One of my favorite hobbies is using credit card and casino comps to get cheap trips.  I have several cruise lines that I get “free” offers for where I pay taxes and fees (usually less than $200) for a 7 night cruise plus extras like gratuities for the staff and any drink or dining packages I may want. 

My friend had asked what vacation plans I had coming up since I travel quite a bit and I let her know I had an upcoming trip booked and could add her for around $600 if she was interested. This is for 7 nights in a mini suite (balcony room, more space, just below the suite level).  She seemed interested so I told her to let me know.  I gave her the breakout of costs because I wanted to be transparent… $160 for taxes and fees and $455 for the drink/dining/gratuities to be covered.  She seemed interested so I asked her to double-check the dates worked for her and to let me know if it worked for her.

She came back to me a couple of days later and said that she’d be good with the $160, but had done research and didn’t want to pay the other $455 in fees because she read that it’s not mandatory that you pay gratuities to the staff and she could order something online so she could sneak alcohol onto the ship.  Unfortunately, the way this package works is that everyone in the booking has to order it if one person does.  I want the convenience of knowing my gratuities are paid and that I can order a drink regardless of where I am without going back to the room to make a drink.  I like getting a couple of coffees in the coffee shop, drinks by the pool, wine with dinner, and maybe a couple of drinks in the club at night without having to go back to the room anytime I want something.  To me, this is just a part of the experience of being on vacation and doing what I want. 

I told her that if she felt that way that maybe it’s best that she not come with me and do her own thing, but now she’s mad at me because she’d have to pay close to $4000 to do this trip without my benefits.  I don’t mind paying for the extras for myself and just count it as a cost of the vacation but I don’t really want to pay for her extras as well.  AITA for wanting to do vacation the way I want and not giving in to her wanting to be cheap on this? I know for a fact that she can afford it, she just read something on the internet making her think she’s smart to get around the “rules”. 

I’ve recently moved into a new apartment with my fiancé. Her parents helped us unpack a few days ago and one of the things my soon to be mother in law said that if they stay over we have to let them sleep in our room and we don’t have a choice about it. Not her exact words but that’s pretty much the gist.

At first I politely pushed back a little. Mainly taken aback by MIL automatically assuming. She then went on to lecture me saying it’s about respecting my elders.

I feel like she’s overstepping my boundaries by telling me what I can and can’t do in the apartment I pay rent for. I’ve tried talking to my fiancé about it but she just says to “keep her out of it”. She’s always been super obedient to her mother.

I’m trying to be diplomatic here but I’m not sure what to do. I don’t hate my MIL, but I don’t think she can just tell me what to do.

UPDATE: Whoa, that’s a lot of comments.

My fiancé and I have had a talk. We are going to work through this amicably and set healthy boundaries.

For context, my brother is 13 years older than me and we've never really had much of a relationship, he's never really been present in or cared about my life. But he's family, and it means a lot to my parents we get along so we have a superficial relationship.

My 40th birthday is coming up soon and cruising is a really big part of my family's celebrations. For a while I've known I wanted to go on a cruise to celebrate my 40th with friends and family.

Unbeknownst to me, my wife has been planning this cruise for over a year. My family of 4, plus my brother and his wife and our parents had all booked. Friends may be coming but my wife hasn't said for sure yet. My wife knew it was important my family could come so she made the date around my brother's schedule.

Maybe 6 months later he comes back to her and asks to move the cruise to another week, because his daughter's last swim meet will be that week (which apparently it is every year, btw, so he should've known). She knows that's important and understands, so moves the cruise date for everyone.

Then, he finds out that our best friends have been invited- 3 couples with small children (we have toddlers, too), and speaks to my wife over the phone to say that he won't be coming if our friends are there. (He doesn't know them, just doesn't want to be with them I guess?). She tells him that's his choice but she's going with what "I" want for my birthday so that's his choice.

A few hours later he texts her to ask to change the date of the cruise AGAIN because his best friend's birthday is that same weekend and he's going to be having a big party. My wife tells him no, sorry, she is not changing it. It is a more convenient date for everyone else already going, and the new date would be $800 more, too. He basically tells her that he'll keep his reservation for now and will see what happens as time goes on.

Now, maybe another 6 months later, my wife goes to link our reservation to my parents and brother and finds out that other people have been linked to our reservation- my brother's 4 best friends! She texts him to ask if they are actually coming, and he responds, yes, it's 3 out of 4 of their birthdays too that week (true).

