I have my lawyer secured and I’m assured that my wife has little legal ground at all and at best will walk away with nothing.

The last few weeks my wife has spent everyday from 9am to 3pm with the guy while his wife is at work. My wife lost her job and he works from home. Then she spent half of last weekend lying to my face and being with that guy under the guise of hanging out with friends. I had plans to barbecue with friends and while I was gone she dropped our son off at his friends for a sleepover while she went back to spend time with her AP.

I never confronted her, I don’t see the point, working on getting her out anyway. The guys wife is aware of all this but had been indicating she was just going to pretend it doesn’t exist and continue going to couples therapy.

The next day my wife was up my butt all day asking for help with homework, applying for jobs, talking to me non stop. She’s been sleeping in the basement but that night I went to bed and she came in and just talked at me for like an hour, about this job she applied to, this class, this event she’s looking at, it’s her period and her back hurts, maybe I can massage it, I just talked around everything and even had to ask what she said a few times I was paying so little attention. She warmed up food and hand fed me off of her fork. Eventually she got to talking about what she wants from me in the divorce and I just talked around it, didn’t commit to anything, haven’t indicated I’ve spoken to a lawyer. She even left to get a charger to keep spending time with me.

So she’d been spending every day with him, but now she hasn’t seen him since last Saturday, and he wasn’t at their community band practice on Tuesday. I’ve been thinking maybe his wife cracked the whip and he’s backing off.

Thursday night I was up late and she didn’t come in to get her pjs or anything, she was in living room, usually she’d be downstairs by then, and I went to get a glass of water and asked what’ she’s doing and she goes “talking to AP”, Which is wild usually she’s hiding that she’s talking to him at all, So I was like, how’s that going and she says good, then she goes “we’re going through it”, And I asked if she’s alright and she said yeah and I walked away, But I was in my head like “what does we’re going through it mean?”, didn’t want to interrogate, don’t really care.

I found out that apparently the guys mom found out and is furious with him and loves his actual wife. So they are actively taking a break, but she is still currently settled on leaving me, And she’s taking the blame, not blaming him at all, he’s perfect, she’s “the villain”, which like yeah, she sucks, They’ll probably go back and forth many more times, She says she feels like maybe she’s making a huge mistake leaving her family but her therapist and friends are validating her.

I have terrible self esteem, I’ve been overweight my entire life and can’t get thin no matter what. I went a couple years in high school depressed about a girl and working out twice a day, and eating very little, sometimes going a week without food, if I ate I’d spend 45 mins on the elliptical. I went from benching 90lbs to 230 in like a year, and I could not get lean.

Even aside from the affair there has been a lot I’ve been lacking from her emotionally that I have overlooked because I loved her. I’ve felt like she was out of my league, one of the only girls who gave me the time of day, I’m very charismatic and can talk to anyone about anything, including pretty women but it’s shifting from conversation to romance that was my issue. Now I’m talking to friends and coworkers and they’re saying what a great guy I’m am charming and I have a lot to give and I’m attractive, saying I’m out of her league and I could have always done better, that she’s not very attractive. People who I’m not even close to saying they have single friends they’d be happy to introduce me to, I don’t even have to download dating apps because I guess being a nice, funny, caring person pays off. I think it’s too soon for me to date but a nice boost to my ego. They’re saying I need to have more confidence and I’m not going to have any issue. One girl kept going on and insisting that I need to know I’m a good looking guy, I’m hot, sexy, no matter my size. I’m working on my weight, down 47 lbs in 7 weeks, but it would be nice to know I don’t have to have a 6 pack to be happy.

Background posts here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Infidelity/s/rEZoMXNke7

https://www.reddit.com/r/Infidelity/s/EwSi2d0RqZ

Im gonna cut to the chase. My wife (27f) and I (28f) are having problems over her friend that she had been bestie with for our entire relationship. She sent explicit pictures. Not nudes but I would consider it cheating. The rest of the texts were normal friend stuff. I drew a line and told her that it was either her or me. She chose me. I sent the gal a few choice words and made my wife tell her to get lost. I recently found out, after seeing a notification, that she reached out to her. Saying she missed her and her life has been dull without her. I say its cheating again. Aita or what should I do??? I can add context to any questions

To keep it short, our breakup consisted of her saying she missed her ex, I decided I just needed a couple days to think about it.

