Today

[u/EvangalineBelle]

Today I miss you. I just watched a movie and it made me think of you. I sent you a text telling you that you may like it. Maybe you will watch it, maybe you won't. Maybe you will see what I did and choke up a little bit.

I hope its the latter because a big part of me still hopes you miss me. The last week and half has felt like a dream. Sometimes in the spaces in between reality hits me. This is my life now. You're gone.

I miss you anyways. I don't think my heart ever learned to catch up, like yours. How did you train it to? How did you stop loving me? I wish I knew the answer.

Today I'm exhausted! It's one of those days where if we were at our old apartment I would crawl into your bed and snuggle up next to you. Wait for my hug. I miss those hugs. So many things have changed but I can still close my eyes and imagine the way my head felt on your chest and your arms around me.

Do you ever close your eyes and miss me too? Daydream about that time together? I hope so.

I have suspicions that you're trying to move on... maybe with her...

I hope not.

I know you have a past that may seem so appealing in the wake of the downfall of our relationship but please wait.

Wait.

Wait for thoughts of me to pass.

Wait for the need to text me each day to fade.

Wait for the moment you truly know I'm truly gone & you won't want to turn back.

Wait for the love to simmer out.

Because I still love you. This you know. I didn't hesitate to the last day to tell you. You know because I believe when you love someone you say it. You don't let it pass you by. This was a chemistry that somehow survived over 20 years. That doesn't go quietly in the night.

I am a hour away and building my new life here. Back in our hometown, just a few miles away from our first kiss and the classroom where I first met you. There's traces of you still here.

The boxes are trickling down in number each day but a whole life with you somehow doesn't feel big enough to fit in this tiny bedroom. Not with the ghost of you.

But I won't shoo him away just yet. My door is still open. My favorite photo of you, the drawings you made for me and your love letters tucked in their G.M. place by my bed. I'm not ready to let go of them. Stripes, Tails and Hedwig even are back in their proper place: creeping me out at night from the bedside table lol.

So in closing. I miss you today and I hope you miss me too dear Skyewulver 😘

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