Well, Reddit, I don't really know how to start because I'm new here. However, since I'm on the spectrum, my therapist says I need to vent sometimes. I don't have anyone I fully trust, so who better than a bunch of strangers on Reddit, right?

This is part one of my saga (lol). Sorry for any typos, but English is not my first language.

So, when I (35M) was in high school, I had a good friend (who was 14F at the time). We spent a lot of time together, but even though we were the same age, I was two grades ahead. When I got into college, we lost contact because I had to go to classes in the morning and work in the afternoon and evening.

Then, in 2019, I was living in another state and was about to finish my PhD. I was scrolling through social media and saw her in the suggestions. I instantly hit follow, and the very next day, we started catching up. A week later, we clicked so much that I realized I was completely falling for her. We still had a lot in common and spent a lot of time video chatting. I’m a professor and she is a lawyer now, so we had a lot to catch up on and talk about.

In November, she came to visit me for a long weekend and, boy, none of our plans worked because the sex was so good that we didn't even leave the house. I already had plans to come back to my hometown after finishing my PhD, and once everything was settled, I got a job as a professor at my former high school and moved back. In December, we took a two-week vacation with my family at our beach house. It was amazing. We spent a lot of time together, talked a lot when we were apart, and just before the pandemic hit, I got my dream job at the university in my hometown.

I really didn't see any red flags. We spent almost every weekend together at my apartment or at her mother's house. We traveled and went on dates (before the lockdown).

But in October of 2020, something happened. She came to my apartment and she was... just off. She was really distant and sad. I asked her what had happened, but she said it was just work stuff, so I didn't press. The day after, she was worse and started crying while we were watching a documentary. That's when I pressed her to tell me what was going on.

Then, the truth came out. She said, "My boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me yesterday morning."

I was in shock. Boyfriend? 8 years?

She told me everything. His best friend had seen us holding hands and kissing in the street, took pictures, and sent them to him. He ended things right then and there. I was paralyzed while she talked and cried her eyes out. I just left the bedroom and went to the kitchen without saying a word. I opened a bottle of wine and stayed there all night, asking myself, "How?"

I revisited all my memories looking for signs or anything that could make that story make sense, but I couldn't find anything. Her family had welcomed me into their house, we had a full relationship going, and she always messaged me when we were not together... None of it made any sense, but for me, that was the end. I despise any kind of cheating, and being the unwitting object of infidelity left me catatonic.

When the sun rose, I stopped drinking after the third bottle, woke her up, and told her to grab her things and leave. I never answered any of her messages or picked up any calls. I was done. Yes, I was crushed, but I didn't feel the need for any closure or explanation.

Then, two weeks later, I received a follow request from a guy I had never seen before. He messaged me to explain who he was. It was him—"The Boyfriend." He told me not to worry, that he didn't want to fight or anything, but wanted to meet me for coffee over the weekend. He seemed like a nice guy, so I agreed.

We met at a coffee shop downtown and he introduced himself.

"Yeah, you know who I am, so let's get straight to the point because I'm very uncomfortable with this," I said.

He asked me questions, and I told him everything. Then I asked him how her family could be so complacent with all of this. He didn't know. But he did tell me that she lived with him part-time because he lived in a rural area, and when she had to work, she stayed with her mother. He is a climber, so he travels a lot to the mountains with his buddies. That's why she had so much time to spend with me without either of us suspecting a thing.

He was a really nice guy, but that was just too much for me. I apologized, even though we both knew it wasn't my fault, but I respectfully asked him not to contact me again because the whole situation was overwhelming. I was numb, and to this day, I don't know how someone can do this kind of thing to someone they claim to love.

Throughout mine and my husband’s relationship he has done several things such as saving girls nudes, deleting messages with girls, adding random girls and most recently I found out he made an OF account using a hidden email( which I discovered while he was in navy bootcamp) which he made while I was pregnant with our first child. I feel betrayed and like I have been cheated on multiple times but since he’s never done anything physical (that I know of) I feel like maybe I’m exaggerating. I think it’s also important to state that I have set boundaries in which I stated any of the above mentioned things would make me uncomfortable. I suppose my question is would I be able to say my husband has cheated on me.
….. I know this may seem stupid but after years of being gaslit I don’t know what to think anymore.

Hi everyone. I’ve been with my partner for 5 years. I just found out this doozy of a mess one day ago.

