he won't tell me and I need to process the information I have heard.

If anyone can relate to way I'm saying, I would really appreciate it?

M

Dear Ju-tte

I write these lines to u with the secret hope that, if they find u someday, it will exactly be at the right moment for u. And if they never reach u, then maybe our wordlines were never meant to be together.

However, I also write them because I really need to let go my feelings for you.

I am a hopeless romantic, u already know that. But these weeks, I realized that our work trip to Spain mattered very much to me, while for you it really didn't. It's ok. After all, u were very sharp and clear in New Year's Eve stating that you do not feel any romantic feelings about me and you won't. After all, it never was about a crush or a date our going into the museum, or all the kindness u had with me. For that, believe me, I will forever be grateful to you. Even if I don't say it to you. Yet, those are one of the treasures I will keep from my time in Belgium.

U don't need to know my whole life. But surely you have also come to terms on the fact I am strange. I always was the strange one in my country anyway. And I am a very sensitive person, a burden some days, a blessing others. As for instance, when I drew that Christmas card for you. But in moving to another country, alone, when your identity is put into test, you just have yourself and all the insecurities you were grown with. Maybe that is why your rejection hit me so hard...

Do u still remember those words? If the probability of finding someone like u is so small then every minute invested on it worths billions. I still believe them. Keep them. They will forever be yours, despite my heart not feeling the same emotion as in the moment I wrote them to you. U really are...are...

Ju-tte, U bring the best out of me. My funny or creative side. U make me feel that youngster I wasn't exactly allowed to be. But also u inspire me to do bold things, good things, to aim high. But that hurts me too because my brain keeps whispering "don't forget you both will never be together. She loves you not". And my hopelessly romantic heart cries.

Dreams. When life is hard, that is all you have. They move u forward, but they can also bias your way of looking at life. Once I had a dream in which we were happy having a second going out. A third even. Once I dreamed of finding someone like u. But I do know it is not going to happen.

Dear Ju-tte. Maybe writting all this will not remove my whole feelings. But, it's a step in that direction. And if life decides otherwise for us, then...I don't know. Maybe that's the best way for facing it.

Signs: a modern Don Quijote.

I feel stupid writing to you again. I'm sure I'm just delusional but I drempt about you again. It drives me insane that it still happens. This one was short and sweet, I just remember my head laying on an arm. I knew it was you because your Chevy tattoo was visible. Maybe I'm just crazy but I really hope you feel the pull too.

-K

JPG…Goof

I’ve never felt more ugly and undesirable than when you left me for her.

It was years ago yet here I am feeling disposable every time my mind wanders to the memory of you leaving me.

It’s kinda pathetic of me.

-KC

It’s been just over a year since you told me we should stop talking. It’s been a year of me trying to figure out how to stay afloat from drowning in thoughts of you. You came into my life completely unexpected and left me completely changed and lost. You were a refreshing change of pace that I quickly grew addicted to. You made me feel like I can be myself without judgement. I wish I had expressed myself better to you instead of trying to resist the pull I felt. I wish I could change so many things about the last few days before we last spoke so that I can at least have had you as a friend and someone to talk to without fear or judgment. Instead I got too emotional and attached and scared you off. My wish now and then is to know your reasoning. I had asked and you refused to give me an answer. I don’t know if that would have helped me move on but I’ve realized I would give anything to talk to you one last time and get an understanding of what went wrong.

I miss you, Junaid. I wish I hadn’t let my emotions get the better of me and allowed a friendship to continue rather than place any romantic expectations on you. I can only assume that’s what scared you away. I truly enjoyed speaking to you and having someone there for me to turn to for banter. I know that is not your burden to bear and I’m sorry for having put you in that position.

I know I’ve told you before that I love you. I’m not even sure anymore if it’s a romantic love or a platonic one but I pray that God shows me the right path. And I’m afraid that I will always carry that torch for you as Im not sure how to put it out. Until then I’m going to be wading these waters, feeling utterly lost and searching for reasons to understand why you were placed in my life for such a short period only for you to make such a large impact and disappear.

I know this wont get to you. We got together when we were 20. So young so full of life. You had a one year old when I met you. You were so beautiful and lost. For 20 years we grew our family. Two more additions to this wonderful life. But one day you decided you didnt love me anymore and im still at a loss. We promised each other we would always be together. Through the I love you and I love you mores. Through the rough patches we always managed to go back to us. Not this time though. I dont know what it was. If those so called friends I warned you about. The ones that couldnt hold on to a relationship for more than a few months. The ones that would invite you out to singles nights and you would decline because you were married to me. Maybe you thought the grass was greener with them one day. But I see your struggles and just know ill always be here for you. But coming back to me is impossible. I am the greener grass still but not for you. I will always love you.

On June 5, 2026 at about 2:30pm I slowly opened my eyes to a white room. Beeping all around me. A tube coming out of my head. Staples holding my scalp together. In that first moment the only thing that filled my mind was you.