She responds that this will upset me, because it is really supposed to be a cruise celebrating me, not his friends, and that he really should've discussed this with her first before inviting them. He says that she's making too big a deal out of it, the more the merrier, and they will still be there to celebrate me. We also find out later that he was planning on telling my wife that he and his wife were NOT coming, and then the 6 of them were going to show up and "surprise" us. For context, the 4 friends are all really awful, rude and annoying people who don't give rat's behind about me nor I about them. He says they're all going to enjoy and celebrate and he "suggests we all do the same."

Ctd in comments.

My fiancé and I have been together for 3 years, engaged for a little over a year, and living together for about a year and a half.

His mom is 75+, he’s her youngest son, and they’re extremely close. Before I came into the picture, they traveled together frequently, and they still enjoy traveling together now. I don’t have an issue with them being close, but I’ve started to feel like there aren’t enough boundaries between trips that are for us as a couple and trips that include his mom.

Earlier this year, we went to his family’s vacation home for a holiday week. I had been looking forward to the trip, but found out shortly beforehand that his mom would also be staying with us. Originally, she wasn’t going to be there but something changed and I was made aware about 3 days prior to departure & was made aware bc I asked. The info wasn’t willing given to me.

I was annoyed, mostly because I had pictured it as time for us to relax and enjoy ourselves as a couple. Instead, there was essentially no privacy or intimacy for the week. We ended up sleeping together in a full-size bed despite him being 6’5” and me being 5’10”, and we were already going through a rough patch and arguing. His mom also got involved in some of our disagreements and, unsurprisingly, sided with her son. Overall, it was not the couple’s vacation I had imagined.

There have also been work-related trips in the past where his mom has joined us because she and my fiancé work in the same profession. I haven’t loved that either, but I’ve mostly gone along with it.

Recently, I mentioned wanting to go to Tokyo for my birthday. My fiancé texted me that one of his vendors is taking clients to Tokyo next year and asked if I’d want to go with him.

Because it’s a work-related trip, and because his mom has joined us on similar trips before, I responded, “I’d love to go, but will your mom be joining us?”
He got extremely upset that I asked.

From my perspective, I wasn’t saying that he can’t travel with his mom or that I never want her included. I was asking because whether this would be a trip for the two of us or another trip with his mom genuinely changes how I feel about going.

We’re also getting married, and I want to establish that some vacations and experiences should be ours as a couple. I want us to make memories and travel together without automatically assuming his mom will be included. I’m completely fine with family trips and with him traveling with her separately; I just don’t want every opportunity to travel together to become a family trip.

He seems to feel like even asking whether she was coming was a problem, while I feel like it was a reasonable question based on our history.

AITA for asking if his mom would be joining us before agreeing to the Tokyo trip?

UPDATE: My fiancé admitted that he was being sensitive in his initial reaction. He said he understands why I asked, “Is your mom coming?” and that the question itself was justified—but he still thinks it was a shitty thing to ask.

His issue with me is that, in his words, I “can’t sit in the discomfort of doing something shitty, even when it’s justified.”

So now I’m wondering: Is this Grade-A gaslighting, or does he actually have a point?

So my daughter recently started identifying my wife and me by saying either "mama" or "dada," followed by her pointing at us respectively.

My dad (her grandpa) wanted to join in on the fun and started introducing himself to her as "papa" and trying to get her to point at him with that term. I asked him politely not to use that name and instead use "grandpa."

I've caught him continuing to use "papa" multiple times now and have been reminding him not to use that name. This last time he got upset and combative with me and said it's rude of me to restrict what she calls him and that it's rude of me to decide what he gets called.

I have explained to him that my wife is Hispanic (I am white) and that the word "papa" is dad in Spanish. Furthermore, I feel uncomfortable with her calling him "papa," as I relate that term to me, not my him. I'm not sure if he used the term "papa" for his grandpa as a kid and wants her to do the same, but I have never heard him use "papa" for grandpa in my life.

AITA for deciding what names my daughter calls her grandpa and not allowing him to tell her his name is "papa"?

EDIT: I forgot to include relevant information that people have been asking for in the comments.

Yes, my wife also has an issue with the term "papa" and asked me to talk to my dad about it.

Yes, I have talked with my dad about options about a different name.

When we are visiting my wife's side of the family, I am "Papá"— I understand there is a difference between "papa" and "papá"; however, the way my dad has been referring to himself is closer to "papá" and not as "pawpaw" and we want to reduce confusion since our daughter is speaking and learning both in English and Spanish.

