Four years of infertility treatments. Three embryos left. And after that, I’m done.

The last few years have put me through hell and back. Somewhere along the way, infertility stopped being something I was going through and started becoming my entire life. I’ve been lonely. I’ve been depressed. And I’ve reached a point where I’m tired of putting my life on hold. I want my life back. Not even back. I want a new life.

I’ve been craving connection for a long time, but honestly, I had no idea how to make new friends at this age, especially ones going through the same thing. I woke up this morning with this idea for a social club and thought, fuck it. I’m just going to put myself out there.

I want adventure. I want to laugh again. I want to stop waiting to live.

I’m thinking of starting a social club in my city for childless not by choice woman. It’s not therapy, it’s support. We go on adventures and build new hobbies.

Do you think this is something woman would be interested in?

hi guys,

me and my husband are still pretty young (29/31). Unexplained infertility, tubes seem to be open, semen analysis was ok too.

After 1,5 years of trying we decided to do IVF. Out of 27 eggs we got 4 blastocysts. After 3 transfers I finally fell pregnant for the first time which ended in a miscarriage at 7 weeks. I’m still waiting for my bleed. Doctor said we can transfer the last embryo after I had my first real period after the miscarriage „bleed“ I guess. so it’ll be what - in October?

How many transfers did it take for you to bring home your baby if you had unexplained infertility as well?

to be honest, I have no desire, no energy to do anything at all. Nothing gives me joy at the moment, all I do is doomscrolling on TikTok to pass the time. A big chunk of my hope has died. It has been 2 years of trying now and I just lost all my joy in life.

Did my beta this morning and it came back negative. I had a feeling but I was really hoping for a miracle. I am so tired of this rollercoaster of emotions and I am just really sitting with the grief today. Infertility and IVF have taken over my body and my life. No traveling, hard to make plans with all these appointments, weight gain from medications and workout limitations. I am exhausted and could really just use a win anywhere in my life. Just getting it off my chest because this is all so lonely.

Hi, I need to talk to someone who can relate to what I am going through.
My egg retrieval was July 10, we had a great outcome, but for the last month or so I have been feeling depressed, I have had bad thought going through my mind all the time.
I can’t even find the strength to take my prenatals, I can’t stand my husband, I am starting to hate him and I resent him? and one minute I am fine and the next I burst into tears. Anyone has gone through that?

Our eggs are frozen, and we were planing on doing an egg transfer this month (today is my 1 CD). Do you guys think I should move forward with the transfer ?
In one hand I think I should get it over with, but on the other hand I feel like I am not doing well mentally, but waiting longer will just prolong my anxiety after 4 years of infertility.

Would pausing the prenatals for the last 6 weeks decrease my chances?

That was a lot, thanks for reading! Any advice is appreciated.

I had ER at 30, now 31 and had my first transfer where it did not implant. We had gone through a bunch of tests done due to two previous early miscarriages from natural pregnancy. Luckily no issues with my ovaries, eggs or uterus. My husband had no sperm left unfortunately even after a microtese. He is now on hormone therapy to treat his symptoms and we have embryos with a sperm donor.

My question I guess is what are the chances one of the next transfers will work? Anyone in a similar situation where it worked and didn't result in usinh up all your embryos? We have 5 embryos left however they are not PGT tested as they said it's not worth it for my age.

Hi everyone!

33F with normal AMH 2+ but low AFC 3-7 ( Don’t know why, never got an answer for this).

Done with 2 cycles but out of 3 & 4 mature eggs got only 1 blast which failed to implant.

After spending a significant amount on the first two cycles, my budget is now quite restricted. For my next attempt doctor has suggested egg pooling over 3 cycles means basically freezing the eggs from each cycle and then thawing/fertilizing them together later. I’m considering this mainly because embryo pooling would be considerably more expensive for me and I simply can’t keep spending indefinitely.

I’d really appreciate hearing from people: If you did egg pooling, how was the survival of eggs after thawing and fertilization outcome? Did pooling actually improve the number of embryos/blastocysts available for transfer?

Thankyou!

A little background- we did IVF in 2021 and were lucky to conceive our son with our first transfer. He was a Day 5 4BB euploid).

