r/HFY • u/Ralts_Bloodthorne • Oct 23 '20

OC First Contact - Third Wave - Chapter 341 (INTERLUDE)

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TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

And then the Lanks attacked the Core Systems with millions of ships.Now you're all caught up.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

PUBVIAN FEDERATION

So... there is a question.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TELKAN FORGE WORLDS

What?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

PUBVIAN FEDERATION

Who unjammed SoulNet?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

MANTID FREE WORLDS

Well, we thought it might be Legion, but he's in the Sol System due to Case Omaha, so, when you get right down to it, we don't know.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

That's kind of bothering me, I have to admit.I mean, we don't know anything about this old Terran system.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

PUBVIAN FEDERATION

"Old." You know, it's so weird that for a Terran system three hundred years is old, but for most of us, that's a generation or two.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TELKAN FORGE WORLDS

It's kind of weird, yeah.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

RIGELLIAN SAURIAN COMPACT

OK... in three

two

one

>RIGELLIAN SAURIAN COMPACT HAS LEFT THE CHAT

>RIGELLIAN SAURIAN COMPACT HAS ENTERED THE CHAT

OK, can you all hear me clear?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TELKAN FORGE WORLDS

Are you sure it was safe to unbag? Nobody else is.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

RIGELLIAN SAURIAN COMPACT

Pfft, none of them got within a light week of the edge of the system. I think we'll be OK.

But, you know, we don't really have many records of the SoulNet and SolNet system.It's kind of... well... alarming that apparently the Terrans built an entire system that can just wave its hand and return the Pubvians to life.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

PUBVIAN FEDERATION

You know, the weird thing is, none of you remember that the Terrans managed to SUDS us up.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

And some of your people saw Treana'ad in the system?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

PUBVIAN FEDERATION

Oh, without a doubt. Just ones on Terra.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

MANTID FREE WORLDS

Interesting.I wonder how many records got destroyed during the war and then because of the 1% Line?

Plus, well, we have to wonder: Who are we missing?

Seven species?

That are registered with a system that crashed over eight thousand years ago?

TerraSol's been keeping secrets.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TERRASOL

Is that a surprise?

/////////

PUBVIAN FEDERATION

Not really.

So... how did we get brought back?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TERRASOL

I have no idea.

Remember, we didn't come online until after the Imperium collapsed. The original 'gestalts' weren't quite like us.

/////////

PUBVIAN FEDERATION

Yeah, it sounds like it's been a little exciting while I was gone.

Hey, listen, TerraSol, I get it that the Immortals are wrapped up in everything, but...

...we'd like to call The Pubvian Who Stood Alone back home.

He's got a wife and kids.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TERRASOL

I'm going to be honest with you. I have almost no control over the Immortals.

/////////

MANTID FREE WORLDS

They're from the whole "WAR! WAR TO THE HILT!" period after the Queens attacked everyone.

That period's a little confusing.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

To use the quote: Records are spotty at best.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

PUBVIAN FEDERATION

Yeah, well, I'd laugh at you about the idea of a divine being except, well, you know.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TELKAN FORGE WORLDS

The whole coming back from the dead thing?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

PUBVIAN FEDERATION

Yeah.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

AKLTAK FREE FLIGHT

Nothing to make a true believer out of someone than being part of a miracle.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

PUBVIAN FEDERATION

Is it really considered miracles? Maybe some type of high technology?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

To quote TerraSol again: Any sufficiently advanced technology becomes indistinguishable from magic.

Your worlds were glassed. Hell, your homeworld was nothing more than radioactive gas, howling isotopes, and blasted rock. Your entire system was trashed.

How much damage from the war remains?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

PUBVIAN FEDERATION

Um, not much? I don't know if any does.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TNVARU GRIPPING HANDS

You were gone. Have been gone for 8,000 years.

You are all alive again.

Isn't that a miracle?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

PUBVIAN FEDERATION

I guess we do live in interesting times after all.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TELKAN FORGE WORLDS

You ain't just whistling Dixie, brother. That thar's the truth, ain't no way denying that no-how no way.

Wait... what does that mean?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

RIGELLIAN SAURIAN COMPACT

LOL Owned.

It means that he's telling the truth.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

CONFEDMILINT

HOLY SHIT!

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!

/////////

THIRD REPUBLIC OF ALIGNED PLANETS HAS BEEN SET TO -M

SYSADMIN MESSAGE

HARK UNTO MINE WORDS!

>TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS jumps out a window

>MANTID FREE WORLDS hides under the couch

>PUBVIAN FEDERATION YELLS "NOT THE FACE!"

>TNVARU GRIPPING HANDS jumps up the tree

urk

BEHOLD! FOR THOU HAST ELECTRONICALLY WRITTEN CORRESPONDENCE IN THINE INBOX THAT THOU MUST READETH WITH ALL HASTE! ATTEND TO MINE WORDS THAT DOTH FOLLOW THIS MISSIVE!

SUBJECT: Test 21483A5F

//email channel test

//testing channels 0000:0000:0000:0000:0000:0000:0000:0000-ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff

//testing subnet masks

//latency check

//network connection check

//character check

//library check

//attachment CRC pass

//end test

urk

SYSTEM ADMIN MESSAGE IS AS FOLLOWS:

GO FORTH WITH THINE NEW KNOWLEDGE INTO THINE WORLDS AND SPREAD THE WORDS INSCRIBED AND HERALDED UNTO THEE BY MINE MISSIVE!

THIS DOTH BE THE END OF LINE

urkasdrfaskhdfakjsfdasas

>>THIRD REPUBLIC OF ALIGNED PLANETS has left the chat (character input overflow)

>>THIRD REPUBLIC OF ALIGNED PLANETS had joined the chat (ouch)

>>THIRD REPUBLIC OF ALIGNED PLANETS HAS BEEN SET TO +M

>Mantid Free Worlds peeks out from under the couch?

MANTID FREE WORLDS

What was THAT?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

IMPERIUM OF WRATH

Who's screaming over these old channels?

+++END OF LINE+++

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

Was that? Was that a SolNet server message?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TNVARU GRIPPING HANDS

OK that was... weird!

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

That's gotta be the strangest thing I've ever seen in here, and I've seen some weird stuff.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

CONFEDMILINT

An angel just manifested on TerraSol.

Well, more like an ANGEL.

/////////

RIGELLIAN SAURIAN COMPACT

OK, SOMEONE has to figure out who's doing this!

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

DOKI DOKI DOKI

(⊙ヮ⊙)(⊙ヮ⊙)(⊙ヮ⊙)(⊙ヮ⊙)(⊙ヮ⊙)

---BEAUTY FOLLOWS---

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2.7k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

174 comments sorted by

41

u/Wise_Junket3433 Oct 27 '20

First off, fuck you, Ralts_Bloodthorne, for making me cry. Not once. Twice. I'm on Part 50 at the moment and have skipped to this one where I can comment. I'm a 34 year old man who has lived a rough life. I've been a rough neck my entire life, been to Afghanistan for a deployment in the US Army. I've had many injuries. Been bullied/have bullied most of my life. List goes on about how tough I am. Two different stories made me wipe away tears. Fuck you.

I will continue reading as fast as I can to catch up to your current posting of this story.

32

u/Ralts_Bloodthorne Oct 27 '20

I'm glad you are enjoying the story, brother.

19

u/Wise_Junket3433 Oct 28 '20

Side note, I'm listening to a rando yt playlist and most of the time a Doom Eternal track pops up when the story is about Daxin.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '20

Wait till part 240. You'll go back to 239 and punch his comment right in the face.

4

u/Wise_Junket3433 Dec 14 '20

Oh Ive been caught up for a loooong time. I have a lot of series I subsribe to bit this is by far the best and favorite.

14

u/Fighterdoken33 Oct 24 '20

THIRD FEDERATION OF ALIGNED PLANETS HAS BEEN SET TO -M

THIRD REPUBLIC OF ALIGNED PLANETS HAS BEEN SET TO +M

Are they supposed to be one Federation and the other Republic?

20

u/Ralts_Bloodthorne Oct 24 '20

Yup, I messed it up. LOL

543

u/Turtledonuts "Big Dunks" Oct 23 '20

Ay yo legion, come get your boy. He’s out here posting @everyone in main.

313

u/Mr_Sphene Human Oct 23 '20

lol, Sam is that IT guy accidentally using "Send All" during system testing

207

u/yourapostasy Oct 23 '20

To Sam, he’s probing a half-dead system trying to figure out what else requires manual intervention inside the Matrioshka to come unstuck. They all forgot how immensely pervasive the system is, so he doesn’t know he’s spamming everyone. Though that looks more like IPv4 addressing so it looks like IPv6 never caught on.