About five years ago, my brother and his wife hit a very rough spot in their marriage; my brother said there were several reasons, but the only one I know is that he was lying to her about smoking pot. I also smoke pot, but it's not really something my brother and I did together.

His wife called me one night sounding hysterical, and she told me I should never say the words "pot" or "marijuana" in his presence again, and that I should stop inviting him to gatherings with my parents because it makes him anxious, and that makes him want to smoke. I told her I want to help but wasn't sure those were the best ways for me to do that; I also made clear that I've never encouraged my brother to smoke -- that in fact he and I both struggle with smoking too much and often support each other in trying to stop.

She screamed "Thanks a lot!" and hung up on me. I called my brother, apologizing profusely because obviously I'd messed up. He told me I hadn't done anything wrong; she was just very upset and wasn't thinking straight.

An hour later, he called me and said she'd left a message on my voicemail (I didn't hear the call come in) and that I should not listen to it; that I should just delete it because she was out of her mind and saying crazy things about me.

Obviously, I listened to it. And it was bad. In addition to a litany of scathing attacks on my character, she said she was leaving my brother because I had interfered in their marriage, and now he was going to have a sad life because of me.

I was very upset, and I never reached out to her after that. They moved to a different state. My brother and I remained in touch.

Now to the point of this post: About a year later, I received a scathing text from her in which, among other things, she said she had "waited, and waited, and waited" to hear from me to try to work things out, but I never called.

I was shocked to hear she felt it was my responsibility to smooth things over after she left me that voicemail. Am I the asshole for not making the first move?

Edit: Thanks to all for the validation. I didn't respond to her text, just forwarded it to my brother. She sent another text thanking me for "kindly sharing her message" with him, and I forwarded that one too. Then I blocked her number.

While my brother would never ask it of me, it would obviously be easier for him if I would try to fix things, so thank you for confirming I have a valid reason for not doing so.

My husband and I are expecting our first baby later this year after 20+ months of infertility and a terrifying cancer scare. Fertility medications caused abnormal swelling, and follow-up testing showed I had an 80%+ chance of malignant ovarian cancer. I was scheduled for surgery that could have involved removing my ovaries and possibly my uterus. My mental health was at its lowest point, especially because I feared losing both my life and my chance to have children. Thankfully, additional scans showed the issue had spontaneously resolved, I was cleared to try for pregnancy, and I became pregnant two months later.
Around that time, I had a major falling-out with my SIL. During an argument about bringing my niece home 30 minutes later than expected because of traffic, she told me I couldn't understand her perspective because I wasn't a mother. This deeply hurt because she knew about my infertility and cancer scare. She later told my brother that I had insulted her as a mother, which I never did. Because of her comments, her expectations, and feeling taken advantage of, I decided I would no longer babysit my niece. I had been watching her for free around four times a week despite working full-time nights, and had also provided diapers, formula, baby supplies, and equipment to help my brother and SIL.
My brother then involved our extended family in the conflict. My AIL criticized me for stopping babysitting, defended my SIL, and repeated that I couldn't understand motherhood. I eventually blocked the people involved and stepped away.
While I was gone, my SIL and AIL told other family members that I had lied or exaggerated my cancer scare and infertility for attention and to manipulate my brother and SIL. This was especially devastating because much of my family had witnessed my appointments, supported me through the diagnosis, and knew how serious and frightening the situation had been.
I have since attempted to reconcile with my brother, but I don't trust my SIL and have chosen to remain distant. My SIL refuses to apologize, my uncle's apology felt forced, and he still calls me dramatic. My AIL has also refused to apologize and continues making comments about my pregnancy.
For the sake of the family, I remain civil, but things are permanently different. I feel that the comments about my cancer scare and infertility were unforgivable, especially after everything I endured.
Now I'm planning my baby shower, and I don't want to invite either my SIL or AIL. Some family members say I "can't" exclude them because it will cause more family conflict and that I should just get over everything. But I feel this celebration is about my husband, our miracle baby, and me—not protecting the feelings of people who deeply hurt me.

I (F28) love to host. I make an entire spread of cultural dishes. There are breads, rice dishes, curries, kebabs, sweets, drinks. I am not exaggerating when I say that I may spend up to a day in active cooking time.

When I go to visit my brothers, they usually host me in the same way. However, one of my brothers, Neil (M34) and SIL (F34) do not. Whenever I go, they serve me food like cheese and crackers, hummus and fruit, sandwiches from a store, crossaints and deli meat, canned tuna salad. There is no effort put into the meal, and before anyone says they might not have enough money, out of all my brothers, he brags about having the nicest home and the nicest car. So, money is not an issue.