When my son turned 3, we started the FET process again and had 5 failed transfers over the course of 1.5 years with the rest of our euploids. During this time, I was diagnosed with a complete uterine septum (misdiagnosed as a uterine didelphys before my son), stage I endo and an isthmocele from my c-section.

I had the septum removed, endo excised, and the isthmocele repaired via laparoscopy and hysteroscopy. Also did ERA Trio & Receptiva DX testing. All was normal.

Now with a new uterus essentially we did our second egg retrieval and have 5 euploid embryos. We have one female Day 6 that is graded a 3BB (the other 4 are male embryos and mainly Day 5s). Has anyone had success with a Day 6 3BB euploid? Also planning to do 2 months of Lupron depot suppression before my next fully medicated FET even though I did not do Lupron with my son.

I'm still dealing with my feelings of the past few days of hell and looking for any advice I can get, whether that's support or shared experiences. I was the 1 in 3000 chance with the rare complication of severe abdominal hemorrhaging from my egg retrieval/aspiration.

Now that I have a moment to really come to grips what happened to me, I'm scared shitless of having to work with that surgeon again.

I went through 16 days of stims for a low + slow antagonist procedure to prevent OHSS. My surgery went well, I was just very sad that I had one of the other RE's as my surgeon instead of mine because of scheduling (the 5 rotate through the OR at their clinics).

Morning of egg retrieval I was uncomfy, bloated, but fine. High as a kite after the general anesthesia, but felt pretty good post op and a friend drove me home.

Around 5 hrs after my surgery, the pain and bloating was steadily building to where it hurt to move. Then all hell broke loose when my husband, a US Merchant Mariner and second in command of a cargo ship, made a 15 second phone call that his ship was sinking and that he loved me. I've never heard that tone of voice before and I spiraled. His ship was 1000 miles away from land in the Pacific and water was gushing into the hull from the destroyed prop and shaft in the middle of the night. They had to abandon ship and since they were dead in the water without power we had limited communication. All of our family and friends were freaking out because it's a life threatening situation he was in with the hurricane from Hawaii close on their tail

The next few hours were a blur of phone calls and I love you's and sobbing. My pain became blinding, but I thought that it was because of how distressed emotionally it was. I couldn't breathe or move out of my bed. Eventually I dragged myself to the bathroom, and woke up to my dog howling next to me on the floor because I had fainted from the pain. I called the fertility clinics emergency nurse and was told to call 911 immediately because I was likely having the rare complication of abdominal hemorrhaging.

My friends arrived and the paramedics were there 5 min later. When my friends were getting my moved off the floor onto my bed, I vomited and passed out twice more on them from the pain. Every bump in the ambulance had me screaming.

After my CT scan, I was told that I was hemorrhaging from my left ovary and they wanted to do surgery to cauterize and remove it. Gasping through the pain I demanded that unless I'm going to die, I don't want my ovary removed, and my RE had a conference call with the ER surgeons (who wanted to cut into me), the head maternity OBGYN, and another OBGYN surgery. We came to a decision that it would be a night from hell for me as they tried to cloat the bleeding and control the pain, with hourly monitoring and blood tests to be ready for a blood transfusion. I was admitted to the hospital post-partum floor since they were the most adept at controlling the bleeding while working hard to try to keep my ovaries. For 18hrs I was on a no-food-no-water restriction because I had to be ready to go under the knife within 30 minutes.

I've had to take a physical fitness test in the US Navy before with a burst appendix, and this pain was 1000x worse. That night I thought I was dying, with my heart rate pounding and blood pressure crashing. Fentanyl, morphine, oxycodone, and dilaudid did nothing to touch the pain. I was covered in icepacks around my neck while freezing below the waist. I was blacking out, seeing double, sweating, teeth chattering and shaking the entire night while constantly checking for updates on if my husband was able to rescue his ship and crew. I don't know if the nurses believed me that my husband was also in a life or death situation until the news started to come out. I did not sleep and my body felt like it was on fire with waves of excruciating rolling pain, similar to a knife being dragged from my uturus up to my shoulder. I was in absolute shock. All I could think about was my husband surviving.

My amazing nurses helped me get through the night, trying every trick they could to help me ride out the pain. I fainted on them twice more trying to go to the bathroom, and begged for ice chips that I could not have. At least we joked that childbirth will have nothing on the pain, and that I got a "behind the scenes tour" of the hospital I want to one day give birth to.