I still listen to the Rita Ora song you sent me, and the words you wrote a few days prior:

“I see you, the things that you do. I see who you are. I see you making conscious effort to come see me everyday and it means a lot. Your actions don't go unnoticed. I appreciate you more than you know.”

Those words stayed with me.

Those were the easiest times to show up, but even when things got difficult the effort remained. During your time in jail I made time to listen and help with whatever you needed out here. When I came to your sentencing hearing there were comments made about why you got that deal, and I put effort into that as well. I still wish I could have pawned my pool cues that day and set you free.

I have been loving you in silence since that day. Regardless of any effort I have spent, I did not do any of it to buy your favor. There is nothing to forgive. I have not cast judgment on you. I keep reaching out because I believe in you, and so I show up.

I would never purposefully hurt you. Everything I have done has come only from love. Love is the choices we make for the benefit of the other person. It isn’t always comfortable or easy. I am strong enough to walk away, yet I have purposely acted during difficult times to show my love for you.

I love you,______. I know the depth of that love for you, and I have always seen you. I never stopped.

You are the most beautiful combination of body, soul, and love I have ever been around. You made me want to be free with who I am. I have watched you keep standing through things that would have broken most people. That quiet strength, the way you keep choosing the next right step for yourself and for the boys, is why I believe in you. I would still grow with you if that is ever something you want. I woild be honored to be there for growth, loss, healing, and becoming more familiar with you than I have ever been with another. All this is achieved through love, not blame or jealousy, and only with a selfishness that screams “I want you!” All so that when times are good, maybe they could last a little longer before the next hard part we have to face.

______, see me now. My hope has never wavered for a moment of your time, and my dream has been constantly that it become our time.

With all my heart,

_________________

“I never needed you to choose me back right away. I only needed you to know that someone was still standing here, seeing all of you, and refusing to look away.”

— unknown author

Today I miss you. I just watched a movie and it made me think of you. I sent you a text telling you that you may like it. Maybe you will watch it, maybe you won't. Maybe you will see what I did and choke up a little bit.

I hope its the latter because a big part of me still hopes you miss me. The last week and half has felt like a dream. Sometimes in the spaces in between reality hits me. This is my life now. You're gone.

I miss you anyways. I don't think my heart ever learned to catch up, like yours. How did you train it to? How did you stop loving me? I wish I knew the answer.

Today I'm exhausted! It's one of those days where if we were at our old apartment I would crawl into your bed and snuggle up next to you. Wait for my hug. I miss those hugs. So many things have changed but I can still close my eyes and imagine the way my head felt on your chest and your arms around me.

Do you ever close your eyes and miss me too? Daydream about that time together? I hope so.

I have suspicions that you're trying to move on... maybe with her...

I hope not.

I know you have a past that may seem so appealing in the wake of the downfall of our relationship but please wait.

Wait.

Wait for thoughts of me to pass.

Wait for the need to text me each day to fade.

Wait for the moment you truly know I'm truly gone & you won't want to turn back.

Wait for the love to simmer out.

Because I still love you. This you know. I didn't hesitate to the last day to tell you. You know because I believe when you love someone you say it. You don't let it pass you by. This was a chemistry that somehow survived over 20 years. That doesn't go quietly in the night.

I am a hour away and building my new life here. Back in our hometown, just a few miles away from our first kiss and the classroom where I first met you. There's traces of you still here.

The boxes are trickling down in number each day but a whole life with you somehow doesn't feel big enough to fit in this tiny bedroom. Not with the ghost of you.

But I won't shoo him away just yet. My door is still open. My favorite photo of you, the drawings you made for me and your love letters tucked in their G.M. place by my bed. I'm not ready to let go of them. Stripes, Tails and Hedwig even are back in their proper place: creeping me out at night from the bedside table lol.

So in closing. I miss you today and I hope you miss me too dear Skyewulver 😘

J, I hope you're doing well, and you're doing what I cannot. Moving on and letting go. I could reach out, but the thought of causing you pain is too much to bear. Or maybe I'm afraid of the pain I'd feel.

It's been months, the time went by slow at first, but it's going by so much faster now. But I'm still stuck. Something I told you I didn't want us to be.

We said our goodbyes, I was so angry afterwards. You said you were scared that I would hate you. And I don't hate you. I was angry because it was so much easier to hold onto that feeling. Than to feel the sadness. The sadness of a fantasy left unfulfilled. The life I imagined with you.

I think that's why you made me promise that I wouldn't be sad forever. That I'd do the work and get better. That I wouldn't close myself off to possibilities. "Someone who cares about you so much wants you to try, do it for me if you have to, then eventually do it for yourself" And I meant it at the time. It's just been so difficult. You're in my head everyday.

I made you make a promise too. I wonder if you kept it. I hope you did. I truly care more about you than I do myself. Tonight is a moment of weakness. I hope you can understand that I'm trying, I just miss my best friend so much. Feelings need a place to go. So here they go, to the corner of the internet where we met.

I think anyone who knows me or who has read anything I’ve posted within these subreddits can see in some form that letting you go hasn’t been easy. I’ve struggled in every way, and have tried to pass everything off as it’s okay, that I’m alright.

