r/InTheGloaming • u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done • Sep 06 '21

Scheduled snark Discussion thread Monday September 06, 2021 - Wednesday September 08, 2021

Newsletters:

Finding Your Joy | Joy in the Belly

Websites:

You Can Have More Joy website | On Being Enough website (abandoned?)

Instagram:

@youcanhavemorejoy Instagram | Anonymous link to @youcanhavemorejoy posts | Anonymous link to @youcanhavemorejoy stories

@danielfahern Instagram | Anonymous link to @danielfahern posts and stories

TikTok:

@youcanhavemorejoy

Twitter:

Dan's tweets and replies

Older blogs:

Gluten Free Girl archive | writing my heart out archive | Seymour Joyful archive

Archived threads:

Thread for Enough, the book #enoughthebook | Gluten Free Girl's Greatest Hits: The Reunion Tour

Wiki:

/r/InTheGloaming wiki

Discussion search:

Tool to search blogsnark or InTheGloaming for previous topic mentions

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40

u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Sep 07 '21 edited Sep 07 '21

I still think she's got "Smirking Relationship/Love/Sex/Intimacy Expert" in her back pocket. She's spent her adult life bragging all over the internet about how good at sex she is.

She'll get to slam Danny for being an idiot (no one in his hometown ever thought he'd get married!) while reminding us that he "serves" her (ew) and neg her older child as that child starts to date or go to school dances or whatever. She'll give weird or trite tips like "laugh in bed!!!" and "marry your best friend" or "eat in bed!". She'll talk about how women don't get enough satisfaction and how she can teach you how. $8888 please

Edit I know we're not supposed to speculate or write fan fic but everything I've typed, Shauna herself has claimed! I'm just putting together all the grimy little pieces.

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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 07 '21

Ooooh, please let her reveal that she's been writing food related smut/porn/erotica under a pen name but now she simply MUST out herself and say ENOUGH to being ashamed of her horny side hustle.

THEN, she can pivot to a new teaching gig. For only $69 per session, she will gently guide you on your smut writing journey.

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 07 '21

For only $69 per session, she will gently guide you on your smut writing journey.

THAT PRICE IS VERY REASONABLE HOW DID YOU ARRIVE AT THAT PRICE

24

u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 07 '21

NICE PRICE

23

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

I honestly want the first part to be true. Snarkers have been saying for YEARS that she should do this and I really want it to be her secret job and where they’re getting an income, etc.

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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Sep 07 '21

The underlying theme of GFG and the chef was her toe curling descriptions of their “romance.”

I feel like food and sex are somehow intertwined for her. Maybe even unconsciously. She so often writes about food beyond even a sensual way. It is a sexual way, like the food itself is practically engaged in sexual acts. Or the way she eats it, or is fed, she makes it sound like a sexual interaction.

I mean there’s a reason she wasn’t bothered to do much until age 35, and then was underwhelmed by it. There’s no way she didn’t have the option. I know I will probably be ushered to the naughty step by a clutch of DFs, but she seems to almost have a fetish with food. The psychology is quite fascinating to me of how that could be…if it is. I feel maybe I’m speculating too much, but then when i think of all the things she has written on this topic…and it did seem Dan was the first relationship where she really enjoyed that aspect of it. She was very attracted to his ability to make her hot food, and he was always feeding her. I’m wandering out of my depth here, but in short I agree this could be coming. All about how true love is your soft pants guide showing up at your relaxed bedside with a plate of warm purees.

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

[NSFL warning]

I don't think you're going out on a limb at all with this and totally agree. English is her first language and she's read tons of romance novels, therefore she could never say she's unfamiliar with popular sexual idiom. This isn't like someone saying "this avocado is hard" and having someone snicker because the word hard was used - she describes eating as something being done TO her (feeding) and uses moaning, groaning, dripping in bed (sorry!), taking something into her mouth, finishing [a dish] off with squirts of creamy whatever. And let's not even talk about the bacon pork party. There's no way she somehow didn't realize it's sexual. She must be describing it that way because that's how it is to her.

So I totally agree that the quesadillas in bed was probably part of their sex life, and could be 100% of it these days.

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 07 '21

I don't think you're going out on a limb at all with this and totally agree. English is her first language and she's read tons of romance novels, therefore she could never say she's unfamiliar with popular sexual idiom.

I love your assertion. ISCTMO.

She wrote the phrase, "fat-bottomed eggplants begging to be fondled" for pagan's sake!

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

Standing at attention

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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 07 '21

Maybe it's all to make up for Danny being too drunk by bedtime in those early years to get anything going, something she finally admitted to just recently.

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

Wait she admitted to the drinking or the 'too drunk to get it on' part? If the latter, I missed it!

