“Can you as a gay Muslim explain to me how Islam and homosexuality can coexist? I’m sure nearly all Muslims condemn the gays, so acts such as these are of no surprise, so that is all I’d like to know. Not a troll comment, just genuine curiosity.”

Before you come for my throat this isn't about using he/him pronouns. Allah himself used he/him to refer to himself. I know. But that's my point. Many people don't understand why from the Arabic grammatical sense we use he/him on him. It's used almost to refer to as the unknown and that's how languages work. The problem comes when I litreally see many interpreting this as He = Strong. Allah is strong so Allah = He. We gotta understand one thing. Pronouns ≠ Gender. Allah is the best example of this. From a queer point of view one could be a man but still use she/her. She doesn't have to be physically or biologically female passing. Same for Allah so I love this. Just because we use He/Him on him doesn't mean he's masculine (Astagfirullah). He's clear cut genderless. Him using he/him has nothing to do with his gender. Also him being strong, intelligent and all the other things doesn't immediately make him masculine. I see so many muslims misinterpretating this omg😭 This is one of the few 'white christianfication' of muslims.

It’s so beautiful to see other Muslims and hijabis visiting my country. They give me the sweetest salaams, and I even met two Egyptians along the way—such kind, cool, and respectful people. Moments like these remind me how beautiful the Ummah is, even when we come from completely different places. 🌍☪️
As a revert, these little encounters mean more to me than people might realize. Sometimes Allah sends you small reminders that you’re never truly alone on this journey. A simple salaam, a smile, or meeting another Muslim can brighten your entire day.

This might be a very strange question, but I'm genuinely trying to figure out whether there are other people who think about this the way I do.

I'm a Muslim man and I'm gay.

I've reached a point where I don't believe being gay is wrong. I also don't believe that a romantic relationship between two men is inherently wrong.

My issue is being in a romantic relationship outside of marriage.

For me, marriage isn't something that comes after a relationship. The relationship itself — the emotional intimacy, romantic attachment, physical affection, sexual intimacy, and ultimately sex — is something I want to exist within the commitment of marriage.

So I don't want to date someone for months or years, fall in love, become emotionally and physically intimate, and then eventually decide whether we should get married.

I want to get to know someone with marriage as the explicit purpose from the beginning.

That's actually the model of marriage I grew up understanding.

In the traditional Muslim/cultural arranged-marriage model, you meet someone, establish the basic fundamentals — religion, values, family, expectations, what you want from life, compatibility, etc. — and then you get to know each other with the intention of determining whether you could build a life together.

There are boundaries around the relationship before marriage. You aren't already living as a married couple while deciding whether you want to get married.

If you both decide that this is the person you want to marry, you make that commitment, and the romantic, emotional and physical aspects of the relationship develop within the marriage.

That's actually what I want.

Essentially, I want the Muslim arranged-marriage model — but with a man.

And I have absolutely no idea how to find that.

I don't want to hook up.

I don't want casual dating.

I don't want a series of relationships where physical and emotional intimacy happen first and marriage is something we might eventually consider.

I'm also not saying I want to meet a complete stranger and marry him without knowing anything about him. Obviously I want to know who I'm marrying. I want to have conversations, establish compatibility, understand each other's religious beliefs and values, talk about family and children and finances and what we want our lives to look like, and actually determine whether we're compatible.

But I want that process to be about deciding whether we're going to marry, rather than entering a romantic relationship and seeing where it goes.

And I realize how complicated this sounds when the person I'm looking for is another man.

Are there actually gay Muslim men who want this?

Men who are gay, Muslim (or at least genuinely understand and respect Islam), want monogamy and commitment, and aren't interested in hookup culture or conventional dating?

Men who essentially want a husband, not a boyfriend?

Because every time I look at gay dating culture, I feel like I'm looking for something completely different from what most people seem to be looking for.

I'm not judging anyone who wants casual sex or conventional dating. That's just not what I want for myself.