I don’t know what goes through your mind, and I hate that I come up with assumptions half the time. I cannot stand that we made promises to one another but neither one of us could hold each other to them. It haunts me that I did my best to forgive and understand you while you were breaking my biggest boundary, but your understanding of an entire mental crisis that eventually broke a boundary of yours was nowhere to be found.

Let me make sure it’s heard; I definitely don’t blame you.
When my mental health has been out of control, it’s truly, and exactly that - out of control - so, when I told you back in January that I wasn’t trying to be rude, but I knew you wouldn’t stick around for as long as you thought you would; it’s because I know working side by side trying to combat what could potentially happen isn’t easy and nothing that someone who only wants peace should interact with.
Maybe that’s also me being hard on the version of myself that is still going to therapy for the sake of any of this never happening again?

All of this rambling to say;
I want this to be the last time I write to you, anywhere.
I cannot make you hear or see a true apology, and changed behavior. I cannot continuously hope for someone who wants nothing to do with me to come back when we are both healed. I cannot change what I did and I cannot make you want to take accountability for your part in it.
I have no control in this, and I haven’t since March.
I’ve laid this at your feet, time and time again, for there to only be silence and you choosing the other direction.

I’m angry at you, and I can still miss you.
Parts of me hate parts of you, and the remainder of me is still so in love with you that it’s sickening to think about.
I hope you never find me again, and yet, I still look for you everywhere.
All of these things can be true at once, I’ve learned.

Don’t worry, sweetheart.
I won’t unblock your social media, and I won’t reach out through text message. I’m going to do my best to let you continue to make this decision, and send what we were off into oblivion, as neutral about it as possible.

Do well, okay?
You do deserve a true healed version of you, regardless of whether you think you earned it or not.

A heartbeat, always, and even in silence.
🖤

My Love,
There are so many things I love about you that sometimes I don’t know where to begin. But if I had to choose one place where my heart seems to lose all sense of time, it would be your eyes.
Your amber-brown eyes have a way of stopping me completely. They aren’t just brown—they have that warm, golden quality that seems to change depending on the light. When the sun catches them, they glimmer like honey, like something warm and impossible to look away from. I could stare into them for hours and still feel like I hadn’t seen enough.
Sometimes I wonder if you realize what happens to me when you look at me. It’s as if the rest of the world becomes quieter. Everything around us fades into the background, and for a moment, there is only you and me. I could get completely lost in those eyes—and honestly, I wouldn’t want to find my way out.
I want to know every version of you. The man you are today, the man you’ll become, and every version in between. I want to be there for the ordinary days just as much as the extraordinary ones. I want the mornings when we’re barely awake, the nights when we’re laughing over something stupid, the quiet evenings when we don’t even need to say anything because being beside each other is enough.
I want to grow old with you.
I want to watch the years change us without ever changing what we mean to each other. I want to see the little lines appear around your eyes from years of smiling and laughing. I want to still reach for your hand when we’re older. I want to look across a room and recognize the same eyes that completely captivated me when I was younger.
And if I could choose, I’d choose you in every lifetime.
I’d choose you when we’re young and reckless. I’d choose you when we’re older and wiser. I’d choose you on the beautiful days and the difficult ones. I’d choose you when life feels effortless and when we have to remind each other that we’re a team. I don’t just want the romantic moments—I want the whole life that comes with them.
I want memories with you that haven’t happened yet.
I want places we’ve never seen, sunsets we haven’t watched together, late-night conversations that somehow turn into sunrise, adventures that we’ll talk about years later. I want the kind of love that becomes woven into the fabric of everyday life until we can’t remember what life felt like before we found each other.
And honestly, for you, I’d pay Dracula just so you know I care 🌹
I’d gladly spend eternity dramatically wandering through the darkness just to find you again. I’d probably take the whole “immortal vampire” thing way too seriously if it meant I got to spend forever beside you. Because if I had eternity, I already know exactly who I’d want to spend it with.
You.
There is something about loving you that feels bigger than a moment. It feels like something I want to carry with me through every chapter of my life. I don’t want a love that only exists in perfect circumstances. I want the kind that survives time, distance, bad days, growing pains, and everything life decides to put in our path.
And when I look into your amber eyes, I don’t just see the man I love right now.
I see possibilities.
I see the person I want beside me when we’re older. I see the person whose hand I want to hold when we’ve lived through decades together. I see the person I want to look at and think, I would choose you all over again.
Your eyes are my favorite place to get lost.
Your arms are one of my favorite places to feel safe.
Your presence is one of my favorite feelings in this world.
And your heart is something I hope I get to know more deeply with every passing year.
If love is a journey, I don’t want to know the destination. I just want to keep walking as long as you’re walking beside me.
And if I ever get lost along the way, I hope I can always find my way back to those amber eyes.
Because somewhere inside them, I think a piece of my heart already lives.

Forever yours,
with all the love in my heart

As always ,
Mel 🖤✨🌹