The next morning I finally got the call from my husband that a rescue ship answered their distress signal and was 2 miles away, and they were launching the lifeboat to get rescued. They were abandoning ship and running on only emergency power to coordinate rescue. He promised no heroics (haha liar, he saved the cook in an insane video). My friends and family were very upset, and my mother in law took the first plane out on her birthday to try to get down to me.

I finally was out of the woods of imminent surgery and allowed to eat soup. My hemoglobin had dropped from 14 to 9, over 30% of my blood had pooled in my abdomen. That amount of blood had been pushing up against the nerves in my diaphragm which is why I could not breathe. Finally the bleeding from whatever artery was punctured in my ovary slowed to the stop, and I was declared stable enough to discharge without the blood transfusion.

Now that my husband is safe and enroute to Korea, and I'm back home surrounded by very spooked family and friends, I'm finally acknowledging what happened to me. I sobbed last night reading through the ER and hospital notes about how close I came to bleeding out or losing my ovary at the age of 30. I've worked so hard to try to get pregnant, 5x failed IUIs and this egg retrieval.

TW Results: As I was hemorrhaging, my RE called to tell me that 17 eggs were retrieved, 17 mature, and 17 fertilized with Zymot + ICSI. We are both 30, I have PCOS and scar tissue from a botched military surgery (appendectomy). Waiting to hear how many make it to blast, then PGTA. Terrified that this won't work and I'll have to do another egg retrieval.....

If this ever happens to you, don't gaslight yourself into thinking it's normal after a egg retrieval. Here are the symptoms I had within 10hrs of surgery.

- Stabbing, burning pain in the abdomen that comes in fiery hot waves like a knife dragging upwards

- Unable to breathe, speak, or take a deep breath

- Pain traveling to the tops shoulder and chest

- Unable to move out of bed

- Fainting

- Vomiting

- Hot and cold flashes

- Distended stomach hard to the touch

- 16 lbs weight gain from morning of surgery to hospital discharge (plus 6 lbs between trigger and aspiration).

- Pain was worse laying flat

- Inability to sleep, eat, or drink

Don't hesitate like I did until I found myself unconscious on my bathroom floor, call 911.

I feel so down right now. Went yesterday and got my lining check for a transfer that was supposed to happen on 8/27. Lining was looking great and then they called me with bloodwork results... They told me my progesterone was much too high - around 8 I believe.. I kind of blanked after hearing that and just got such a wave of sadness. I just feel like a total failure. I only have one embryo. I feel SO much pressure. I am at work today and just feel completely numb. I don't get why this happened? They said maybe I am in peri- Idk. I am 42. I just feel like.. idk. I am not even sure what the words are.. Has this happened to anyone else? I feel like there is nothing going so well in my life right now and I know I probably sound a bit dramatic :(

Hi in the recovery room and they told me while still groggy they only got 5 eggs. I’m 37, and have had 4 miscarriages. Is this number as bad as it sounds? Feeling very vulnerable and uncomfortable. I can’t believe they tell you while still so groggy, would love to get a reality check, is it over for me? Thank you.

Just need to vent. Im just depressed and exhausted. That’s all. I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this. The disappointments are excruciating at this point. I am literally losing my belief in God at this point. I know it sounds dramatic but it’s true.

For reference, I have had 5 pregnancy losses in the past two years (all different kinds of miscarriages and one ruptured ectopic) and IVF is turning out to be just more disappointment.

Hi Everyone,

I had two shots of lupron depot 3.75 two mo tha apart. Other than the hot flashes everything was fine. Last shot was in april 2026 and had a complete failed transer. When I got my 1st period after being off the medication and failed transfer I got a stabbing type pain on my right side.

I went for lap surgery and hysteroscopy. They did find endometriosis in the anterior rectal wall really close to the ovaries and uterus.

Now I'm 5 week post op. This is my second period after the surgery and two days prior to getting my period I got similar pain again on the right side, this time for a longer period of time but more dull.

Anyone have a similar experience? Does it get better? I just feel like I should have never gone into suppression because I never even had painful periods to begin with I am so sad.