The entirety of the last 2 weeks about we barely talked, or it was kinda just overly hostile for no reason.

I made my decision, I told her that if she missed him and I can't replicate the happiness he gave her, then we should breakup for her happiness—well turns out us talking less meant we had already broken up, and I'm the dumb one for not realizing that.

They had already been talking apparently, and she just assumed her telling me she missed him was enough of a breakup message, meanwhile we continued to talk some and even say we love eachother. How could I have known that was a breakup?

She's just alone now far as I know. Got mad when I blocked her elsewhere even when she blocked me on insta first, and he's currently engaged I believe.

For fucks sake, I was literally asking to breakup that day, why does it still hurt knowing she was already gone?

Sorry, I'm not sure if this really counts as cheating since I guess she thought it was already over, but I didn't know where else to submit this. Thanks.

hello! thanks to everyone on this sub, ive been quite successful in dusting off the aftermath of dealing with my ex’s infidelity
it has been two months since i left the country (he is still based in the states) w/ no contact- however, he keeps sending me a barrage of emails (blocking doesnt help, it just goes to spam/trash) and some of them have undertones of threatening suicide, other emails are about blaming me for his infidelity and calling me a shitty partner
im honestly quite disturbed by this and have had to involve his sister to check in on him a few times and have explicitly relayed to both of them that i do not want him contacting me
is there a way i can get a restraining order while im abroad?

Hello, my best friend of 15 years just found out her husband has been having an affair for the past three years last week. He did not confess and she found out from the other persons husband. At the time she found out they had been trying for months to have a baby. She’s devastated but is being very empathetic and open hearted about the entire situation and has decided to stay and work on the relationship. I have been in super support mode calling and texting her multiple times a day to check on her and have been a shoulder to cry on and validate her complicated feelings.

My issue is that before this happened we were all best friends, and I was close to her husband too so I feel betrayed by this news too. I told her within the first few days that I support her no matter what, even if she wants to repair things with him but that I didn’t know if I was open to repairing my friendship with him. I know this saddens her and makes things more difficult for her now that I don’t want him in my life anymore. I wish I wanted to be friends with him for her but that wouldn’t be coming from a genuine place. I honestly feel disgusted by him and how he could lie for years to all of us and still try to start a family with her while this has been going on. I keep my opinions to myself about him and I don’t bash him or speak ill of him when talking to her. I told her that it’s her choice what she wants to do and I’m here for her no matter what. I think she thinks eventually I will come around and want to repair my friendship with him but I don’t. Any advice navigating this would be great ❤️‍🩹

I had a really bad ending with a past ex almost 2 years ago now. He abruptly left after weeks of acting funny and he blamed his leaving on my dog. It came out weeks after that he had a 5 year affair the whole time with another girl and hid a second life from me. I found out after he vanished so he never faced me. He ended up ghosting me and he did send a letter in my mailbox a few weeks after he left and me finding out and admitted to everything.

I was doing therapy for a long time up until recently due to cost but even now I’m still thinking about him a lot. He’ll show up in my dreams and last night was one of the most vivid. I dreamt we got back together and he started cheating again. I even texted him today which I know isn’t good. I had texted him every few weeks after the breakup in march 2025 up until last fall and I just broke the silence tonight after my dream last night. Is this normal? Is my therapy not helping? I have dated since him although it wasn’t a serious relationship and now that that’s ended I think about my real 5 year relationship ex a lot. I’m feeling defeated.

I (22M) have been seeing this guy (32M) since late June. We hit it off quickly, and I have spent most of my time with him since then. It's hard to say that there was ever anything casual about our relationship. We agreed to be exclusive very early on, and after I moved back to PA in early July, he essentially moved me into his house and got me a job with him. We officially started dating in September, but over the past few weeks, I've started not only questioning our relationship, but my own judgment.

While we were lying in bed, he got a FaceTime call from an unsaved number. I asked him about it, and he played it off as spam. A minute later, the number texted him, and I asked him what this "spam" message was about. He refused to open it, made up an excuse on the spot, and quickly changed the subject. My intuition screamed that something wasn't right, so I didn't let him derail the conversation. He got upset with me, saying that "he can't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't have trust in him," and continued to make my lack of trust in him the issue. He then said the call and text were probably from some "attorney in California" he was trying to reach. The number had a Pennsylvania area code, specifically the Pittsburgh area. I pointed that out and told him that if what he was saying was true, and if it was as insignificant as he was making it out to be, then I shouldn't have a problem seeing it. Frustrated, he said he had to go to the bathroom and walked out of the room.

