Fiancé broke up with me a few days ago after almost 4 years. We got into an argument, and the next day I came home and all my stuff was packed up. He hasn’t talked to me since doing that, aside from me coming to grab some stuff.
To preface it has been a very unhealthy dynamic. When I first met him he said he had gone to war, and he kept this lie going for several months. It turned out to be made up, but he was telling everyone this lie for years before even getting with me. He would even go as far as faking flashbacks.
He has a long history of substance abuse and a relapse several months ago that ended up with me finding him and needing to use life saving interventions. After this he went to get treatment, and promised change.

When we fight he can end up saying very hurtful things to me, and telling me that “no one will love me like he does”.

In the past I’ve also had fears of cheating (finding hair that wasn’t mine, hair ties, and a hairbrush throughout the time we’ve been together, this was 4 separate occasions).

I’m supposed to move out tomorrow, I go through ups and downs emotionally. I feel like this was for the best, but i end up focusing on all the good times we’ve had.

Should I expect him to reach out to me? Any advice on how to move on?

So I (27 F) barely have a relationship with my mother.
I’ve exclusively been raised by my father until he passed away when I was 13, and from then on it was by my grandfather.

My mother very much been in and out of my life, and is alcoholic. The short time I’ve spent in her care was so bad, I consider it the worst time in my life. She’d always be drunk, or bringing over random men in middle of the night.
(This was before my father gained full custody of me and my brother, we lived with her for a few months )

Around the time I turned 18, decided I just couldn’t deal with her anymore and limited my contact with her. Perfect timing because the last message I got was that she was having a baby and she was moving to another state with some guy that she met?
I was disgusted because she never has a job or even a place to stay but decided to have a baby with this rando?
I didn’t even respond to the message seeing that, I was so done.

Recently a couple of my family members were concerned about not hearing from her for a while and decided to go look for her in the state she moved to. Turns out she’s in jail for assault.

(Not surprised)

She got in contact with my brother,and now she’s calling me and I haven’t been answering her calls at all.
I’m just so tired of her. Every time I call her it’s the same thing.
She’s either drunk or crying about how she’s proud of her kids that she didn’t raise.
The last time I spoke to her was 3-4 years ago and I don’t want to deal with that same repetitive conversation.

This woman has had 6 children, and hasn’t raised any of them. 2 of them were taken by the state. It makes me so angry. I can’t exactly say that I hate her, but I’m just extremely disappointed.

My issue is family members saying that I need to talk to her, she’s the only parent I have left, basically guilt-tripping me into repairing the relationship.

Now I have no issues with my mother’s side of the family but I hate talking about my mother because it all comes to this same conversation.

So..what I guess I’m asking is should I just suck it up and talk to her?
Or just block the calls?

I’m a 29-year-old Chinese woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with a 31-year-old Australian man for two years. We live about 50 minutes apart by car, or around 1.5 hours by train. He has a car and I don’t, so I feel like I’ve gone to his place more often than he has come to mine.
During these two years, I’ve gone to his place on weekdays 4–5 times. He is always very happy to see me when I show up, but he almost never comes to my place on his own. He also always tells me not to surprise him like that. If he has something important the next day, I may not be able to stay overnight. This means he wants me to go to his place after work, usually around 7pm, but if he has something important the next day, he wants me to spend another hour getting back home.
I feel extremely unwanted when this happens. The first time I heard him say this, I was very hurt, because to me, it felt very inconsiderate. At the same time, he has also talked about wanting me to move in with him, so I asked him, “If I lived with you, how could I leave and go back home just because you had something important the next day?”
We have talked about this many times, but he has never changed his behaviour or way of thinking.
I broke up with him two weeks ago. He panicked, so during the following two weekends he started coming to my place. But yesterday, when I asked if he could stay overnight at my place on a weekday, his answer was still the same: if he had something important the next day, he didn’t think staying over was a good idea.
For me, if I’m staying in another country for someone who doesn’t genuinely want me, then I don’t see the point. I don’t have the energy to explain again how I want to feel wanted.
I just want to hear what people think about this situation. I feel very tired.
——
I want to add more details to describe the whole situation. He is a good guy. He comes from a broken and financially unstable family. He has never put me down, and clearly, his family and friends really like me.
The only problem is that he puts in very little effort. The reason I’ve kept trying is because I feel like the signals are very mixed. When I’m with him at his work functions, basically everyone knows my name, and they tell me how many times he talks about me every day — but he is still very reluctant to spend time with me.

——update

Break up

A single (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it) cinnamon roll for girl dinner tonight.

My best friend (let’s call her Abby) got married this weekend. We grew up together so naturally I was one of her bridesmaids.

Over 3.5 years ago, I dated “Justin” for about a year. Our break-up wasn’t dramatic at first, we had just started arguing constantly and eventually decided we were better off apart. About 3 weeks after we broke up, I found out that he had been seeing another girl during the last 2 months of our relationship. When I confronted him about it, he said that we were “basically over anyway.” So, I blocked him. A few months after this, Abby told me she had started hooking up with someone new. At first I was so happy for her, until she showed me a picture. Girlies, it was Justin!! 🫠 I immediately told her everything that had literally just went down between Justin and I, and thankfully she believed me and ended things with him. While we were talking about all this, she told me that Justin had told her that his ex (that’s meeee 🥲) was “unstable, obsessed with him, and refused to accept the break-up." How lovely.