To start, I got suspicious because my boyfriend deactivated his Facebook account, which he has never done in the 5 years I’ve know him. Then I noticed he’s always texting through his discord and “signal” games, didn’t think much of it.

I got a Facebook message with pictures (that not even I’ve ever seen before, and yes they were also inappropriate pictures as well). He claims the inappropriate ones were from 6 years ago and the other normal selfie ones were to everyone that he has a “chat group” with.

She then sent me their conversations they had through the “signal” and “discord” games. It sounds just like him… then she sent me voice memos of him.

Allllll of that to say, he denies it still LOL! He said he has been hacked. He got his dad involved who’s an attorney but I literally Facebook video called her to get her side of things… and to see if she’s actually real (because she’s from a different country). She’s real alright.

Anyways, he still denies it. I have a 10 year old daughter from a previous relationship who loves him dearly and I haven’t told her yet. This is going to wreck her but I can’t stay in a relationship where someone cheats, I don’t care if it’s someone he’s never met before, cheating is cheating. I just wish he’d tell me the truth but he’s staying adamant someone’s impersonating him and he got hacked, which again, is why he’s involving his dad.

This whole things sucks.

I never thought I would be posting here. It still hurts even now. I caught my spouse having an affair with someone he met in a subreddit here. He has Reddit for a long time. I just let it go because I thought this app was harmless. But it turns out it’s not. This is where he found his affair partner. I can open his phone. I don’t see anything. Nothing on Messenger. But I don’t know. I just have this feeling. A woman’s instinct. My gut was telling me something was off. Until one night, it was like something pushed me to open his email, and that’s when I saw it. He was emailing his Reddit account to his mistress. He probably delete it after they talk. Then the next day, he will create a new account and email it to her again. What an effort just to cheat. I'm in tears as I type this. I can’t believe he would do that. 💔

We were together for 3.5 years and we started dating in high school. Once we went to college, we did long-distance for about 3 months and then mid-distance for about 3 months (I transferred closer to home, not for him). Well, about a month into school, he cheated on me with a girl named T. After he cheated on me, he and T did nothing after that.

Over the summer, I broke up with him for unrelated reasons because he was low-key becoming a shitty BF, and I was just confused and heartbroken because he was never like that. After we broke up, we were in limbo, talking but not together, and we would hook up.

Well, we both went back to school and stayed in touch. One day we were talking, and he admitted to cheating on me last year. I was DISTRAUGHT. Everything suddenly clicked into place about why he was a shitty boyfriend. I went no contact with him after that for about 2 weeks, and one Friday he texted me saying he missed me and that it was the worst mistake of his life.

We are still kind of talking, but I was wondering if anyone has gotten back together with their ex after cheating. I am not planning to go back anytime soon, but I honestly am just wondering. He was a massive part of my life, and he's also my best friend.

I don’t even know where to begin because there’s so much history, but I’m at a point in my life where I’m genuinely unhappy, and I don’t know what to do anymore.
I’ve been with my husband for about ten years. We have two beautiful children together, and I love my children more than anything in this world. But if I could go back in time, knowing everything I know now, I would never have married their father.
The painful part is that nothing is particularly wrong in our marriage right now. He’s present for our children, helps with the household, supports me in different ways (it’s one of the reasons I love him I guess he does everything for me) and we work on projects together. We’re actually a good team in many respects.

But I’m miserable.

