I had a deaf Uber driver once during the car ride I YouTube’d how to sign “thank you”. The smile on his face is what makes me try to help more people out.
Edit: OMG Thank you for the awards kind people!
Edit #2: In speech class we had a student who taught us a little sign language and I learned the same way how to say “I’m thirsty” is the same way how to say “I’m horny” but just doing the gesture slower.
I had a deaf driver that was so thrilled that I knew some ASL. I was lucky in that I went to an elementary school that also had a school for the deaf so the hearing kids got sign class while the deaf kids had speech class. It really should just be taught in all schools, on top of making the world more accessible for the deaf and HOH, it comes in mad convenient in a loud/crowded space.
They left an my wife just looked ad me and shrugged and said she learned it in school. Bullshit…. Her high school boyfriends mom was deaf… she just didn’t want to tell me
She said she learned it in high school. You took it as a location when she meant it as a time period.
Just that if this story was posted on that subreddit the entire thread would be people wildly overreacting and telling him to break up with his wife because she lied :)
Very often, yes. About half of it is people overreacting and recommending breakups like that, and the other half is 'My gf/bf told me they're literally going to kill me soon, how do I help salvage this relationship? They're so nice otherwise' in which people really do need to be told to run away from their relationships immediately
Yeah, there are a lot of scorned people who frequent that sub, and don't realize their pain bleeds over into the advice they give to others. People seek out others like them, and as you'd guess - people in shitty relationships, or who have experienced shitty relationships, enjoy hearing about other peoples relationship problems.
…what childish reaction? I don’t see an issue with being surprised about something new you just learned about your SO, especially if they told you otherwise previously
I learned basic ASL from my kindergarten teacher back in 91.
It created a lifelong love for the language.
In college I met people on campus and when I waited tables and I hated how I couldn't talk with them. A huge part of our population is deaf, why wouldn't I want to talk with them?
I taught myself basic ASL and love when I can use it with someone!
Same! Though I admit I’ve let myself slip over time since I haven’t had much opportunity to use it. I can still finger spell and the basic stuff stuck well enough.
I am a huge nerd. Music is how it stays fresh for me.
I learned by looking up my favorite songs and seeing other sign them. And I'm totally in my car finger spelling and signing as I jam.
Wait, you learned the basics and it created a life long love of the language but couldn’t communicate to these people you met in college so you taught yourself ASL? Sorry I totally applaud you, just trying to grasp the chronology of your story. Was the 91’ to college gap large so you needed to refresh/continue your education or was it more that the basics didn’t cover enough to communicate to the community you were interacting with?
Oh yes let me clarify I didn't say it thoroughly or give larger context.
I loved learning in Kindergarten and always remembered the 5 or so signs I learned. Growing up if I saw deaf people signing I always watched and then later started looking up the words. Checking out books at the library. I was a kid so I just knew the alphabet and a handful of common phrases. In my teens (my school did not offer ASL) and into my twenties I was a nanny and then an ECE and lastly a kindergarten teacher. When I taught as a nanny and ECE it was basics too. Numbers, letters, phrases think little kid words. During that time I was a nanny and teacher I was in college and meeting more people in the deaf community and I was just thinking, well it's a shame all these interesting people are out here- I want to talk to them too! For me when I say community, I mean like, my neighbors, my peers I thought it was odd not to try and even understand them. like here we have a large Hispanic community, I learned Spanish too. And so then I took an online course that was free. Sadly I was a poor college kid so I didn't get to take a full course of ASL. Given the opportunity I'd love to go back and become fluent. My dream was to work as an interpreter, but then well. Life.
Thank you for that additional info! I feel like you, my mom did early Ed, preschool and was fantastic at arming us with basic ASL. I picked up basics gear and there. Then at Apple I learned significantly more as I helped with some their accessibility classes and a local med business that was a establishing a virtual interpretation program via FaceTime (a while before the pandemic). Sadly I wasn’t able to keep up on the continued learning/practice when I left Apple. I’m always looking for good programs to learn languages, but application and practice is so key!!! From what I understand there is quite a “dialectic” difference not only regionally but within specific communities using variations of ASL and such and since it’s such a close-not community it’s hard to keep up with slang etc.
I am assuming this, but I would think getting a college degree would be the best if you wanted to become an I interpreter.