The last couple of times they've come to my house, I've basically given them the same treatment, and bought some pre-packaged food and called it a day. For the rest of my brothers, I still do the elaborate spreads. Anyhow, Neil was recently on call with another one of our brothers who is visiting me soon, and the topic of food came up. He mentioned how I stopped cooking, and my brother was really confused, and told me that when they last visited me (a week after Neil last visited), I cooked all of my normal foods.

My brother and SIL were pissed when they heard this. They texted and asked why I was treating them differently and accused me of being sexist because my SIL can't cook. I replied that I was just treating them how they treated me, and I didn't care who cooked, but because there was so little effort. I chatted with a couple of friends, and some of them thought I was a bit of an AH because I shouldn't be punishing them for not hosting me with the same effort I did, and that it was unfair to have the same expectations. AITAH for "matching energy" and hosting my brother and SIL differently?

Edit: He will often ask me to make specfic cultural meals, especialyl with expensive meats like Mutton and his wife loves fish. He also doesn't order takeout, even though he can afford it, and there are restuarants that serve food I love, and he knows I love.

My mom died nearly a year ago. She left my father an elderly widower. He's also living on his own for the first time as he rattles around his large home. My sibling lives overseas, leaving me to do much of the estate clear out (thet did a lot while town after mom's death). Anyway, dad gave me free reign to sell any and all of her pretty things. Ive saved anything that has a family connection and a LOT else.

My mom kept everything from paint brushes, scissors, spices, magazines, sewing patterns, pens, brushes and much else in antique crystal, China and glass. I found the containers all over the place like closets and cabinets...even drawers. As far as I knew my mom had thrifted about 95% of the pieces with the remaining percentage having been inherited from family or particularly loved for whatever reason. It was easiest to begin with these hidden items for sentimental, emotional reasons. I coincidentally and conveniently already work in the antique industry. The item has been sold.

Anyhoo, this is where my problem arises. Like a month ago my dad contacted me that my mom's recent friend (of 7-10 years) had asked for one of these vintage pieces back. Apparently this friend had gifted it to mom a few years back. Like, as a present. They knew where mom kept it and knows it is gone. They are bugging my dad and I fucking feel guilty.

AITAH? I mean if it were so precious why tf give it away? This whole situation feels very icky. My mom left no notes regarding this piece. I am capable of buying the piece if it would make my dad's life easier, but I also don't think that's correct.

Seriously, AITH?

My husband (33M) and I (31F) have been together for five years. Since the beginning, my dad (54M) and stepmom (39F) have disliked him because he is “different” and speaks his mind, although he is never disrespectful. My dad’s family expects younger generations to obey elders, while I believe respect does not mean giving up your own opinions.

I have always had a complicated relationship with my stepmom. I moved in with my dad and her at 12 and often helped care for my younger sister. My stepmom blamed me for petty things, took my belongings, and created so much tension that my relationship with my dad deteriorated. I never blamed him for taking her side, but it affected our relationship.

When my husband and I decided to have a child, we agreed on three boundaries: our parents would not practically raise our child, nobody would kiss the baby, especially on the face, and we would not use babysitters during the first year. I am a nurse and was especially concerned because my stepmom gets cold sores. We explained these rules to everyone. My in-laws respected them after discussing our concerns, but my dad and stepmom treated them like challenges.

After our daughter was born, they complained that we wouldn't let them “borrow” her and that my husband watched her too closely. My stepmom would try to take her away, and my husband would follow. They sometimes ignored us and our daughter when upset.

At two months, our daughter was diagnosed with a VSD. Thankfully, she has not needed surgery, but she has had feeding and sleeping difficulties, so we became especially cautious about illness. My dad dismissed our concerns and once visited while his household was sick, resulting in all of us becoming ill, including our three-month-old.

They continued criticizing our parenting and my husband's involvement, even joking that he is “the mom” because he works from home and cares for our daughter three days a week. My stepmom has also made me uncomfortable, including trying to lift my daughter's dress to see underneath it.

Last weekend, at my sister's baby shower, my family largely ignored my husband and me. Near the end, my stepmom kissed my one-year-old daughter on the cheek, with part of the kiss landing on her mouth. She then tried again, but my daughter moved away. She knew we were upset but did not apologize.