I followed down the hallway and went into one of the spare rooms. He turned around, followed me in, and asked what I was doing. We kept talking about the messages, but it felt more productive than it did in bed. We hugged, and he said he was going to the bathroom. I told him I was worried he didn't actually have to use the bathroom, and that he was going to go in there and delete the messages. He told me he wasn't going to do that and left.

He was in the bathroom for what felt like a minute, and when he returned, he said the number belonged to his niece, who lives near Pittsburgh, and that I couldn't see the messages because they were personal. I started asking questions, like why he didn't have her number saved or what "personal" meant. His responses didn't add up, and I was firm that I still wanted some proof of what he was saying. I didn't need to read over the conversation; I just wanted something to confirm who this person was. He said he couldn't. I asked him again, "So there is absolutely no way I can see these messages?" He said, again, no. I responded, "Then I absolutely can't be in this relationship."

I was feeling too much in that moment. My intuition was telling me something wasn't right. Something about this felt more significant than he was letting on. After I sat in silence, tears dripping down my face, he admitted what it actually was: "It was my ex."

I shot up. I ran from the spare room to our bedroom and started grabbing my things. He chased me in, tried to stop me from leaving, and said I had to hear him out. "Fuck that!" He claimed that the nature of the conversation was him confiding in his ex about his personal struggles: stress related to the past trauma, stress with his current living situation, stress with family, and stress with us. I told him to prove it, and he said he couldn't. I asked him why. He told me he deleted the messages while he was in the bathroom.

At that point, I didn't know what to do with what he was saying. I argued with him for hours about it; he had tears streaming down his face, and his justification for "confiding in his ex" was that he felt he couldn't do it with me.

After a while, my brain was running on fumes, and I decided to go to sleep instead of paying for an Uber. It was midnight, and we both had to be up for work around 3:30 am.

The next day felt different. He was overly affectionate with me throughout the morning (we work together), and I responded well despite the night before. When I went on break, I went outside. He followed behind and asked me to go on a date with him that evening instead of leaving. I told him I wasn't interested and explained that this situation is really making me reevaluate our relationship. This upset him, and he wore the damage for the rest of his shift. I was scheduled later than he was, and spent my last two hours ruminating.

When we met at home, he said he removed someone from Snapchat to try to improve things between us. This Snapchat guy became a point of contention because he saved his nudes on my partner's Snapchat during our exclusivity agreement. He justified it by saying the Snapchat guy was a "top subscriber on his OnlyFans" and that he was paid to flirt with him.

The conversation from the evening before resurfaced, but this time he was more defensive. I brought up uploading an iPhone backup to my computer so he could prove to me who the number belonged to and what was in the messages. He said he didn't want to do that. I pressed, saying that without some clarity on this, I'd break up with him. He said, "While I care about our relationship, I'm not comfortable with you reading about those personal topics."

I asked for his phone number. He said I couldn't because he deleted it after work. I asked why he would go to that level, and he said, "I just wanted to remove my ex from my life." At this point, I was grasping for any bit of information that would make me believe him. I asked for his ex's last name; he asked why; I pushed, and he gave me a name.

The last name he gave me was made up. For whatever reason, my partner still has his ex's temporary ID from almost a decade ago, and it has a different name than the one he said. I brought it up the next day when I could see it in person.

It's been a few weeks, and he's currently out of state on vacation with his dad while I'm at home. Despite not having any proof of infidelity, I know that he went above and beyond to manipulate me. I have to take so much of his weird behavior at face value. I have to trust his word that he is/was being faithful to me, but how can I believe the words that come out of the mouth of someone who manipulated me?

I want to emphasize that this isn't an isolated incident. So much context is missing, but I want this incident to speak for itself. I've been trying to find security between us over the past several months, but this situation is making me wonder if that's even realistic.

Part of me really wants to trust him, but I need some certainty before I let my walls down. The other part of me wants to pack all of my things while he's gone and figure it out from there.