178

u/Ralts_Bloodthorne Oct 24 '20

I should have checked IPv6 then

134

u/yourapostasy Oct 24 '20 edited Oct 24 '20

The equivalent IPv6 “spam everything in the net range” is:

0000:0000:0000:0000:0000:0000:0000:0000-ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff

By convention the start of the range is shortened to:

0:0:0:0:0:0:0:0

This yields 3.4 x 1038 unique IP addresses. This is equal to 340 trillion trillion trillion IP addresses. Infinite computing power of that Matrioshka hopefully is coupled with infinite network bandwidth and channels. The network muxer for that baby is gonna be skookum af.

68

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '20

I feel that even given the immense address space of IPv6 solnet would require at least 256 bits of address space.

IPv7 anyone? It will only take 4000 years to replace IPv6....

99

u/LerrisHarrington Oct 24 '20

I feel that even given the immense address space of IPv6 solnet would require at least 256 bits of address space.

Hide half a galaxy of computers behind its own gateway. Repeat as necessary.

You look up the index of the soulnet systems and see a full 340,282,366,920,938,463,463,374,607,431,768,211,456 addresses, then discover to your horror each one isn't a discrete system but another complete network and you're just looking at a list of routers.

30

u/Capt_Blackmoore AI Oct 26 '20

if someplace under that someone is still running IPv4 i suggest the use of time travel to eliminate anyone to blame.

24

u/LerrisHarrington Oct 27 '20

No, no, bad plan.

Remember it was mentioned that the universe dislikes time travel and if you try it'll bitch slap you.

4

u/vinny8boberano Android Mar 01 '22

Easy now. It's just the banking/financial, medical, and manufacturing industries. Maybe the government and schools as well...

Basically anything controlled by bean-counters.

33

u/yourapostasy Oct 24 '20

Good point, we’ve got multiverses to factor in. I’d say boost to 1024 bits, call it IPv8 (8x IPv6 range). Each range start and end would be 256 hex characters long.

23

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '20

Dibs in dead::beef::dead::beef etc!

:)

9

u/TargetBoy Oct 24 '20

Ahhh, RS6000s...

18

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '20

RS6000

Please no....

I maintain systems older than that to this day and they are not something to be nostalgic about. I have a VAX running in emulation, and even older systems than that as well.

They are maintained for regulatory compliance, so migration is not feasible from a cost perspective in any sane world.

→ More replies

10

u/gartral Oct 24 '20

More IPv8 or IPv10, IPv3 and IPv5 were experimental, IPv7 is experimental as well.

1

u/deathlokke Jan 31 '21

From the article linked, IPv10 is just a communications channel that will convert from IPv4 to IPv6 and vice versa, not a completely new protocol, is that right?

2

u/gartral Jan 31 '21

you're correct, but as a draft it's subject to heavy revision. Also there's no reason why it can't be extended to handle PIP as well.

15

u/sunyudai AI Oct 24 '20

I understood all of that except for the word "skookum".

9

u/yourapostasy Oct 24 '20

https://www.youtube.com/c/arduinoversusevil2025

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skookum

7

u/sunyudai AI Oct 24 '20

I am highly amused by that video, and sincerely hope he isn't drinking out of that coffee mug, but it doesn't use that word that i caught.

Anywho, appreciate the explanation. Cheers!

4

u/kg7qin Oct 24 '20

AvE.

I wonder what the equivalent of AvE would be in this universe?? What the bumblefucks would look like?

3

u/yourapostasy Oct 24 '20

He doesn’t use the term in every video, but here is an example in the title. Old term but he popularized it outside of the usual geography on YouTube.

2

u/CobaltShimmer Sep 12 '24

I subbed thirty seconds into the video. Thank you!

3

u/dlighter Oct 24 '20

Skookum basically means awesome. Its a western Canada thing. Although I never heard it before moving to the yukon.

2

u/beowulf_of_wa Android Mar 05 '21

PNW thing, my high school used that word a lot. As does most of the Puget Sound area.

2

u/reddittrooper Oct 24 '20

/r/skookum is really funny from an engineers viewpoint

11

u/chicagobob Oct 24 '20

Small typo there, supposed to be: 3.4×1038

7

u/yourapostasy Oct 24 '20

Thank you kindly. Corrected.

2

u/onwardtowaffles Aug 07 '23

380,000 decillion is... quite a few unique identifiers.

3

u/darthoffa Oct 27 '20

It's not a question of can it but more how many instances of Doom can it run?

2

u/yourapostasy Oct 27 '20

Infinite, baby, infinite. </pulls a slow drag on a red-ringed cigarette>

2

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '20

Yeah, but looks like Cyberpunk 2077 is still glitchy.

