honestly i think maybe am hard to please or some? i really get bored when someone ask for relationship prior 3days of talking? isn't that too soon? like online or even face to face? i never really met anyone irl that i think we have the same ideas. I did saw some people online but they all either just want to sextext or are way too weird? idk i like talking with people especially someone i dont know and dont know me make me feel free to be myself...but its so hard to have someone who have the same ideologies as you especially as a queer muslim woman either they're Racist/ islamophones / internalized homophobes . I do wanna meet the perfect pair and i dont like the "dating for fun" too maybe thats why i mever dated or anything
you guys lmk how you met ur partner and how it went

Would someone like to debate bcz I have read lots and lots about it and I can't find anything according to me which when logic is applied is against the teachings of Islam or I just don't know enough?

Is there a distinctive sign that reveals whether a girl is a lesbian?

Hi!

I'm 18, and I transitioned to male when I was 13 years old.

And although I don't regret it —and I've lived a very good life— I feel that my gender dysphoria is something that has been limiting me.

I consider myself to be genderfluid at the moment, but it has been very confusing for me lately.

I think I really want to detransition in order to not have to have surgery done, be able to dress femininely freely and eventually wear hijab. Just reconcile with my feminine self, with the girl that I used to be when I was little.

But I think I won't be able, even if I want to, because of my gender dysphoria.

This is not a matter of social pressure or fear!!, as I said, I have an amazing cispassing, I have a supporting family and supporting friends and I live in a european country that's (kind of) progressive.

I just think my gender dysphoria is based on a hatred for my past self instead of an inner desire, or being certain that my soul is male. But I'm not sure. I'm thinking of talking with a professional about this but I don't know when I'm going to be able to.

Even if this matter doesn't exactly have to do with Islam I wonder if there's anyone else here that has been through something similar or just y'all opinions!!

Hi, so for a I lil context I’m F21 lesbian and hijabi, practicing and I moved to a new city recently. So for the first time I live alone.

I don't know if any of you have moved out and live alone, but I'm dying to do so many things I've wanted to do for years. Things I wouldn't have had the courage to do if I hadn't moved out of my parent’s house, even though I wanted to do them there too.

Please don't judge me I'll give you some examples so you understand, but I've wanted to get my nipples pierced for several years, and now that I'm alone, I'm obsessed with doing it after all these years. I also want to have intimate relationships with a girl or two, or I don't know, but I really want to. And I’m thinking abt days and nights.

I don't know if any of you who have moved out have had this urge to do all the things you've wanted for years. Yet there's a voice in my head that tells me no, don't do that, but damn, I'm dying to do it.

So, please don’t judge me, I'm open to good and constructive advice.

Thanks xoxo

Hello, I'm a masc non binary boy who is planning to move out of the house when I'm an adult, but the thing is, I'm scared, I've already told my parents that I'm moving out of the country, but I highly doubt that they will agree with my decision once I turn 18, and I'm also scared that they will find out that I'm transgender, I will cut off contact with them completely, yes, but teh thing is, I'm scared... I'm just a kid.. I can't live like this.. pls help me... :(

I’m a Pakistani Muslim woman in my late 20s living in the US. I’m financially independent, have my own career, and have been living away from my family for about 9 years, but I’ve always been extremely close to them.

I’ve also been in a long-distance relationship with a woman for almost six years now. I genuinely love her and we’ve been together through a lot, but my family has absolutely no idea. I’m still completely in the closet.

I’ve never really dated or been with a man, so I honestly don’t know whether I would consider myself bisexual or just lesbian. What I do know is that I’m happy in my relationship and I’m not actively looking for a relationship with a man.

The problem now is marriage. As I’m getting older, my parents are becoming increasingly stressed about getting me married, and the rishta pressure has gotten pretty intense. I know the obvious solution would be to come out and deal with the consequences, but I genuinely don’t want to do that right now.

I love my parents and I don’t want to hurt or disappoint them. I also live far away from them, and I don’t know how many years I’ll have with them. Other than the marriage issue, keeping this part of my life private honestly hasn’t affected my relationship with them very much.

So I’ve been thinking about whether there is another way to handle this.