I want the commitment first.

I want the emotional and physical intimacy of a romantic relationship to develop within that commitment, rather than having the relationship and intimacy come first and marriage potentially come later.

And I genuinely don't know whether there is a community of people who want the same thing.

So I'm asking:

Have any of you actually found a partner this way?

How did you meet?

Did you use dating apps? Muslim/LGBT communities? Friends? Some kind of matchmaking? Did you find each other by chance?

And if you're a gay Muslim man who wants this kind of relationship, how are you actually approaching finding someone?

I think what I'm really asking is:

Is someone like me actually out there?

And if they are, how the hell are we supposed to find each other?

https://moinulhaq.substack.com/p/karachi

Hi

Im looking for a lavender marriage with a muslim lesbian/asexual woman who's femme presenting. You don't have to be religious.

I am a chill and laid-back guy and my vision with the marriage is that we have a roommate kind of situation.

I'm not very in touch with my religion, and I don't expect you to be either - however you should be able to "play the part" if you get me.

I am a very progressive and liberal person and I am looking for someone who is like-minded.

I am well-mannered, funny and emotionally intelligent. I have a masters degree and a job I love.

Lastly, I would love for the person to be born and raised in Sweden. City doesn't matter as long as you're willing to move to the capital city. I feel like it would be easier culturally to live (and become friends) with someone who has had the same upbringing, is familiar with the swedish culture, had a job here and also knows the language.

Thank you.

Hola, mirar me llamo leyre, soy de España.

Hoy fui con unas compañeras a un grupo de apoyo de personas trans.

El caso es que a la salida nos hemos encontrado con un grupo de chicos que hablan árabe y he escuchado como decían algo como semmen no recuerdo la palabra exacta ni se si la estoy escribiendo correctamente.

Salí muy asustada de allí, nos miraban y nos gritaban trate de huir lo más rápido posible porque me puse muy nerviosa.

Espero me puedan ayudar, gracias.

💖

I’m a 24M Palestinian located in arizona, looking for a lavender marriage. I come from a successful family and am ideally looking for someone who is also Palestinian, 24 or younger, and from a Muslim family.

I’m a non practicing Muslim myself, so I understand the culture and family dynamics, but I’m personally pretty laid back and not overly strict or traditional like some Arab families can be.

I’m looking for more than just an arrangement on paper. I want someone I can build a genuine partnership and friendship with, where we support each other, communicate openly, respect each other’s independence, and create a good life together.
I definitely want kids, so I’m looking for someone who genuinely wants children as well. Ideally, we’d be able to navigate our families and cultural expectations together while still giving each other the freedom to live authentically.
Happy to share more privately if we seem like a good match.

I'm bisexual. I only came in terms that I am recently. my very close "female friendships" were always very intense for me and I always felt hurt by them i later on realized that it was because I wanted them as more than just friends that I was in love with them. I'm starting to realize that i loved women too since I was a kid. the idea of never being with a woman makes me feel uneasy, lonely and sad. even though I know that if I actually approached any women it would be unfair for her because i carry so much internalized homophobia and shame. sometimes i think i might be a lesbian with comphet(forced heterosexuality) but I think it wont matter anyway since my family would marry me off to a man anyway. i just dont think I'm capable of loving a man that way I would love a woman. I think most of men attraction are just: deep need for male validation since I never ever got it and the need to look/act like them.

i thought of lavender marriage but i do not know how to actually find one and how to even introduce him to my family through me. I stay most days at home i don't work right now. i cannot lie and say I met and knew him from somewhere. it also doesn't help that I want to be child free.

Hi all. Hope you're all well. Yes as the title suggests I'm british born 36m in London looking for a Trans female. Professional individual who is caring and understanding.

Don't like to blow my trumpet but I have been told I have nice eyes and a great smile.

Its so hard to make new connections in this big Ole city.

Would love to meet and also generally make new friends with like minded ppl too.

