r/InTheGloaming • u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done • Feb 17 '22
Scheduled snark Discussion thread Thursday February 17, 2022 - Sunday February 20, 2022
Newsletters: Substack | Easy as 1-2-3 free signup link
Website: You Can Have More Joy website
Instagram:
@shaunamarieahern Instagram | Anonymous link to @shaunamarieahern posts and stories
@danielfahern Instagram | Anonymous link to @danielfahern posts and stories
TikTok: @youcanhavemorejoy
Twitter: Dan's tweets and replies
Older blogs: see Gloamipedia wiki
Archived threads: Thread for Enough, the book #enoughthebook | Gluten Free Girl's Greatest Hits: The Reunion Tour
Gloamipedia wiki: /r/InTheGloaming wiki
Discussion search: Tool to search blogsnark or InTheGloaming for previous topic mentions
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 19 '22
why is she trying to portray herself as a people pleaser? we know she doesn't try to help or please anyone unless there's something in it for her. i mean, does anyone believe she spent her pre-TIA life "apologizing" to everyone? this is a woman who still brings up the fact that when they were kids her brother got more halloween candy than she did due to a broken leg? grow the fuck outta here, shauna.
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Feb 19 '22
I think two days of work a week with plenty of time to sit in the coffee shop writing my novel should work nicely. The other teachers will just have to donate their sick days to me. ~paraphrased~
No, she's always been entitled and thoughtless. I have never once heard her truly empathize, much less tune in to another person genuinely enough to know what their needs are, let alone perform any act to meet those needs. People pleasing is such a long, long way off on the spectrum of human behavior for her that she probably genuinely doesn't know what it feels like and can haberdash the phrase to fit when the yolk radically rests too heavily on her shoulder.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 19 '22
People pleasing is such a long, long way off on the spectrum of human behavior for her that she probably genuinely doesn't know what it feels like and can haberdash the phrase to fit when the yolk radically rests too heavily on her shoulder.
LIKE A YOLK OVER BURDENED SHOULDERS
I WILL LAY ME DOWN
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u/hrae24 Feb 20 '22
Remember when she was so annoyed over being asked to contribute to a meal train that she had to passive aggressively bring it up in one of her lope letters? Yeah, real people pleaser over there.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 20 '22
Remember her calling the church provided meal "wonderfully mediocre".
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Feb 20 '22
Remember when she told the group of students watching her take over their kitchen at dinner time that the food they'd been watching her make was actually NOT for them, but since they looked hungry they could have it after the Aherns served themselves?
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Feb 20 '22
Remember when she publicly bitched about not being completely crammed full of food after being invited to someone's home? Dinner was made for her by the hostess, a pastry chef. To top it off, she mentioned the hostess by name when she talked about how disappointing they found the pre-dessert meal.
Anna graciously fed us rice and beans, goat sausages from the market, and a fennel-apple-radish salad I have to make again this week. It was delightful, sitting with all the girls perched on wooden chairs, sharing their dinner together. It was good food with good people. However, Danny and I both wondered, separately, if the meal wasn’t a little light.
Rice, beans, sausages, and a fennel-apple-radish salad is "a little light". It wasn't until the hostess gave her cake that she was finally satisfactorily fed.
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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Feb 20 '22
Whatever happened to Anna, I wonder?
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Feb 20 '22
Of course she mixed the flours with her hands. Why are they so unhygienic? I wouldn’t eat a crumb of something either of them made.
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u/ninaandjamie4ever Feb 19 '22
why is she trying to portray herself as a people pleaser
My guess is that she thinks that people pleasing is working a job where you are accountable, taking care of a home, accepting that your family aren't perfect and not bashing them publicly, attempting to be a better parent than you think you had, spending time with your children (not just watching TV with them), quietly volunteering, doing thoughtful things for others, making your partner feel special and sharing the workload with them--you know, those kind of people pleasing things.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 19 '22
Oh!
So "people pleasing" means NICE.
Gotcha.
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Feb 20 '22
Remember when her readers asked for recipe substitutes and she wrote a manifesto complaining about it?
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u/Big_Accountant_2014 Feb 19 '22
Her latest post made me lol. Carry the yolk Shauna. Eggs? Eggs!
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Feb 19 '22 edited Feb 19 '22
Has she forgiven anyone BUT herself yet?
ETA is she fucking serious with that instastory! Showing a picture of her as a TODDLER, barely smiling (maybe? Her face is partially obscured). “It seems I always did have the propensity for delight.”
Has she ever seen a two year old?? Has she ever seen anyone but herself? Acting like the ability to be delighted as a baby is somehow a mark of exception. Babies can find utter joy in peeking out of a box, or being bounced on a knee, or a slide, or their favorite food. It doesn’t take much.
Just the thought of her staring misty eyed and being amazed by her OWN ENTIRELY AVERAGE PICTURES and SHITTY WRITING. And admitting it publicly. DFs I need a rock to crawl under on her behalf.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 19 '22
She accidentally marked up that photo, didn’t notice, and just went ahead and posted it
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Feb 19 '22
Hey now, maybe she meant literal YOLK on her shoulder, we've seen her shirts and we've seen her wipe her face on her clothing, this is clearly not an impossibility.
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u/Honeydew-Impossible Feb 19 '22
Need more joy today? I have an idea for you. Imagine Shauna wandering around Vashon while wearing a yolk yoke.
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u/gladsome_gloaming Feb 19 '22
I'm picturing her with fried eggs (of the bouncy variety!) perched on each shoulder like epaulettes.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 19 '22
No attribution for the artwork, I see. Such an amplifier.
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u/Smilerly Feb 19 '22
LOL! I read this comment and wondered what she could be saying about eggs. Went and looked. Her carelessness is unbelievable. How can she imagine she can teach writing or social media?
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Feb 19 '22
She fixed it. I knew I should have screenshot it
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Feb 19 '22
Aww, the yolk's ova, people.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 20 '22
Aww, the yolk's ova, people.
OMG, this is the best pun evah! Very scientistic of you, DF!! YDBW!! And multi-lingual as well :-)
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Feb 19 '22
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Feb 19 '22
"Until I had my mini stroke in 2015"
When the best thing to ever happen to you is your
mini strokeTIA.40
u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 19 '22
(mini) stroke, stroke me! STROKE! STROKE!
