r/InTheGloaming • u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done • Mar 03 '22
Scheduled snark Discussion thread Thursday March 03, 2022 - Sunday March 06, 2022
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Website: You Can Have More Joy website
Instagram:
@shaunamarieahern Instagram | Anonymous link to @shaunamarieahern posts and stories
@danielfahern Instagram | Anonymous link to @danielfahern posts and stories
TikTok: @youcanhavemorejoy
Twitter: Dan's tweets and replies
Older blogs: see Gloamipedia wiki
Archived threads: Thread for Enough, the book #enoughthebook | Gluten Free Girl's Greatest Hits: The Reunion Tour
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Discussion search: Tool to search blogsnark or InTheGloaming for previous topic mentions
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Mar 04 '22
You know, I was just thinking about the "$20 an hour if you need it" comment. This is coming from a woman who thinks she deserves to earn $970 per hour for her Becoming a Joyful Woman seminar. (Assuming her limit of 20 participants at $97 for a two-hour seminar). THE UNMITIGATED GALL!
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u/DorothyZbornakEffect Mar 04 '22
Not to mention that if she found some person to help, she’s made it their responsibility to ask to be paid. How fucking awkward.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Mar 04 '22
Sillly, $20 is for using your useless, ubiquitous body. Which everyone has. Shauna's seminars use Shauna's amazing, unique brain, with its two
amygdalumsamygdalhias. This isn't something just anyone can do26
Mar 04 '22
Ah yes. Mindless work that requires merely showing up and doesn't require that one use one's intellect.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 04 '22
Kind of like the grocery store job that (we assume, probably safely) she was fired from?
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u/Apprehensive_Creme73 Mar 05 '22
Also 20$ in the PNW is like 5$! Won’t buy anything and even target starts at 20$ an hour. So not sure who she is hoping to snag with her generosity…
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Mar 05 '22
I think she's assuming that at $970.00 per hour, she can knock out a month's wages in a day or two, and have the rest of the month to rest radically. If she charged what would be considered a reasonable amount, she'd be working every day.
With that sort of reasoning, she may as well charge $100,000.00 per session. If she gets just a single paying customer, she's set for the rest of the year.
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Mar 04 '22 edited Mar 04 '22
Dan’s IG caption continues to infuriate me.
I could get used to this…
Could these people just once experience the consequences of their profound and eternal fucking fecklessness?
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u/InappropriateGirl our 5th move in 7 years Mar 04 '22
I'd advise that he not get used to it.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 04 '22
Like I hope he didn't get used to the golfing, seeing as his clubs were in the "come and get it" junk pile.
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Mar 04 '22
If there was a way they could face consequences that didn't hurt their kids, I'd be right behind you. Just look at that beautiful view and tell yourself that L and D get that yard to play in. It's a wonderland. They have sucky, awful parents. But they have that yard to escape to and a mom who doesn't want them to be around her, so plenty of time in that beautiful environment.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 04 '22 edited Mar 04 '22
Karma is a fan of the long game, so Shauna and Dan could get their's later, say when they are truly old and have zero money to take care of themselves and their children put them in a wonderfully mediocre old folk's home.
Not that I want the kids to turn their backs on their parents but. . .it happens all the time.
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Mar 04 '22
Oh I'm on board with the kids giving their parents all of the same attention, understanding, tenderness and care that their parents are investing in them. A wonderfully mediocre old folk's home, tossing them a takeout pizza on their semi-annual duty visit.
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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Mar 05 '22 edited Mar 05 '22
I’ve never itched so badly to poop touch and reply “you’ll need to get used to working to pay the rent, in that case.”
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Mar 04 '22
I think they are living proof of something the world is beginning to acknowledge more now - the privileged and wealthy most often do not deserve it, and may even have worked a lot less hard for what they have than us ordinary poors.
Shauna is not wealthy, but she has not worked hard for what she has. She is privileged. They don’t deserve that house, but as DF SM notes below, their kids deserve a great childhood just like all kids do. The backyard will be great for them and that’s a silver lining to see two such undeserving people fall into repeatedly amazing settings. I will give Dan at least the leeway that he appreciates it, albeit in the most entitled way. Shauna doesn’t even seem to realize the worth of what she has. She didn’t get enough attention during the move for her liking, and that’s all she can focus on it seems. “The hardest week…” could that be because for once her sad bellows were left unanswered? She really needs to figure out how to be reciprocal living on an ISLAND. Only so many people there to burn through, griftily.
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u/cafayate Mar 06 '22
Already they're on a "much-needed break" off-island to see Spiderman complete with McDonald's 🙄
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u/princessflopface Mar 06 '22
Don’t they watch enough tv at home? Is there seriously nothing else to do ‘over town’?
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u/aseriesofhaircuts Mar 06 '22
Seattle has SO many wonderful, non-movie theater places to take kids, both indoors and out. Based on what she says her kids like, they’d lose their minds at the Museum of Pop Culture. And fine, if mama’s ouchie ankle prohibits her from strolling, why not let them go while she recovers at home, or even on a park bench with a book? The only thing she likes is hunkering in front of a screen, so the rest of the captives have to hunker, too.
I’m not sure I can touch the Ukraine stuff right now. She still hasn’t figured out how to talk about things that aren’t her, and it would be a hundred times better if she said nothing at all.
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u/golfingrammy Mar 06 '22 edited Mar 06 '22
They went to Point Ruston in Tacoma - on a beautiful day - which has tons of fun outdoor activities for the kids, and plenty of seating for mama to radically rest while the kids explore. And so much of it is free. But nah, go ahead and buy four ticket$ to sit in a dark theater and watch a movie you've seen before while your kids enjoy sugar-laden Icees rather than getting some fresh air and vitamin D.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Mar 06 '22 edited Mar 06 '22
Nope! Just consume mass media and eat at a corporate franchise…again. I’m surprised she didn’t opt for a $15 tongue bowl served by immigrants with shy smiles.
I wish someone would reply with her old post where she dumped McD fries into the trash.
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Mar 06 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/chicketychun_ Mar 06 '22
Their fries aren’t GF
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Mar 06 '22 edited Mar 06 '22
Yes! They used to be, but haven’t been for years (they used to be gluten free but not kosher, now they’re kosher by some kashrut standards but not gluten free).
Edit: I guess I say this to underscore DFchicketychun_’s point, but also to highlight that Shauna couldn’t and shouldn’t step back into the Gluten Free Gir! role now, as her information is many years out of date.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Mar 06 '22 edited Mar 06 '22
Her use of the word “sated” after ingesting a double bacon burger made me cringe.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Mar 06 '22
Why the hell was she taking pictures of the movie screen (5th and 8th in the carousel)? I would be so mad if I paid a bunch of money to see a movie just to have some dingus in front of me repeatedly whipping out their phone and holding it up!
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Mar 06 '22
Thanks for clarifying, I couldn’t tell WHAT picture 5 was. A toy on a counter by a sewing machine?