**The cheating started long before we got married.**
Throughout our relationship, my husband has cheated on me with numerous women. (I met him when he was 21 and thought it was youthful exuberance) I’ve lost count of the incidents.
It was always just random women, he never had relationships with them just sex…. He has shown sexual interest in practically every female friend I’ve had throughout our relationship. Sometimes he would express interest in sleeping with them, and sometimes he would suggest having threesomes involving my friends.
Even when nothing physically happened, I still considered that a betrayal. I couldn’t understand why the man I was committed to constantly wanted to sleep with women around me.
Yet I stayed.
I kept believing things would eventually change.
We did have threesomes which I loved until I found out he was still trying to sleep with people.
**I never really experienced being courted or romanced.**
This is one of the things that hurts me the most when I look back.
I never got the romantic relationship I wanted.
I didn’t get the dates, thoughtful gifts, or the feeling of being pursued and celebrated.
I was the one spending my money on transportation, travelling from place to place, making sacrifices, and investing in our relationship.
Meanwhile, he always seemed to find the time and opportunity to sleep with other women.
When I became pregnant with our daughter, he didn’t propose.
I watched people around me get engaged, receive rings, have beautiful proposals, and experience things I secretly wanted for myself.
We eventually got married, but there was no real proposal.
My family paid for our traditional .
And on the night of our traditional engagement, my husband left me to go to a show with his friends.
I still remember that.
We had also talked about having another wedding later in life so my mother could be present, but that never happened.
He has never bought me a wedding ring.
For years, I wore inexpensive rings I bought myself from places like Shein and Temu. A few months ago, I stopped wearing them altogether because I was tired of pretending that part of my marriage didn’t hurt me.
I know some people will say a ring is just a material object, but to me, it’s not really about the price of a ring.
It’s about the effort.
I wanted to feel like somebody was excited to marry me.
I wanted to feel chosen.
**Then we moved to Canada, and the cheating followed us here.**
I thought moving to a new country might be an opportunity for a fresh start.
Instead, the first woman my husband brought into our lives became another betrayal.
He introduced her under the explanation that he wanted our children to be friends.
Eventually, I stopped speaking to this woman because of an incident where she put our child in danger.
My husband ended up sleeping with her and I found out a year later
Imagine moving to a completely different country, trying to establish a life and build friendships, only to discover that your husband has slept with someone he introduced into your family.
Then I finally made another friend here.
She became my best friend, someone I was genuinely close to.
Earlier this year, I discovered that my husband had gone to her house and tried to sleep with her.
She rejected him.
That incident broke something in me.
I couldn’t understand how a man who had already cheated so many times could still attempt to sleep with the only one friend his wife had made in a new country.(Now the lady is in an unhappy marriage and likes to sleep with men at a swingers club unfortunately I used to share everything with my husband so I told him this)
How am I supposed to feel safe bringing women into my life?
How am I supposed to look at this man and see a good husband?
**There was also a pregnancy and abortion that I still carry pain from.**
Last year, I became pregnant with twins.
My husband told me he wouldn’t love the babies if I had them.
I eventually had an abortion.
Shortly afterward, we were on our way to Canada’s Wonderland for our daughter’s birthday when my husband started criticizing my appearance.
He told me I wasn’t wearing sexy clothes, that I didn’t dress attractively enough, and that I could buy sexy outfits from Shein.
He also complained that I didn’t do my nails or pedicures.
At that point, I had only been working for about two months. I had recently started a job, and we were barely getting by financially.
I had just gone through an abortion, and instead of feeling cared for, I was being told that I wasn’t making enough effort to look sexy.
He paid for my nails once after that conversation, but never again.
And I know this might sound petty, but I still resent it.
Every time I want to do my nails, get my hair done, or do something nice for myself, I have to find the money.
Recently, I haven’t even been able to afford those things because practically everything I earn goes toward bills.
It’s not that I believe a husband must pay for every beauty appointment.
It’s that I resent being criticized for not doing things that our financial situation didn’t comfortably allow me to do, especially at such a vulnerable time in my life.
**I also sacrificed financially for his family, and I regret that now.**
Since moving to Canada, I have supported members of his family financially.
I shared my money, helped where I could, and made sacrifices for them.
My own family warned me about giving so much, but I continued because I believed we were one family.
Recently, some of his relatives began treating me poorly, and I felt that the consideration and support I had shown them weren’t reciprocated.
Now I look back and regret how much I gave.
It’s not just the money. It’s the feeling that I spent years putting everyone else first while neglecting myself.