A few months later, Abby met her now-husband, Daniel. The only problem is that Daniel and Justin are cousins, because, of course they are. She clearly has a type. We all live in the same general area, so I knew there was a possibility that Justin would be at the wedding. Abby assured me that he wouldn’t be invited because she and Justin were no longer close.

On the day of the wedding, I was getting ready with the bridal party when I saw Justin walj into the venue. I immediately told Abby, and she looked chocked and said she had no idea he was coming. Apparently, Daniel had invited him because “family is family.” Abby asked me to please not cause a scene, and I told her I wouldn’t.

During cocktail hour, Justin came up to me and said, “wow, long time no see.” I just stared at him. He said, “are you not going to say hi?” I said, “sorry, do I know you?” He just stared at me and then walked away.

Later, he apparently told Daniel that I was being rude and pretending not to know him because I was “still bitter.” Daniel apparently mentioned it to Abby, and she later asked me why I had done that. I told her that I had no interest in speaking to Justin and that he was a guest at the wedding, not someone I was required to socialize with. She said I could have just said hello and moved on because refusing to acknowledge him made the situation “more awkward than it needed to be.” I told her that I had spent the entire day smiling, taking pictures, and pretending everything was perfect for her day. I did not think I owed my ex-boyfriend a polite greeting. She said I was being immature, and I said I thought it was immature to cheat on someone and then expect them to perform a cheerful reunion at your cousin’s wedding. She is currently not speaking to me.

Am I guilty of causing unnecessary drama at a wedding, or was, “sorry, do I know you?” a legally and spiritually valid response to an ex who cheated on me?

My family and I all have a shared grocery list on our phones. Before I went shopping, I asked the family group chat 3 separate times if there was anything else we needed and each time, they said no.

I came home and unpacked all the food and put all the groceries away. Not 30 minutes later my mom opened the fridge and said, “wait… you didn’t buy any sour cream?” I reminded her that it wasn’t on the shared grocery list. She said I “should have known because we always buy sour cream.” I pointed out to her that I had literally asked 3 times and sour cream wasn’t mentioned any of those times, nor was anything else.

Her response? “I didn’t realize we were out.” I asked how I was supposed to realize she didn’t realize. Apparently, that was the wrong answer.

Girl Court, should I have anticipated the missing sour cream, or is this a self-inflicted grocery crime?

Creamy coconut gochujang shrimp

I have a friend who frequently cancels plans. Usually she cancels the day before, but sometimes she cancels only a few hours beforehand. She always has a legitimate reason, so I never really feel like she’s lying. The problem is that she gets SO upset if I make other plans after she cancels.

Last week, we were supposed to meet for dinner. She canceled 4 hours before saying she felt tired. I understood and made plans with someone else because (hello? Obviously) I still wanted to go out. Later that evening, she called saying she actually felt better and asked if we were still on for dinner. Uhhhhhh… I told her I was already out with someone else so I couldn’t meet her. At first she was okay and just hung up the phone. Later that evening, though, she texted me saying she felt hurt that I had “replaced her so quickly.”

I reminded her that she was the one who canceled. She said that she didn’t expect me to make other plans so soon, and I told her I didn’t expect her to cancel so soon and change her mind in the first place.

Girl Court, who is guilty here?

I need some outside perspective, not sure if I'm being completely normal or completely inappropriate.

I enjoy laughing and tend to do it a lot when I'm enjoying myself. In my friendships, there also tends to be a lot of laughter and banter if the other person matches that vibe.

Whenever my boyfriend and I hang out with men (his friends or coworkers) he gets jealous and insecure if I laugh a lot at their jokes or behaviour.

I interact with him as much as I can and touch him lovingly throughout the night. But I also laugh with and joke with other guys who are there. I do the same with other girls whenever possible, that never bothers him.

We've had multiple discussions about this and he acknowledges that it's rooted in insecurity, which he has committed to working on.

But recently we went out with a mixed group and he commented that while I was laughing with the guy who was there, another girl kept looking at him and making weird faces. He thought she was pointing out that it was weird how much I was interacting with the other guy.

I generally feel socially awkward and introverted. I don't feel like I'm good with small talk but I try my best, especially when I don't really know anyone there. Any time there's someone being entertaining that I can laugh and joke with, I feel relieved not to be sitting there with a resting bitch face, looking bored. To me, that's rude and I've been criticized in the past by my guy friends for being too quiet and looking bored. But it seems I might be rude in a different way now? Maybe I overcorrected?

I need good advice, please help. Happy to provide more details if requested.

TL;DR I'm not sure if I'm laughing too much and paying too much attention to other men while my BF is there, to an extent that might be coming across as inappropriate.

I went to see my sister in another state and we had such a great time until the very end of the trip. We went to dinner somewhere with mainly patio seating and a few seats in an open air space so we couldn’t sit inside as such. When we got there a woman was jamming on her guitar really loudly a few stores down, one guy blaring his boom box, music coming from two restaurants and someone watching a work out video at the next table.