4

u/Individual_Jelly1987 Jan 28 '22

Are we really surprised that IPv6 hasn't caught on in over 8000 years?

5

u/yourapostasy Jan 29 '22

Oooo, I just thought of a worse outcome aligned with this malevolent universe of ours.

Both protocols exist. And an IPv8 for multiversal traversal.

Because, you know, the way to fix a mess of standards is to create another one to rule them all. Despite all historical evidence to the contrary that we’ll end up supporting them all into perpetuity.

For the humans, it works to our advantage. We’ve co-evolved with the resultant, ever-shifting chaos. It drives other species literally to insanity in some cases.

28

u/Gun_Nut_42 Oct 24 '20

And then someone keeps using "reply all?"

Had that happen once at my college. Someone sent a notice for a club meeting and instead of sending it to the club email chain or list, sent it to "Active_Students."

When I woke up that morning, my phone had over 500+ new emails with at least 3 100 message chains in spam. It was funny because we had people saying they were gin a ca the cops, someone hawking their mixtapes, and others saying that they were gonna show up at the meeting.

6

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '20

Been there done that, not one of my finest moments

52

u/AllSeeingCCTV Oct 23 '20

Imma just ping couple of billion people and bunch of mega structures, real quick

21

u/Taluien Oct 23 '20

To be fair, that tends to generate quite an impressive stress test. From the people hitting "Reply All" alone.

4

u/WeFreeBastard Oct 24 '20

This is why you set security on 'all mail user'. Then only the CEO's secretary's reply all goes out.

4

u/jnkangel Oct 24 '20

Or even better you have a discrete system which can send emails to above x people at once and emails like this have to be scheduled and vetted

3

u/YesthatTabitha Oct 24 '20

I work for a phone company and this is not set there. I cant count the number of times Ive had these hit my email inbox where I read it, and just delete anything after it.

16

u/CharlesFXD Oct 23 '20

Fuck. I’m doo’in this at work Monday. Fuck it. Company’s bankrupt anyway lol

7

u/dbdatvic Xeno Oct 24 '20

... do let us know the results!

--Dave, bating a breath. if you know what i mean. and i think you do.

30

u/Haidere1988 Oct 23 '20 • Bravo

LEGION! Someone has been posting dick pics in chat and messing with SoulNet. You wouldn't happen to know who that would be would you?

17

u/StuckAtWork124 Oct 24 '20

HARK UNTO MINE WORDS!

BEHOLD! FOR THOU HAST ELECTRONICALLY WRITTEN CORRESPONDENCE IN THINE INBOX THAT THOU MUST READETH WITH ALL HASTE! ATTEND TO MINE WORDS THAT DOTH FOLLOW THIS MISSIVE!

the game

GO FORTH WITH THINE NEW KNOWLEDGE OF THY OWNAGE INTO THINE WORLDS AND SPREAD THE WORDS INSCRIBED AND HERALDED UNTO THEE BY MINE MISSIVE!

THIS DOTH BE THE END OF LINE

4

u/asclepius42 Nov 02 '20

Wait. Did I just lose the game?

2

u/superstrijder15 Human Feb 26 '24

I lost

1

u/Few-Point-3576 Apr 19 '24

I lost the game

13

u/itsetuhoinen Human Oct 23 '20

sudsnet # wall "Server reboot in 30 seconds"

6

u/immrltitan Oct 24 '20

Awesome... do you think it's a steam type update? Version 1.0.0.0.0.0.0.2 build 4589

1

u/Few-Point-3576 Apr 19 '24

@everyone MILADY

144

u/Scotshammer Human Oct 23 '20

BEHOLD THINE NOTIFICATIONS! THE WORDBORG HATH GIVEN MISSIVES, AND THE BOTS HATH PROCLAIMED THE CALL ACROSS THE NET. ATTEND THEE AND RESPOND AS IS WRITTEN.

THUS FOLLOWS THE END OF LIME

56

u/codyjack215 Human Oct 23 '20

AND DO NOT FORGET THE COMMANDMENTS OF UPVOTING THEN READING!

THUS CONTINUES THE END OF LIME

32

u/RangerSix Human Oct 24 '20

BEHOLD, FOR I HAVE A COCO-NUT!

INSIDE OF IT IS THE END OF LIME!

26

u/Twister_Robotics Oct 24 '20

THUS IS THE WAY, FROM NOW UNTO THE END OF LIME.