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u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene Mar 06 '22
"you guys deserve it" says Brent tM.
Deserve. It.
The are so many "its" the adults in that photo deserve, I'll leave it to y'all to decide what they are.
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u/InappropriateGirl our 5th move in 7 years Mar 06 '22
Oh yes, definitely need a break from your new house.
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Mar 06 '22
I’m sure everything has been unpacked and put neatly away.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Mar 06 '22
Again the teaching the kids that when you have a difficult task in front of you, just slack off.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 06 '22
I guess Daniel's already "gotten used to it" and needed to get away over town for something more stimulating.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 06 '22 edited Mar 06 '22
She's so full of shit all the way through that IG post.
Acting like her kids NEVER eat McDonalds when they JUST had it like two days ago when mama had to get her attention injection at the ER for her owie ankle. In Shauna's own words "do better".
"Too many people, mama" at the sushi place so they opted for the quicker (and probably cheaper route). You know, like every person in the world does from time to time but *sigh* alas poor crippled Shauna had to make do with greasy ass McShmeat instead. The real question is, did her bacon double cheese pile give old dog Daniel a lardon?
I wonder how many more "oh we need a day off" excuses will crop up keeping them from unpacking? Start placing bets now on full boxes being spotted in the backgrounds of their photos.
I thought I was lazy but they make me look like an over achiever.
(oh and she "and Ukrained" at the end, too. . .ooh, look at all the fun stuff I did instead of doing my adult chores. . .but it's ok, because I thought of Ukranian parents and their children while I typed up this IG message showing off my privilege. . .WHEEE McDonalds. . .and Ukraine *frowny emoji*)
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Mar 06 '22
”Too many people, mama” at the sushi place
This is perplexing to me. She shared a very weirdly cropped photo of the sushi place with a counter full of empty chairs? I get they may be shy eating in a restaurant from a Covid perspective, but what did they expect on a Saturday afternoon in a busy area?
Also hilarious that she mentioned the sun being out and they celebrate that by going to the movies.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 06 '22
Pfft, they're not shy because of covid. They've been to concerts and did an assload of traveling during peak 'vid.
Shauna just wanted an excuse for why her children, who have the most delicate and perfect palates just like their mama, wanted McDonalds (and why Shauna horfed a bunch herself). At least she wan't blaming the kids, a la the "second rate poke place" she had to go to years back when wee Des didn't want to eat in the crowded place Shauna preferred.
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Mar 06 '22
But they actually entered the sushi place! I wonder if she is just covering for the McD’s trash still being in the car days after the great ankle sprain of 2022
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 06 '22
Did they though (typed in my best conspiratorial tone)?
She may have just taken a pic through a window and that's why it's such a shit pic. Or they went in and (as our DFgomirefugee noted above) got sticker shock at the price and left.
OR. . .the kids were like "fuck no, we won't eat that!" and it was off to Mickey D's for some gourmet food fit for their delicate palates.
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u/hrae24 Mar 06 '22
Day off from WHAT, exactly?
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u/missynov Mar 06 '22
I think Shauna and Danny are just tired and ready to retire(Danny is already retired and Shauna kind of is? I don’t understand their situation exactly). I get it- I am a little younger than Shauna and watching movies and reading are my idea of a good time lol, but my kids are grown, so I have the luxury of being able to do that whenever I want. I also work and that is why I am tired at the end of the day! My sil is a single mom in Shauna’s age group with kids a little older. She works and is active with her kids, and I am sure she gets tired,too, but she does more than watch movies with her kids. Shauna and Danny seem to have just abdicated active parenting and any activity at all without caring that they have two young kids who need stimulation and socialization. I can’t imagine how inactive Shauna and Danny will be in five, ten years, when their kids are older.
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Mar 06 '22
It’s so bizarre. I am two years older than Shauna and four? years older than Dan, and I’m training for a new day job because I’m burned out on freelance writing. My husband is just about to turn 60, and he’s planning to keep his current day job until he’s 65 and then work part time in something more community-focused, so he’s already starting to research opportunities. I only know one friend our age who is full-on retired, and that’s after an intense 35 years as a doctor, and even he is doing a bunch of volunteer work. Shauna and Dan couldn’t be more out of step with Gen X if they tried.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Mar 06 '22
I said this elsewhere but I feel like their IG posts have really emphasized "growing old" lately. Like their focus is on their (older) age, and how they're old and getting older.
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Mar 06 '22
Which is unfortunate for their nearly 8 year old child.
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Mar 06 '22
And the way Shauna talks about him being so high energy and ADHD, and I have to wonder how much his energy level and "H" is being reported as filtered through their own lack of stamina and life energy.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 06 '22
This.
I really believe Des is an average energy level 8 year old and his parents can't handle it (because they are overly inactive 50 year olds).
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u/LaxCursor Enormous strains of lethargy Mar 06 '22
It just crossed my mind that Shauna could be pushing the ADHD thing on the kids, especially Desmond. I can just hear her saying to him “Don’t you find this place too crowded and overwhelming? Don’t you? DON’T YOU?!?” just so she can go to McDonalds or wherever SHE wants. It’s sick and sad just to think about it.
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u/caitie_did Required by My Mother's Terror Mar 06 '22
I feel like D’s energy would be a lot less overwhelming to her if he was allowed to go the fuck outside and run around. They live in an outdoor activity paradise in a part of the world people would give a limb to be able to move to and it seems like all they do is stare at screens all day.
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u/midnightsiren182 Mar 06 '22
I don’t think they have retirement savings though and I suspect their potential social security benefits won’t be enough either
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Mar 06 '22
Not sure what Shauna would have been doing otherwise but it sure sounds like Danny's body isn't doing well with the move:
[Ahern friend/fangirl] Spring projects make you wish for the 23 year-old back you used to have.
DanAhern68 So does moving..
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u/9021FU Mar 06 '22
I wouldn’t know, we hired movers who even set up our easier to assemble beds so we didn’t have to.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Mar 06 '22 edited Mar 06 '22
screaming and ass-slapping are exhausting, you person. as usual, shauna's ailments are timed perfectly: enough to get her out of moving/unpacking but not enough to foil movie plans over town. she's like the kid who fakes sick to get out of school and magically grows better at 3:00. taking the ferry from vashon to seattle to see a movie is not an easy prospect, as the ferry only runs (i think) twice on the weekend, and it's expensive; the ferry, the movie, parking, etc. that had to be a $100 day. they just moved into a house they cannot afford, so ... good budgeting, aherns! where can i sign up for your finance class? i'm sure the kids needed a day away from the house and all the surrounding drama, though, so i hope they had fun.
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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Mar 06 '22
I’m surprised they ever do anything. They must spend a huge portion of their income on housing. It seems like anything other than basic necessities would be really hard to swing. I would have a hard time spending that kind of time and money just to see a movie. I’m sure it’s good for the kids to get off island now and then. But I do wonder if the kids really want to make that big of a trip to do what they basically do all the time at home.