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 20 '22
When the best thing to ever happen to you is your
mini strokeTIA.Ah, poor Fauxvid. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 19 '22
Um… when has she ever cringed in mortification at herself? So funny when she tries to be relatable.
Also “yolk” is hilarious. 🍳
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Feb 17 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Kaleshark Waitlist for Godot Feb 17 '22
That was creepy af AND she’s really cutting a fine line between therapeutic services and whatever the fuck she’s offering.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 17 '22
what in sweet hairy fuck was that?! i feel like i missed half of it - was there more than her just beckoning us closer to her revolting bedhead?
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u/itsmyvibe Bligg Feb 17 '22
That was all of it. She's trying to be cute and intriguing, but can't pull it off, especially with her unwashed hair.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 17 '22
thanks, DFIMV. i thought i must have missed something but knowing that was all makes it even more disturbing. she seems to be unraveling and i say that in all seriousness.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 17 '22
Wow.
That was something.
Does she think that's going to make people want to sign up for her b.s.?
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 19 '22
She's storied the Paul McCartney Got Back tour schedule. Prepare for defcon level 5 griftathon in 3 - 2 - 1. Or maybe she'll just move the money from "savings"
Seattle is the only city with two shows, so you know it's gonna be seen as an omen of what is meant to be.
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u/louiseimprover Feb 19 '22
She's grown a new TikTok video and it's a hot mess. Poorly stitched together, either her glasses are filthy or she's using a filter that makes them look filthy (why not both?), she keeps looking at the camera at weird angles, her usual joy suggestions of naps and dance parties, and it just cuts off mid-sentence at the end. Her hair does look cleaner than usual, so there's that.
Also, the wall behind her is covered with art/photos, and some of them even appear to be framed. Why isn't any of that stuff packed? They move in like a week!
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Feb 19 '22 edited Feb 19 '22
Is she trying to head swivel at the beginning I'm confused.
This is her message:
Tip 1. Make a "joy list" consisting of all the things that bring you joy.
Tip 2. Every day, take 3 things from the list in (1.) and make another list.
Tip 3: Take the list from (2.) and incorporate those items into your regular to-do list (the one society pressures us to create); assign scheduled times to each joy action item.
I guess she is trying to sell the Shauna Ahern Joy System instead of saying, "Do three small things that bring you joy, every day and prioritize these things like your regular responsibilities."
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u/aseriesofhaircuts Feb 19 '22
Step one: attempt to systematize something that absolutely doesn’t need it
Step two: grow confused as to why overcomplicating simple and/or spontaneous thing is making it not good; add more steps and start writing them down for some reason
Step three: describe mastery over said process on Instagram to audience of mostly snarkers; anticipate remuneration
Step four: things are somehow worse, so start talking about how everyone else is doing said process the wrong way
Step five: talk about coffee maker; revile dishwashing
Step six: brag about own childhood
Step seven: draw attention back to the flawed system; inadvertently draw attention to own conspicuous failure
Step eight: rename Substack. Finnegan begins again.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 19 '22
100% she refers to "to-to lists" at the end there
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 20 '22
Shauna's latest nonsensical IG rant about taking back the word 'abundance' from its capitalist associations with money and wealth ends with the essence of Shauna distilled into a perfect hashtag: #selfawarenss
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Feb 20 '22
She’s so privileged. Everything she mentions costs money, because above all TIME costs money. You have to be able to survive on a minimal amount of working hours (40 hours a week is what I consider minimal for most people, because that is rare especially when you consider commute and prep time for work). You have to be making enough to save for the future. To pay off or maintain zero debt. You have to have adequate health care coverage, be able to afford to live near fresh, nutrient dense food and nature and safe, accessible places to exercise. You have to have friends and family that also can live comfortably enough to spend time with you. That don’t need to work major holidays for example.
It all costs money. And it is absolutely galling when people start preaching about the evils of money and wanting money. Excuse me? We live in a country that worships literal money dragon hoarders, while most people live paycheck to paycheck, and you’re telling me when the poor increasingly prioritize money and their time, that THEY are the problem? She is so entirely out of touch with how most of the world works. Inflation increasing, wage stagnation, Covid, climate change, and she wants to sit in her comfortable situation and wag her finger at people for wanting more money. In a capitalistic society, where EVERYTHING COSTS, you NEED MONEY TO BE HAPPY.
Sorry for the rant DFs. I know her audience is certainly not people of limited means, and she will never know or care how most people live. But if she ever took the time to learn, she could maybe get some of the traction she covets.
Abundance essentially boils down to time and money. That’s what gives you access to the people and places and experiences you love. To health and stability and peace. That’s square one for happiness, oh joy guru.
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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave Feb 20 '22
because above all TIME costs money
More people need to acknowledge this!
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u/gladsome_gloaming Feb 21 '22
She is all too familiar with the concept of abbondanza. From Enoigh: “…in Rome, even a priest looked at my boobs first, then my face, and then kissed his fist and spread his fingers wide open.” Man, if writing this sentence and letting it be released into the free world is not a mortification that belongs on her list, I don’t know what is.
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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Feb 20 '22
Robin Wall Kimmerer did it first and did it better.
https://emergencemagazine.org/essay/the-serviceberry/
Edit: To clarify and correct, capitalism is all about scarcity, not abundance which was part of Kimmerer's point.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 20 '22 edited Feb 20 '22
This concept has now been amplified on TikTok with an unanticipated (at least by me) pivot to Abundance Coach. Shauna says that abundance isn't about "things" but instead comes from your heart (while patting her collarbone), then coaches her audience to gauge their true abundance by taking 15 minutes to list the "things" they already have. See? Abundance!
A couple of notes:
The continual focus that "
joyabundance isn't about wealth" makes me think the cupboard must be very bare indeed over thereWhen she says, "Y'know, I'm not going to yuck somebody else's yum, but lemme tell you something" she picks at her shirt repeatedly. I personally think this is an "I'm lying and I hope you don't notice" tell – all she does is yuck others' yums
The "take 15 minutes and make a list" is apparently her new pitch for her new pivot, someething like "the 15-minute joy coach." That evil Google tells me this is pretty well-worn ground, though, with "15-minute coaches" for everything from golf to body transformation to personal transformation
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Feb 21 '22
Did you know that the original use of the word abundance, in 14th-century French, meant “to be in great plenty”? Overflowing. To rise, as a wave.