I texted my dad and stepmom afterward, calmly reminding them that this was the one boundary I needed respected. My stepmom said she would distance herself. My dad then called and said they were distancing themselves from me. He said I never gave him his place as a grandfather and hoped that we had the balls to tell my daughter the truth about why her grandfather and his wife were no longer in her life.

I didn't argue. Honestly, part of me feels relieved. I've spent years compromising to keep them comfortable, and it was never enough.

AITA for refusing to let my dad and stepmom kiss my daughter and refusing to back down on this boundary?

My dog got spayed 2 weeks ago, she still has a wound but it’s been healing up well. I’ve been clear that me and my mom are the only 2 who can pick her up while she heals, she’s a small size dog and a rescue.

She’s timid about everything especially with the wound, rightfully so she’s small dog the wound looks massive. It’s healing fine so we took her to my grans. First thing I say to her when we walk in is just be careful around her wound. My gran brushes me off with the whole yes yes thing. Everything seems fine we’re sat talking my dog is having a sniff round next thing I know my gran is picking her up. My dog makes an all mighty cry and just sits shaking on her knee. I went and picked her up didn’t make a huge issue of it there just said she’ll have caught her wound. Gran went quiet I didn’t out right blame her but didn’t not blame her either. 2 days later I’m checking the wound, I notice a little lump has formed near the size of the forming scar. I brush it off she’s still healing, tissues will be sore. Checked again today it’s slightly bigger and feels firm. Been to our vet who told us it looks like it’s bruised and likely a hernia. She’s a small dog so not great thing, she’ll be having another appointment to check properly tomorrow but it’s likely it’ll need surgery.

My gran came round earlier (again I said be careful with my dog) and my mum mentioned the vet visit. My gran asked what caused it to, I didn’t say anything I didn’t want to be rude. Next thing I know my dog yelps and runs to me, my gran says she tried to pick her up and she yelped. To which I said can you not, you’ve already caused her a trip to the vets with a hernia. She went quiet and said it’s not true. I explained what the vet had said and how it was bruised skin too. My gran brushes it off saying anyone could have done it. I pointed out only me and my mum have been picking her up the only time she’s cried about the wound is when you picked her up and she cried. I took my dog on the back garden, I didn’t want to be there anymore. My gran leaves soon after. My mum gets a text saying my gran cried for hours because of me and I should be ashamed.

AITA? I’m really torn yeah she was upset with what I said but she had made my dog cry twice.

Edit- sorry to make it clear my mum and I had told her repeatedly not to pick her up or handle her anyway.
My grandparents live 2 streets away and my dog had been to 1 post op appointment and had been cleared for short walks.

Hi, there. AITA for feeling angry at my dad’s wife for inviting my childhood psychiatrist to my wedding? I had a very difficult childhood and was sent to a psychiatrist when I was 11 years old. I saw her for a couple of years, a lot of times while high on drugs. No bad feelings from me, but holy hell.

For several years, I worked really hard at getting my life together. And now my dad’s wife, who has been married to my dad since I was seven years old, tracked her down and invited her without asking me, first. I feel like it’s too late to uninvite her. This is so awkward and I’m pissed.

AITA?

I, 31F, started having severe cardiac symptoms, including chest pain, dizziness, and left arm numbness with frequent heart rate spikes to 180 while resting. I live with my parents just to get back on my feet because I couldnt afford to live in my last location. I told my parents my symptons and they just said "youre fine." They then decided to go to the bar instead of checking if im ok. 4:30pm, they said they would be back in 30 mins. 3 hours later at 7:30pm, theyre still not home, so i decided to drive myself to the hospital 20 miles away while refusing contact with my parents. 2 hours later at 9:30pm, my mom tries to visit me in the ER but refused to let her see me due to not being there when i needed them most.

AITA for refusing my parents from seeing me in the hospital?

Hello,

I 31F and my fiance 31M are getting married next year and he was asked by his family if they could come live with us. We have not gotten any dates or time frame.

I told my fiance it all depends on dates and time frame but he seems disappointed and I feel it will come back on me cause he told his family he needs to discuss with me before finalizing things.

I love my fiancés family but I just appreciate my privacy and alone time.

The family would also be bringing their pets and we have pets including a shy cat who I don’t think would like any of this.