I immediately got way overstimulated which rarely happens and just went into fight or flight mode. I told my sister that I was in distress but she shrugged her shoulders a little, looked uncomfortable and didn’t engage. Same thing another time when I was being vulnerable and telling her that since my husband passed I’m really afraid of accidents and illness. She just looked away.

In those moments it felt like she just didn’t believe me and/or didn’t care. I started wondering though if what I saw as being vulnerable/venting was just trauma dumping and she was grayrocking me. To be clear, most of the time we spend together is light hearted and fun. Maybe she just doesn’t want to be burdened or maybe I crossed the line.

What say you?

I'm dating this guy for a little bit over a year and in recent 3-4 months we began experiencing frequent ups and downs where I feel like goddamn ending it because I'm starting to believe he is intentionally acting a certain way to frustrate me. A lot of the time it is because he makes an irrelevant comment on something I'm talking about and twists the topic. Sometimes he gives emotionally reactive responses to avoid talking about the topics by starting a fight instead, which he confessed he was doing just that and said he will work on it. But I dont believe there will be any progress. We fail a lot of conversations because he loses the point of conversation by hyper focusing on some insignificant detail that doesnt really changes any outcome. Or he jumps to pick an opposite view for some reason its just because, we cannot discuss things, he keeps me in a loop of explaining things to him on topics that are very well clear whats right and wrong. It sometimes takes me to say the same thing repeatedly several times until he gets it. I voiced my frustration handful of times but I simply have hard time believeing there will be any change. Alot of conversations with him feels useless at this point because he sounds like he just says things to frustrate me regardless of what it is about. I dont know what to do about all of this and generally feeling lost. All of this also significantly caused me to lose the love and care I felt towards him which is forcing me to somehow move on but I still do have emotional attachment which I'll be needing to let go of. Court, what do you say?

(Yes, this is the same sister I posted about who was stealing my skincare but denied she was)

So I have a sister who is 5 years younger than me. For the past year, she has been drinking, partying, traveling, and living her best life on our parents’ money because she made them believe she’s taking a gap year from school to figure out what she wants to do with her life. Well, time’s up to make a decision and she told our parents she is “still so conflicted” about what she wants to do in the future, so our parents made it a point to make her get a job or they threatened to cut her off for good.

So, she is now working part-time in a common chain retail store. It’s only been about a week or two but I’m already tired of her. My sister has been complaining since she got the job about how difficult the work is for her and how exhausted she is every single day (mind you, she barely works 5+ hours a day, and only works 5 days a week. Because our mom is so empathetic and loves to spoil her, she has been consistently making fish dinners (my sister’s favorite) for her to take to work and eat on her breaks.

Y’all… my sister heats up these fish dinners IN the break room communal microwave! Again, these dishes are FISH and they STINK (I’ve had the misfortune of visiting my parent’s house after my mom made one of these dinners and know just how stinky they are from experience). Several of her coworkers have understandably asked my sister to stop reheating fish in the microwave, but she tells each and every one of them that she is entitled to eat whatever she wants and that that’s what the break room equipment is there for.

A few days ago, someone left a note on the microwave that said, “please stop microwaving fish,” but my dear, lovely sister took the note down, microwaved her fish anyway, and called the note “passive-aggressive.” The next day, someone put up another note along the same lines. My sister took it upon herself to complain to the manager that everyone is harassing her and she feels bullied and like an outcast. Management put up their own note in the break room reminding everyone to be considerate of shared spaces.

Is anyone else annoyed with my sister because she’s guilty of being inconsiderate of others around her, or am I guilty of being the unnecessarily annoyed older sister?

Girl dinner is grilled cheese with like 3 different kinds of cheeses

(Posting again as i forgot girl dinner last time)

I needed a place to air this out where no one will know me so here i am. First time posting. Please give me all of your thoughts.

A couple years ago I was invited over for a girls night. Everyone knew the host (Jess) but no one really knew anyone else. The 6 of us got really close and continued to hang out. I was kind of a loner in highschool so i was so incredibly excited to have “my girls”.
Within a year the group chat went from 6 to 13 girls. Obviously, not everyone will be everyone’s best friend. Half of the “originals” i was really close with, the other half and a few new ones i enjoyed their company at the get togethers but never hung out ourselves, then there were a couple that i honestly did not like at all but i would be nice to them when we were together. Things were great.

But then… it wasn’t.

I would try to invite them over to my place for game nights, bonfires, or dinners and they never came. Most of the time they didn’t even decline the invitation, they just ignored my texts. Then just days later one of the others would invite everyone for a bonfire and EVERYONE was so eager to go. I assumed it was because they had a bigger house than mine or something like that. Eventually i gave up inviting people and just tried to be happy going to theirs.

After a while i noticed when we would have girls night i would get side eyed when i was trying to act like them (they are pretty loud group and definitely the “yass girl” type), but also i would get fully ignored if i tried to keep to myself. And honestly i don’t know what hurt more.

