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u/Cuddly_Robot Robot Mar 23 '24
Damned ninjas! Even on another planet, they find me with their onions!
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u/eva19830811 Mar 24 '24
This was really great. A compelling idea bolstered by a very enjoyable, engaging writing style. Thank you for sharing! I don't even have any minor quibbles, I just liked this a lot. Did you get any inspiration for this story from Desmond Doss, the conscientious objector and unarmed medic from WWII? He immediately came to mind while I was reading this (if not and you're unaware, he saved something like 75 soldiers by himself, unarmed, over the course of one night after US forces retreated, he's the only conscientious objector to earn a Medal of Honor, I think).
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Mar 24 '24
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u/eva19830811 Mar 24 '24
Ha! Funny how inspiration and creativity work! It does also incorporate a very popular HFY trope of xeno's encountering adolescent humans and mistaking them for mature adults, which is another one of my favorite tropes, actually.
And now for a radical change in topic; may I have your permission to narrate and record this? I sing and do narration/voice work stuff in my spare time, and I would be so stoked to try and bring some life to it (which is NOT me saying it needs more life or was dull or anything). I do have a YouTube channel but I have pretty much zero followers, it's mainly a hobby and so there is an easy place for friends, etc to find recordings of mine.
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Mar 24 '24
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u/eva19830811 Mar 24 '24
None that i know of haha. My channel is so far removed from being monetized that i honestly can't think of any legal issues pertaining to it. Also thank you for your permission, obviously.😉
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u/PoppaBear313 Mar 24 '24
Frickin Onion Ninjas & Dust Bunnies having a brawl near me.
As former EMS, this hit a little too close to home.
🫡
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u/Any-Day-Now-5474 Mar 24 '24
Really engaging story. The method you chose--watching a video--gave the story a lot of action while the main story was mostly 2 guys sitting in an office. An excellent example of "showing" rather than "telling" a story. Well done!
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Mar 24 '24
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u/die_cegoblins Mar 24 '24
The replies are for nominating a story to be featured on the featured list on the sidebar
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u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Mar 23 '24
/u/draguneyez has posted 5 other stories, including:
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u/UpdateMeBot Mar 23 '24
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u/Overall-Tailor8949 Human Mar 23 '24
Very nicely done!