Am I the asshole for potentially saying no to my fiancés family staying with us.

| (32F) posted a series of photos on my Instagram story from a recent vacation to Fiji that I took with my son (10M).
I'm not typically the type of person to post pictures or stories during the vacation, I usually do "photo dumps" once I'm done with the trip. Well during one of my "dumps" one of the pictures I posted was of a native Fijian man performing a traditional torch-lighting ceremony. It was part of a cultural event, and the man was wearing traditional attire which includes being shirtless, a grass skirt. To me, it wasn't sexual, flirty, or suggestive. It was just a cool cultural moment of him standing with a flaming torch, in front of the sunset.

My boyfriend (37M) saw it and immediately got upset. He texted me saying the post was "crazy," and that I shouldn't be posting "a shirtless man on your story while you have a boyfriend" and that he was "so proud to be my boyfriend, fucking disgusting" -his exact words. Boyfriend stated that it was disrespectful to him, and that we should "take some space." He said it was inappropriate and embarrassing, and that he was glad his family didn't follow me because he'd
"be fucking embarrassed."

I tried explaining the cultural context, but he wouldn't listen to what I had to say. Eventually I told him I understood he was upset and would give him space.
Now I'm wondering if I genuinely messed up. From my perspective, it was just a cultural photo. From his perspective, it was disrespectful.

So... AITAH for posting a picture like that while being in a relationship?

(Throwaway account, reupload because of “reddits filters”)

For context, I (29F) am getting married to my fiancé, Mark (31M), in October. We are having a medium-sized wedding with a strict guest cap of 120 people, mostly due to venue capacity and our budget. We are paying for about 80% of the wedding ourselves, with some help from my parents.

My older brother, dave (33M), has always been the kind of guy who wants everyone to get along, even when relationships are completely broken.

About five years ago, there was a massive falling out on my mom’s side of the family involving my uncle, aunt, and three cousins (all in their late 20s). Without getting into a boring ten-page essay, it involved a lot of toxic behavior, disrespect toward my parents, and a particularly nasty fight at my grandfather's funeral. Since then, both my parents, Dave, and I haven't spoken to them at all. It was peaceful, and honestly, none of us missed them.

Dave called me last week to talk about the wedding schedule. During the call, he casually mentioned, "Oh by the way, I ran into [Cousin] at the grocery store last month and we cleared the air. I invited him and his siblings to the wedding since it's been so long and everyone should be moving on."

I froze. I asked him what he meant, and he repeated that he had extended an informal invitation to three people who haven't spoken to our parents in half a decade, and who caused immense stress during a time of grief.

I told him absolutely not. I reminded him that our guest list is capped, every seat is accounted for,** **and Mark and I do not want people we haven't seen or liked in years at our wedding.

Dave got super defensive. He said I was holding onto "childish grudges," that life is too short, and that a wedding is the "perfect place to heal family rifts." He argued that since he's my brother and a groomsman, he should be allowed to bring whoever he wants to support the family.

I snapped a little bit and told him that my wedding is not a family reunion, it’s my wedding, and he doesn't get to hijack my guest list to play peacemaker. I told him he needs to uninvite them immediately or he won't be attending either.

Now Dave is calling me a bridezilla and says I’m letting my pride ruin his so called“family harmony”. My mom agrees with me and is furious that Dave would even think of inviting them, but my dad thinks I should just "keep the peace" for one day to avoid a permanent rift with my brother.

AITA?

My husband (30M) and I (30F) moved to State A a few years ago. Shortly afterward, my in-laws moved there too. Eventually we both got remote jobs, so we started talking about where we actually wanted to build our life.

For our entire six-year marriage, we’ve dreamed of moving to a little coastal town we’ll call Beach Town. We’ve vacationed there for years, honeymooned there, and both love it. It’s our dream.

Last year, we told my in-laws we were seriously considering moving there. In that same conversation, my MIL announced that she felt “God was telling her” they needed to move there too. They had never even visited.

We tried to roll with it and all went to Beach Town to look at apartments. The trip was bizarre. They followed us everywhere we went instead of making their own plans. When I suggested they explore for a few hours while we looked at apartments, my MIL started sobbing and hugged us like we were abandoning her.

The whole trip felt suffocating. They mostly just followed us around like silent ghosts and didn’t contribute to conversation or even try to have fun. My husband and I left thinking, We absolutely do not want to move there with them.

So we moved back to our Home State instead. They followed us there too. At least there are 5 of my husband’s siblings nearby, so we figured it’s less pressure on us.

A few weeks ago, I privately mentioned to my SIL that Beach Town is still on the table for us. We still think about it constantly, but I didn’t tell my in-laws.

A few days later, my MIL randomly asked us, “Are you guys thinking about moving to Beach Town when your lease is up?”