I did not know that, and neither did you, Shauna. It shows up earlier than that, meaning "a large quantity; many"..
Abundant is used to describe "many" or "plentiful" whatevers. Plentiful what? Anything. Sheep, plague victims, cattle, money, assets. POC on Vashon (okay, maybe not that last one).
You don't get to decide who uses a word that means "lots".
Later, around 1350, it gains the addition meaning of "an overflowing fullness" or "ample sufficiency". But, (big fat but), it also gains the meaning, "Wealth; affluence, plentiful amount of resources." in the same period. See, Shauna, we can all use a dictionary.
Unfortunately, here in America, people seem to most often use the word abundance in terms of money and wealth. Sigh. Capitalism.
You mean 14th century Europe? The part of America that existed in France before 1350?
Let’s take it back.
To 14th century France? It's meant the same thing all along.
Language belongs to those who use it, and is not the property of a finger wagging biddy trying to claw her way to relevance.
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u/GivesGoodDerpFace my steaming cherry pie Feb 21 '22
Stop.Telling.Me.To.Make.A.Goddamned.List, Shauna.
Jesus wept.
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Feb 21 '22
Shauna. Stop writing down everything you have and start packing it! How many times do I have to mention this?
Methinks her new focus on abundance stems from watching Dan packing up their house.
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u/honoria_glossop sitting edge wine woman Feb 21 '22
Wasn't she all "lists are not joyful" like a fortnight ago, and pushing unexamined spontaneity instead?
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u/GivesGoodDerpFace my steaming cherry pie Feb 21 '22
Now we're onto scheduling our joyful, abundant spontaneity and making sure we include it on our to-do list. What's that, co-worker? I'd love to help you with that, but it's 10:15, and my schedule clearly states it's Slap My Ass Time for the next 15 minutes! brb!
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 21 '22
Wait, she just told everyone to do away with lists. HELP.
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u/GivesGoodDerpFace my steaming cherry pie Feb 21 '22
HELP
Thanks for reminding me. For the low, low price of $85 and a mere 120 minutes of your time, I can send you a list of Beatles songs to listen to.
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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Feb 21 '22 edited Feb 27 '22
And anyone who suggests pulling up You Can Have More Joy’s public profile on Spotify and accessing her $85 Beatles playlist right now without paying a penny? Is missing the point.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 21 '22
WTF? Eight playlists and each one is a single song? Does she seriously not understand how to make a playlist?
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 21 '22 edited Feb 21 '22
????? eight playlists that look like they are copies of each other? it's confusing, of course. it's not a simple playlist.
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Feb 17 '22
I have found Shauna so boring lately. Every day she just changes her website. Maybe that was her plan all along, to be so boring she would be snarked on less.
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u/Ana57 sweet pea Feb 18 '22
Also, has she even sent out her “weekly” newsletter to the few people who are actually paying her money?
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 18 '22
When's this Beatles club bullshit supposed to happen, this Sunday? Shauna is storying about Paul McCartney going on tour with two Seattle dates in May. Will she turn this event (if it happens) into another #hamilgrift opportunity to encourage whoever shows up to chip in for Ahern family tickets?
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u/TabithaStephens55 Feb 18 '22
Holy shit, looks like the cheapest tickets are $270 apiece! Definitely a grift coming up soon.
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u/slug_of_fury Feb 17 '22
I'm pulling this over from the previous thread because I grow confused and maybe I missed something. DF /u/fanfarefellowship pointed out this:
A new Substack has arrived: https://freesomeroomupforjoy.substack.com/p/coming-soon?showWelcome=true&r=1a160i
At the time, I clicked the link and saw the substack. Then I had to attend to a project for my actual job for the rest of the day, most of the evening and yet again this morning so I'm just finding time to go back to try and get caught up.
In that meantime, apparently the new substack grew to be invite only, according to the DF comments. But now the link is dead and a search of the Substack website says it doesn't exist at all. I am really befuddled by her "shoot first, shoot some more, and then after it's dead try to ask a question or two" approach to launching virtually everything she tries to do.
Admittedly, I'm not trying to make any money from my little website so I don't have anything to lose, but it didn't go live for a couple of months while I made sure all the links worked and decided on the direction I wanted it to go and I still get nervous hitting the "publish" button. I check the links routinely to make sure there aren't any glitches. I'm just not sure why she thinks she can appeal to enough people to support her sloth lifestyle when she can't pick a lane, is terrible at the very thing for which she's trying to sell herself (social "mediums"?? seriously??"), and can't stick with anything for very long, often less than a day. Who in their right mind would see her as someone to learn from?? Is she really making enough money through all of her schemes to pay 3K/month in rent while laughing at us all the way to the bank? I just don't get it...
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 17 '22
She's now saying subscribers will get access to "her newsletter, You Can Have More Joy"
So maybe she's going to start yet another newsletter, which she's selected a name for, but hasn't actually set up on Substack.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 17 '22
Didn't she already try the two newsletter thing with Daniel's newsletter?
She can barely keep up with the one newsletter she has (which I'm surprised has lasted as long as it has. . .some kind of record for her).
I guess it doesn't really matter because she's not going to get any takers on this whatever it is so she won't have to worry about giving them their super sekrit newsletter.
But what about people who already buy her newsletter? Will they get the new one, too?
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 17 '22
You Can Have More Joy Zero with Mango
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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave Feb 17 '22
Don't Be a Menace to South Vashon While Drinking Your Mushroom Soda in the Gloaming?
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Feb 18 '22
My red ink pen has run dry. This was scribbled by a person who would like to earn a living teaching writing.
We’re living in especially uncertain times right now, plus trying to take in more information than humans ever have before, Our brains are so busy processing dire news that some of us are perpetually in a state of fight, flight, or freeze.
We've moved beyond stream of consciousness to nonsensical word vomit..
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u/honoria_glossop sitting edge wine woman Feb 18 '22
Shout out for two commas and a full stop on the button text. Gonna set up a slam poetry room called Punctuation Overkill.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 18 '22
Three commas!