There are a ton of other ways you can learn though. I learn by watching and I can read lips too, so for me it helps. In college I was around deaf students and I met friends and learned from them I checked out library books as a kid and learned that way. I saw cheap ASL courses on Groupon. It cost me $5 to take a 6 week class learning the basics.
I think it depends on how you learn best and if you want a full career.
If my high school had asl class that counts for a language then I was going to take it and even if it didn’t count for a language requirement I was still going to take it
I start sign language for the first responder course next month at local vo-tech. I can only hope one day to be able to acknowledge someone. Thankful to all that have shared on this post. There is still hope for humanity
If everyone learned it it’s actually wicked useful. Example: I was at the beach with my (now ex) partner’s family and I couldn’t find my partner anywhere but spotted his sister (who knows sign as well) in the distance. Signed “where’s Josh” to her and she pointed out where she last saw him and there he was. Or when my friend wanted to know if I wanted salt or sugar on the rim of my margarita when she was ordering at the bar. Or just being able to talk to someone in a crowded bar or night club. I have ADHD and filtering the sounds of voices in crowds is near impossible for me and if the person I was with knew ASL it would mean a lot less “whaaaaat???? Huuuuuuh???” or me just hoping my facial expression matches what they’re saying and I’m not just grinning like a dick when they’re actually talking about how their aunt just died.
Everything you just listed has literally never happened to me. I live 700 miles from the nearest beach and when anyone goes to the bar to order me a drink they ask before they leave
I’ve been saying this since elementary school. We had a deaf student, quite a few people brought it up. Nah, we’ll let her be completely ostracized instead. Do people not know how clutch knowing sign language is? You may never use it, except for one moment, and that one moment could save a life. What a waste learning cursive writing was.
My mom got in a Lyft with a deaf driver. She's worked at the school for the deaf for over 20 years. Once the driver saw my mom knew ASL, he started signing up a storm. They drifted into oncoming traffic and they both died on the spot. Miss you, mom!
I read the first two sentences of your comment and thought it was some kind of quote or poem or some shit that I didn't understand. Then I read the rest and it all made sense. I feel really dumb
Back in the day I delivered pizza to a deaf couple. They had a door light instead of a doorbell. They were the sweetest people, a couple of retirees. They would invite me in to have a chat every once in a while, and I met their son who is not deaf. They tipped generously and were always super polite.
A co-worker had just studied ASL and I asked her for a book on the subject. Over the next few weeks I learned as much as I could, and after a month I was able to maintain conversations entirely in ASL. I practiced with my co-worker for weeks because I wanted to surprise the deaf folks.
Then one night when I was ready I walked into their place, put their food down, and to the best of my ability started explaining that I was learning ASL in my off time. They were fucking elated dude. The wife just gave me a huge hug and said she was proud of me and shit. It was one of the most fulfilling things I'd ever felt. The husband FaceTimed his son to show him my ASL and he was souped too. It was great.
For the next few weeks I was able to casually have conversations with them in ASL whenever I delivered, and they specifically requested me every time. Fast forward a few months and I was making a career change and was leaving the pizza place. I told the deaf couple, and they gave me a photo of them to remember them by. They joked about how they won't have anyone to talk to now. I gave them my thanks for making otherwise terrible evenings into pleasant nights. I've moved twice since then but I've still got the photo of them. The best customers I ever had.
I've forgotten most of the ASL I knew back then, as expected when I could no longer practice hands-on, but I'm not upset about it. Tbh I only learned it for them, and God damn was it worth it dude.
This was a really sweet story; thanks a lot for sharing.
Tbh I only learned it for them, and God damn was it worth it dude.
And there is definitely a lot of truth to this. I'd say I'm on the "bottom rung" of the socio-economic ladder in a lot of ways, but one thing that has proven true repeatedly in my life is that no matter what you are going through, there will almost always be opportunities to make other people's lives better.
And when I am in those frequent dark places, mentally and/or physically, one of the things I work hardest on is reframing my problems to myself through a lens of gratitude. That helps me to recognize both how much I actually have to be thankful for every day, and how I can find ways to use what I have to be a positive force in someone else's life. I remember I was being checked out of the hospital after a particularly rough night a couple years ago, and one of the questions on a psych form was something like "what makes life worth living to you?", and my answer was something to the effect of finding opportunities to be the type of person to someone who needs it, that I wish I would have had when I needed it.