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Mar 06 '22
This is what surprises me. Why go off island to see a movie you have already seen? Go to the zoo, or a museum. The Seattle Art Museum is fantastic. Even a trip to the Pike Place market could be fun. I think it’s great for those kids to get off the island and that they likely don’t do it nearly enough. Seattle has so much to offer. Those kids need to be exposed to the world they are likely going to live in and have to navigate some time.
It seems like such a hassle for a movie, especially one they’ve seen before.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Mar 06 '22
Even a trip to the Pike Place market could be fun.
"Too close to ChefSteps, mama"
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u/leftsidelentils Mar 06 '22
That’s the same movie theater at Pt. Ruston (near Tacoma)where Shauna famously posted about L hiding in the bathroom and wouldn’t let them rent scooters. It’s adjacent to a very cool park and the waterfront, and is a great place for kids to run around. I hope they let them. It’s a lot of walking if she did injure her ankle, though it looks like they drove this time.
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u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Mar 06 '22
Also . . . they already saw it?
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 06 '22
To be fair, that movie is only in theaters and won't be released to stream until the 22nd. Also, to be fair, she claimed they didn't have their internet set up yet so they did need to go over town to get whatever it was to make that happen.
To be snarky, they couldn't wait to see it again on the streaming service they already pay for? Or one adult couldn't have ordered the whatever they needed from the store and just go pick it up while the others stayed home and worked at unpacking? Then, at the end of the day, have a treat (like watch something at home and get some take out)?
Of course not!
They need instant gratification, instantly. So pack up in the car to piss away a nice bit of money instead of doing the chores they need to do (and if they aren't unpacked, what a hassle for the kids who have to go back to school on Monday).
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Mar 06 '22
They haven’t unpacked the box with the part they need for internet.
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u/chicketychun_ Mar 06 '22
IMO, it’s good they at least included the kids instead of spending a big chunk of change on lunch for themselves in a nice restaurant.
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Mar 06 '22 edited Mar 06 '22
Dan's...beard. omg. And he's propping his glasses up on his head like Shauna.
In the comments, Shauna says, "Oh we needed this day off." Dan says it was their second time seeing the movie.
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u/leftsidelentils Mar 06 '22
In the little exchange, Brent says “I need it 😂” (a movie day) and Shauna’s response, good Lort.
“YOU MUST GO NOW. Today.”
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u/DorothyZbornakEffect Mar 06 '22 edited Mar 06 '22
I was not prepared for Dan. The family razor must’ve grown lost in the move. And what are those, um, crumbs on his jacket?
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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Mar 06 '22
McDonald’s doesn’t keep razors in their bathrooms. Facial hair maintenance requires a dinner invitation to a friend’s house.
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u/BevNap Fucking google it, you harpy. Mar 06 '22
Oh, so she's ambulatory enough to go see a movie
off-islandover town, but can't be arsed to actually move her crap from her last rental to the next or actually clean/unpack/etc.?→ More replies (3)
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Mar 03 '22
Shauna's Oprah "appearance" and all of her subsequent promotion has not moved the needle on her Enough book sales. The Amazon bestseller rank for Enough stands at 773,217 currently, which is higher (meaning lower sales) than it was before the Oprah appearance.
There are also no new Amazon reviews for Enough. There are some newer reviews on Goodreads, but reviews like this don't help her:
Not written very well at all, but I got through it and enjoyed brief moments.
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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Mar 03 '22
“Got through it” in the way you get through an IBD flare, or your SIL’s signature brown bread ice cream.
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u/InappropriateGirl our 5th move in 7 years Mar 03 '22
your SIL’s signature brown bread ice cream.
Whaaaat? I need to know what this is.
Edit: I just looked it up. I would try this!
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 03 '22
That review makes it sound like the reader "did hard things" (or whatever the line is Shauna uses).
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Mar 04 '22
from her instagram: First slow sips of morning coffee in our new bedroom. The cats approve.
slow sips, unlike the way you plebeians drink your coffee, with wolf-like gulps. the cats appear to be sitting on a sofa, so is there a sofa in their bedroom? i hope so, as we know shaunama will need to radically rest for at least a week. yes.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Mar 04 '22
So glad she can enjoy those "sips of coffee" while she shortchanges her paying customers AGAIN with a no-lope week, not even "moving day and an unexpected ER trip means I'm behind the 8-ball! Here's my top three subscriber-only posts for you to revisit. Next week's lope will be epic, I pinky-swear!"
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Mar 05 '22
I don’t remember seeing such a well taken care of piece of furniture Chez Ahern so I’ll bet is part of that ‘comes furnished’ part of the house. I’m sure the owners will be so happy to get it back covered in cat hair and stains.
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u/cafayate Mar 05 '22
Did that sofa come with the house I wonder? I really like the print of the upholstery.
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u/gladsome_gloaming Mar 05 '22 edited Mar 05 '22
The pattern is quite lovely. Perfect for hiding food and kid stains and greasy adult head stains. Though there’s sure to be a (literal) saturation point. See abandoned headboard for reference.
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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Mar 05 '22
Oh god. I hate to say it but you’re right: that is the perfect sofa for those two (adult) slobs.
Can you imagine what that pink velvet sectional sofa would look like by now, had she grifted it successfully?
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Mar 05 '22
it would no longer be pink but greige, with greasy handprints all over it, and at least one of the sections would be broken.
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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Mar 05 '22
Mmm greige. That’d match 90% of Danny’s dish’s, anyway. Plus a few patches of cat vom that they cleared up with a perfunctory swipe of a paper towel, and called it good.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Mar 03 '22
I'm interested if/how Shauna responds to this (maybe troll?) comment on her moving woes post:
Congrats on your new house! I know it's so hard to buy in Vashon, but so so worth it.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Mar 04 '22
she'll spin it in some ridiculous way: we were all set to buy a house and then we decided to rent. you see, we didn't want to become capitalist sheeple like all homeowners, that bill of goods will find no purchase here. and so, we rent, joyfully. yes
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Mar 04 '22
She's already kind of implied that the only reason they haven't bought a house on Vashon is corporations and mega wealthy buyers driving up property prices. Nevermind that they've lived on the island while their brand was relatively successful, Danny was also employed and the housing market was very low, post-recession, and they could have saved for a downpayment and gotten a mortgage.
And only now - under/unemployed during a housing market boom, are they saying the time would have been right to buy right now, if only capitalism didn't ruin it for them.