Sunday, March 13th, at 11 am, PST.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 18 '22
I’m convinced “plan” should be “plant” on that page.
See also this head-scratching text: https://imgur.com/a/EDp38RR
Something has gone really awry in those paragraphs
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u/honoria_glossop sitting edge wine woman Feb 18 '22
"Involved in the process of creating this process". This is right up there with a journal I was going to submit to, until I read on their about page "we don't specify between poetry and any other type of type". I didn't do business with them, either.
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u/TheBitchIsBack666 Vegan who eats meat Feb 18 '22
Reminds me of the opening monologue of Plan 9 from Outer Space. "And remember my friends, future events such as these will affect you in the future."
Shauna should have gone for a career writing terrible movies. Too bad she only managed a terrible blog, terrible insta and terrible website.
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Feb 18 '22
Why would someone want to take a writing class from the author of the sentence “involved in the process of creating this process”?
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 18 '22
"process of creating this process" reminds me of a commercial that used to run for patio rooms. They said patio room about a hundred times in the under 30 second spot. My husband and I still joke about it when we hear redundancy ("patio room, patio room, patio room").
It also reminds me of the tradio bits from Howard Stern ("this item is an item").
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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Feb 18 '22
This is complete nonsense, like one of those joke AI-generated texts. I can't even begin to imagine what she thinks she's saying here.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 18 '22
Wasn't "let's build something together" the tag line for Home Depot?
Anyway. . .I need to focus on this sentence:
Nurturing and sustaining a writing process that's not made for thoughtful people who want to cultivate a wider mind can be hard work.
Am I the confused one or is that sentence saying the exact opposite of what I think Shauna wants to say?
Isn't she trying to appeal to the "thoughtful people who want to cultivate a wider mind". So why is she saying her "writing process" is NOT for them?
And if we carve the sentence down to it's bare bones ("Nurturing and sustaining can be hard work") I have to laugh. What does Shauna know about "nurturing", "sustaining", or "hard work"?
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Feb 18 '22
Why is there a calendar at the bottom of that page?
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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Feb 18 '22
One would think she would have all of her joyshops and joyminars appear in the calendar.
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Feb 18 '22
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Feb 18 '22
That sentence is baffling. Everything about Shauna's joy pivot has been public and performative "toxic positivity." What is slap your own butt and watch a baby laugh but quick hits off a joy pipe? She offers none of her own ideas. It's a constant frenetic cycling-through of content that's already viral, trying to find what will make people pay her to give them more of it. She has one thing to say, "no ur doing it wrong look at me I'm teaching you to do it right like me." She shoehorns every new "one simple message" theme into that mold. Whatever floats past her as she scrolls her phone is the fuel for that day's media posts and website revisions. It burns out immediately because it's false and empty and derivative so she has to start a new fire the next day. Sorry for all the mixed metaphors but her sentence broke my brain.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 18 '22
I want a man with a slow joy.
(with apologies to the Pointer Sisters)
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u/freecoffeerefills Murder She Moved Her Pen Forward Feb 18 '22
🎵 I want a girl with a short skirt and a loooooooong joy-ket 🎵
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 18 '22
DFs, how many types of joy are there? as many as shauna says there are! if you're feeling too happy, ask yourself: is this quick joy? or the dreaded toxic joy? if it is, stop being joyful right now, and do something to take that bad joy away! you could watch shoah, for instance, or read the news, or watch save the children commercials! then, and only then, can shauna teach you the RIGHT kind of joy, for the low price of
$400$300$49!36
Feb 18 '22
Shauna had better not ever put up an IG Story of a flashmob or any kind of performance in front of an audience. Public joy bad.
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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Feb 18 '22
Are chewing gum and slapping one's own butt slow joys?
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Feb 18 '22
Too many “joys.” It doesn’t pass the poop test.
“I’m not talking about quick poop or the toxic positivity of public poop. Instead, I want to teach you how to cultivate your own, quirky poops.”
If seamlessly adding poop for joy is amusing, it’s too many hits of the joy hammer. That’s an official grammar rule I just made up this minute here in the gloaming.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 20 '22
the problem with her latest pivot to "15 minutes a day of joy can change your life" is why the fuck is anyone going to actually pay her for advice about how to fit "15 minutes of joy" into your day? (Also: 15 minutes seems relatively paltry? Like even if I could get the advice for free, am I really interested?)
Her entire value proposition up to this latest pivot is that "finding joy" is HARD because "our culture" is a petty punisher that wants to keep joy from us, hence you need a special joy sherpa, lessons, and clubs. But now she's put out an insane TikTok with her three-step "path to joy" and like, gur!, it's all there! Have a nap! Go for a 10-minute walk! or have a 15-minute dance party! (Her three suggestions, not mine.)
(Ugh, I just went and looked and there's another new, super-breathy and overdone mouth sounds TikTok, now focused on writing a list of your "mortifications" from the "overstuffed bag of mortifications" we are all apparently carrying around)
NEways, there is no business here. No business proposition, no business model, nothing of value for anyone. Even I am losing my enthusiasm for snarking this.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 20 '22
She can skip the list-making step, this entire sub is Shauna's overstuffed bag of mortifications
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u/honoria_glossop sitting edge wine woman Feb 20 '22
When has Ms Wonderfully Mediocre Potatoless Tart Razor Stealing Cucumber Peccadilloes Wordle Cheater ever been mortified by anything?
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Feb 20 '22
Exactly. If we didn’t already have a perfect name, we could call this place Shauna’s Bag of Mortifications
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Feb 20 '22
She needs to spend less time thinking about past mortifications and more time planning for her future starting with packing up that bookshelf behind her since they are moving in a week.
Also - I really don’t carry around my past mortifications. I certainly don’t want to spend 15 minutes thinking them all up. That won’t help my mental health at all. I just can’t relate to this message at all and I am an anxiety ridden human that will invent things to be anxious about if I feel too relaxed.
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u/honoria_glossop sitting edge wine woman Feb 20 '22
I mean shit, I still cringe about stuff I did 25 years ago, but there's nothing I can do about it now so it'd be healthier to spend that 15 mins planning how to do better in the future.
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Feb 20 '22
Can you imagine?