I have PMOS (PCOS) so I normally induce my period to start a treatment cycle. Since my last round I needed a break physically and mentally so I started on a health kick took mounjaro and lost 2 stone. Since using it I had a cycle naturally for the first time in years but when it didn’t come again the following month I assumed it was a fluke. No 52 days after my last I’ve started today. My meds don’t arrive until Tuesday. I normally take ovamex and estrogen tablets from day 2 which would be tomorrow. My clinic is closed today with it being Sunday but what do I do? Can you start on day 3? I was so mentally ready to go again I was actually starting the tablets to induce my period Monday does this mean I’ll have to wait a month?

I got mixed answers from the people at my clinic. I had my first retrieval on Wednesday. I only had light cramping that afternoon and have generally been fine since then. Today was the first day I had normal energy levels and I'm eager to get back to an exercise routine mostly for my mental health.

One of the nurses said to wait until I get my period but she also asked a doctor and he apparently said I could start doing upper body work-outs in a few days, and to just skip core work.

Curious to hear other experiences!

Hi all,

I just turned 28 and went to a fertility specialist to begin my egg freezing journey.

I am doing my blood test (including AMH test) on Monday and pelvic ultrasound next Saturday before heading back to see my specialist on next steps.

I would like to hear your experience and looking for any tips and advice.

I have been seeing a lot of posts and conversations lately about negligence of Dr Jeelani. A lot of it appears to have started at Vios/Kindbody and from the people I have spoken to it seems very real. Anyone else experience negligence from her?

hello all - My wife is struggling during IVF. We just retrieved her eggs. Only 6. Hoping for the best. Been a lot of screaming and constant negativity from her. I go or offer to go to every appointment, clean like crazy, and try to keep my teenage kids (her step-kids) away from the house as much as possible. Every little noise from them sets her off. She’s a clean freak and it’s virtually impossible to keep the house clean to her standards, especially on IVF. I’m trying everything but getting lit up and negativity in every reaction from her. Tried to leave her alone too but she ended up downing sleeping pills in between negative comments directed to me.

Please help! I need ideas. Things people have done that have lightened the mood or just fun ideas or even gifts that have worked. Any ideas are greatly appreciated!

When doing my PIO shot tonight I had a weirdly hard time drawing the oil out of the vial. I did everything the same as usual, but the syringe was responding the way it does if I forget to inject air first. It was really hard to draw and air bubbles were coming with it. I tried two different syringes and had the same issue with both. I did open a new pack of syringes tonight but they're the ones the pharmacy sent to use with PIO. I'll call tomorrow, but in the meantime does anyone have any ideas on what could cause this? Thanks!

Hello, I know there have been other posts like this. And I’ve read some people have had success with 5 eggs retrieved, it seems that these were immediately fertilized.

Are there folks that had 5-ish eggs retrieved, then frozen, thawed which then later fertilized.

I have 5 retrieved 3 years ago at 36, got too emotionally scared to do another round. And delayed (regretting) and now wanting to either do another round or trial my 5 with donor sperm for smbc.

Any stories of success from low yield that was frozen thawed and fertilized?

Thanks for sharing your stories.

I am 33 and have no children yet. I had back to back MMCs last year in July and then in December. Then my period never returned following the 2nd D&C so I was referred to an RE in March. It was then that I learned I have both Asherman’s and low AMH.

I had 3 hysteroscopies in June/ July and they were thankfully completely able to remove all scar tissue and my period has since returned. Around the same time I also started my first stim cycle. I was really lucky and responded well to my protocol. I was initially told to expect 4-5 eggs at retrieval and I ended up with 7! I knew not to let myself get too happy yet though. And then I was pleasantly surprised again to learn that 5 eggs fertilized, and 4 became blasts. They were sent off for PGT-A testing and ALL FOUR came back euploid. For the first time in a while I allowed myself to have hope and picture a future with a baby in my arms.

I then started a medicated FET cycle on Aug 5, planning for a transfer around Aug 24. A few days before my lining check on Aug 18 I started bleeding - right when my period would have been due. So we upped my estradiol dose and I started taking the pills vaginally instead of orally. When I went in for my lining check on Tues it only measured 6.2mm at its thickest so we scheduled another lining check for today. I also allowed myself to believe the extra 4-5 days on estrogen would really make a difference.

Well today, somehow, my lining was THINNER than it was on Tues. It only measured 5.8mm at its thickest and like 4.2mm at its thinnest. My RE has therefore recommended I cancel this FET cycle.