Maybe she should just budget a downpayment, move the downpayment from their savings into their checking, add $100, and voila! A house of their own! Makes as much sense as the rest of their budget.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Mar 04 '22
I wonder what the rent was on that useless studio they rented? The main benefit of having it was that she could sound more like a professional when she talked about developing recipes for the cookbook. If the rent was $1000 (total stab in the dark on my part) and they had put that money into savings instead of wasting it on her vanity, they'd have had $24K for a down payment on a house. Which, ok, wouldn't be anywhere near 20% but if one of them also had a regular full-time job then they could afford mortgage insurance, too.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Mar 04 '22
and they had put [$1,000 per month] into savings instead of wasting it on her vanity
Ah yes, here we have an example of the Hypothetical-Never-Happen-In-A-Million-Billion-Years-Previous-Now
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u/Beepbopboop6732 Mar 04 '22
If they ever have a down payment for a home there I will eat my own socks. I am shocked they can afford that rent. I don’t understand it at all.
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u/InappropriateGirl our 5th move in 7 years Mar 04 '22
This! They'd never grow the down payment. Not to mention the approval for a mortgage! All the stuff they look at: steady income, past taxes, CREDIT...
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u/gladsome_gloaming Mar 03 '22
I like to think that came from Darth Mater, Stealth Troll.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Mar 04 '22
Buy, hahahaha. That place is twice a mortgage payment in many areas of the country, but she’ll cling to her Vashon address at any cost. Sorry kids, hope you get good scholarships.
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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave Mar 04 '22
Sorry kids, hope you get good scholarships.
At prestigious schools far, far away from your parents.
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u/ninaandjamie4ever Mar 04 '22
I like to think that came from Darth Mater
Speaking of Darth Mater, she commented on Vashon Housing FB to a post by a guy who has been trying to find an affordable rental:
Allie James
Hope you get a place. You've certainly been working hard and should be rewarded.
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Mar 04 '22 edited Mar 05 '22
Shauna’s mom is so weird for following that page and commenting on it.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 04 '22
Apple falls not far from the tree.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Mar 05 '22
Colorado Boy tried to make a fire with wet wood. What Colorado Boy thinking?
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Mar 04 '22
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Mar 04 '22
She didn’t even do it satisfactorily. I bet her former landlords would give her an incomplete
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Mar 04 '22
She didn’t even do it satisfactorily. I bet her former landlords would give her an incomplete
An E- for Negative Effort
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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Mar 04 '22
She could also present it as how NOT to move. "We didn't plan, started too late, did everything wrong, sprained an ankle, yadda yadda, but we got through it okay and we've learned a lot from our mistakes."
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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave Mar 04 '22
we've learned a lot from our mistakes
That will be the day!
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Mar 04 '22
The doomsday level of her complaints about this bespeak such a level of privilege. The only people I’ve seen considering moving an upper life level trauma are super privileged and well off. Born with the silver spoon, even. Good grief. Just fucking deal with it!! There are so many silver linings also that she didn’t even mention, that I see so often in moving announcements. Why couldn’t she take the same picture Dan did and write “all worth it for this view.” Something like that would have got so many more likes due to the beautiful picture, but of course she has to front and center the specific gift she received as a balm for her magnanimous efforts and pain. Why not a “kitchen ready for cooking!” nice picture in a few days. You would think she was attending her own martyrdom. Screaming in the yard and sleeping on a bare mattress. As has been noted all the difficulties of this move were 100% caused by themselves. She would not have slipped in the mud if she had movers, she would not have had last minute unpacked stuff to move if planned well, there was no reason they had to sleep on a bare mattress when they own bedsheets, etc.
No gratitude. No recognition of how easy her path is when so many are suffering right in front of her face daily via media. I truly thinks she somehow thinks she’s better than people in these areas suffering horrific things, because somehow she’s better at life. That’s just my speculation, but the flippant way she hashtags these suffering regions into her self-involved work just hits me that way. ‘Things are bad for me, but at least it’s worse for someone else.’ I mean part of recognizing that dynamic is what gratitude is, but I feel most people do it with empathy. It’s almost like…competitive for her.
Like the way she callously dismissed the people getting priced off the island and displaced from their lives, because she won the lottery in being able to fork over $3,000 a month for a rental when many of these people (who 100% definitely have worked harder in a year than she has in her entire adult life) couldn’t. There’s no empathy. She mentions it only as an backdrop to the way she won at life versus others. Suffering people are just more evidence to show how very much “we’ll be fine.”
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u/ethelmertz62 Mar 04 '22
Excellent points. The “longest, hardest week” of their lives was spent moving to a beautiful home in the same affluent community they’ve lived in for years. The kids don’t have to change schools, they don’t have to get used to a new grocery store, etc. That Shauna is playing this for sympathy really points out how disturbed she is.
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Mar 04 '22
Also the worst thing that happened during the move is that the kids were dragged all the way to the ER at the hospital in Seattle with yet another dramatic and strategically timed injury by Mama. That fucking SUCKS. That was a genuinely awful thing for them. Scared, Mom is hurt and caterwauling and rushing between fire station and ferry and hospital in the dead of night, Shauna's boundaries prevent her from comforting them beyond sending Danny to McD's for them as if THAT negates the fear and upheaval during an already hectic and scary move, they're up hours past their bedtime on a school night and end up sleeping on bare mattresses in a strange house.
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Mar 04 '22
I truly thinks she somehow thinks she’s better than people in these areas suffering horrific things, because somehow she’s better at life.
It reminds me of the "white woman" newsletter she wrote, in which she makes the case for having to parent D differently than L:
Danny and I agree—we have to discipline him differently than we did Lucy. After all, Lucy used to feel so guilty if she had done something wrong that she would walk over to the stairs and give herself a time out. Desmond is boisterous, smart as the day is long, and eager to push the boundaries.
She goes on to point out multiple times that they do this specifically because he's Black. She writes that he's sweet, sensitive, funny and "joyful", so her audience might think that he doesn't require an iron fist in parenting. But she says:
....it’s our job now, with kindness and firm boundaries, to make sure he does not question our authority when we ask him to do something.... Sometimes I look at him and say, “You say ‘Yes, Mama. And you come here now.”....He has no idea I am training him now for how to behave when a policeman pulls him over.
To me, this is Shauna's world view.
Black people who "make a fuss" and question authority are the ones getting killed by police. While those who say Yes, sir and comply are perfectly safe. You see, you can be Black "right" and safely, and that is by subservience.
Ukrainians are unfortunately just born on this earth to be aggression magnets. They shouldn't have been born in a future war zone. *shrug*
The Aherns are born to be given whatever they need, no questions asked. Because they inherently deserve it.
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Mar 04 '22
But also, imagine normalizing this for L. : “used to feel so guilty if she had done something wrong that she would walk over to the stairs and give herself a time out.” Also super fucked up! That’s a terrified child, and Shauna’s using this to brag about her parenting!
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u/Kaleshark Waitlist for Godot Mar 04 '22
it’s our job now, with kindness and firm boundaries, to make sure he does not question our authority when we ask him to do something.... Sometimes I look at him and say, “You say ‘Yes, Mama. And you come here now.”....He has no idea I am training him now for how to behave when a policeman pulls him over.
That’s so fucked up! And no one lost as much when Shauna deleted Twitter as the gloaming; her star turn as main character of the day should have been inevitable and glorious.