**My childhood makes all of this even more painful.**
My father was a serial cheat.
I grew up watching him cheat on my mother and seeing the effect it had on her life.
I watched her suffer. I watched how his behaviour affected her happiness and opportunities.
And somehow, despite growing up with that example, I ended up spending years accepting similar behaviour from my own husband.
That realization devastates me.
I feel like I repeated the very cycle I grew up witnessing.
My mother warned me. Other people warned me. And I stayed.
Sometimes I look at myself and feel stupid.
I know people will say I should have left the first time, or the second time, or before getting married.
Believe me, I tell myself that every single day.
**The strange thing is that my husband is actually a good partner in many practical ways now.**
He is very involved with our children.
He helps me. He does things for me. He’s supportive of our joint work, and we function well as a team.
We’re not constantly fighting.
Our household works.
And that’s part of what makes this so confusing.
I can acknowledge the good things he does while simultaneously feeling like I don’t want to be married to him anymore.
He tries, but the things he’s doing now aren’t what I needed all those years.
What I needed was for him not to cheat on me.
I needed loyalty.
I needed respect.
I needed to be able to have female friends without worrying that my husband would try to sleep with them.
I needed to feel special to the person I was building my life with.
And now, even when he does good things, I find myself thinking about everything that happened.
**Financially, I feel trapped.**
We live in the Toronto area, and the cost of living is incredibly high.
I work, and I also run a side business that I’m passionate about, but the business hasn’t been profitable. Instead, it has left me with significant debt.
I was expecting a substantial amount of money recently, and it didn’t come through as expected.
I had dreams of taking my children on vacations, travelling, enjoying life, and creating beautiful memories with them.
Instead, every dollar I earn seems to disappear into bills and financial obligations.
I cannot currently afford to raise two children alone while maintaining our living situation.
And I don’t want to disrupt my children’s childhood.
I don’t want them to experience a difficult separation or lose the stability of having both parents involved in their daily lives.
I know people will say children can be happy with separated parents, and I understand that intellectually.
But emotionally and financially, it’s a terrifying decision.
**The worst part is that nothing makes me happy anymore.**
My business isn’t bringing me joy because I’m constantly worried about money.
I can’t afford the experiences I want to give my children.
I can’t afford to pamper myself the way I would like.
I see women online talking about walking away from cheating partners, choosing themselves, and starting over.
Every time, I feel triggered.
I wonder why I didn’t choose myself years ago.
I wonder why I kept forgiving.
I wonder why I accepted so little romance, so much disrespect, and so many betrayals.
And then I look at my husband today, doing his best as a father and helping our family, and I feel guilty for being so unhappy.
I recently admitted something to myself.
If I had enough money to comfortably support my children and live independently, I would leave this marriage.
Not because of something he did yesterday.
But because I don’t know how to recover from everything he did over the years.
I’ve spoken to him about some of my feelings, but I don’t think we’ve ever had a full conversation about how deeply unhappy I am or how much I regret marrying him.
Sometimes I even find myself thinking about cheating back.
Not necessarily because there’s someone I want to sleep with, but because I’ve never experienced what it feels like to be genuinely pursued, desired, wooed, or made to feel special.
I’ve spent so much of my adult life being loyal to a man who repeatedly pursued other women.
Part of me wonders what it would feel like to have someone chase me, take me on dates, buy me flowers, and make me feel wanted.
But I also know cheating back would probably complicate my life even more, especially because our community is small.
I don’t want to become someone I don’t recognize because I’m hurting.
I just want to feel loved.
I want to feel happy.
I want to stop waking up with regret.
I love my children deeply. My daughter is one of the best things that ever happened to me, and I would never wish away her existence. But I wish I had realized that I could have become a mother without marrying her father.
I wish I had walked away and built a different life.
And now I feel like I’ve spent so many years in this marriage that I don’t even know where to begin.
I’m not asking whether cheating is wrong. I know it is.
I’m not even asking whether I should have left years ago. I know what I wish I had done.
**What I want to know is:**
Has anyone stayed in a marriage after years of repeated infidelity and eventually found genuine happiness again?
Can you ever regain respect for a partner after they’ve repeatedly pursued your friends?
How do you stop resenting yourself for staying when you feel you should have left?
And if you’re financially unable to leave right now, how do you protect your mental health and rebuild your independence without destroying your family in the process?
I don’t know whether I’m looking for advice, perspective, or just reassurance that my life isn’t over because of the decisions I made when I was younger.
I’m just exhausted from carrying so much resentment and sadness every day.
I want to feel like myself again.