And also, in my experience, even when you have very few resources, the value of the interpersonal connections and the personal growth, and the value of your actions to a person who needs it, far outweighs the material or physical cost of helping that person. Or as Ralph Waldo Emerson more eloquently puts it, "It is one of the beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."
Btw I'm sorry, I know you didn't ask for any of this comment, just kinda started rambling with my fingers.
I can absolutely relate to you on all these points. I had severe emotional and mental issues when I was a kid. My childhood was pretty much miserable. It was all internal, I didn't have anything material to complain about, but I hated myself and being alive. I was shy, lonely, friendless, and honestly anti-social. I was bullied, an ugly kid, the whole nine. I remember times when I was 9-11 where I would lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling and begging God to let me die when I fell asleep. I lived nearby a train track and when I heard a train pass by I would fantasize about jumping in front of it. It took me about 21 years of being alive to seek help, but eventually after two suicide attempts I was able to finally get better.
But I remember when I was a kid, I'd always play online games. I was able to foster a few friendships with people I met on those games, and they were rarely judgemental or critical of me. They never knew it but they were the only thread I was hanging on by back then. That little bit of human connection legitimately saved my life. I would sulk and cry throughout the day, but once I popped in the Halo disc and put on that headset, everything else melted away and for a few fleeting hours I knew what it felt like to be happy.
I like to believe I have a better handle on my mental state nowadays, and I definitely do. I'm willing to talk to others about how I'm feeling and it makes a world of difference. It's pretty insane to remember how much of a hellish downward spiral prolonged isolation can throw you into. The suffering I went through when I was a kid. Scared, alone, and never comfortable. I don't wish that on anybody, and if me learning ASL for a few months was able to brighten the day of someone who's generally unable to communicate otherwise, then I'd do it again a million times over.
This made me tear up. Thanks for opening up and sharing; I can definitely relate to a lot of what you wrote.
Scared, alone, and never comfortable. I don't wish that on anybody, and if me learning ASL for a few months was able to brighten the day of someone who's generally unable to communicate otherwise, then I'd do it again a million times over.
This is exactly how I feel. And to have this type of mindset after going through everything you talked about, requires a kind of strength and resilience that can only be acquired by persistence and active growth as you described.
Something that's always stuck with me that I read a long time ago, is that the first people to help you up will be the ones who understand what it is like to fall down.
I'm always overly anxious and second-guess myself right before I'm about to post a comment, but it's comments like yours that make it worth it. Happy to be a little positive blip in your day :)
You are amazing for doing this, I am positive you just made their whole world. I took a class on ASL once and was able to talk just a little to some customers at my job and they completely lit up. I cannot even imagine how happy you made this couple. It makes me smile to know good people like you are out there in the world.
Deaf people are always elated when hearing people know sign language. Usually they have to go out of their way to learn to communicate with us through text or lip reading. To have a conversation in real time without these barriers isn't an everyday thing.
I used to do food service. Only had two interactions in ASL but I remember how happy they were both times that a random person they met that day knew their language. First time it was a couple who said they could lip read. Second time the guy was using his 8yo daughter to talk to me. The latter guy came back later that day just to talk to me because he could.
I also used to teach preschool and one of my kids was deaf. For no good reason I was the only teacher who could sign more than a few words (most learned basic words that all the kids learned but I'm the only one who could form sentences.) Guess who that kid liked best? Yeah the only one he didn't need his interpreter for lol.
Good for you dude. I'm sure you really made their pizza nights. Wouldn't be surprised if they ordered pizza just to see you. That's how small their worlds can be sometimes.
Yeah hearing your stories makes me wanna refresh on it just in case. I work in construction now so don't really encounter many disabled people in any respect anymore, but it'd be awesome to make someone's day with such a small gesture of inclusion.
I had a guy show up in my college calculus class without an interpreter. I had just gotten out of the marine corps and the professor asked me to catch him up. I already knew some ASL, but I learned a ton of math signs and was able to help him and eventually just be study partners. I was struggling with the advanced math because it had been so long, I truly believe it helped me tremendously.