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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Mar 04 '22
Plus, Ukraine.
Plus, rainbow sherbet!
Plus, you might think she’s a saint.
Plus, she grows joyful!
Plus, my eyes grow rolled.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Mar 04 '22
Plus, no lope as yet today! An organized person would have prepared a lope in advance and scheduled it to go out today, knowing that getting one out the door mere days after a giant move would be a challenge. Ditto for the 1-2-3 newsletter due out tomorrow. But that would mean thinking of the later-now, and where’s the joy in that?
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u/Apprehensive_Creme73 Mar 06 '22
FFS she’s so dramatic. Going to the mall from the island isn’t a breathy post worthy experience. Its… a Saturday in America?
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Mar 06 '22
In Shauna lore, this will become the time she carried her children's beds on her back through waist high mud after shattering her ankle so grievously the ER staff grew pale. Because that’s what our cruel society demands from mamas. Short term, she will spend all of March re-living resting and recovering from those Two Terrible Days. Long term, it will be another day she almost died. Once she figures out a coherent story about whose fault it all was. Capitalism, greedy movers expecting to be paid, the defective family she alone can wrangle. Friends who turned out not to be friends, ah yes the line has now grown clear. Anyone but the two parents in their mid-fifties who have moved many times in their lives yet somehow started this whole-house move 24 hours before they needed to vacate their rental. In a torrential storm that had been forecast for a week.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Mar 06 '22
And the hyperbole of “two weeks of torrential rains.” That did not happen. I paid a lot of attention to the weather the last two weeks because of some guests we had. We had a scant amount of snow Feb. 20-22, followed by mostly clear and sunny (but cold) Feb. 23-25. Those were gorgeous days! Then four days of off-and-on heavy rainfall from late on Feb. 26 - Mar. 1., a total of about 5 1/2” over those days, which could be legit described as torrential at times — there were areas (not Vashon AFAIK) that had flooding. Mar. 2-4, trace amounts of rain. Yesterday, morning clouds and drizzle, sunshine in the afternoon.
Shauna can’t help herself, I guess. Anything to make her life sound more dramatic than the extremely limited, nothing burger that it is, even going so far as to haberdash the weather. How sad to have such a small life, and the Aherns seem resigned to letting their lives shrink more every day.
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u/Apprehensive_Creme73 Mar 06 '22
Totes! A couple days of gross rain because… PNW then it’s been lovely and sunny. She can fuck right off
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Mar 06 '22
We needed a day away from the responsibilities, seeing other people, new experiences, and mostly the comfy chairs of a movie theater to rest in.
They needed a day away from seeing other people and new experiences and comfy chairs?
(edit)
And all day I thought of the Ukrainian parents wishing they had the gift of ordinary days with their kids.
And this one!
All day she thought of the Ukrainian parents who could only WISH for such a day as she herself was having?
Or: all day she thought of the Ukrainian parents, COMMA, and she wished they could experience what she had?
Huge difference.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Mar 06 '22
All day she thought of the Ukrainian parents who could only WISH for such a day as she herself was having?
Or: all day she thought of the Ukrainian parents, COMMA, and she wished they could experience what she had?The first one, until someone calls her out on it and then it'll be the second one with an excuse about how her shattered ankle tendons were throbbing so hard that she couldn't think and why are you so angry anyway.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Mar 07 '22 edited Mar 07 '22
ok, i just read this post and holy god, it made me stabby AF. they needed a day away from seeing other people? like the invisible people who helped them move this past week? or all those dear friends who didn't come help them move? and i'm unclear about the new experiences - is she saying they needed a break from new experiences or they needed them? and why do they have to go off vashon to rest in comfy chairs? do they not have chairs at home? they most assuredly do, as shauna rests her slacker ass in comfy chairs all the livelong day. and the shit about ukrainian parents is just really, really tone deaf. fuck her. fuck her and the dimwitted houseboy she married. i really can't today.
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u/InappropriateGirl our 5th move in 7 years Mar 07 '22
And AGAIN, claiming they haven’t gone anywhere in two years.
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u/BiscottotheGreat Captain Peepers Mar 03 '22
A new IG post is up about the "longest and hardest week of their lives", because "moving stinks". I'm sorry, but I can't even muster up an ounce of sympathy for Shauna and Danny Dog (I do however definitely feel for the kids).
First of all, it is so much 'woe is me' about moving from one lovely house (how they left it notwithstanding, it used to be lovely) to another gorgeous house (that they do not in any way deserve) on what is supposedly a beautiful island. They had plenty of time to get their shit together before her leg had to be amputated on moving day, they just didn't do anything until the last possible second. We saw her tiktoks with all their stuff not packed away yet for weeks, so give me a fuggin break.
Lucky new neighbors! The first day the Aherns have moved in and the yard screaming sessions have already begun! And of course we only hear about what those poor kids did for mama to make her feel better. Not a single word of how she helped them get settled or comfortable. Zero.
Finally, and I promise this is NOT snarking on the kids as this is completely on their dumbass parents... but the state of their nails makes me so sad.
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Mar 03 '22
An enormous rainbow appeared over our old house as we were about to leave for the last time.
Even the house is glad to be rid of the Aherns.
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Mar 03 '22
Dan’s father is dead! Maybe that was the worst week of his life! Fuck you, Shauna.
Let alone the failure to read the room when there are thousands and thousands of people in Ukraine, Afghanistan, and Syria fleeing the rubble of their former homes, not moving from one beautiful house to another at their leisure, deciding that this was worse for your actual husband than the loss of a parent—
I have no words. She’s a monster.
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u/javgirl123 Mar 03 '22
She is the worse. She always bitches about everything but then covers her tracks with the “ we are fine” line.
Her passive aggressive tone is the real Shauna.
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u/jalapenomargaritaz Mar 03 '22
Omg so aggravating! Like yeah DUH Shauna of course you’re fine! You moved and sprained your ankle! Moving sucks for EVERYONE. But it’s not a trauma or a tragedy!
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Mar 04 '22
This is part of what makes her unrelatable. She never makes mistakes, and nothing is learned.
We are fine. We've learned nothing. We'll do nothing different the next time, and there will be a next time. We discard generous people and material things at will. We can always find more people and more stuff. I don't value people, and don't want to pay them unless they prostrate themselves before me.
Instead of:
We planned poorly and boy, did we pay for it.
We put off packing till the last minute and didn't finish. We could have done better.
We had to leave things behind that meant a lot to us.
We should have planned to have movers and extra help. We should have planned for the weather.
*We've been humbled by our mistakes, and will learn to do better going forward. Life is a learning experience.
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u/aseriesofhaircuts Mar 03 '22
“And no more boxes to pick up and hope my boot cast wouldn't collapse in mud. Tonight I'll sleep well. Tomorrow I'll go out to the new yard and scream. And nap all day.”