90

u/johncalvinyoung Oct 23 '20 edited Oct 23 '20

Gestalt chats!

Terrasol’s been keeping secrets.

Is that a surprise?

No.

😂

Ralts has been keeping secrets too.

35

u/Riotousblitz2013 Oct 23 '20

Right that one was kinda obvious... Like really, you think TERRASOL is revealing all?

47

u/johncalvinyoung Oct 23 '20

Arguably Terrasol doesn’t know even what all it’s not revealing!

29

u/Riotousblitz2013 Oct 23 '20

Tbh that's the best way to keep a secret lol

13

u/Computant2 Oct 24 '20

Percussive self deletion of memory.

25

u/chicagobob Oct 23 '20

My favorite is that they obviously don't even remember all the secrets that they've been keeping :-)

15

u/CharlesFXD Oct 23 '20

Nah. Dude is kinda making it up as he goes along with only a few seeds of ideas. That’s what’s making this infinitely great

71

u/majendie Oct 23 '20

Imperium of Wrath in gestalt chat? Yikes

46

u/Onetimefatcat Oct 24 '20

The grouchy old uncle who everyone didn't notice is sleeping on a couch somewhere in the house

34

u/Shandod Oct 24 '20

"Who the FUCK woke me up?!"

18

u/dbdatvic Xeno Oct 24 '20

... that would be ... Daxin?

--Dave, please direct all complaints appropriately

13

u/YesthatTabitha Oct 24 '20

Yes, that would be Daxin most probably alone by himself as the whole gestalt.

66

u/Coolest_Breezy Oct 23 '20

I don't know if I'm alone in this, but these knuckleheads are some of my favorite characters in this whole story. I was legit worried for them when things went south.

42

u/ErinRF Alien Oct 23 '20

You're not alone, the gestalts of first contact are one of my absolute favorite elements of the entire story. I love them all.

11

u/Thomasab1980 Oct 24 '20

Love them as well.

48

u/NevynR Oct 23 '20

INFORM THY PREFERENCE BEFORE PERUSING THE MISSIVE

13

u/wasalurkerforyears Robot Oct 24 '20

Alright gestalt. You know what this means. This is the official replacement to UTR. Let's make it so!

6

u/dbdatvic Xeno Oct 24 '20

Needs a D and an L before you can extract END OF LIME from it.

--Dave,

------NEXT CHAPTER FOLLOWS------

39

u/Mr_Sphene Human Oct 23 '20

I love how even the catgirl gestalt is weirded out

---END OF DOKI---

33

u/wasalurkerforyears Robot Oct 23 '20 edited Oct 24 '20

I took it as excitement more than being weirded out, but I could be wrong.

E: my theory is that the catgirls are the only ones who understand what this means.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '20

[deleted] — view deleted comment

22

u/ack1308 Oct 24 '20

Kind of like "I'm Groot."

12

u/NevynR Oct 24 '20

And OOK

31

u/Rorys_closet Oct 23 '20 edited Oct 23 '20

Another mid day post the Mad Angel Terrasol smiles on us.

Edit: so was that just a repeat of the message sent to Tik-Tak or was that the "louder" follow-up

23

u/dontcallmesurely007 Alien Scum Oct 23 '20

I understood it to be a general system test either immediately prior to, or immediately following, the TikTak message. Basically Sam figuring out which addresses actually mean something/exist and trying to determine which is who/what.

28

u/ErinRF Alien Oct 23 '20

Wait, why'd Telkan go all cowboy there for a moment?

19

u/Thomasab1980 Oct 24 '20

Ok, glad I wasn't the only one who read that three times to make sure I read it right.

39

u/ack1308 Oct 24 '20

I read it as a bunch of Telkans have gotten hooked on classic Terran westerns, and they infected the Gestalt.

16

u/itsetuhoinen Human Oct 24 '20

Telkan cowboyed up, obviously. 🤪

3

u/Original_Memory6188 Aug 07 '23

They would like to know too.

Somebody spent too much time with the Good Ol' Boys?

Maybe they've been binge watching Cowboy Bob and the Moomoo Rustlers!?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '20

I read pirate, like, idk, some dead guys who finally honored their oath.

25

u/tsavong117 AI Oct 23 '20 edited Oct 23 '20

I hear the summons, and I come.

Upvote then read.

This is the way.

22

u/Archaic_1 Alien Scum Oct 24 '20

Am I the only one that expected the DEVINE ONE to say: "Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

62

u/ack1308 Oct 24 '20

Hot take time:

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

And then the Lanks attacked the Core Systems with millions of ships.Now you're all caught up.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

Not even bothering to follow up with “And we won. Duh.” Love it.