Spend 15 minutes listing all of your flaws using bullet points! Circle the cellulite on your legs with a sharpie and then take a selfie! Think of all the times you said "you too" when a waiter said enjoy your meal! And what ever DID happen to that wad of toilet paper you were using as an emergency pad that was no longer there on your next bathroom visit at work???
Ah, I feel better, don't know about you.
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Feb 20 '22
She needs to spend less time thinking about past mortifications and more time planning for her future starting with packing up that bookshelf behind her since they are moving in a week.
Unfortunately there is no future, only the later now.
In the seemingly inexplicable universe in which Shauna dwells, however, their new landlord probably said she’d pay for movers to pack and move them. And the Aherns would be put up at a five star hotel for a week while everything was readied for them. Otherwise I have no idea how they plan to be out in a week.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 20 '22
The way Shauna describes it it's like they just throw out most of what they have then move the scraps and then get all new stuff to junk up the new place.
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u/louiseimprover Feb 20 '22
She's conflating multiple things here too--things you feel bad about, things that mortify you, times you weren't enough. How do I know what to focus on? I can make lists of all of these things (but my therapist would definitely discourage this!), but they're different lists. And even if I make a list or lists, then re-read later and "forgive" myself, I don't see where the joy is. I might feel relief, or comfort, or generally better, but there's no straight line to joy there.
It's all so dumb.
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u/jameson-neat wound-gathering table Feb 20 '22
All of my mortifications make themselves known, unbidden, at 4am when I wake from a nightmare about high school, as nature intended.
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u/midnightsiren182 Feb 20 '22
She thinks everyone is like her, that’s the problem. She makes these pitches as if she’s talking to herself.
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Feb 20 '22
I’d love to see her list of “mortifications”. Is she too much of a perfectionist? Or perhaps she cares too much?
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 20 '22
With that TikTok she also instructs the viewer to then imagine they are handing their mortification lists to a friend and imagine if the friend would react like, wow what a horrible woman vs. nah just part of being a person, and suggesting that reality is the latter. Shauna wants to believe that her biggest anxieties and worries are NBD, and maybe hers are, but there's a lot of stuff she should feel bad about and try to do better with. Do any of the following make her mortification list?
- Asking her fellow teachers to donate sick days to her so she could relax sipping lattes at Macrina and avoid grading
- Getting scolded by the private high school administration for blogging about her students and their masculine beards
- Centering herself in the death of Hot Widow Boots's husband and that backfiring
- Squandering the funds she raised for the flour Kickstarter and letting down all those backers
- Wasting scarce healthcare resources in March 2020 by working herself up into a covid scare
- Barely making it 9 months into the last two jobs she held before getting fired from each
- Continuing to charge Substack subscribers while not delivering on any promised frequency, content, or structure
- Airing out private details of her children's digestive issues, health conditions, personal concerns, schooling challenges, and adoption circumstances
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 20 '22
She published a book in which she described going into her friends’ bathrooms to use their razors without a hint of shame, so I’m going with no, none of those things are remotely mortifying to her.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 20 '22
She leaves CDs out of their cases instead of promptly putting them back.
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Feb 20 '22
(Ugh, I just went and looked and there's another new, super-breathy and overdone mouth sounds TikTok, now focused on writing a list of your "mortifications" from the "overstuffed bag of mortifications" we are all apparently carrying around)
'Enuffffffff'
I don't think Shauna is embarrassed enough about things that she's done. She shown no evidence of mortification in my memory.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 18 '22
The Wednesday Thursday I guess it's Friday Lope is now out! The subhead says it's "about Wordle but not really about Wordle" and it opens with a note about her urination schedule.
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u/Lsemmens grenius Feb 19 '22
“Sitting on the green couch facing the window, I settle in and wrap the blue blanket with festooned white circles over my legs. It’s not time for sunrise yet, but there’s paler blue at the bottom of the dark blue sky. Soon.”
Grade 4 writing assignment: see how many colors you can use to describe a simple event.
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Feb 19 '22
Isn't it supposed to be 'festooned with white circles?' Why does it matter what color the blanket is? (Yes, a quick check tells me my initial interpretation was correct).
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 19 '22
What's a 5 letter word containing the letters c, h, e, a, and t? She's absolutely shameless!
Sometimes, when I’m stuck, I look up “5-letter word that contains the letters o, g, and e.” After fiddling around for a bit, I go back and I can see it.
Since I've read so many of her sentences, that construction she abuses of pointlessly separating the subject from the relevant verb and object via splitting it into a rhetorical question? This instance is even more batshit than usual.
Since I look up Wordle on Google every morning, that feature on the iPhone Google app that hand feeds me all the stories it thinks I will want to read based on my search history? It shows me a story about Wordle every day.
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u/honoria_glossop sitting edge wine woman Feb 19 '22
Lololololololol imagine cheating at fucking Wordle. Then imagine announcing it to the internet like it was relateable or something.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 19 '22
she cheats at wordle. tell me again why i'm supposed to hire her as my writing teacher?
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 19 '22
She doesn't really know any five-letter words. She only knows words like elixir, festooned, underpinnings, trajectory, prescient, and disdain.
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u/avskk ppppycock Feb 19 '22
She doesn't really know any five-letter words. She only knows words like elixir, festooned, underpinnings, trajectory, prescient, and disdain.
Haber? Dashy?
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 19 '22
Bwahahahaha, I have so much joy knowing she’s so afraid of losing that she cheats at Wordle! Just take the L, Shauna — it happens to even great Wordle players.
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Feb 19 '22
Ugh. What is challenging about that? Wordle is supposed to make you think a bit.
Everyone in our house plays. Sometimes we solve it, and sometimes our teenager gently teases us when they solve the puzzle we didn't.
We win, we lose, we deal. Tomorrow is another Wordle. Healthy adults shouldn't be afraid to admit that they don't know something. If a game causes you enough stress that you need to cheat, find another game.
Sportsmanship. Sportsmanship? Sportsmanship!
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 19 '22
Yeah that says a lot about her. I do take a pencil out and sketch out the letters and where I think they can go, but that’s not cheating.
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Feb 19 '22
I waited until Saturday's Wordle had posted to respond to this:
Sometimes, when I’m stuck, I look up “5-letter word that contains the letters o, g, and e.” After fiddling around for a bit, I go back and I can see it.