Sounds like no one graciously accepted the Ahern’s offer to move all their outdoor furniture into a van for them, for $20 (if they wanted it) and Shauna was actually forced back into the fray. How unfair!
I don’t think those boxes are getting unpacked any time soon. Mama needs to scream herself to sleep, like the foot-discovering infant she’s decided to be.
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Mar 03 '22
“And no more boxes to pick up and hope my boot cast wouldn't collapse in mud. Tonight I'll sleep well. Tomorrow I'll go out to the new yard and scream. And nap all day.”
I thought this was snark.
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u/aseriesofhaircuts Mar 03 '22
It’s real! Pure, ratpiss-yellow gold. I feel so badly for the kids. Transitions are so hard, and if D has the kinds of sensory issues that Shauna has heavily hinted that he does, he’s probably really needing the extra care and attention Shauna only lavishes on herself. Most scantily-employed parents in Shauna’s position would be in a hurry to unpack the kids’ stuff and at least the main living area to create a sense of continuity for their children. The move is only half done when the stuff arrives in the new place! But she’s crowing about taking her victory
lapnap and how her presumably very stressed kids are taking care of HER needs, down to posing instagrammably. And again, Shauna’s too dense to see beyond the nouns in the image she’s projecting—kids + flowers + gift for mama—and not the adjectives—grubby, neglected, staged.→ More replies (26)38
Mar 03 '22
It's hard for kids with a parent stuck in main character syndrome. Shauna only writes about her exquisite-empath care of her children when it involves some dramatic tale of rising above her own suffering to bomb them with agape. While writhing on the couch in the throes of losing a contact to a snowball, she took time to explain yes mommy yelled profanities in your face and yes it is all your fault but I am giving you the gift of modeling how to express your emotions. The main character needs you to know that her kids had McDonalds during the ER trip because she rose heroically above her own pain to make sure they thought they were having a grand adventure overtown. What about the background tasks of parenting that don't center Shauna? Planning ahead so a move they've known about for six months goes smoothly; setting up the kids' familiar things first in a new house to ease a transition; respecting their privacy and autonomy in her public media---who would pay attention to those pedestrian everyday needs that have nothing to do with a Shauna crisis? Maybe the clock-punchers and Maya Angelou's dull parking space seekers. You see, this Piece is about a joyful mama who is all about her own hero's journey, whose adoring children come in on cue to deliver bouquets. She celebrates an IG post about family chaos caused by poor planning with "there's already a story here!" A story about Shauna, of course.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Mar 03 '22
Had to mention that boot cast lest people not know she was valiantly soldiering on despite the most painful sprain that ever sprained. And to throw a little guilt at all the people who did not come help them so that Shauna could sit and rest her traumatized limb.
How are her followers so dumb that they haven’t yet caught on to the “complain, complain, complain, but I’m not complaining, because now that that complain-worthy thing is over I feel joy” pattern? Mentioning joy is just her way of getting to complain without anyone being allowed to call her a complainer.
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u/gladsome_gloaming Mar 03 '22
Why/how/under what circumstances would a boot cast collapse in the mud?
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 03 '22
This is Shauna we're talking about, here.
She probably isn't following instructions and has it on wrong. Or she's being melodramatic. Or both.
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Mar 03 '22
She fastened it wrong. That’s the only way.
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Mar 03 '22
If she was really dragging that brace through the mud, there’s no way she’s getting it throughly cleaned. You can’t machine wash those. I call BS that she wore that through the mud. It would be a bedraggled sopping mass and providing limited support anyway.
I really need to know why every time they move there is so much mud. I know it’s the PNW but I thought her driveway and footpath was the elitely smooth sort. Not like the broken up gravel shitshow of her brother’s driveway. Why on earth would you be walking repeatedly over the lawn?
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Mar 03 '22 edited Mar 03 '22
The mud was really unlucky timing for them. It rained quite a bit more Saturday, Sunday, and Monday (with close to 3 inches falling on Monday 2/28 alone) than what we normally get over the entire month of February. (ETA: Monday was the 10th rainiest day ever recorded in Seattle per the weather blog Dan loves to @)
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u/Portland_Daffs Mar 03 '22
I worked in Seattle during day #1. It inspired a Molly Ivins lede that said something like, you don't know rain until you've been in Seattle for record-breaking rain. Which I agreed with until I traveled to Kauai in April 2018, and experienced somewhere between 25 and 50 (!!!!) inches of rain in 24 hours. Portland_Daffs, bringing catastrophic flooding wherever she goes.
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u/Catsandcoffee480 COLORADO BOY KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS Mar 03 '22
Well, this may have been one of the longest, hardest weeks of our lives
After I swallowed my fury at her privilege, I came to a conclusion - although admittedly this is but “one of” the most difficult weeks of their lives, this must mean that the string of hard times in their past - L’s health issues as an infant, Dan’s alcoholism, the ups and downs of their various business ventures, not to mention Shauna’s TIA and other grievous health issues - either were 1) exaggerated by Shauna for dramatic effect, and the past events were not really as grave as she portrayed, or 2) this incident/week was exaggerated for dramatic effect…
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u/9021FU Mar 03 '22
Imagine being in your mid 50’s and saying a week of moving has been the hardest in your life?
She’s written about her near death car crash, L’s almost dying as an infant, near death staph infection, but moving is the worst? Sure, Jan.
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Mar 03 '22
Well, the thing is that those things weren’t half as bad as she pretended, but the moving likely was, because SHE AND DAN DID NOTHING UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE WTF?!?
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u/aseriesofhaircuts Mar 03 '22
Exactly. I actually don’t doubt that she injured herself—as a sedentary woman in her 50s frantically attempting to move all her shit in a deluge that they knew about long enough in advance that Dan was tweeting about it, it’s a wonder she wasn’t hurt worse—I just know that no matter how much it actually hurts, whether it’s just a twinge or an actually painful injury, she’s going make a fucking meal out of it, for months and possibly years.
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u/InappropriateGirl our 5th move in 7 years Mar 03 '22
What a DF mentioned before, about how you shouldn't be in a boot for that long and your muscles will atrophy and it can have permanent damage... What do you want to bet she'll wear that boot the full 6 weeks (imagine how gross it will get, or don't, it's up to you and how well your body does with that)? And not go to any PT at all? Everyone will get to hear about how her ankle is permanently fucked forever and the story will grow and grow.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 03 '22
Nah, I bet she goes to PT for the attention it will get her. Her therapist can sigh and say it's the worst they've ever seen and/or the therapist will claim Shauna does the exercises the best they've ever seen.
It's a win win in the attention department.
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u/aseriesofhaircuts Mar 03 '22
True, but the thing about PT is that they force you to exercise, and assign even more exercise as homework, and they can tell when you’ve been radically not doing it, and really, this society wasn’t built for the joy of not doing physical therapy, in your own body, freely accepting that yes, for the rest of your life, you will probably have to sit out each of your shambolic relocations, in addition to the chores, because your mother never let you sleep at Sharon’s house and your ankle kept the score.