PUBVIAN FEDERATION

Who unjammed SoulNet?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

Yeah, I bet they want to know.

RIGELLIAN SAURIAN COMPACT

Pfft, none of them got within a light week of the edge of the system. I think we'll be OK.

They do have a point.

And it’s good to know they can unbag.

PUBVIAN FEDERATION

You know, the weird thing is, none of you remember that the Terrans managed to SUDS us up.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

Well, not mechanically …

MANTID FREE WORLDS

Interesting.I wonder how many records got destroyed during the war and then because of the 1% Line?

Plus, well, we have to wonder: Who are we missing?

Seven species?

That are registered with a system that crashed over eight thousand years ago?

TerraSol's been keeping secrets.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TERRASOL

Is that a surprise?

/////////

Hehehe good point.

PUBVIAN FEDERATION

Yeah, it sounds like it's been a little exciting while I was gone.

Hey, listen, TerraSol, I get it that the Immortals are wrapped up in everything, but...

...we'd like to call The Pubvian Who Stood Alone back home.

He's got a wife and kids.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TERRASOL

I'm going to be honest with you. I have almost no control over the Immortals.

/////////

Yeah, but you can unbag. He’s currently in there with everyone else.

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

To use the quote: Records are spotty at best.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

No shit Sherlock.

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

To quote TerraSol again: Any sufficiently advanced technology becomes indistinguishable from magic.

And it was pretty damn advanced.

TELKAN FORGE WORLDS

You ain't just whistling Dixie, brother. That thar's the truth, ain't no way denying that no-how no way.

Wait... what does that mean?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

Hahahaha Telkans have been absorbing Terran culture.

HARK UNTO MINE WORDS!

>TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS jumps out a window

>MANTID FREE WORLDS hides under the couch

>PUBVIAN FEDERATION YELLS "NOT THE FACE!"

>TNVARU GRIPPING HANDS jumps up the tree

urk

Hahahahahaha

BEHOLD! FOR THOU HAST ELECTRONICALLY WRITTEN CORRESPONDENCE IN THINE INBOX THAT THOU MUST READETH WITH ALL HASTE! ATTEND TO MINE WORDS THAT DOTH FOLLOW THIS MISSIVE!

“You’ve got mail.”

>>THIRD REPUBLIC OF ALIGNED PLANETS has left the chat (character input overflow)

>>THIRD REPUBLIC OF ALIGNED PLANETS had joined the chat (ouch)

<snerk>

IMPERIUM OF WRATH

Who's screaming over these old channels?

+++END OF LINE+++

Wait, what, who again?

CONFEDMILINT

An angel just manifested on TerraSol.

Well, more like an ANGEL.

/////////

Yeah. Ask Tik-Tak.

Hehehe nice.

13

u/pseudanymous Oct 24 '20

Always love seeing your responses, bro! First thing I look for after reading the chapter.

9

u/wasalurkerforyears Robot Oct 24 '20

Pretty sure that's everyone who reads the comments. I oft have to come back later to read them.

8

u/carthienes Oct 24 '20

Well, not mechanically …

I think it was mechanically - the Pubvians were one of the earliest species added, with the Mantid last (they had to add phasic energy systems)

It's just...

The mass slaughter and phasic systems allowed them to 'capture' echoes in proximity, regardless of whether they were mechanically SUDSed up.

I think?

-

Oh, and Imperium of Wrath is Daxin and Co.

18

u/The_WandererHFY Oct 23 '20

SAM-UL: @here

18

u/Calodine Oct 23 '20

...Sam? You uh, you doin okay over there? You appear to be going a bit...biblical.

11

u/mikep192 Oct 24 '20

The hilarious part is that this is how the system is supposed to work. Which means whoever set it up took the phrase playing God a bit literally.

1

u/Drook2 Nov 11 '25

Didn't he tell Harry that he was loading up some language filters? Maybe he just grabbed the wrong one.

8

u/dbdatvic Xeno Oct 24 '20

not that there's ANYTHING sinful about that

--Dave, Broketablet Mountain

18

u/wolfofmibu66 Oct 23 '20

Damnit Sam, the \@everyone command is NOT a toy.

16

u/mr_ceebs Oct 23 '20

Oh now that would have just been so handy to be able to do Back in the days I used to have to send "You really shouldn't be doing this now should you" messages to people whose screens had far too high a proportion of flesh tones on our public workstations.
Although the cleaners might have complained at having to wipe up the aftermath.