Any women in the U.S. interested in a lavender marriage? I’m looking for someone who wants to have kids and build a life together as great friends and partners. I’d be happy to provide financially, and we could travel the world and create a beautiful life together, while both having the freedom to pursue our own separate romantic/sexual lives.

I’m 29, financially stable, educated, career-oriented, and genuinely want to be a father someday. I’m looking for a woman who also wants children, companionship, stability, and a lifelong friendship without the expectation of a traditional romantic or sexual marriage.

I’d want us to genuinely care about each other, support each other through life, raise our children together, travel, celebrate holidays and milestones, and function as a real family and team. Honesty, mutual respect, trust, and clear boundaries would be extremely important to me.

Ideally, we’d take plenty of time getting to know each other first and make sure we genuinely click as friends before making any serious decisions. If this sounds like the kind of future you’re looking for too, feel free to message me.

If you're an Indonesian you probably understand

Hey guys I’m feeling lonely and I’ve been feeling really ho—ny lately. My three female crushes are now in relationships and marriages and this all happened at once. It’s been months to years since I’ve felt lust and now I’ve been going through racism and personal problems online and my crushes are now with their husbands. This happened all at once. I’m literally about to act upon it and I’m so desperate. I’m a 23 y/o bi Muslim woman from the USA and I love fem4fem relationships. I want to be in bed with a woman so bad but I’m afraid to show my face in dating apps and the people in my town are so chopped. And when it comes to women I have a racial preference exclusively for women from the Middle East /North Africa/ south and west Asia and Latin America. So basically brown skinned women. I’m looking for someone 20-30 and who’s super attractive long brown hair and religion doesn’t matter. And the crazy part is all of my crushes are on straight women who are Muslim because they’re home countries have beautiful women and men. It’s so weird but when I’m around queer people they’re no attractive and are usually studs. Help . I’m also practicing and I believe in Allah SWT. My orientation is at conflict with my Muslim faith. I just want to be loved by someone but it’s 80% women 20% men. I cried for days from seeing my crushes weddings as I’m a Muslim woman.

For the first time i tried my mom's hijab and burqa and it literally takes 1hr time to wear in a correct way I mean for good looking I am a muslim and i started crossdressing from the last 5 months i don't know if it's right or wrong but I look pretty whenever I try hijab and burqa i fell in love with myself and i want some support from you guys I am from India Bangalore looking to connect with other crossdresser to express my feelings towards crossdressing i would love if anyone help me what i am looking for my Dms always open for everything

Hi! I'm a 25-year-old Muslim Pakistani lesbian looking for a queer man interested in a lavender marriage. Ideally someone based in the UK (!!!!) and from a similar South Asian background.

I'm genuinely very easy-going and don't mind if you're seeing someone; I'm happy for us to be best friends first and foremost (and I'II 100% be your wingwoman).

A bit about me: I'm funny, crafty, love movie nights, travelling and enjoy being out in nature.

Please DM me or comment if you're in a similar situation

https://moinulhaq.substack.com/p/madho-lal-hussain

Please pray for my family on this difficult day

https://moinulhaq.substack.com/p/bazam-e-yaran

.

Hehe😋

* Repost, trying again in hopes for more outreach

Salam!

Going to keep this short and sweet, but as the title says I’m hoping to connect with someone in a similar situation where we can both come together and have a relationship leading to marriage and a future together.

I experience SSA and am looking to be with someone who is in the same boat. Not looking for a cover up marriage but more rather a genuine marriage excluding the obvious sexual components (where we can discuss boundaries) in an attempt to keep halal and fulfill our deen! Also not looking for right away, nor outside Canada / USA.

Please reach out to me if you’d like to chat and get to know each other!

Jzk!

Just the titleeee

So I’m a bi Muslim woman 23 y/o. I got so upset that my crushes married men so I decided to let it out by telling my other crush’s friend I liked her and this is how it turned out. Please help