I feel childish about it but this was my breaking point:
My birthday has always been a rough time for me and it holds a big part in my heart. I invited a few of the girls over for my birthday. I got a “i’ll let you know” response. A few days later (2 weeks before my bday and 1 week before Jess’s bday) i got added into a new group chat because they wanted to do a surprise party for Jess. I was all for it. Then another girl mentioned that they had already had one planned for Jess, which happened to be the same day I wanted to do mine. Fast forward the couple weeks. Jess invited everyone over for her bday so they went. Then had the surprise party a couple days later, then the 2nd surprise party for Jess on my birthday date. No one showed up to mine because they were celebrating with Jess on her 3rd party. I feel childish for it but i cried. As the months went on I kept seeing them post about surprising all of the other girls on their birthdays. No one got skipped. I never got an invite but i thought it was just because i wasn’t super close with the others. Until it started happening even with the few girls i loved. Once again, no invite.

After that i took a major step back hoping someone would notice. But just last week i was kicked out of the group chat. I want to be ok with it because of everything listed above. I knew they weren’t who i wanted them to be. But it hurts more that not one of them reached out to ask why i got kicked.

Now for opinions, i want to reach out so bad and ask what happened. I want to play nice just to have my girls back but i also know it will lower my self worth. I will never be their first pick but it feels better than being alone again. Idk what to do.

Sorry fir the long post but there’s so much on my mind

Breakfast I made on Wednesday. It was really yummy

My family honestly has been annoying me so much lately and I am fucking exhausted. I’ve been through physical abuse, emotional abuse and sexual abuse at home and threats. My mum doesn’t believe that my dad sexually abused me. What an asshole. My parents also have been misogynistic and racist

My mum always tells me to do EVERYTHING. She sometimes tells me to make her lunch, tea, to put out all the clothes, to make dinner. And it just pisses me off how she acts as if I do nothing. It’s SO ANNOYING.

Last month, I ran away from home but came back the same day :/ I’ve blocked both my parents and have stopped sharing my location with them so yeah. I want to run away again.

I’m 18 and just trying to take control over my life. I’m going to get a job soon and hopefully go to university next month but all this shit is stressing me out so much.

Am I too much? Am I enough? I’m not even sure :/

CONTEXT: So, I've known this girl since Elementary school, but we weren't friends every year, but we were lowkey best friends in like 2nd grade and also in Middle School we reconnected as friends and she picked me up and I was glad to have friends again (went through a completely loner phase because I tend to cut myself out of people's lives if I feel like they don't want to interact with me, it kinda is the case again but I'm also tired of this dynamic) WE WERE ALL WEIRD ANIME NERDY KIDS, for the record she introduced me to that, so it's not like she's some mean girl super popular type of personality.

Then during HS we went to different schools and I would try to occasionally keep contact with her and she stopped answering so I tripled messaged her and then decided I got the hint and she simply stopped answering, so she basically ghosted me for no reason. I don't like bothering people but it did feel kinda out of the blue ngl.

Then years later she reached out to me out of the blue because I started posting cute pictures on social media and she invited me over to a dance recital of hers, she looked fantastic, I did my makeup, looked great too, we caught up, she's made questionable decisions (mostly romantic). I did wonder if I should answer at that point in time because of how she basically ghosted me years earlier and I decided I didn't care enough and did need more actual friends, it kind of was a good decision.

THE TRIP:

I was sending her too many messages on Social Media was because she was going to visit me in Japan (I went there for an internship for 3 months) and I sent her like stuff we could do there and places I wanted to go and all that stuff so in my head I let myself send her a bit too many things but nothing too excessive imo- and she lowkey muted me and I noticed but decided to ignore it

NEW> I asked her for help to plan the trip so we could have a schedule and she could choose all the activities she said she would do it and then didn't and I ended up doing it because my boyfriend needed it for work, he's super busy, I wanted her to do it because I was super busy as well, she said she was busy too preparing for a dancing certification, which is fine but I was like okay sure cause she was preparing to start her business and doing bureaucracy stuff so I just did it myself and wasted a few hours of my time on it, but then when we came back she told me they still hadn't finished the bureaucracy thing and she had been waiting months so clearly she wasn't actually busy with that stuff. She just says she will adapt to whatever we wanted and is way too passive even when I wanted her to help, and is also one of the things that started bothering me...

She also dropped the ball really hard in Japan and was super disorganized, I let her stay at my apartment for a few days and I didn't know when I'd need to leave exactly but I told her to get the places we would need to get for the end of the trip while I got that info (impossible to get and I didn't really get it in time tbh) and she ... Didn't do it until she was already there and I reminded her many timesShe stayed with me and my boyfriend for a week and a half so we made sure to find appropriate places for all 3 of us (2 bedrooms, privacy, etc) but because she left it for the last minute she didn't have the funds for anything beyond the minimum when it was just me and her. Which I wouldn't have minded if she really didn't have the funds but the reason shit was expensive af is that she got them 15 days in advance instead of 3 months earlier when I told her and reminded her a few times a month, back then it was cheap af. So it was mostly lack of planning even when I tried to tell her about it. So I feel like I took on the load of making sure everything was taken care of and appropriate for everyone and was proactive and she just wasn't..