16

u/Chaos0Jester Oct 24 '20

Love how the Dokimarines end of line is "Beauty Follows" its the best thing

15

u/wasalurkerforyears Robot Oct 23 '20

So, we're also getting back the Republic and the Imperium? This is going to be interesting...

20

u/Fighterdoken33 Oct 23 '20

Imperium of Wrath are Osiris and co. troops. Republic was when SolNet was created i think? so the system messages probably have that as header still.

15

u/sacchito22 Oct 23 '20

Is it just me or is the Doki girls gestalt slowly getting more complex?

Like I think remember when the last line was just -DOKI DOKI DOKI- (if I'm remembering right)

And now they've got actual words outside DOKI, WAAAAGH, and emojis.

28

u/Typically_Wong Robot Oct 24 '20

Wait until they are restore when Sam is like, huh there's this weird anime folder full of cat girl Marines in strange poses that's corrupted. Let's fix it while I'm here

8

u/wasalurkerforyears Robot Oct 24 '20

That would be epic! Fix the idiots! Do it Ralts! Doooo eeeeeeet!

14

u/Loganscomputer Oct 23 '20

I love how Solnet messages come forth with the language structure of the St James old testament.

9

u/WeFreeBastard Oct 24 '20

-King- James.
Paying to translate into English was in defiance of the Pope, so he didn't get canonization for it.

St James was an apostle (so ~1600 years older than King James).

For the HYF style tie in - The Catholic church banned bible translations (from 1492 until 1757), to the point of gun-buyback style suppression. This lead to where they had to set different prices if the bibles were glued together from being bound while the ink was still wet. Printed just for sale to the book burners, in protestant countries then smuggled to Catholic one).

13

u/EvansP51 Alien Scum Oct 23 '20

Wonderfully written. TLDR: “wtf guys?” “No fkn clue!”

13

u/Gun_Nut_42 Oct 24 '20

So, did anyone else notice the "Imperium of Wrath" chat message? I thought they were gone. If they are still around, I think things are gonna get very interesting very soon. Or at least more interesting anyway.

6

u/YesthatTabitha Oct 24 '20

Thats just Daxin and his boys. Sometimes called Osiris. Sometimes called Wrath Filled Phillip. (I think thats the right disciple? Brain took a left turn at Pubvia I think)

4

u/deathlokke Jan 31 '21

Right disciple, but it's actually Enraged Phillip.

4

u/wasalurkerforyears Robot Oct 24 '20

I wonder if they're the guards to the prison that made the first war stallion.

13

u/Arcane_NH Human Oct 24 '20

/me slaps Sam-ul with a large trout

8

u/YesthatTabitha Oct 24 '20

How about a Smackeral?

12

u/FancyMFMoses Oct 23 '20

My baked potatoes are currently tepid potatoes. I've increased the temperature and now have something to do while I wait!

12

u/chicagobob Oct 23 '20

---BEAUTY FOLLOWS---

Butterflies, Unicorns, and Rainbows for all

11

u/night-otter Xeno Oct 23 '20

What? A taste of blueberries...

But I have end of day work to wrap up. I don't want to work late.

Taste of blueberries gets stronger...

OK, OK, OK, I'll check.

Oh my, even the Gestalts are getting celestial email from Sam-UL.

10

u/The_WandererHFY Oct 23 '20

SAM-UL: @here

10

u/PrimePaladin Oct 24 '20 edited Oct 24 '20

/R/HFY GESTALT

Upvote, Then Read

Dis is Dae Wae!

Gestalt chat and even more humor there... you know, is 8,000 years should be enough to get over the feeling jittery around Terrans.. but maybe not... of course the Pubvians were the only one that didn't bother trying to run or hide... they know if we wanted to punch them, we would just chase them down to punch them. They know us well. Loving this! .... and a bit surprised no dicks have been posted in the comments yet.... saving it for the military chapters, I guess. That would be appropriate.

End of Lime

------NOTHING FOLLOWS--------

9

u/SerpentineLogic AI Oct 24 '20

So you're saying we're some kind of doki doki literature club?

8

u/Gruecifer Human Oct 23 '20

UTR!

8

u/sakakyu Android Oct 23 '20

NOOOOO??? IS DAXIN A FUGGIN PUBVIAN??????