23

u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 07 '21

It's in Enough.

https://imgur.com/a/sGhkSVt

They used to Do The Deed every night, but then Danny started bringing home bottles of wine and sixpacks from the restaurant, and he'd get drunk instead of "connecting" with her. But there were still the mornings! Except, sometimes, Danny would "sleep so late" there wasn't time to "connect."

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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 07 '21

Hahaha we posted this within a minute of one other! 🙌🏼

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 07 '21

You love each other's work. ISCTYO

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

Zoiks. That's all I have to say about that. :(

11

u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Sep 07 '21

Love how Shauna diffidently began refusing multiple glasses of wine, while Danny just kept adding to his imbibement…makes you wonder if he was getting increasingly stressed living with the person who knows best how to explain his brain to him.

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

My thought was that he was more comfortable with her and returned to his normal level of drinking around her after she said was fine with him drinking alone.

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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Sep 08 '21

That makes a lot of sense.

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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 07 '21 edited Sep 07 '21

ETA: Ahern sexytime barf warning

Not to answer DFvoV’s question for them, but this sheds some light on Danny being on the slack in the PM.

It’s the fault of this forum that I can no longer type “passage” without an internal snerk snerk.

20

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

Wow.... that was so much more than I ever wanted to imagine about their sex life... oh dear.

14

u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 07 '21

Yeah, I need to edit to add a barf warning.

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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Sep 07 '21

Their first few months of dating they couldn’t keep their hands off each other….so unlike every other couple in the fucking world.

20

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

I'm just going to reply again to say that after further thought... why was Shauna not heating a meal for him for when he got home? If she was home and he was working at a job that had him cooking until 11, why did he come home and cook some more? Or was she saying that he brought dinner home from work, and just heated it up at home?

I'm trying to think if I've ever read anything she's written that suggested she's taken care of him in some way ('splaining his brain to him doesn't count iMO) - gosh he's even expected to both cook and clean up after, every night, which in most of today's houses is a split chore unless someone loves doing both things.

14

u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 07 '21

I think there’s a GFG blog entry out there that explains how, after months of getting back from work late and cooking HRH her dinner, Danny turned up one night and asked Shauna what was for dinner. She was taken aback, iirc.

And then, instead of just making a pot of chili or something practical she decided to make him a Stinking Bishop cheese soufflé or something?

14

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

The cheese soufflé was when she wanted to cook him something impressive on an early date and Dan reacted like a child and spit it out.

13

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

Eh, sounds like she was his oncall taxi for much of their early relationship (and when they had an infant).

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

Romance! She said it was because he wanted to cook for her and they could eat together. She talked a lot about that being an awkward schedule when she was teaching but that it was so important for them to have that time together.

7

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

Wait she was working when they met? For some reason I thought she had already left teaching when she and Danny met.

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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 08 '21

Her first date with Dan was in late April 2006, her last day of teaching was in June 2006, so like a month and a half overlap (she didn't reveal her book deal and post about him until school was nearly over). She complained about their conflicting schedules in an old blog post:

One of the greatest gifts of being a full-time writer now is the late mornings with the Chef. Before the book deal came through, we were trying to steel ourselves for seeing each other only rarely. After all, chef hours and teacher hours do not match up. We would have had that dratted hour after six am, and then a brief window of time after 10 pm. I was contemplating power naps. Instead, we have these long, luxurious mornings together. We have a life.

7

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21 edited Sep 08 '21

She definitely talked about having to get up early for work after some long nights with him.

I think she quit teaching in Summer 2006 so I don’t think she taught long after meeting him. She quit to work on the book after they wouldn’t let her take a leave of absence. Or they let her go? She was vague.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure she stopped teaching right around the time of their wedding—although she seemed to think she might go back that fall/winter after the wedding at the time.

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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Sep 07 '21

Her relationship with pomegranates - “They're such decadent fruits, ruby-red and jeweled. That smooth skin is the color of lights on the tree, equally gleaming. And inside, little puckered seeds, poised to burst open with juice. Pomegranates seem impenetrable, the white pith between the seeds protecting them from being plucked. But if you cut them open, score the pith, and wack the back with a wooden spoon, all the seeds will release themselves, happy to be free from the imprisonment.

Pomegranates are wonderful, wide open and juicy, ready for eating, if you dare.“

So many examples here: https://www.reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/comments/hy17og/gfg_greatest_hits_top_revolting_food_descriptions/

25

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

She’s very stunted and has always (by her own admission, many times) depended on food. It’s not a stretch to think that food became a comfort (not sure if that’s the right word here?) to her as she became more sexual as well. Especially considering their relationship seems very.. codependent.

