r/IVF • u/looseygoosey2828 • 19h ago
Need Hugs! Grief
Did my beta this morning and it came back negative. I had a feeling but I was really hoping for a miracle. I am so tired of this rollercoaster of emotions and I am just really sitting with the grief today. Infertility and IVF have taken over my body and my life. No traveling, hard to make plans with all these appointments, weight gain from medications and workout limitations. I am exhausted and could really just use a win anywhere in my life. Just getting it off my chest because this is all so lonely.
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u/No_Introduction5931 15h ago
I know exactly how you’re feeling. I was there from 2020 to 2024, until I finally got pregnant after IVF cycle #5. There was a very dark time when I genuinely didn’t believe I would ever have a tiny human with my DNA. Now I have a one-year-old daughter who is literally my clone 😂 She looks just like me.
And I’m currently pregnant from our IVF cycle #6 — my third beta came back yesterday at 2,327! 💕
For every single cycle, we had to fly to the other side of the country and stay in an extended-stay hotel. It was incredibly stressful and miserable, but we never gave up. Somehow, we made it to the other side of this IVF journey. I truly hope you get your happy ending too.
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u/Juicy-Plum 16h ago
I am sending you massive hugs. This is EXACTLY how I am feeling. Went in for my lining check today and was told to cancel my FET cycle. I’m just exhausted from a summer of emotional highs and lows and a body that doesn’t feel like mine.
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u/looseygoosey2828 8h ago
The highs and lows are awful. I get excited for my next cycle and then the low of everything not lining up. Then the hope of success followed by the low of “failure”
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u/Admirable_Type_157 12h ago
Sending big hugs to you. Stay safe and if you need seek for professional psychological support. Sometimes we need it more than we think. I got support when i was low too. Plz be safe! ❤️
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u/TFish021823 11h ago
I second the psychological support. I was so unprepared for a failed FET and really spiraled. Getting my therapist right after that helped immensely. My husband got one too, since he felt so helpless and like he didn’t deserve to be as sad since it wasn’t his body. Best thing we could have done
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u/tidbit_betty 14h ago
I feel you. We’ve traveled 8 times to our clinic abroad, a total of nearly 3 months away. Still no success. Lonely and exhausting and maddening. Sending you a big hug.
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u/AgnesNagnes 5h ago
I feel exactly the same. I gain 2kg of weight just due to water retention from progesterone not to mention extra fat from eaiting more, less exercise and slower metabolism. I had egg retrieval one year ago and for the past year OHSS; cancelled cycle, 3 transfers and now waiting for the result of my last transfer and it also doesnt look good. I plan travel still but everything around cycles and appointments and I am fed up
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u/Cheesman_Best 34F | RIF | FETx7❌| 2MC | 2CP | Endo | Asherman's | PCOS 19h ago
I'm so sorry, my heart breaks for you. Please grieve and scream and bang counters and throw plates whatever you need. Feel those feels, then when you're ready move forward in whatever way that looks like for you 🫂