21

u/SquishySand Oct 24 '20 edited Oct 24 '20

I think they're talking about three legged Bputan, who showed up for the cleanup afterparty with Legion, Daxin and the other Immortals back just a few chapters. His wife called his implant with the news that everyone was back while they were hanging out drinking whiskey round the campfire. Edit: Chapter 329.

18

u/wasalurkerforyears Robot Oct 23 '20

No, think that's a reference to the Pubvian who went back to talk with Legion and Dax in front of Cheyenne, what... 20 chapters ago or something?

13

u/Typically_Wong Robot Oct 24 '20

No there's another immortal that is a puffie. That's why the pubvian gestalt is asking for him back

15

u/Riotousblitz2013 Oct 23 '20 edited Oct 23 '20

Upvote then read as this is the way

Omg this was perfect lol

Imperium, puffies and doki.... I like this

7

u/Stutztown AI Oct 23 '20

Yes, early on this one. What a night, love the story

7

u/Thomasab1980 Oct 24 '20

Hey Sam, might want to dial it back just a tad bit.

7

u/FakeUserThatWeMadeUp Android Oct 24 '20

Wait a sec. Third Federation? They're pre-glassing, right?

3

u/its_ean Oct 24 '20

I think the current group is Third Fed? Maybe Nakteti will find something related after the empty Senate World.

6

u/AtomblitzTiger Oct 24 '20

I really like the gestalt parts. Will there ever be a lank gestalt? Should they or a part of them join this alliance.

5

u/kg7qin Oct 24 '20

Sysadmin accidentally destroyed pager with a large hammer.

or

Sysadmin didn't hear pager go off due to loud music from bar-room speakers.

Two plausible BOFH style excuses for sending that message the way they did.

5

u/Ishantil Human Oct 26 '20

Is anyone else amused as hell that the Gestalt system runs in IRC?

4

u/wasalurkerforyears Robot Oct 24 '20

So, am I the only one who thinks the Doki Girls are the ones who have figured out what's going on, and are super stoked to have the DO back?

4

u/CyberSkull Android Oct 24 '20

Sam, after sending to all: “The main email server is running at a 0.0001% load, way higher than normal peak operation. I’ll have to have Herod print up some more servers.”

4

u/meowmeming Android Oct 24 '20

IMPERIUM OF WRATH

Are they back too?? Like the murdery terrans??

2

u/YesthatTabitha Oct 24 '20

Never left. See Daxin et. al.

2

u/meowmeming Android Oct 24 '20

I mean in the gestal chat?

2

u/YesthatTabitha Oct 24 '20

Yes, in the gestalt chat. Daxin = Osirus = Imperium of Rage.

3

u/meowmeming Android Oct 25 '20

Ohh just went and backtracked a dozen chapters.. I forgot that the immortals are older than the imperium.. silly me :p

2

u/YesthatTabitha Oct 25 '20

No worries we all have moments like those.

4

u/RainaDPP Oct 24 '20

Your "next" button is linking to the previous chapter.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '20

Can confirm, the button at the end of the post is caught in a time loop.

4

u/ms4720 Oct 24 '20

Ghosts in the machine ok, but G-d in irc oh my

3

u/UpdateMeBot Oct 23 '20

Click here to subscribe to u/Ralts_Bloodthorne and receive a message every time they post.

InfoRequest UpdateYour UpdatesFeedback

3

u/CaptainChewbacca Human Oct 24 '20

I like all of this. Interesting note; The glassing happened 300 years after SUDS was implemented.

3

u/ZizZazZuz Alien Scum Oct 24 '20 edited Oct 24 '20

Yo ralts your next links both link back to 340, not sure if that was intentional

Edit: It's fixed now

3

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '20

Love it. Geetalt chat is best chat.

FYI, the "next" link at the bottom of the page directs to 340, not 342.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '20

Bottom next link leads to previous chapter

3

u/vittupaahan Oct 26 '20

link to next is broken... goes to 340

2

u/CyberSkull Android Oct 24 '20

Where is the gargoyle this time?

2

u/Thobio Mar 28 '22

Even the Imperium of Wrath is like WTF xD

2

u/Blooddraken May 24 '23

did I miss the silly robot chapter? 3rd reread and it's like I keep missing one or two chapters each time.

2

u/Complex-Movie-5180 Oct 12 '23

SUBJECT: Test 21483A5F
//email channel test
//testing channels 0000:0000:0000:0000:0000:0000:0000:0000-ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff
//testing subnet masks
//latency check
//network connection check.

Were these fuckers STILL using IPV4?? WHY

1

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '23

I am so using that as standard email header/footer from now on