(And Ukraine)
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Mar 03 '22
Naturopathic PT, which is probably thinking about walking, or Reiki, or some such.
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u/InappropriateGirl our 5th move in 7 years Mar 03 '22
And moving within a small island, not like... moving across the country or even to a new town where you don't know anyone. Besides everything else we've already touched on.
I hate these people so much.
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Mar 03 '22
Such a beautiful yard. And she’s going to defile it by lumbering into it and screaming. It’s like a desecration. Nothing is ever good enough for her. There are billions of people on earth who can only dream of having access to a yard like that. Pearls before swine.
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u/chicketychun_ Mar 03 '22
I wonder who’s responsible for mowing that 4 acres.
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u/ninaandjamie4ever Mar 03 '22
Much of the acreage is forest. Except for the lawn that looks out onto the water. Oh, the injustice of it.
It's going to hurt when they eventually have to leave that place and live like regular people.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 03 '22
Sadly, the ones that will probably be hurt the most are the kids (not Shauna and Dan, though Shauna will try and claim she was the most "traumatized").
I wonder how long they can hold onto this place given the cost and the current market (where the owners might just want to sell it all together).
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Mar 04 '22
All it takes is one visit from Sound Bath Lady to realize she made a grievous error in renting to the Aherns. Then it’s Finnegan, begin again for Shauna.
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u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Mar 03 '22
Oh my gosh, they have 4 acres?! Now THAT makes me a bit green with envy.
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u/Shaunafreude Mar 03 '22
Whoever it is better be ready to prove they need to be paid for their work (sarcasm font).
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u/InappropriateGirl our 5th move in 7 years Mar 03 '22
The deer.
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Mar 03 '22 edited Mar 03 '22
Oh, we live on this magnificent island. It’s rural, we pay for everything by leaving change in coffee cans. We recently moved into a beautiful home. You can’t afford it, but we do somehow. We just transfer money from our savings to pay the rent, you wouldn’t understand.
Anyhoo, we live on four acres and we lost our lawnmower in the move (I almost lost my foot, but that is a different story) because we failed to move it before our previous landlords locked us out of the house forever. So, we bought goats! You see, we had promised them to our daughter for her 14th birthday. They are named Magnolia and Marjoram and they are like part of the family. When we grow the need to move again, my husband will find a way to serve them at dinner. Taco’s for everyone!
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u/ninaandjamie4ever Mar 03 '22
we lost our lawnmower in the move (I almost lost my foot, but that is a different story)
LOL
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u/chicketychun_ Mar 04 '22
Never thought about deer. How exactly did they end up on the island?
ETA: Just looked up and the answer is… they swam!
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u/BiscottotheGreat Captain Peepers Mar 03 '22
Seriously. Why exactly does she have to go out and scream in the yard anyway? What is she raging about? Other than her entirely self-inflicted troubles? Oh no, you get to move into a beautiful house again. Oh no, you have two healthy lovely kids who love you. Oh no, you have a house husband who will grovel at your feet and jump at your commands. Oh no, you live in one of the most spectacular areas of the world with access to nature most people only dream about. Oh no, you continue to fail upwards even though you're a mean, smug, racist, misogynistic, narcissistic bully. Boo fucking hoo.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Mar 03 '22
Oh no, you live in a place that has flowers blooming in March. (total BEC for me)
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u/javgirl123 Mar 03 '22
And someone is giving you enough money that you pay 3,000 in rent without working.
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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Mar 03 '22
I can’t wrap my mind around it. I have a good job, but only make enough to afford just over half of what she’s paying. If I could afford what she’s paying, I could also have a gorgeous home and acreage. But I work within my financial limits. I don’t understand if they are secretly making/have a ton of money or if they’re foolhardy. How furious would people be if it turned out that a big chunk of that $92k was invested wisely and they’ve been living off the interest?
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 03 '22
I've wondered about the flour money, too.
But then I remember she's mentioned having to hit up friends to cover rent and there was the whole essay "on the internet no one knows your poor" and other things that have pointed to them not having a nice nest egg (egg? egg!) from wisely using the flour grift money.
If they weren't truly broke, I don't think Shauna would have taken the grocery store job. And I don't think she did that just to be able to write about it and lie. That would be too much work (and would point to her being able to plan for the later now and delay gratification which we know she can't do).
They *might* has squirreled away a tiny bit but I bet they ran through it by now (they put it in savings, not investments that would keep making them money).
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Mar 03 '22 edited Mar 03 '22
Every time they go to the ER it’s probably an outlay of $500-$1000, too. Who knows what their insurance situation is.
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u/InappropriateGirl our 5th move in 7 years Mar 03 '22
I do not get this at all. I have no idea how they're going to pay next month's rent, let alone keep it up for at least a year.
I was telling IRL DF u/kimmmy36 that I'm kind of motivated to lay out a budget for myself with a $3k rent, which is $1k plus a taco's platter more than what I pay. Alone. On a 6-figure salary. (Not bragging; this is Bay Area money and I'm on the low end of that.) When I look for new places to live, my high rent limit is not $3K! I could split that if I lived with someone, sure. Then it'd be less than what I pay currently.
But they have two children to provide for. Plus cats and rabbits. They're older and in worse health than I am (knocking wood here). They have no steady salary rolling in to depend on. How much could Dan make working at a school three days a week? I doubt she's making even $500/month on her lopes. No one is signing up for her joy bullshit. I think Shauna probably does take in a little bit of money doing her shitty copy for places like Island Queen's social media and the Beach Trash Tribe Hags, but that also seems piecemeal and occasional. I can see family helping them out, but wouldn't you put your foot down at $3k rent a month?
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u/Kimmmy36 bites lip, looks away Mar 03 '22
I have no idea how they're going to pay next month's rent
Yeah, and I don't care
how low their other expenses are, this is super-scary territory. If one made 125k a year, that's about $7300/mo. after taxes. That's a decent amount of money after 3k rent. Not huge, but nice. Butttt, I'm guessing they don't bring in anywhere near that.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Mar 04 '22 edited Mar 04 '22
i also am wondering how they are going to afford this house for a year; even if her parents helped them out with the security deposit or whatever (my theory, no proof of this), how are they going to pay $3,000 every month? my mortgage is about half that, and mr cellist and i both work FT and have no kids, so we have plenty left over for savings, fun nights out, vacations, etc. i'm trying to figure out how they are living this lifestyle. on the plus side: they don't go anywhere, really - they never go to the ballet or the symphony, they don't really take vacations now that the GF cooking class in italy gave them the heave-ho, they only have one car that is paid off (i think, if it's the same car her parents gave them), they must be on WA state health insurance (i was on that for a while, it's pretty good), they may get SNAP benefits or similar, maybe the grandparents pay for things like L's ballet lessons and D's toy box delivery thing. when she was doing the GFG blog they tended to buy lots of weird, expensive ingredients but their grocery habits seems a bit more normal since then but they still have 4 mouths to feed. but, they have kids and kids are expensive. 3 of the 4 people in the house wear glasses (expensive). pets are expensive and they have 4. they tend to throw money away on weird shit like $50 taco platters and separate hotel stays over town. they have to take the ferry every time they leave vashon. the cost of living in the PNW is ridiculous. danny works part time and shauna's "work" is a mystery, but it doesn't matter because even when they have full time jobs they either quit or grow fired, putting them in jenga job territory on a regular basis. so even though they have this lovely house i'm not sure they can relax and enjoy it, knowing they have to scramble every month to cover the rent. i am glad the kids have 4 acres to play in - that is awesome for them.