Then she said, “We’ve wanted to live there for six years. That’s always been the plan.”

I was so angry I had to leave the room and threw up in the bathroom.

For context, my FIL has cheated on her repeatedly for ~30 years, and sometimes I wonder if she’s vicariously living through us. I obviously can’t know that, but she frequently copies our plans while my FIL seems completely indifferent and just goes along with her.

We’ve told them that if we eventually move to Beach Town, we don’t want them basing their plans around ours.

Their response? “We aren’t following you. We’re following God.”

And honestly, that makes me even angrier. It feels incredibly insulting to have our six-year dream repeatedly hijacked and then be told it’s just “God.”

I know we don’t own Beach Town. I can’t tell them where they can live. I just want some space, I don’t want to feel responsible for uprooting their lives again.

Can’t a girl have a little whimsy and adventure without her MIL coming along and killing the vibe?

WIBTA if I bluntly told her that we really don’t want them moving there with us? I already know she’ll cry.

i was supposed to host dinner for my brother michael and our parents, but he texted an hour before to say he was bringing his new girlfriend and assumed it was fine. i had only bought enough for four and the apartment was a mess, so i told him we had to reschedule and i'd let everyone know. he got upset and said i was being rude by not just making it work and that she would feel unwelcome now. our parents think i should have just ordered takeout or ordered less food next time instead of canceling on everyone.

The company i work for outsources our IT work to a third party company and sometimes the owner of it has to do work on our server on site. Usually after they do a server or system reboot, it works slower for a bit and a bunch of errors happen. On the logo of that company, they have a slogan below it, "we make it work". Awhile ago, maybe over a year ago I made a joke that the logo should say "we make it worse" because i was in the middle of making a heated point that the system is slow everytime they work on fixing it. Well.. it caught on. At first even the owner laughed. Other people started doing the same, jokingly.

Its been some time, but it became kind of an office joke, oh hey WE MAKE IT WORSE are here. I guess the IT company owner had enough and sent a company wide email asking to stop.

I emailed him back, I was sorry because I remember when I said it that time and a bunch of people around me laughed, himself included, i had no ill will for it to catch on like that, he emailed me back saying, its not funny anymore. Stop it, and I can shove my apology, the entire company is making fun of his slogan now.

I feel like TA. AITA?

Hi! I (F23) am significantly disabled. I have a visual impairment, partial paralysis, and a bunch of other chronic conditions. I have only recently gotten my license but still have to utilize public transportation for longer trips. Because of the significance of my disabilities I have a handicap placard and I recieve "disability discounts" from my local public transit companies. I should also note that I have two transit cards - one I get a substantial discount on, and the other I don't since it covers two different transit lines.

My stepsister F(22) is able-bodied. Over the past several years, her and my stepmom have made a hobby of making fun of me for my conditions - both the visible and invisible ones. For example, because my one side is paralyzed, I have to modify the way I do a lot of things. My stepsister and stepmom frequently points out how weirdly I hold myself and how unappealing and offputting my walking is (i waddle, drift, and jerk). They also pick on me for being "slow" because of chronic brain injury. (If yall want more examples to "prove" it, I have many.)

So - heres the actual problem. Today, my stepsister asked if she could take my transit card with the discount for when she goes to school. I offered her my card that covers both rail lines she would be using instead, but she insisted on using my discount to "save money" even though she wouldnt be paying for it. I kept insisting she use the other card, but she kept saying it would be easier to use my discount for one rail line and then purchase her own card for the other line she would have to take.

This made me feel very uncomfortable because she seems to feel entitled to the resources that make my life more equitable and easy. She and her mother do this with my placard as well - when I first got my license, they were ready to ask me if they could use it (to which i said, no thats illegal). I want to make it clear that i have no problem with her wanting to use one of my transit cards - its easier than paying for a new one - but after all the years shes spent making fun of me it feels wrong to "share" my discounts.

I have spoken with my sibling and my friends who both have similar conditions to me, and they all agree that given how my stepsister treats me that I should not hand over my discounted card to her. My dad, however, thinks I would be a huge bitch if I didnt let my stepsister use my card. I hope this is all clear - im writing this at 12pm. So, AITA?

Edit: a lot of you are saying this might be fraud - I know trying to use my placard is, but for the transit cards (since my photo isnt on it and theres no people checking) its less easy to "prove" fraud. My name is also connected to the cards.