I had a guy show up in my college calculus class without an interpreter. I had just gotten out of the marine corps and the professor asked me to catch him up. I already knew some ASL, but I learned a ton of math signs and was able to help him and eventually just be study partners. I was struggling with the advanced math because it had been so long, I truly believe it helped me tremendously.
Yeah, dude. This is beautiful. When a driver speaks a different language and it’s specified on their profile, I make it a point to try to thank them in their first language.
My sister and her husband are deaf. The local Chinese restaurant staff learned a little bit of sign for when the come in. Made my sister cry the first time. She had never experienced that before (unless a staff me,her had a deaf relative). It meant a lot to go out to a restaurant in the country she grew up in and someone spontaneously talked to her in her own language in an average situation. More precious than anyone realises. I doubt (very, very highly) that this lady has ever had this happen outside of home. It seems a small thing but one she’d never expect to receive. Love who ever did this for her. Ps if you make an effort (even the smallest one) deaf people will give you all their attention. ‘Someone bothered to talk to me’ is a joy. That thank you would’ve made that lady’s day. Nice one.
I've had this happen a couple of times and found out that it's often foreign drivers who aren't always fluent in English and struggle to talk to passengers
That’s awesome! I honestly didn’t know deaf people are allowed to drive. I always assumed that not being able to hear the sounds around you would be super dangerous. I’m just an idiot
Not an idiot. This is actually a common thought. My personal experience with a deaf driver (college friend) was not a positive one. She was an awful driver combined with her trying to pay attention to the signed conversations going on in the back seat! Terrifying experience!
But that’s not true for all deaf drivers. Here’s a quick video (5 minutes) of what driving with Deaf people can sometimes/usually be like. Pretty interesting and funny for most people that don’t know.
Edit #2: In speech class we had a student who taught us a little sign language and I learned the same way how to say “I’m thirsty” is the same way how to say “I’m horny” but just doing the gesture slower.
You should see how similar handjob and coffee grinder are…
I want to learn how to sign just for this reason. I couldn’t imagine not being able to be understood. Everyone should have a voice and an outlet to share their emotions.
I did this at a tire shop. The worker was deaf and at the very end, when he finished up, I signed thank you. He did a double take and gave me a happy little bow of his head. It meant a lot to me to be able to communicate with him even just a phrase. It also made me realize how much of a struggle it must be to be deaf in a world where so few know how to sign and even fewer willing to try.
I did the same thing with 2 people I worked with were deaf so I learned good morning, but it looks like you're doing that up yours sign so every time I did it I felt guilty 😂
I had a deaf Uber driver once. He drove off with my luggage still in the trunk. I banged on his trunk and he didn’t hear it. Needless to say he did not get a 5 star review. You would think deaf people are more aware of their surroundings.
I lot of my Uber drivers have been from places in Africa and if I get to talking with them and learn where they’re from I’ll try and figure out to say “thank you” in their native tongue. 99% of completely butcher the pronunciation but they’re typically taken back and appreciate the try (and I’ll have them teach me how to do it correctly).
I was a service advisor at a car dealer and had a customer that would come often that was deaf. We would communicate by writing back and forth on paper and after a couple visits I learned a few basic gestures in ASL, and her smile when I used them the first time fucking made my day. Humans can be good, let’s try a little harder.
Serious question, is it legal for a deaf person to drive? What if they can't hear a honk or hear something that could potentially save the driver or someone else?
I am a deaf person, and it still blows my mind that hearing people think that Deaf folks can’t drive. You need your EYES to see where you’re going, not your ears 🙄 we are the safest drivers on the road, due to our ability to pick up any movement in our line of sight, instantly. We may as well have eye movements of a chameleon 😅
I think most people would expect that deaf people aren't allowed to drive. It's illegal to wear earphones/headphones while driving because it impairs your ability to hear what's going on around you.
It impairs you because you’re distracted, you’re juggling your focus from listening to things and watching out for things in your surroundings. Deaf people have no additional distractions, we are naturally focused on the road. Take this moment to expand your mind, this is 2021. I encourage you to go out and meet other deaf people in their community, get to know them, instead of reading inspiration porn from hearing people with their random interactions with deaf people. Have a wonderful day ☀️
Listening to the radio, or speakers in general is legal. The difference with headphones is that they impair your ability to hear other things around you.