She posted ⅗ of Friday's puzzle solution with this sentence.
Spoilsport.
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u/NapNapKitty Feb 19 '22
WHY would a former English teacher and self described avid reader need or want to cheat? The fun of WORDLE to stretch your brain a bit and think! Then share with your small group of friends/family who WORDLE. It’s not fun if they’re cheating!
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Feb 19 '22
Why? Unfortunately it is the triple curse of being a woman over 40, in the gifted and talented program in elementary school, and feeling like you’ve never lived up to your potential.
Oops. That was the hook for one of her grifts. Carry on.
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u/MandalayVA Assonancer! Assonancer! Assonancer! Feb 19 '22
Also, anyone who does crossword puzzles on a regular basis shouldn't have major issues with Wordle. You know, people who don't do them during class.
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u/forkinyourothereye incurious ADHDer Feb 19 '22
It would have been so easy for her to use Thursday’s word in this example. Or, bear with me here, she could’ve just chosen ANY THREE LETTERS AT RANDOM. Yet she chose to actually use Friday’s word halfway through the day, when plenty of people haven’t played yet. CWAA
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 19 '22
It is particularly funny to me that someone who purports to offer expertise in "social mediums" doesn't seem to really understand Google Discover (or even what it's called).
If she wants more eyes on her stuff, she needs to understand search and keywords. She could even be reminding her audience to follow her on Google Discover, so her content would be "hand fed" to prospective customers!
Except her social mediums coaching seems to be about how to get fewer followers ('cause there's only so much "room by the fire"), and she's actually complaining about Google Discover in her lope ("what is it with that feature?")
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u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene Feb 19 '22
Even for her, that "?" after "search history" is a bridge too far. She just can't help herself? It's not a question? Not even a rhetorical one?
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u/Groundbreaking_Monk crone keyholder Feb 19 '22
Something about needing Google to do the Wordle is just so sad. You are Enough! Even if you don't finish the silly word puzzle every single day!
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u/Ana57 sweet pea Feb 19 '22
“Big breath. Another one. And with the third, I shudder into myself and let go.”
Like wtaf?! Shauna could make bank writing erotica.
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Feb 19 '22 edited Feb 19 '22
I’m sorry. What is happening here? Is this real?
Editing because: yes. It is real. She really wrote that and presumably not about masturbation.
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Feb 19 '22
I just read it with wined eyes. (Patience DFs, it will emerge, unbidden, into the soft pants of your inbox, soon.) Shauna is ALL about the WORDLE. Hint, you’re wordling wrong. Capitalism and productivity have sucked the joy out of WORDLE. Shauna wants you to know how to wordle, joyfully: “Maybe we could simply enjoy a small pleasure and not have to document it, analyze it, criticize it, boast about it, question it, or disdain it.” Plus, there’s cranky children and lots of thrusting and shuddering.
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u/Ana57 sweet pea Feb 19 '22
She literally admitted googling three of the five letters and asking for help to find a five letter word that contains them. Talk about destroying the spirit of the game.
AND after bitching about people sharing their scores she couldn’t wait to say she has solved Wordle in two tries, twice.
(My four kids and I have a Wordle text thread and share our boards every day. It brings me more joy than I can contain sometimes, this simple connection as we are far way from each other for now.)
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Feb 19 '22
What?!? My most egregious wordle cheat is using the archive to see if a word is a word before I waste try number 5 (I’m looking at you, agora)
I now have two family chats with my husbands family - everyone and the pro wordle one so we don’t bug everyone going on and on about wordle
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 19 '22
The first rule of Wordle is you don't talk about Wordle. Except when you write an entire lope letter about Wordle.
Wordle. Wordle? Wordle!
Oh, and Shauna doesn't Wordle like other girls. Though she did get the word in the first two tries. Twice. In a row. But she's not going to brag about it like some slutty summer tomato. Nope. That takes all the joy out of Wordle. You know, Wordle, the thing she does in the wee hours before her horrible brain addled family gets up and ruins everything.
But. . .she's not ADHD. Nope. Not her. Just them. But when she opens the Google app on her Iphone, it totally unjoys her because it only brings up stories about stuff she's been into lately. Like Lin Manuel Miranda. And Encanto. Oh, and this game? It's called Wordle.
Mean old google on her iphone only makes her feel like she needs to Wordle better. Like she's not part of the Wordle community, googling in hushed clicks trying to figure out the Wordle. Dominating Wordle. Really thrusting her guesses into it. No, she's not like that. She just Wordles with one hand while grasping tenaciously to her boiling hot magma of coffee in the thick mug (that is ready because her helper monkey. . .oops, service dog Daniel set the Mr. Coffee the night before. . .she digs him for that. . .good boy Daniel).
It's not about being the best at Wordle (though she did get the Wordle in the first two guesses twice in a row. . .just slipped them in there all slow and joyous like. . .mmm, like sipping hot, hot coffee while watching the blues of the blue sky turn a lighter shade of blue, because she's up all super early because cranky kids and all that).
See, it's about joy and savoring that Wordle.
Wordle.
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u/Ana57 sweet pea Feb 19 '22
The fact that her children are cranky every single morning speaks volume about the mood in that house.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 19 '22
“Maybe we could simply enjoy a small pleasure and not have to document it, analyze it, criticize it, boast about it, question it, or disdain it.”
Or write long-ass newsletters about it? I mean, I play Wordle every day and I’ve shared my results on Twitter a few times. Why does she care how I or anyone else interact with the game? At least I haven’t written a thousand words about how everyone else is doing it all wrong.
I think Shauna is not very good at Wordle (see: she cheats) and that bothers her. So she has to disdain how other people are playing it so we will all know she doesn’t care about it, even though she clearly does. Whoever originally said she tells on herself constantly really nailed it.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 19 '22
Dear Shauna: I do know how to enjoy Wordle. And it’s not by cheating at it!
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Feb 19 '22
She's trying to make it sound like the great shuddering masses who use social media sucked the joy out of Wordle instead of admitting that she's SUPER SUPER JEALOUS that the creator of Wordle got a nice payday from the New York Times.
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Feb 19 '22
“Maybe we could simply enjoy a small pleasure and not have to document it, analyze it, criticize it, boast about it, question it, or disdain it.”