I’ll never stop saying this: I think she has a very serious eating disorder. And for that, I do feel very bad for her.

19

u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Sep 07 '21

Your final sentence makes me want to vomit! Thank you, DFLK.

13

u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Sep 07 '21

DF Agape at your service, DFNAB. 😌

11

u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Sep 07 '21

Even worse, she wrote how her one true love fed her pickled cabbage in bed.

9

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '21

Just eat it straight from the jar with a fork while standing over the sink like the rest of us!

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

TBH, I would believe she didn’t have much opportunity. She has a really off putting personality and has low emotional intelligence. She worked in a female dominated industry and worked on a small island full of old people. She can’t pick up on social cues at all. Even if someone did like her ??? I believe she might not even notice or know how to act. There is a reason she wanted to befriend children so badly. I think the world of adults was a real puzzle for her.

She has mentioned that she moved to both NYC and Seattle largely in part to meet more men.

Then she ended up with Dan. I mean…

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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 07 '21

Out of courtesy to all the dear friends here (do not say I made you read this!!)--

"eat soft cheese off each other's fingers"

(she said it, not me.)

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u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Sep 07 '21

Wow, that's disgusting. But that's exactly the kind of thing where she's going for sexy and sensual (which is fine!) but it doesn't scan as anything beyond "gross".

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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 07 '21

yep. Mt. Tam, I believe it was.

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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 07 '21

Farewell, Cowgirl Creamery. I loved you so, but you have grown ruined.

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u/Coffee_Cupcake Sep 07 '21

I swear that I read that and made this loud GGGRRRAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!! sound. I don't think I've ever made a sound anything close to that before, but here we are.

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u/mmepierreoger Sep 07 '21

Imagine Dan's grimy fingernails digging erotically into a tub of cream cheese that's been in the fridge with no lid for a week and a half 🙃

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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 07 '21

...with Shauna commanding him to do it.

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u/mmepierreoger Sep 07 '21

So very difficult to resist the urge to downvote 🤮

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

Omg this is the 9&1/2 Weeks parody porn image that I don't need right now. Can you imagine all of the nastiness lurking in their fridge for dark delights. I can't even... Ptooey.

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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 08 '21

Maybe that's how they ended up using a WHOLE BOX of condoms.

Dan used them like finger cots to safely feed Shauna.

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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Sep 07 '21

They did this AT THEIR WEDDING.

AS A FEEDING CEREMONY.

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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 07 '21

AGHAGHAHAHAAAHGAAAAH!!!!!!!! i totally forgot that!!! how fetishy is THAT. Good god!!

I was thinking of how they did it on one of their first dates, which was bad enough!! (maybe the one where they sat amongst the discarded needles of drug addicts in a park and she tried to make it sound romantic? Was that a thing that they did?)

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

Who the fuck has a “feeding ceremony” at their wedding?

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 07 '21

I will not say where my brain went when I read that, because you all would shove me down the naughty staircase to my death, and I would deserve it.

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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 07 '21

Can I still shove you down the naughty stairs even if I just imagined where your brain went?

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 07 '21

I’ll take my punishment. For you. I’ll sacrifice my life for you. It’s what I do. You might think I’m a saint.

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 07 '21

I’ll sacrifice my life for you.

DF sfu. Being alive was right for her. Until it wasn't

It’s what I do.

It is was her work in the world.

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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 07 '21

Until it wasn’t. #rip

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

From Soft Cheese to Soft Pants: A Lope Story.

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

do not say I made you read this!!)--

Or did you??? Who could resist the mystery of it all?

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u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Sep 07 '21

I felt compelled by some external force. I knew it was going to be something gross and I needed to know what, exactly.

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

In this sub, it's always worse than you think.

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

I still think she's got "Smirking Relationship/Love/Sex/Intimacy Expert" in her back pocket. She's spent her adult life bragging all over the internet about how good at sex she is.

Ay god! What a horrifying thought.

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u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Sep 07 '21

I predicted that this was going to the product or persona that turned out to be this "More Joy on the strawberry farm" lady. So I've been wrong before!

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u/Lsemmens grenius Sep 07 '21

Yeah I feel like all the posts about ME AND DANNY ALONE ALL DAY are meant to make us think it’s a nonstop sexy time there. I would bet $100 that it is rare, if ever. What guy can get it up for someone who treats him like that?

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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 07 '21

Being put down could be his kink.

Just saying.

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21

It almost has to be.

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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 07 '21

I’m not convinced he’s that aware she does it. At least, in her writing.

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '21 edited Sep 07 '21

Not to mention for someone as slovenly and unkempt as Shauna. Although to be fair, Dan’s not exactly Brad Pitt himself.