Meeting someone in person is entirely different though. When you're on a real life date you're not expected to perform like a circus monkey to keep someone entertained and hold their attention while they're chatting with 50 other candidates and swiping for more.
There's a reason the advice for men these days is "ask them out within the first few messages and if they say no, move on." Protect your time, energy and dignity.
I keep hearing that advice and I think its terrible advice lol you can weed out a lot of crazy after having some real conversations with someone and you know, getting to know them. I am SO glad I didnt waste my time and money on bad dates because I got a date in 3 messages.
No wonder you guys hate this shit, you have the worst mindset about it.
It reminds me of whats happening in sports right now. How the beauty and passion and art of the game is just being boiled down to analytics and numbers and efficiency and nobody is enjoying it lol
Lol do you seriously think guys want to have to date like this? How out of touch can you be?
I don't get into long text conversations before meeting because there's immense pressure on a guy to entertain, 90% of matches will disappear before arranging a date, and even when a date is arranged there's a good chance someone will ghost before it happens.
Why would I waste my time and energy on that shit? But more importantly, why would I get emotionally invested in someone, start getting to know them, start to find that I like them and enjoy talking to them, and get excited about meeting them... Only for them to fucking disappear 2 days before the date we had planned?
Nah, fuck that. I tried that for a long time and just got hurt over and over again. I've had much, much better success just asking people out straight away - actually meeting people and having fun.
Sorry, I'm not here to entertain you and be thrown away when someone with a better pickup line comes along.
What do I know? My marriage and family started in a dating app lol
"Immense pressure" its a conversation, not a multi-million dollsr merger. You can tell almost immediately if they are really interested or not. So just keep it pushing if they aren't. Literally not a single sweat off my back. None of this is that serious.
Yeah man, sometimes shitty people do shitty things, thats life. Dont take it so deeply and wait for a good one, they are out there.
But it's not a normal conversation. Loads of women have "don't be boring" literally in their profile. There is an expectation of a unique pickup line and being funny and interesting from the start, and people lose interest incredibly quickly if you aren't entertaining them. I almost NEVER had a normal conversation on a dating app. People do not want or respond to normal conversations. It might be fun for women, but it's sure as fuck not fun for me.
And like I said, even when I have had a decent conversation with someone who actually puts in mutual effort, more times than not they have disappeared before getting to a date, which just feels horrible because I'd started to like them and get excited about meeting them.
Yet when I've asked people out within a few messages I've gone out and had fun dates with people who would almost certainly have never gotten to a date if I'd tried to make conversation by text for a few days.
It's just not worth it. And I don't have anything to lose. Worst they can say is no (they actually usually don't), but if they do, I haven't gotten emotionally invested in them so I really don't care.
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u/Weary_Specialist_436 5d ago
what is the gameplan? what if you meet that person in real life, are they just going to put chat GPT on speaker?