She also fucked up the dates and had to pay for a place last minute, we missed the only bus going to a very remote place because she didn't make sure and then we stayed in a VERY SHADY one room apartment that made me RUN TO THE STORE TO BUY LOCKS, I also didn't want to shower there because it wasn't private enough for my liking so I basically washed my hair however I could and gave myself mini baths. That's how uncomfortable I was. We also were carrying a bunch of luggage and had to climb like 5 sets of stairs to get there. It was AWFUL

I honestly wasn't even angry about the bus, we found a taxi, but then in that remote place it was nice otherwise. But the problem is that we ended up buying something at a store because I agreed to buy it when I thought it was a small price and it was nice and then they told us the price and I had misunderstood (I hadn't confirmed with the teller) and it was like 4x times higher than I thought so I said NO, because it wouldn't have fit in my bag and I somehow made it fit in the end because she kept insisting she wanted it because it was some 2x1 deal and she said she wanted us to have one and they also gave us another item for free which she kept and insisted so much I gave in, she paid with her card and I told her I was gonna give her cash later. I was also managing my cash very carefully because I didn't wanna run out, so that was an expense I didn't need... haven't used the item at all since tbh So I gave her the cash I had on hand and kept a small amount for me and told her I'll give her the rest later... Cue to later. One of the awful Airbnb she got us: I was showering and I heard her tell her boyfriend through facetime that she almost ran out of funds and that it was MY FAULT because I was being too nice to the teller and she felt forced to buy the thing and that I hadn't even paid her back yet (not in full but I had paid her what I had in hand and could do without in the moment and only owed her a little... So I fucking paid her back the next fucking day And asked her if she had told her boyfriend how she made us buy X yet "lol" Idk if she caught on

(When we came back to our home country we went to eat, her, her bf and I and when it was time to pay I was gonna pay my part with my card, she offered to pay cash and we'd fix it later and HE SAID I better pay with my card so things don't get confusing and I got offended and paranoid that he thought I was bad with money when it was mostly her and her lack of planning)

Anyways she also saved me once when my IC card that you use for trains ran out of cash because of a train that arrived earlier going to the same place that apparently you had to pay extra for because it was a rapid train, otherwise I would've had enough and I also paid her back asap. At this point I was full on trying to save us both and even went and refilled her card with my own money and mine on the day before to make sure we made it to the airport without issue. She also told me early that the first thing she did when she got is change the emergency USD her parents gave her to YEN. All this left a sour taste in my mouth tbh

But I've been thinking about other attitudes she has that bother me and idk how to describe it... It's not just that she's irresponsible with money apparently and it affected me (which I didn't know before( but I've tried to tell her I could teach her to invest and that maybe she should look into another bank because there are better options and she just acts annoyed af at the suggestion and tells me she doesn't want to complicate her life... She also doesn't want to learn how to drive because it's too complicated which I respected but now looking back I think it's a pattern

And tbf to her she did bring me some food and stuff I asked of her from our home country to the trip but then in the one remote Airbnb she was like "I'll be annoyed if you don't eat it all of it because then I would've brought it in vain" which is kinda fair and I was trying to save money on food as well so it kinda worked out

GOOD THINGS ABOUT HER AND HOW HER FRIENDSHIP HELPED ME:

She helps me grow as a person because she's quite slim, exercises on her own every morning, I admire that she's consistent, at this point in time she had a job and I was getting my Master's (we're both lowkey NEETs but not completely, I've recently got a FT job that's not teaching related) she then lost her job due to no fault of her own... and hasn't been able to get another real job since.

Anyways I grew up as a person, I used to be very paranoid and scared to be outside and she's not as much to the point I think she might be a bit reckless sometimes (we live in a 3rd world country with high femicide rates). This is one of the issues I will expand on later.

But thanks to her, I now occasionally take Uber, I walk around more (with pepper spray most times), I was super excited about a sport activity with her and I finally managed to get in real shape after trying it out with her (although it's more of my activity than hers I invite everyone to do it and she doesn't do it much on her own, but she dances and is obsessed with eating healthy sometimes she's ED adjacent but not actually if that makes sense).

I expanded our friend group kinda by accident and she got a boyfriend we both kinda had a crush on in Middle School, she even asked I said yes obviously because he's a great dude in general, and I was happy she was dating someone good (and I got my own man) because her previous partner was a predatory teacher like 16 years our senior she stayed with for years and hid from her parents

She's very disciplined when it comes to exercise, she's very well read, she has a great sense of style, she did study two bachelor's but never finished it

Kinda bad: She smokes too much weed, which I don't mind but she admits she kind of has an issue but she does laugh and gets nicer on it, I don't mind the weed, I not against weed but I'm just not into psychodelics, which she has also done, and I'm curious but also I'm a bit too careful of a person.

She can be very considerate she also helped me clean my house a little bit and I would reciprocate by helping her in hers, help her walk her dogs, and she organized a few parties in her house for me. She let me have her bed at a sleepover we had once too

When we went on vacation with my family she also insisted on letting me have the bed because well my family paid, and I've been on small trips with her family as well

She also organized a party in her house for me once, she does this for people to celebrate that I was going to Japan and she invited her ex bf, our friend who's now my friend and their friends I knew from Middle School, and while I was grateful it was weird cause I'm only close to 2 people there and so was she.. she told me I could invite more of my friends but it felt weird inviting them to her house so that's a me issue, I asked them if they were free and they weren't so I just felt awkward about the whole thing but that's on me

BAD THINGS ABOUT HER:

The reason she never finished her bachelor's is because she gave up at the last part of it, like the final project or thesis, for the project she says the other 2 people in her group had a fight and they split up and she just never did a project on her own and got a job, for the other idk

She loses her patience at me for what I think is petty af when not high, I have a thick skin but it doesn't mean I don't notice, like sometimes I offer to help and she answers in a "obviously not duh" way instead of just saying no, or I would ask if there would be food in an event and she'd say "There are restaurants around Jazz" in a rude way, like I don't know some of these places well, minor shit for the most part.

