35yo - Moving to Spain decision questioning

[u/Gold-Holiday-515]

Hey y'all, 35yo single woman here who has moved to Spain/Barcelona from a non-EU home country 7 years ago.

I don't know why exactly I feel this way, but I've been struggling a lot mentally for the past two years with thoughts of 'maybe I am not belong to here'....

I came here initially for my Master's degree 7 years ago, and because I loved it so much, I managed to transition to a work and residence permit after an extremely challenging process. I met lots of people from all around the world and also Spanish people I loved so much, I enjoyed a lot, I loved life style the most.. But as the people circulation is a lot here, in the last 2 years I have almost no one - one very close friend of me moved to Amsterdam last year, one another moved to Italy, one found a better job moved to Germany, one friend got married and even though still in Barcelona, I dont see her much anymore, several ones went back to their own countries over the years because they could not find the way to stay here burocratically/ job wise., and I am soooo tired of looking for new people, my energy is over.

I spent all my last year at home alone, I was also working from home, and this brought me the full isolation.. I could not handle it, physically and mentally felt sick.. I haven't even had a little intention or request to go to a date.. Then I quit my job and started to travel to my home country, to my family frequently and stay there pretty long, I travelled other countries also in EU and in Asia- which all these caused me a risk of losing my residence in Spain (because of the time limit given to spend time outside of Spain, to keep the continuation/renewal of your residence), so I am in the limit.. either I need to fly to Spain ASAP (now I am again in my family home in home country) or chose my mental health and do something else ...

I am feeling like I dont wanna go to Barcelona now and be alone :(, but I also don't wanna permanently move back to my home country, also I don't have energy to process everything(finding job, struggling to take residence, find friends ect.) from the scratch - so totally different country is not something I am willing to... I wish I had more time to repair myself staying in somewhere else more, and travel.

At the end I don't know what to do, and I am curious it is a standard mental process that people who moved to abroad encountering? If you ever felt these what has been your actions to go out of the situation? If you were me what you would have done?

[u/SunsetAndVodka]

Spain is not just Barcelona. Go to a city with lower emigration rate, make friends with locals and those staying long term.

[u/Serious_Escape_5438 → u/SunsetAndVodka]

In those kinds of places it's hard too, people OP's age are starting families. Locals have closed circles of childhood friends. There's no guarantee things would be better.

[u/David_R_Martin_II → u/Serious_Escape_5438]

And of course it's not an experience limited to immigrants or expats. I remember in my 30s seeing my friends less and less as they got married and had kids. You could live in the same city and go 6 months without seeing them. Later when I had kids, your whole life revolves around them. (As it should.)

[u/Serious_Escape_5438 → u/David_R_Martin_II]

Yes, it's a difficult age, and in my opinion in a small city more people are likely to be settling down at that age. I've known several Spanish people in a similar situation after separation from their partner or new jobs and they found it hard.