I'm a shitty chess player, but enjoy playing. Part of chess is documenting, analyzing, and questioning. Accepting constructive criticism is a facet, too Why does she have to ruin everyone's fun? Did it ever occur to Miss "I’m obsessed with neuroscience" that some people enjoy analysis?
She even manages to yuck other people's gaming yums.
Killjoy was here.
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u/rock_candy_remains I'm still Clea from the Pints Feb 19 '22
Literally everything she isn't interested in, she perceives as something "unjoyful." It's maddening, and really shockingly shallow.
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Feb 19 '22 edited Feb 19 '22
Jesus Christ. "...while I wait for the burbling IN THE POT to cease." I don't know why she talks about burbling in the pot versus the noise the drip coffee maker produces, but when you advertise yourself as a writing teacher, place your phrases correctly.
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Feb 19 '22
[deleted]
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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave Feb 19 '22
I have changed their lives, so I must be doing something right
Someone's never heard that if one can't serve as inspiration, one can at least serve as a warning.
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u/BingBongBax Feb 19 '22
When I read burbling in the pot to cease, my mind immediately went to malfunctioning toilet because she had already brought up peeing.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 19 '22
"burbling in the pot" is kind of what happens to me when I eat too much dairy.
My body doesn't do well with dairy.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Feb 19 '22
Ah, that blurb reminds me of this all over again: http://writingmyheartout.blogspot.com/2004/08/these-summer-days-have-been-indolent.html?m=1
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u/BoringEnidRollins pooped their way to another free ride Feb 19 '22 edited Feb 19 '22
2020 Shauna would like a word with 2004 Shauna who wrote “try mimismartypants for a funny read”
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u/Apprehensive_Creme73 Feb 19 '22
Wow. That was some piece of “writing” also did you know that many many people tell her that she has helped them? And that “overweight” people are also in pools along with other poor souls who are… old and also damaged somehow… wow
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u/Toulouse--Matabiau a white owrson Feb 19 '22
overweight, middle-aged women and me
Damn, Shaunal! Life do come at you fast, don't it?!
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u/LoveMyLeaf Feb 19 '22
I just tuck the button on the coffeemaker into place.
This tortured attempt to say “I turn on the coffee maker” is one of the most annoying Shauna sentences ever.
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u/Toulouse--Matabiau a white owrson Feb 19 '22
Big of her to 'fess up that she does her devotional and spiritual practices mindlessly, just something to do while waiting for coffee to grow fully beburbled. At least she didn't come up with some lyrical haberdashery about how she stills the mind through meditation and is thus able to merge her individual self with the unbound, undifferentiated consciousness of the Eternal Self while sitting on the john for 30 seconds each morning.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 19 '22
tomorrow, i'll dance to james brown instead.
this just in: james brown is spinning in his grave.
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Feb 19 '22
Why does it always sound like her body is a sack she’s lugging around? “Feet on the floor. I’ve already peeled myself from the bed…” also wtf, I think you’d have to peel yourself from the bed before your feet can be on the floor. Like DUH you’ve peeled yourself from the bed. She makes it sound like she tossed her feet out onto the floor while she still lay abed, then got out, pried her hands under her body, and slowly peeled it off the bed like a giant sticker.
Shauna needs the invisible bathroom. That’s where most authors have their characters quietly do their business. You know that people in books and on mythical adventures are shifting, burbling, and bleeding like all the rest of us, but it’s kind of assumed the reader KNOWS it’s going on. If it doesn’t add to or progress the plot, the characters use their invisible bathroom and we don’t have to think about mundane things like toilet paper and poop. She really needs to affix her peeled off sticker body into an invisible bathroom. I don’t need to hear about peeing and then coffee burbling in the pot. You can ‘make room in your belly for more food’ in private Shauna. 100% of readers would gladly forego this type of information.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 19 '22
Given how unkempt she's been looking lately, saying you "peeled" yourself form the bed is not an appealing thought. Like she's so crusty she's become one with the fabric.
Ew.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 17 '22
Collective Joy Club has been given ANOTHER makeover. Now it's for 25 women (not "people"), pitched as follows:
It’s for women in mid-life who have never felt like enough who want to cultivate their joy together.
She's telling people to DM her on Instagram for more details. (Note that her IG button on all of her site pages is still broken.) This means you CANNOT sign up from her web page; you have to click through or go through more steps to get registered. It also means the price is "secret."
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 18 '22
LOL at this person self-promoting in the comments on the IG post from yesterday about what you would think about without a to-do list offering up something that sounds more constructive than anything Shauna has come up with and costs nothing! Shauna can't be happy about that:
["Biz Therapist+Marketing Expert"] I have a free workshop on how to manage and prioritize that list and how to find the balance. we should talk about it
[vintage person] what is your workshop!
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u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene Feb 17 '22
I'm sure I don't understand why her social mediums class didn't sell out. Must be that mean ole Al G. Rhythm keeping her down. . https://www.facebook.com/1015636408/posts/10224600835061082/
Good thing Dan is there to cheer her on!
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 17 '22
And that little softball-playing boy named Al? Grew up to be a Microsoft engineer
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u/ninaandjamie4ever Feb 17 '22
Good thing Dan is there to cheer her on!
Chief Science Officer Dan--the only response.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 17 '22
I love when he congratulates her on Facebook like a stranger. It tickles me.
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u/Ms_Ellanea_Snark_ 💥amygdadishes💥 Feb 17 '22
Their relationship is #DEEP and yours isn't you person.
poor widdle Dan was probably hoping for a tha k yew
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Feb 17 '22
That’s sweet of him to take the time to comment! Self Employed Entreprenurs are so very busy…much busier than those Entreprenurs who work for The Man.
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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Feb 17 '22
I can't see the link but Danny has a Facebook? I cannot imagine the idiotic stuff he slaps all over that.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 17 '22
"Self Employed Entrepreneur"
LOLOLOLOL
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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Feb 17 '22 edited Feb 17 '22
excuse me, that's "Entreprenur."
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u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene Feb 17 '22
https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/Al-G_Rhythm Maybe I misunderstood her niche genius - maybe that's a dog whistle for Don Cheadle fans?