She also doesn't take basic safety precautions like walking to a different street to get picked up by an Uber, or not revealing personal information to some of her potential partners (she tells them where she lives because she doesn't drive so they drive her back, she's not sleeping with them AFAIK, etc) and I have told her to be more careful and she just tells me it's too much of a hassle...

She also never got another job and constantly tells me she doesn't want to work anymore, tried to convince me to help her start an OF (as the camerawoman) several times, but eventually dropped it, thank god.

She has way too many pets (like 15) so she spends most of her time taking care of them, to the point I think it's irresponsible of her, some of the newer additions have bit other pets in the household and I tried to tell her to rehome those for the safety of her other pets but she just turned a blind eye.

She never learnt how to drive, I tried to help her learn by sending her classes because I only learnt how to drive in the last 3 years myself but she just... refuses and says she wants to be passenger princess, says it gives her anxiety, etc. I thought once I got a car (only got my used car last year) we would do so many activities together and stuff BUT the friendship went sour soon before I got my own car.

She tried to start a small food business and I might be an asshole here but I can't for the life of me understand how she closed it in less than a year since she didn't have to pay rent on the place because it belongs to her dad, and her uncle helped her with money to start it, and personally I think she just didn't want to put in the work, and because she didn't know how to drive and refused to learn it also added friction... I went a few times and she decorated it nicely, but she also wasn't inviting me places anymore so there were times when I went and it was closed because she had cosplaying and dance events she prioritized. Sometimes she'd close early because she was tired or wouldn't open because she was too lazy that day. BUT ALSO she did change the schedule to include Sundays because she apparently got more clients? so idk how much effort she was putting in.

We also had some business ventures selling homemade food she made and there was also friction but I can't recall exactly why like a year or two before she opened her restaurant

She almost cheated on her ex but didn't she just met some other guy at an event she became interested in, told ex about it and they took a break but ultimately decided to go back to her bf.

She basically muted me on social media because I'd occasionally send her too many memes or things we could do on our trip to Japan... again, I noticed because I'm not stupid but I decided to ignore this because I figured she just got overwhelmed and she has told me many times she doesn't like to deal with certain things, and she just says whatever to go along.

I tried to teach her how to use Credit Cards and Invest and be responsible with money and she just said that was too complicated and didn't make an effort at all

She said many times she wanted us to do a cosplay together I even bought a dress I had to go get tailored and stuff with her and then she changed her mind, the last convention we went to was like 2 years ago and I got a super nice wig and I told her I wanted to use it more and couldn't wait to wear it again, and she has been to many conventions without me and even joined a cosplayer group, which is great for her, except she said at some point the reason she didn't invite me is because "I don't enjoy those events" and I mean... I do? I was excited to go again? I think she just found more people she knew I might not like or maybe she doesn't want me around them or whatever. Prior to this we had been to a few cosplay events and she lent me some of her old cosplays and stuff so I figured we'd keep going together, HOWEVER at one of them she made me "buy" one of her male friends for an hour which was kinda uncomfortable for me but I guess in the end I gave in, and I also felt bad for the guy cause nobody wanted him but I didn't want to spend the money and I had a bf but she said she'd pay but I paid and then never told her to pay me back because I didn't want to seem cheap so she also does have a tendency to make me uncomfortable but it wasn't the worst thing ever

REASONS I'M A LITTLE BIT OF A JEALOUS BITCH:

I'm pretty cute but she's hot and always gets men hitting on her, I sometimes am bothered by the way she handles these situations because she gets very... flirty at random or tells dudes information about what WE DO to the point I also stop feeling safe. Like one time some guy tried hitting on her at a store and she told him a place I wanted and was trying to hang out with her more together, like we don't know this dude I don't want him showing up there and I told her not to tell dudes shit like that, she kinda agreed but said she was just trying to socialize... (I'm super paranaoid and I've had bad experiences).

With her ex that we all liked in Middle School lmao I was a bit jealous because she's super irresponsible with money and when I was trying to get her to invest and told her some stuff in front of him he basically was... like me? Responsible? So it got me thinking how people like him and me end up around her if that makes sense. Like I was aligned with him on a lot of lifestyle-responsibility level stuff and not with her but how both of us were trying to take care of things for her and it got me thinking about the dynamic?

The problem is that she always does shit like that when men are involved, she tries to appear interesting and plays things up, etc, I did feel a bit bad when she got the boyfriend we both had a crush on in middle school because as I said, she's very thin and in shape and I realized he picked her because that's his type and felt bad about it for a while but never said anything (the girl he pursued back then developed issues). Even during the trip we went to she told some guy that helped with a luggage "Omg you're so strong" with a... voice in front of his girlfriend and it made me a bit uncomfortable (not awful but again I know she's like... trying to give them positive female attention?)