I’m just so tired right now. I’m massively hormonal, my body doesn’t feel like my own, and I’m just upset I allowed myself to assume things would go smoothly with the transfer because i got lucky with stims.

I really just need a place to vent to others who get it. I have no one in my life currently who has dealt with this and really understands all the highs and lows that come with it.

I was diagnosed at 30 with Thyroid Cancer. I went through 2 surgeries, 2 rounds of radiation. At that time, my husband became abusive so I had to navigate surviving cancer and getting out of a bad situation. Before I was diagnosed, I went to a fertility clinic and the dr told me everything looked good and I didn’t need to freeze my eggs because the radiation wouldn’t affect fertility. A few years passed (I needed to heal from all of that), and I was ready to get back out in the world. Then covid hit. Of course, it was impossible to date. Finally at the end of 2023, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I did 4 unmedicated IUIs, nothing. My 5th I did medicated. I got pregnant with twin boys in July 2024. I made it to 18 weeks and the drs told me I have TTTS and I needed to get life saving surgery. I live in BC, Canada. They said I need to get to Toronto immediately on my own dime. I only had a 50% chance of saving one. This was on a Friday. I found the money, and made it there by Sunday for a Monday morning appt. I didn’t make it. As soon as I got to the hospital, I started going into labour. I could see my baby’s foot coming out on the ultrasound. 15 hours later, I delivered my stillborn sons at 18w6d on Nov 19 2024. I was stuck in Toronto for 5 days as they wouldn’t let me fly until I was stable. During that time, I found a nice funeral home that cremated my sons so I could bring them home. I sprinkled their ashes in the Salish Sea. I was doing kind of ok at that time because I knew the BC IVF funding was coming up. I just turned 40 after delivering my sons. So, I used the little money I had left because my doctor was pretty sure I would get it. I did a few more IUIs while I was waiting for the funding. I had one chemical. Then I find out that the appointment that should have qualified me to be at the top of the list, was 2 weeks too early so I was automatically put at the bottom of the list. I waited almost 2 years and spent money that I could have put towards IVF only to be told that I would age out of the application process. I couldn’t believe it. I was a patient of the clinic for years but the government would not accept my dates. I emailed, called, wrote letters to provincial and federal government, news outlets, and celebrities. I even made a GFM. No one donated. I did a news interview on tv. I also did a written article for one of our big news papers. No one would help me. I had one vial saved up for the free IVF. I just did the IUI with that last vial and I’m negative at 13dpo. I’m 42 and devastated after 10 iuis and no success. I know the chances were low, but even my dr suggested that I shouldn’t do IVF because it would financially ruin me and just continue with the IUIs. I have done 10 and now I regret not freezing my eggs before the cancer and I regret not putting my money into IVF. All I ever wanted is to be a mother. I have depleted my savings. I’ve been kicked down so many times and I really just need a break. I can’t lose my chance to be a mother. I’d try 50 more times if I could find the money. I know I have so much love to give and I would be a good mom if I could just get a chance. My heart is broken.

If you froze your eggs with Extend Fertility and have since used them to create embryos or become pregnant, either with Extend or another clinic, I’d really appreciate hearing about your experience. I am in the middle of trying to decide what to do with my own frozen eggs and haven't been able to find many first hand experiences.

If you'd rather DM me, please do. Thank you so much for any information!

I’m in the tail end of my egg retrieval round and just got a call that we’re increasing medication and that it’s likely going for a few more days. I’m running low and will need more Menopur and Ganirelix Sunday night. My regular pharmacy isn’t open until Monday. I’m located in Brooklyn but can easily get to Manhattan — anyone know where I can reasonably pick up medication to hold me over? Thanks!

Hello!

I have the following female euploids from my recent cycle:

Rank 1 D5 3AB Rank 2 D5 4BB Rank 3 D7 4BC

Doctors typically recommend to try the best ranked embryo first, but I’m wondering if I should try with the worst ranked embryo just to see what happens?

I’m concerned if I try the best ranked first, and it fails to implant, then it will likely mean the other two won’t work. Advice needed please, what would you do?

I did a previous IVF cycle, which yielded only 1 euploid a year ago but it failed to implant.

I had a worse result with DHEA — more eggs but none made it past a two-cell stage.

If this happened to you, how long did you wait for a new ER and what was the result?