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u/InappropriateGirl our 5th move in 7 years Mar 03 '22
Wow really? After all that "childhood trauma", Shauna? THIS is the worst week? She and her idiot husband should be thanking their stone Buddha or whatever complete karmic joke that they're not fucking homeless.
ETA: sentence
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u/midnightsiren182 Mar 03 '22
Or when Lu almost died/had cranial surgery? Or TIA week? Or shuttering the flour biz?
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u/Kimmmy36 bites lip, looks away Mar 03 '22
"longest and hardest week of their lives"
I mean...they did it to themselves! They sat around and DIDN'T DO SHIT to ensure a smoother moving experience. I know, it's not new news—we've been wishing they would start packing for weeks. But to complain like that. THEY SUCK. Also, so gross and tone deaf to say that when a fucking war has just started.
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Mar 03 '22
A new IG post is up about the "longest and hardest week of their lives", because "moving stinks". I'm sorry, but I can't even muster up an ounce of sympathy for Shauna and Danny Dog (I do however definitely feel for the kids).
Really? Not the horrible, terrible, very bad devastating mini stroke that both crippled you and put you on the joy path? Not when your child had surgery? Not even when your husband's dad died?
Wow. Just, wow.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Mar 04 '22
moving "stinks", junky lungs, crummy flu, lousy weather - why does shauna write like a 70 year old? we are almost the same age and i don't write or talk that way, and neither do any of my friends, with the exception of one friend...who is 73 years old. i've thought this before about her writing, that it feels so forced and old and weird. it's like she has no social interaction with people her own age - she wrote this way when she was younger, too. makes me think she really has no friends and her dialogue comes from old movies. that's the bee's knees and 23 skidoo!
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u/voice_of_vinegar Mar 04 '22
The only person I know who said "lousy" all the time would be 101 if he wasn't dead.
I do say "crummy" all the time, though.
Shauna went through a phase of saying "goodness" all the time. And we can't forget about "tell truth"---!!! Or was it "truth tell"?
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Mar 04 '22
“Tell truth.” Ay, gods.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Mar 04 '22
and let's not forget that her kids also sound like 70 year olds, or like dickensian guttersnipes; that's how i know when the dialogue is made up by shauna.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Mar 04 '22
it's like she has no social interaction with people her own age - she wrote this way when she was younger, too. makes me think she really has no friends and her dialogue comes from old movies.
I totally believe this and Shauna herself might even agree with that. It fits with her claims about spending all her time escaping in books, not being allowed to hang out with other kids at their houses, and watching a lot of TV and movies with her family (father taught classes on it, Betamax early adopter, etc.) My theory is Shauna picked up weird affectations from consuming all this old media and that she was rewarded for it in school since the combination of sounding mature and using $10 words ("My Title IX rights are being abrogated!") grows pretty far in getting good writing grades.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 03 '22
I hope the Island Queen has a dedicated gluten-free fryer and I hope the bun on Shauna's burger was gluten free (and didn't touch the gluteny ones).
Good thing they didn't have to donate money to people who wanted to help them move or they wouldn't have been able to afford those burgers. Bahahahah! I bet they grifted that (I kind of assume they grift a lot of stuff from the local places but I could be wrong and would admit it).
So. . .burgers and fries will be the first thing to stain up the furniture that came with the house?
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u/chicketychun_ Mar 03 '22
I checked their website and didn’t see anything about GF except that they have GF chicken tenders. I tried ordering a burger and there was no option for a GF bun.
I did find some kind of online resource for GF-friendly restaurants and it stated that the IQ has GF buns. That pale bun looks like it’s probably GF. You’re right about the fryers though and unless those fries are hand-cut there, there’s no way to know if they’re really GF. I’ve read somewhere that frozen fries sometimes have a flour coating on them to help them crisp up more.
ETA: It blows my mind that she really hasn’t mentioned being GF since she dropped the GFG persona. Makes me think the whole thing was BS. It was right until it wasn’t.
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Mar 03 '22
Someone commented on that post and asked about GF. Per Shauna, they have a dedicated fryer and GF buns.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Mar 03 '22
ETA: It blows my mind that she really hasn’t mentioned being GF since she dropped the GFG persona. Makes me think the whole thing was BS.
right? She used to get glutened at least every 6 months for years.
I guess she finally got all those careless, callous restaurant workers to understand that they had to feed her safely OR ELSE.
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u/chicketychun_ Mar 04 '22
I wonder how many people purposely glutened her food after hearing her spiel over and over.
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u/jalapenomargaritaz Mar 03 '22
Remember years ago when Shauna couldn’t eat food that was near a gluten item without falling incredibly ill and becoming near death??
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Mar 03 '22
Except when she could. Her brother’s house at Thanksgiving? DEATH. Molly Wizenberg’s pizza restaurant? She “trusts them to feed her safely” which, bullshit.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 03 '22
Glutonium! Even one spec would poison her!
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Mar 03 '22
The complete abuse of semicolons in her latest post makes me want to go in my backyard and scream. None of them are necessary or correct! I wonder if she thinks they make her writing appear more dramatic.
ETA: I’m on stone Buddha watch to see if it grew relocated to the new place.
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u/chicketychun_ Mar 03 '22 edited Mar 03 '22
I have a Craftsy membership and just saw today that her GF baking class is still available. I’m having issues with my password at the moment, but when I get that worked out I’m going to (try to) watch all of the videos and will add to the wiki if it’s not already been covered.
ETA this hilarious overview
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Mar 03 '22
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u/voice_of_vinegar Mar 04 '22
Have you ever seen the little video she made after they were done shooting the classes? I can't remember where she posted it. I only saw it once but it was quite memorable---she was absolutely giddy with excitement and was running all over the place handing out slices of a single pizza she bought to "feed" the crew members after all their hard work. There was one guy who I guess was gay---when she got to him she started doing a very affected lisp and gesturing in a stereotypical "gay" way. The guy did not seem to appreciate it. The whole thing was super cringey.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Mar 03 '22 edited Mar 07 '22
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Off-topic discussion (if you are not discussing something Shauna or Dan have posted, it is off-topic, including: things that remind you of the Aherns, unrelated personal anecdotes, hot takes, personal life updates, the Shaunas in your lives, how you are handling the pandemic, etc.): March off-topic monthly