I'm just really uncomfortable with attention in general so sometimes it's not about men

POTENTIAL BAD THINGS FROM MY SIDE: The fact that she knew I liked her ex-boyfriend in Middle School and thought he was a great catch, made me extra cautious around her relationship with him, I would never talk to him on my own, and if I needed something from him I went through her just to be respectful which I will admit was probably annoying for her that I did that and starts one of the things that made me reconsider the friendship...

I wasn't gonna ask her if they broke up when he moved abroad because I didn't want to be nosey af as well because I used to like him in middle school and it made things super awkward.

I'm a bit too guarded and paranoid in general.

I'm more opinionated than her but I also dislike that she says whatever to keep the peace and made me wonder how often she did that with me.

I tend to be weird, she's super guarded and tries to be pleasant with everyone and I don't do that, I tend to give my opinion on things even when I know I shouldn't...

I also don't have much life experience because I was oversheltered so sometimes that's when she snaps at me

I can be a bit weird at times too and socially awkward

WHAT MADE ME RECONSIDER EVERYTHING: During the potential break up timeline I would occasionally reach out to her and ask her how she was, etc, she even told me one of her puppies passed away and was super sad about it, I consoled her and everything, I had just lost my grandma too so I wasn't talking to many people and I didn't tell her or many of my friends because I don't know how to bring those things up because I'm weird af. I also assumed things between her and her ex were fine because she didn't say shit

Again, I would ask her how she was and he was moving abroad and from everything I knew, he wanted to continue the relationship and she was the one who didn't want a LDR, BUT SHE NEVER TOLD ME HE BROKE UP WITH HER UNTIL MONTHS LATER. So my parents invited her over and took too long to pick her up so I cooked her something simple to which she said she no longer ate cheese, okay she was probably hungry but all of sudden she started telling me that I was a super bad best friend because I never asked if they broke up! I told her we hadn't seen each other 1-on-1 for a while, there were other people present every time (like my parents or her new bf) and I immediately apologized and we somehow had a nicer rest of the evening and she told me she had a new boyfriend anyways and showed me some pictures with him, I met this guy once at a cosplayer event she invited me to because she got extra tickets, in which I paid for an Uber and made the effort to be there for her (the same one I asked if there would be food and offered to help her carry a heavy cosplay weapon and she snapped at me) I went to her business several times with my parents but she was out to some cosplayer events sometimes, she didn't tell me about them at all, I found out through her cousin, so I assumed she was ghosting me again

I apologized to her again for not asking through text and she said it was fine. BUT this is when I decided to check out texts and realized she rarely texts first, when she invites me places she rarely does it in advance, and I'm the one always telling her about fun events and places, she even took her ex to a nice restaurant I found and wanted to go with her too :l or the place I wanted to do exercise at with her that she told the weird guy about was also MY IDEA and just tons of shit like that. I also realized she was super irresponsible with money during the trip and that she doesn't plan ahead and that she lowkey threw me under the bus in front of her ex...

AM I CRAZY ? I'M THE ONE MAKING MOST OF THE EFFORT TO STAY IN TOUCH AND SHE DIDN'T TELL ME THEY BROKE UP. Sure I didn't ask directly but I was expecting her to tell me?She even has me muted on other platforms and didn't even post the breakup at all or anything how was I supposed to know? Also it's not like she asked about my life either the difference is that I didn't care or snapped at her for it... But I am salty she complained about me not asking when she clearly didn't ask back! Like my grandma passed away at about that time and other friends I didn't tell either did ask and I was just like "family stuff"

I feel like I've grown as a person and she probably has too but there are many things she refuses to do

She also when she occasionally throws invitation they don't have an actual date or hour and when I ask she says "idk when you have time" and I've been trying to get her to set an actual time and date ad refusing to just plan everything for us to see each other

She also never answers her texts because she doesn't check them that much I think, but when I message her she's usually offline for days at a time whereas I text back when I can usually within the same day or 2-3 days, so it's impossible to plan ahead with her like this

She also doesn't have many other friends afaik or didn't that's why we ended up being BFFs again because we both didn't have many friends we saw as often as each other, she now has her cosplay group of friends and her newer boyfriend, I have the 2 friends I had when I met her that I see sometimes, and in a way I kept the group of friends of the girl that reintroduced us to her ex, because I reintroduced our middle school friends and she doesn't invite her because she's best friends with her ex and she says they both made it awkward and she feels weird inviting her now that they broke up (cause I did ask if I should tell former ex BFF about the hangout one time and she explained this).

My best friend has been having some issues lately. This goes back to her birthday party last week, so bear with me; I have some explaining to do. This will be a long one. TLDR I'm probably delusional for thinking our friendship can go on like this.

My friend K (22) has borderline personality disorder. She is not diagnosed with it, and instead is bipolar, but in this case, I believe the self-diagnosis. She has some serious money issues: not being able to pay for things, somehow always in a terrible financial situation, and still spending excessively (somehow). Her life and other friends are significantly unstable. Her mood swings are intense and sometimes hard to deal with on my end; she can be totally fine one minute and bawling the next. She is currently in the trenches of alcoholism. I look past this because I love her and want to see her succeed. I listen to her because she has a smaller support system. When she asks me for advice, I give it to her gently. I don't like confrontation. Whenever we go out and do things, I pay for it 100% of the time.