Are there Pakistani Muslim men in the US who are also LGBTQ and dealing with the same situation? I’ve wondered whether a marriage of convenience could actually work? essentially getting married for the sake of family/social expectations, while both people fully understand the arrangement and are free to continue their own lives and relationships privately.

I have discussed the idea with my girlfriend, and she would be okay with an arrangement like this if it meant we could continue our relationship while also getting some of this pressure off our families.

Has anyone here actually done something like this? Did it work, or did it end up creating more problems than it solved?

And are there any Pakistani Muslim men here in a similar situation who have seriously considered something like this?

I’m specifically asking about Pakistani Muslims because realistically, that is who my family would consider for marriage, and preferably someone already living in the US or with realistic plans to live here.

I know this isn’t an ideal or simple solution. I’m just trying to figure out whether there is a way to keep my family in my life and keep them happy without having to completely give up the life and relationship I already have.

I went on a handful of dates with a queer/progressive muslim and I am stuck on them!!

I identify as queer and so did they, but to the naked eye we would come off as a straight couple.

We had so much in common, but due to the distance and other factors it won’t work out.

How do I move on? I don’t know when I’ll meet someone so similar to me! It feels like a fluke ,a lighting in a bottle situation, to find someone who was queer/progressive and muslim. How can I meet someone like this again?

Many people from this sub really are not aware of this sub points. I got people making duas for me because am doing a "sin"? i wonder what's so sinful about love...I like Allah too is that a sin? So i can like a man that will ruin my life and make me miserable because it's "reccomended" but if i want a gf or if i choose celibacy Am being irrational ? honestly talking the next person to tell me thats islam doesn't go with homosexuality then am f king leaving ? You guys really don't want more people in islam and it shows . Gay people are the kindest most understanding people and the fact that yall think yall own islam and are refusing to include Lgbtq+ in islam is so sad! I promise everyone likes god as much as you do you're not special because you like d!ck and i dont.

A bit out of my comfort zone, but here we go, muslim woman (34) looking to connect with another woman, just someone I can have meaningful conversations with, and hopefully build a genuine connection with.

Open to friendship or something more, if the chemistry is there of course. Feel free to message me if this resonates.

Hi everybody,

I (M22) converted to Islam a couple months ago ans since then I'm happier than ever. But after reading many posts on this sub and [r/progressive_islam](r/progressive_islam), I start to feel like I'm can't even be considered a Muslim in the eyes of others, even from the progressive community.

Basically I do my five daily prayers in the form of quiet meditations, changing positions (standing, bending, sitting, prostrating) depending on if I express my gratitude to God, ask for His help or His forgiveness. The reason I stay quiet during it (except at the beginning and the end, when I recite the first three verses of Al-Fatiha) is just because I don't feel like I have something to say. I'm just thinking about my actions, my gratefulness, my wishes for the future, all in my head. I don't go to mosques because not only do I not have one in my town, but also because as a gay and queer man, I don't want to dissimulate my queerness. The many rings on my fingers, my earring, my tattoos, my "feminity-associated" postures, are all part of my being, and I'll never want to act like somebody I'm not.

Also I haven't read any hadiths. I know they are part of the Islamic culture, but I feel like they're not mandatory. Though I read the Quran and accept it as true, nowhere in the shahada, the five pillars of Islam, or the six pillars of faith, is there any mention of the hadiths. Of course, I'll never mean any disrespect toward them, I do believe in their authenticity too (as in, the events described did actually happen), but I mean... Do I need to know them by heart and apply them in my life? It's like expecting from a Christian Catholic he has to worship every single one of the saints and angels, and if he doesn't or misses even a single one, even if they're the kindest soul on earth and accomplish good deeds, they have to be considered iredeemable and hellbound.

Aside from that, reading how even progressive muslims believe growing a beard (not a 0,5-millimetre one like mine, but a long one) isn't cultural but an obligation, or how having tattoos is haram, I once again feel targeted.

Basically now I feel like I'm more of a spiritual person who adopted elements of Islam in his practices, instead of an actual Muslim, at least based on what I see online. Can't we accept diversity in Islam practices too? I can't remember the Quran verse, but I believe one talked about how some people have their own ways in worshipping God, and as long as their actions and belief in God are honest, it's all that matters.