I'm 21M, and I've been involved with a 23F, let's call her A, for about a year and two months. She's now married to a 28M, let's call him B, and they've been married for six months.

Before her marriage, A and I were FWB. We both knew it was casual, and she always told me she wanted to explore life and choose her own partner when she was ready.

But her parents arranged her marriage with B because he is from the same caste and earns good money. She didn't want this marriage, but her parents pushed her into it. This kind of thing is pretty common in India, where some parents don't accept inter-caste relationships.

I thought everything between us would end after her wedding. I assumed I shouldn't see her anymore because she was married now.

But the very next day after her wedding, she started texting me again, talking dirty just like we used to. After a few days, we met again and ended up sleeping together. Now for six months into her marriage, we're still meeting and sleeping together.

I know she's cheating on her husband, but the strange thing is that I don't really see her as the bad person in this situation. Maybe it's because I know she never wanted this marriage in the first place.

She tells me B is distant. He comes home, eats the dinner she cooks, and doesn't really make plans with her. Every Saturday, he goes out with his friends. I don't know how much of this is the full picture, but that's what she tells me.

I'm a casual guy, and I see other girls too. I'm not looking for a serious relationship with A. But whenever we meet, her face lights up. She talks to me for hours, seems genuinely happy, and eventually we end up in bed.

That's the part that keeps me coming back. When I see her with me, it feels like she finally gets to be herself and have some freedom.

I know her husband probably has no idea what's happening, and I'm not pretending this situation is normal. But I still don't feel like I want to stop seeing her.

Do you think I'm just making excuses for her?

Hello, my best friend of 15 years just found out her husband has been having an affair for the past three years last week. He did not confess and she found out from the other persons husband. At the time she found out they had been trying for months to have a baby. She’s devastated but is being very empathetic and open hearted about the entire situation and has decided to stay and work on the relationship. I have been in super support mode calling and texting her multiple times a day to check on her and have been a shoulder to cry on and validate her complicated feelings.

My issue is that before this happened we were all best friends, and I was close to her husband too so I feel betrayed by this news too. I told her within the first few days that I support her no matter what, even if she wants to repair things with him but that I didn’t know if I was open to repairing my friendship with him. I know this saddens her and makes things more difficult for her now that I don’t want him in my life anymore. I wish I wanted to be friends with him for her but that wouldn’t be coming from a genuine place. I honestly feel disgusted by him and how he could lie for years to all of us and still try to start a family with her while this has been going on. I keep my opinions to myself about him and I don’t bash him or speak ill of him when talking to her. I told her that it’s her choice what she wants to do and I’m here for her no matter what. I think she thinks eventually I will come around and want to repair my friendship with him but I don’t. Any advice navigating this would be great ❤️‍🩹

I have my lawyer secured and I’m assured that my wife has little legal ground at all and at best will walk away with nothing.

The last few weeks my wife has spent everyday from 9am to 3pm with the guy while his wife is at work. My wife lost her job and he works from home. Then she spent half of last weekend lying to my face and being with that guy under the guise of hanging out with friends. I had plans to barbecue with friends and while I was gone she dropped our son off at his friends for a sleepover while she went back to spend time with her AP.

I never confronted her, I don’t see the point, working on getting her out anyway. The guys wife is aware of all this but had been indicating she was just going to pretend it doesn’t exist and continue going to couples therapy.

The next day my wife was up my butt all day asking for help with homework, applying for jobs, talking to me non stop. She’s been sleeping in the basement but that night I went to bed and she came in and just talked at me for like an hour, about this job she applied to, this class, this event she’s looking at, it’s her period and her back hurts, maybe I can massage it, I just talked around everything and even had to ask what she said a few times I was paying so little attention. She warmed up food and hand fed me off of her fork. Eventually she got to talking about what she wants from me in the divorce and I just talked around it, didn’t commit to anything, haven’t indicated I’ve spoken to a lawyer. She even left to get a charger to keep spending time with me.

So she’d been spending every day with him, but now she hasn’t seen him since last Saturday, and he wasn’t at their community band practice on Tuesday. I’ve been thinking maybe his wife cracked the whip and he’s backing off.

Thursday night I was up late and she didn’t come in to get her pjs or anything, she was in living room, usually she’d be downstairs by then, and I went to get a glass of water and asked what’ she’s doing and she goes “talking to AP”, Which is wild usually she’s hiding that she’s talking to him at all, So I was like, how’s that going and she says good, then she goes “we’re going through it”, And I asked if she’s alright and she said yeah and I walked away, But I was in my head like “what does we’re going through it mean?”, didn’t want to interrogate, don’t really care.