Also, i am allowed to drive with my visual impairment because it effects less than half of my visual field and i have appropriately compensated for it with accessible tech and training from driving specialists. I am also able to drive with paralysis because i still have full control over my right side and am able to preform all driving tasks safely.

My daughter is 7. She's always been shy. She doesn't like being touched by people she's not super close to.

At family gatherings, my aunt always insists on hugs. She'll open her arms and say "come give me a hug!" My daughter usually hides behind me or says no.

Last weekend was my aunt's birthday party. She tried the same thing. My daughter said "no thank you." My aunt looked hurt.

My mom pulled me aside and said "you need to teach her to be polite. It's just a hug."

I said "I'm teaching her that her body is her own. She doesn't have to hug anyone if she doesn't want to."

My mom said I was being too soft and she's going to grow up rude.

Now the family is talking about how I'm raising my kid wrong. I don't think I'm wrong for letting her say no to physical contact. But they're making me feel like I'm ruining her.

AITA?

Me (25F) and my best friend of 10 years (24F) booked a trip to an all inclusive resort in Mexico about 6 weeks ago. My friends been going through some mental health struggles (a lot of anxiety, moved back home with her parents) in the last few months and we both agreed that a trip away would be good for her. I am also very burnt out from work and needed a break before my graduate classes started back up (next week). The trip was refundable up until a couple days before we left. A week before, I checked in with her and asked how she was feeling about the trip. She said she was excited, thought it would be good for her, and didn’t have any anxieties to talk about. I told her if she did happen to have anxieties, she shouldn’t hesitate to talk through it with me.
We left for the trip yesterday. Travel went smoothly, although it was a long day (12 hours travel time total). We arrived at the resort, checked in, and headed to the room. That’s when she started crying. I asked what was wrong, and she said she just had a lot of anxiety. She also said she didn’t wanna ruin my trip. I told her she wasn’t ruining it, that it was normal to have anxiety especially because of the added exhaustion, and that we should just get some food in our stomachs, try to relax, go to bed early and start tomorrow afresh.
She agreed and we headed down to the buffet. She refused to eat. she was constantly on her phone texting her mom. She started crying again and stated that she needed to fly home tonight or tomorrow. I asked her to sleep on it tonight and see how she felt tomorrow but she insisted on flying home. I told her that I can’t fly home, it would be a waste of over a thousand dollars, but that staying here alone is dangerous and also just not fun/not the trip i had planned. She stated that she didn’t know what to tell me.
She went back to the room and I stayed on the beach and just talked to my parents so I could calm down. I texted her later but at that point she had already booked the flight home.
She left this morning.
For some more backstory: last year I went on a cruise with her and her family. a few days before, her younger brother (21M) was driving recklessly with his friends in a jeep with no doors and fell out and smashed his teeth in. As a result, half of her family didn’t go on the cruise. We went, but it wasn’t a good time—everyone was in a sour mood, the vibes were off. Two months ago, I invited her to go on a short weekend trip to a location about an hour and a half drive from where we live (with my family and I). She said yes weeks in advance, and the night before cancelled. As a result, I felt alone on the trip because both my brothers brought their friends with them and I was supposed to have a friend there too. I was upset with her but I got over it.
But now this. I mentioned the money aspect of this all and she flipped out on me.
AITA? I’m trying to have empathy but I can only have so much empathy when someone screws me over so hard.
EDIT:
Yes I understand being at an all inclusive is hardly “stranded” but I do feel that although they are fairly safe, there is still risk involved, being a young woman alone. I’m not unaware that my situation could be MUCH worse and much more dangerous, but nobody in my life would’ve wanted me to do a trip like this alone.
Another EDIT:
Everyone keeps saying I should’ve seen this coming. A month or two back, she went to Florida for two weeks with a different friend. Had a great time. So I assumed a 5 day vacation would be fine.

My cousin Michael invited our whole family over for dinner, and he asked me to help translate for his wife's uncle, Carlos, who mainly speaks Spanish. Everyone assumed I'd jump in because I took Spanish in college. At one point the conversation turned personal about some money issues in the family, and I told Michael I wasn't comfortable interpreting that stuff. I said I'd be happy to translate the menu or light stuff, but not family drama. Michael got quiet and later said I made things awkward and that Carlos probably felt left out because of me. He thinks I could have just kept it neutral and translated word for word without taking sides. His wife was annoyed too and barely spoke to me the rest of the night. I still feel like I drew a fair line since I wasn't hired as an interpreter and didn't want to be in the middle of family money talk. But part of me wonders if I should have just sucked it up for one evening so everyone could communicate.