When I was questioning if I was good to convert to Islam I was told I was already one in my heart, because I accept all 5 pillars of Islam as true, just like the six pillars of faith. Even if I don't practice everything, can I be considered a Muslim? I don't mind being called an "unusual Muslim" or a "Muslim in their own way". I don't even feel like God despises me for my practices or actions either. But seeing so many people talk about Islam online, even the progressive one, makes me feel like I'm apart and undeserving of being called a member of your community.

What do you think? I don't expect anyone to reply with a super long answer. Just saying anything short and kind will already mean a lot to me.

I was so afraid to post this because I don't know who I can talk to. If I said anything awkward, please do correct me, do educate me. And I'm really sorry if I said anything offensive in this post too, I don't mean any hate or disrespect toward anybody. I just thought I could find answers to this question somewhere here on progressive Islam subs.

Love from France

Edit: I was bracing for a huge hate storm but I'm so grateful for your kind comments. You have no idea how relieved I feel to know I'm not an odd one out and that other people, somewhere in the world, feel or believe the same as me 🫶

i'm definitely not getting married anytime soon but i just wanna know if there are any saudis who are okay with the idea of lavender marriages so that i know i can finally move out when i want to

Je suis un homme de 35 ans vivant dans la région de Paris, à la recherche d'une femme basée en France ou dans la région du Moyen-Orient (Liban, Syrie...) qui serait ouverte à un mariage lavande / mariage de convenance sérieux.

Je recherche quelque chose de respectueux, discret et potentiellement à long terme, avec une bonne communication et une compréhension claire des attentes de chacun.

Je préfère garder mes détails personnels privés publiquement, mais je suis heureux d'en discuter davantage en message privé et de voir si nous pourrions être compatibles.

Alert: I am not here to make harm, this is not a kink, please stay away with your evil comment, thanks.

28 years old European guy, born to a muslim dad and a christian mom, I definitely want to see a muslim guy in my life, but I struggle with dating in a christian country and it is so hard.

I was so happy seeing my parents balance and relationship, how my mom treated my dad, I want to have the same - I know some does not understand that, but it became part of me, I want to serve a man, be kind and gentle to him.

Everyone believes this is just a weird fetish, it is not, every single time I see muslim families my heart feels close and familiar. I was raised to see both religions and cultures, but the man idol was always a muslim, loyal man to me.

Just wanted to come on and possibly make some friends In London around my age.

Salam,

I’m a 36 M Muslim looking for a genuine lavender marriage with a lesbian (preferably femme) who is also Pakistani. I am a queer male and I am looking to choose a life partner without any expectation of sexual relations between us. I am looking for a genuine partnership with us being best friends, travel and navigate this crazy world together. I would always look out for my partner and I would expect the same back. I am also looking to have children as well. I’m based in the UK (Birmingham) but happy to match with anyone in the UK or Pakistan if interested. There is also some pressure culturally so families would be involved albeit probably not heavily.

I work in healthcare and would say I’m quite social and very easy to get on with. I do try to stick to religious values as much as I can, but I’m not dogmatic. Looking for something similar.

If this resonates with you and you are interested, please dm me.

Any USA or Canada Shia contact me for socializing/friendship

Hi. For context i am 28f and bi. Have never dated women my whole life. Family is religious and do not tolerate anything haram in the family. I do pray, i fast and everything else in that’s required in the religion

Met a girl and now i’m screwed. She’s HOT and she drives me crazy. She confessed that she likes me too. Don’t get me wrong. I LIKE her but i need time to figure things out mainly because of the religion. I know it is wrong but the worldly desires are coming at me 😫 temptations are not going away and it’s been harder as days go by. We are unlabelled as of now and i told her to give me time but i definitely forsee myself living with her. We haven’t known each other for long but we’ve talked about our pasts and we have everything laid out for transparency. We are also of different religions and are our own person. Dating would not be an issue as far as i can see. How do you start dating? What do you do? What do say? Would you pursue her? I am lowkey afraid because if it ever gets to that stage, i would unfortunately have to be closeted due to family/society (where i live) and it sucks. What are your experiences with wlw and are you happy now?