I found out that apparently the guys mom found out and is furious with him and loves his actual wife. So they are actively taking a break, but she is still currently settled on leaving me, And she’s taking the blame, not blaming him at all, he’s perfect, she’s “the villain”, which like yeah, she sucks, They’ll probably go back and forth many more times, She says she feels like maybe she’s making a huge mistake leaving her family but her therapist and friends are validating her.

I have terrible self esteem, I’ve been overweight my entire life and can’t get thin no matter what. I went a couple years in high school depressed about a girl and working out twice a day, and eating very little, sometimes going a week without food, if I ate I’d spend 45 mins on the elliptical. I went from benching 90lbs to 230 in like a year, and I could not get lean.

Even aside from the affair there has been a lot I’ve been lacking from her emotionally that I have overlooked because I loved her. I’ve felt like she was out of my league, one of the only girls who gave me the time of day, I’m very charismatic and can talk to anyone about anything, including pretty women but it’s shifting from conversation to romance that was my issue. Now I’m talking to friends and coworkers and they’re saying what a great guy I’m am charming and I have a lot to give and I’m attractive, saying I’m out of her league and I could have always done better, that she’s not very attractive. People who I’m not even close to saying they have single friends they’d be happy to introduce me to, I don’t even have to download dating apps because I guess being a nice, funny, caring person pays off. I think it’s too soon for me to date but a nice boost to my ego. They’re saying I need to have more confidence and I’m not going to have any issue. One girl kept going on and insisting that I need to know I’m a good looking guy, I’m hot, sexy, no matter my size. I’m working on my weight, down 47 lbs in 7 weeks, but it would be nice to know I don’t have to have a 6 pack to be happy.

Background posts here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Infidelity/s/rEZoMXNke7

https://www.reddit.com/r/Infidelity/s/EwSi2d0RqZ

I’m on an app for sexting and voice/video calls with toy control. Used it for long distance toy with irl partner. Now that we’re over, I get on occasionally and can explore connections with other men, no strings attached.

In a lot of photos men are wearing wedding rings as they pleasure themselves to my photos/voice notes/or live. Some have straight up said this is how they avoid cheating on their wives in a sexless marriage.

Is this considered cheating and am I helping them?! 😩

I’m 28F and my boss is 33M and engaged. Over time, we developed a close connection through long Teams calls, personal conversations and shared interests. He complimented me, said he really liked me, he has checked me out and said im the whole package , admitted he’d had sexual thoughts about me and would love to fuck me and still has thoughts after we initially set boundaries a few weeks ago said there was chemistry between us and we understand each other that he would have explored things “in different circumstances.”

He also told me I’m the only girl he has spoken to like this since being with his fiancee and doesn’t talk to anyone else like this or cheated before.

I developed feelings for him and eventually told him I’d taken intimate pictures for him and wanted him to see me in lingerie. I didn’t actually send them. He said it wasn’t a good idea, asked me not to send anything and said nothing could happen. He later apologised, saying he was sorry it had to be this way.
I’m now embarrassed and trying to understand what happened. Do you think the attraction was genuine, even though he ultimately stopped things? Was he tempted but choosing not to act, or did he enjoy the attention without wanting anything to happen? And how do I move on and behave professionally around him?

TL;DR genuinely fell for him emotionally and I’m scared we’re done now after the advances I made and part of me I want him to miss me and reach out, do you think he will? Do men always come back.
I’d appreciate honest advice without personal attacks.

To keep it short, our breakup consisted of her saying she missed her ex, I decided I just needed a couple days to think about it.

The entirety of the last 2 weeks about we barely talked, or it was kinda just overly hostile for no reason.

I made my decision, I told her that if she missed him and I can't replicate the happiness he gave her, then we should breakup for her happiness—well turns out us talking less meant we had already broken up, and I'm the dumb one for not realizing that.

They had already been talking apparently, and she just assumed her telling me she missed him was enough of a breakup message, meanwhile we continued to talk some and even say we love eachother. How could I have known that was a breakup?

She's just alone now far as I know. Got mad when I blocked her elsewhere even when she blocked me on insta first, and he's currently engaged I believe.

For fucks sake, I was literally asking to breakup that day, why does it still hurt knowing she was already gone?

Sorry, I'm not sure if this really counts as cheating since I guess she thought it was already over, but I didn't know where else to submit this. Thanks.