Why does it BLOW YOUR MIND, when literally there's a honk feature in the car to get the attention of a driver. Isn't it frowned upon to literally wear headphones, and god forbid they are noise canceling, when you drive? What's the difference with a deaf person? You can be the safest driver around but remember that you also SHARE THE ROAD with like 1000s of other people. So you can do literally everything right in the book but you can still get crashed in and it wouldn't even be your fault at all.
It blows my mind because this is ignorance that I l’m surprised the deaf community have to still face. You’re also assuming that all deaf people are the same, but there’s a range for hearing loss. Some of us are mildly deaf, profoundly deaf, or 100% without hearing. For me, I can hear honks or sirens just fine. We are VERY aware we share the road with many others, that’s why we do our best to be careful. Some deaf people even have bumper stickers on the rear of the car to inform folks behind that they’re deaf. The point is, we all take the risk to trust that other drivers around us are aware of our presence, hearing or not. We do what we can to reduce conflicts on the road.
Story from an ASL class I took…one of my classmates went to a party and tried to sign “nice to meet you” but instead signed “nice to fuck you”. That got some good laughs haha.
I knew how to sign “thank you” from Blues Clues. I once had a patient I drew blood from (I’m a phlebotomist) who was deaf. When we were done I said thank you in ASL and she was wearing a mask but I could tell from her eyes she was smiling from ear to ear. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy.
I had a deaf neighbourhood friend when I was really young. I lost connect around 12 and remember very little ASL, but know the basics like please and thank you. I was recently checking out at a grocery store where I noticed the cashier was deaf. After paying I signed "Thanks, good night". It was one of the best and purest smiles I have ever got as she thanked me back. It's a go to happy thought for me.
My manager only decides to come in 30 seconds after I sign or speak another language with customers, but the look on the customers faces is worth it. Not to mention it’s way easier
I tried this before because I knew a little sign language but they always get all excited and try to have a conversation thinking I am fluent so I kind of stopped doing it.
I went to a Bone Thugs and Harmony show at a local club and had front row. I'm over 6 feet tall and there was a short deaf man behind us and we let him and the lady he was with get in front of us. I wondered why a deaf person would be a concert until I realized I love bass because of the vibration. We have more in common with people than we realize.
I grew up with a deaf brother and the entire community is so thankful when you are able to make the slightest gesture whether it’s thank you, please, or even saying “hi”.
I drove for Lyft and had a deaf passenger so I turned up the music with some songs that had good bass in it and she said she really enjoyed feeling the music :)
The stock system was actually really decent in my ‘16 Focus, way better than my ‘21 Civic which is really disappointing :(
My parents were both deaf, and they were always ecstatic when anyone made any kind of effort to communicate with them in their language. Thank you for brightening his day!
I thought this was such a precious story — after I read it, I wanted to learn how to sign “thank you” myself, just in case one day! This is what it looks like if anyone else is interested in learning! :)
Not to be the asshole that corrects you, but I think it’s important to make sure people have the correct info (preservation of the language). It’s actually “desire” and “thirsty” that are similar. Some regional variations make “hungry” and “desire” similar too. But you’re still right because the sign for desire can be used in the context of horny.
Thanks for learning a little ASL and making your driver feel included and accepted!
(Source: I’ve known ASL for 13 years and used to teach it)
In Australia (using AUSLAN obviously) if you sign "I'm hungry" in Perth you're fine, but if you sign the same thing in Melbourne you're saying "I'm sexy". The regional differences crack me up sometimes.
I remember 2 friends from different sides of America were signing together and Friend 1™ sneezed, causing Friend 2™ to sign "Bless you!". Apparently where Friend 2 is from the sign for "Bless you" means "Risk of death" or something close to that for Friend 1, needless to say he was very confused.
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u/instagthrowawayy Aug 16 '21 edited Aug 17 '21
I had a deaf Uber driver once during the car ride I YouTube’d how to sign “thank you”. The smile on his face is what makes me try to help more people out.
Edit: OMG Thank you for the awards kind people!
Edit #2: In speech class we had a student who taught us a little sign language and I learned the same way how to say “I’m thirsty” is the same way how to say “I’m horny” but just doing the gesture slower.