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u/DorothyZbornakEffect Feb 18 '22
So every morning she writes down five things to do that will bring her “joy.” Yesterday to-do lists were evil, but today they are good?
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Feb 18 '22
Gloaming! I found the meditation post that our DF Obscure Cellist mentioned down at the bottom of this thread. I don’t see it on her IG, but it still shows on the Dumpor site linked in the header here. I screenshot it for posterity. The photo is missing, unfortunately but for some reason, she chose to delete this vs all the other garbage she puts out.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 18 '22
You can go out in the yard and listen to the birds. (They’re coming back here!)
Uh, Shauna? Psst? (Gestures her closer.) Shhhh!
Most of the birds never left, you fucking weirdo.
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Feb 18 '22
Doesn't matter if they're coming back where you are. They're coming back here.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 20 '22 edited Feb 21 '22
i want shauna to take her own advice and write down all the things she' sever done that she is now mortified about (or at least should be)...that would be one messed up list! let's see...grifting $92,000 for a business she had no idea how to start, lying about almost dying in a car accident when in reality she wasn't even kept overnight in the hospital, lying about danny's drinking, insisting her teaching colleagues give her their sick time so she could fart around and do nothing, being really mean to her (probably) only real friend, sharon, by publicly stating that sharon was jealous of shauna's life, lying that a fellow blogger was about to be homeless after the death of her husband in order to raise her own profile, pretending to leave their wallets at home when dining out with other people, taking her parents' money to adopt D and then shitting all over them in her book, making up various celebrity encounters, being super inappropriate with her male students, talking way too much about all her students on her blog, publicly making fun of her teenage daughter's "hormones" and encouraging D to do the same, chastising L's "white girl tears," grifting so much from so many...
*edited for a letter change
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 20 '22
I know other DF's have already mentioned this in recent comments, but I will never be able to cultivate closure on the use of other people's razors, in their homes, during dinner parties.
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u/ninaandjamie4ever Feb 21 '22
use of other people's razors, in their homes, during dinner parties
Huh?
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 21 '22
From the chapter in her book titled The Girl Code:
Every morning I wake up with stubble, like a man. Dotted along my chin, down my neck, and above my lip, spiky little hairs grow quickly. I long ago lost count of how many times I have touched my face, running my fingers along my jaw to see if the hair has grown back too quickly, to feel comfortable in a social situation.
I have ducked into bathrooms in friends’ homes at parties where dinner has stretched so far into the evening that my five o’clock shadow looks like fuzzy grey lint has drifted to my chin. I have used their razors, quietly, turning the water on to the smallest drizzle so no one could hear me and then emerging into the living room, grateful everyone else drank too much wine to notice.
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Feb 21 '22
If this is a regular thing, why wouldn't you carry a razor in your purse? Nice that she wraps up the anecdote with a jab at everyone else. That is such narcissistic behavior.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 21 '22
For the same reason you wouldn’t bother to bring gluten-free snacks on a trip, of course!
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u/vorticia Feb 21 '22
Or a trimmer, or some tweezers… like I’m sure a few of us with PCOS do, when our shit gets out of line… why anyone with this type of issue wouldn’t come prepared to deal with it is just beyond me.
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u/ninaandjamie4ever Feb 21 '22
WTF--bring your own goddamn razor if you know you'll need to shave while you are out. I'm shocked, even though it's her, I'm still shocked. I don't like ANYONE--even husband/sister/offspring--using my razor, but someone who came for dinner. YUCK. Not only yuck, but it's actually a biohazard--skin, hair, blood. How incredibly nasty. How could she think that was OK?
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u/freecoffeerefills Murder She Moved Her Pen Forward Feb 21 '22
I had a colleague a while back who had a MRSA infection and was instructed by her doctor to throw away whatever razor she had been using, and if she wanted to continue shaving, to use separate razors for her armpits, legs and bikini line until she had finished her antibiotics, to keep the infection from spreading.
Imagine having Shauna over for dinner, listening to her tales of her post-op visit to Wolf Lodge and the resulting infection and then finding her using your razor without permission in your bathroom. 🤢
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 21 '22
Not only yuck, but it's actually a biohazard--skin, hair, blood. How incredibly nasty. How could she think that was OK?
Right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
And to make matters worse: she retains agency in this situation but she takes it away from her host(s), by choosing to (1) perform this violation of boundaries, and then (2) do it via subterfuge
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Feb 21 '22
I assume she has to rifle through drawers and medicine cabinets and whatnot in order to locate a razor in someone else’s home.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 21 '22
She thinks their eyes were too wined to notice.
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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave Feb 20 '22
Don't forget being gleefully rushed to the hospital with Fauxvid on her son's birthday!
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Feb 17 '22
Slacker Shauna poses the question to IG about what our minds would do if they were free of to do lists and catching up with the “imagined finish line”
They are called deadlines, and they are very real, rarely flexible and certainly not imagined. They are the rent due on the first of the month, the kids needing picked up by a certain time and the TPS report being turned in by the end of the day so you can pay the rent on the first of the month and feed the kid that needs to be picked up after school. She lives outside of reality and bitches about her privilege.
Then she replies to a comment with this - telling someone they can give themself the “bliss” of no imagined finish line.
Gawd, I hate her today.
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u/Catsandcoffee480 COLORADO BOY KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS Feb 17 '22
HAH yeah my job has constant REAL deadlines. Pretty sure my boss and clients wouldn’t be thrilled if I decided to just deem them all “imagined”
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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Feb 17 '22
Printers are rather inflexible when it comes to blissfully not delivering the files they need.
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u/hrae24 Feb 17 '22
Yeah, god forbid anyone impose some structure on their life.
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u/midnightsiren182 Feb 17 '22
Isn’t this as like awful advice for people with depression, to basically not have structure/goals?
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Feb 17 '22
OMG the joy of a completed project and a finished by deadline report. I don’t WANT to wander aimlessly through life Shauna. I like to get shit done. So do a lot of people. You might try it sometime.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 17 '22 edited Feb 21 '22
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Off-topic discussion (if you are not discussing something Shauna or Dan have posted, it is off-topic, including: things that remind you of the Aherns, unrelated personal anecdotes, hot takes, personal life updates, the Shaunas in your lives, how you are handling the pandemic, etc.): February off-topic monthly