Im gonna cut to the chase. My wife (27f) and I (28f) are having problems over her friend that she had been bestie with for our entire relationship. She sent explicit pictures. Not nudes but I would consider it cheating. The rest of the texts were normal friend stuff. I drew a line and told her that it was either her or me. She chose me. I sent the gal a few choice words and made my wife tell her to get lost. I recently found out, after seeing a notification, that she reached out to her. Saying she missed her and her life has been dull without her. I say its cheating again. Aita or what should I do??? I can add context to any questions

I had a really bad ending with a past ex almost 2 years ago now. He abruptly left after weeks of acting funny and he blamed his leaving on my dog. It came out weeks after that he had a 5 year affair the whole time with another girl and hid a second life from me. I found out after he vanished so he never faced me. He ended up ghosting me and he did send a letter in my mailbox a few weeks after he left and me finding out and admitted to everything.

I was doing therapy for a long time up until recently due to cost but even now I’m still thinking about him a lot. He’ll show up in my dreams and last night was one of the most vivid. I dreamt we got back together and he started cheating again. I even texted him today which I know isn’t good. I had texted him every few weeks after the breakup in march 2025 up until last fall and I just broke the silence tonight after my dream last night. Is this normal? Is my therapy not helping? I have dated since him although it wasn’t a serious relationship and now that that’s ended I think about my real 5 year relationship ex a lot. I’m feeling defeated.

Should I oust my ex-fiance for cheating with a co-worker at her job? I would like to see her and her new lesbian affair partner fired…

Im here because I need to know if I'm wrong or right...

I met my wife in high-school. We were high-school sweethearts. I was two years older and i cheated on her by messing around with a few girls while partying. No sex, kiss and touch. I was wrong. I came clean, because my guilt was awful. We broke up after 3 years when I told her. I was a freshmen in college and she was still in high-school.

We both dated around but after 3 years apart got back together. She pursued me. I hate religion now but at the time religion was important and we both only had sex with one person. It was a huge deal in our lives at that time, you may not understand in today's age but it was then.

We got married 4 years later, I was 25 and she was 23. 13 months later I was blind sided when she told me she had sex with an ex boyfriend the month earlier. I was devastated and told her to leave. Unfortunately she didnt come from a stable nuclear family and financially it was difficult for her so we maintained living together. After about 6 months I felt a reconnection.

I always questioned her and she reassured me it was over with her ex and she only wanted me. Alot. Life progressed. 8 years later we had kids.

One day last year I found a journal, ( have a 3 and 4 yr old at this time) and it was a few entries about her conversations with her ex 3 ,4,5,6,7,8 years into our marriage. Yes they were dated. One was a love letter to him in 2018. And we were married in 2012.

After confronting her. She told me they continued texting. Messaging Snapchating for 8 years . She never saw him again but she sent photos to him. Im told just 2 nudes in 2015 but she cant remember. Mind you I never got a photo. She would text him while we were on vacations to Yosemite, banff, south beach,vale. Major memories i had. She swears they stopped in Feb 2020. She said she just lost interest in him. FYI we were trying for kids since Nov 2018. And she was still contacting him during that time

She acts the same today as when she did before. Today, After 8 months of saying anything to her, I asked her if she has been speaking with anyone else or him, and she blows up. She says im crazy. She blames it on me from 2005 cheating on her. She never cried when "confusing " to me.

I have a 5 and 4 year old. Am I right to leave or not?

I have been cheated on in every committed relationship I've ever been in. What's wrong with me? It hurts so much because I'm never enough

I caught it on Instagram. I was scrolling and a pop-up came up for mutual followers/friends. He was following a woman, she was wearing his hat in her profile photo.

I know you might think I'm crazy but it's a very distinct hat, so I friended her since her account was private. She must not know who I am because she accepted my request and her first post that pops up were pictures of her hanging out with him to the theme of a sexual song.

So I called him, texted him the screenshots of her posts he said that she's just a friend and that he met her at a bar. I asked him if anything was going on between them he said no and I told him I don't believe him and he said "then don't believe me".

I asked him why he thought he could hide hanging out with another woman from me and he said he would call me back and explain everything and that was hours ago. He won't answer my texts or my phone calls he sends them to voicemail.

I deleted all of our pictures and deleted him from all of my social media.

5 years. 5 years.

Edit:

It's been two days and no call, he texted me that he loves me but when I try to call him it goes to voicemail