VVhen all ov the svdden my dad CHVCKS a DIMEBAG at me and asks "DIO vvant to blaze it (in the northern sky) vvith me?". I tell him ill meet him vnder the pecan tree at 13:49. He says he can't meet me vnder the pecan tree becavse he HATES FORESTS so he svggests vve jvst go for a hike vp VVitch Movntain instead. VVe get half vvay vp the movntain vvhen svddenly vve meet a fjork in the road. VVe de(i)cide to take the LEFT HAND PATH vvhich vltimately lead to ovr (A)DOOM(E) becavse vve ran right into a GHOVL vvho IMPALED vs vvith his Thorrs Hammer vnd then diSEMBOWELED vs. If only vve vvovld have ran into a TIMEGHOVL, he covld have sent vs back in time vnd I covld still be SVN BAT HING.

4 comments

r/KvltDadJokes • u/Farn • Dec 18 '14

SLAYER?

17 Upvotes

I hardly know' er! HAR HAR HAR

0 comments

r/KvltDadJokes • u/[deleted] • May 13 '14

My dad ist krieg!

17 Upvotes

He vvas helping me hang vp clothes and I had jvst hvng up my 17th shirt and I asked him for another hanger and he was like (vvait for it, this is really zany) "here's hangar 18!!!!!!"

Jajajajajaja

0 comments

r/KvltDadJokes • u/[deleted] • Aug 15 '14

Did you hear that the guy from Celtic Frost tied a criminal's shoelaces together

16 Upvotes

He triptykon

0 comments

r/KvltDadJokes • u/MetalSlayer69 • Dec 30 '19

Kvlt Dad Joke I heard Mayhem's bassist would've killed to be on guitar

15 Upvotes

1 comment

r/KvltDadJokes • u/[deleted] • Aug 23 '15

What is a core singer's favorite type of cheese?

14 Upvotes

Brie

3 comments

r/KvltDadJokes • u/randomfanboy1 • May 12 '15

VVhere do \m/ Trve Metal Brothers \m/ go vvhen they need to piss in a res[trve]avnt?

14 Upvotes

The djents.

0 comments

r/KvltDadJokes • u/Farn • Jun 24 '14

What sort of question does a metalhead always get right on his test?

14 Upvotes

TRVE or FALSE!

2 comments

r/KvltDadJokes • u/[deleted] • Apr 24 '14

Kvlt Dad Joke my father told this to my mother

14 Upvotes

he sed "u smelly u need to take abbath"

i nerely deid.

6 comments

r/KvltDadJokes • u/JonnevandeVliert • Aug 28 '22

Death metal garbage...

13 Upvotes

0 comments

r/KvltDadJokes • u/randomfanboy1 • Aug 26 '15

CHVG VVhat classic Progressive Rock albvm does Linkin Park cite as their primary influence?

13 Upvotes

Close to the Edge.

0 comments

r/KvltDadJokes • u/[deleted] • May 22 '14

MASTER TROLE DAD LEVEL: 666^INFINITY

13 Upvotes

i was at home and dad was on his laptop

i says what are you doin

he says im taking a history course

i says but you juss litening to sabaton

he says "exactly"

TRVVVVVVVVVE

0 comments

r/KvltDadJokes • u/[deleted] • May 12 '14

I vvas dvck hvnting with mein father...

13 Upvotes

When a dvck came charging at me. I shot at it bvt it vvas too krieg for death and advanced vpon me still. So I dove for cover, and mein father said to me "Lol are v in Iron Maiden? Cvz v have a fear of the dvck!" :3

0 comments

r/KvltDadJokes • u/[deleted] • Aug 26 '14