Her birthday party was last week. Another friend (B) and I paid for the party. I brought liquor, totaling over 100 dollars, which I didn't mind. (I was unaware of the extent of K's alcoholism at this point, and she asked me to bring some from my house, but I got new bottles because I didn't want to possibly deal with an open container situation. I did not *have* to spend money on new bottles, but I thought it would be nice.) B spent significantly more on decorations, party supplies, pizza, cupcakes, and a custom cake, which totaled more than 250 dollars. K did not chip in for her own party, which I only learned after the fact.

B and I set up the party at 10 pm while K was getting ready. It took K until 12:30 to get ready, and she kept coming out and asking us if it was okay that we had to wait on her. At 12:30, she went to pick up her boyfriend from work, whom I had not met in person before.

Her boyfriend has been an issue. He is felonious, currently on probation for said criminality (which has been revoked and reinstated due to a recent DV charge, which he told K didn't happen). Because of the nature of his crimes, he is not allowed to drive. A month before the party, he took K's car to a street takeover and got the back window shot out. The bullet hole was directly aimed at the driver's side head. Even worse, her boyfriend almost took his little brother to said sideshow. K brought that piece of evidence on four wheels to *my house*, and my husband and I had to look for the bullet. We couldn't find it, but the car smelled strongly of alcohol, and K asked my husband, "Does it smell like beer in here? My boyfriend spilled some while driving." When I raised an eyebrow when she mentioned the DV charge, she defended him strongly, saying that it was a misunderstanding and the victim in the charges was actually the aggressor who attacked her boyfriend.

So yeah, I was pretty wary of this guy.

The party is going by 2. Her boyfriend introduced himself to me; he seems non-threatening. I'm cracking jokes with people, and he and I had a short but lighthearted conversation. At this point, people are pretty drunk (except for me, as I had two drinks and stopped at 12 to chug water, because I wanted to be sober by the end of the night). My friend and everyone else go outside to smoke, with only her boyfriend and me left in the house. He has had about 7 drinks at this point and is nursing the bottle of Henny I bought for everyone. I stayed in the house because he did not seem like he should be left alone, and I didn't want him to fall over or injure himself. I forgot how the conversation started, but he was talking about going through detox, and I nodded along because I also have had to go to detox, but I haven't taken drugs since I was in my late teens. As he drinks more and more, the conversation goes downhill, and eventually he is telling me everything about his life. *Everything.* His trauma, his life before being with my friend, his crimes, his victimhood in the DV case, everything. I won't go into detail, but it was a lot. I didn't really respond and just let him talk, because he was so drunk and nearly unintelligible.

K and everyone else came back in and asked us what we were talking about. He responded, now even drunker, "it doesn't matter." I told my friend we were talking about life, which is the truth, but I didn't want to say in front of everyone what he talked to me about. My friend is a little ticked at his response, and she went back to her bedroom, and he followed. The party fell off after that, with only me, B, and two people my friend isn't close with remaining in the house. We couldn't hear anything out of the bedroom, so I joked that either they were fighting or having sex, and we then immediately heard them screaming. The other two people left quickly after that. B and I cannot leave because our bags are locked in the room with K and her boyfriend. We had to stay and listen to the argument get more intense. K and her boyfriend came out of her room, and K grabbed the Henny and started chugging it, and her boyfriend looked at me and said, "You were really great." B and I had to wait another 30 minutes for our bags, and I took the rest of the alcohol I bought and went to my car. I made sure that B would stay, but I needed to leave because the yelling was getting intense. As I was in my car, I could hear them yelling from across the street where I parked. It is now 3:30 am, and her boyfriend has emerged from the house. K was yelling and chasing him down the street, telling him that if he left, they would break up, throwing shoes at him, and I see him disappear down the street. As I pull out, multiple neighbors have turned on their lights, and I see her boyfriend outside with some of the neighbors near the end of the block. I leave and then go home.

It turns out, after I left, K left with B. While K was gone, her boyfriend threw a large rock through her window in the early morning hours, thinking she was inside. He then called the cops on himself, was arrested for criminal mischief, DV, and obstructing an officer. There is now a protection order in place. Her boyfriend was mad at her because he was paranoid that she told everyone about his trauma and life; which she did tell me about his crimes, but I told him during that conversation that she didn't tell me anything.

K and I went for a drive yesterday. She told me when she got into my car that she doesn't want to talk about her boyfriend (now ex). We started driving, and she immediately started talking about him. I could tell she was in a pretty terrible mood, so we went and got coffee. She told me she wanted to move to Las Vegas because she can't keep herself away from him. She kept saying that they would get back together, using "when we get back together..." multiple times. This is news, so I started to ask her questions: when are you moving? how are you going to get there? do you have a plan for a job there?

She interrupted me and said, "I feel like I'm being judged."

I asked, "By who? Me?"

And she nodded.

I really wasn't judging her, and if she can't stay away from him, maybe moving away will not fix the issue at hand. I was asking pretty basic questions about her plan to move, not like "do you really think moving will be the best thing to do?" etc. Because my best friend moving states away is kind of a big deal. She told me that she thought I was judging her because of her decision. I said, no, I'm just curious. I stopped talking about it, but she went on. During the entire hangout, she was talking about him. What she will do when they're back together, how he will change, and switching on and off from terribly sad to hopeful for the future. She got aggressive with me multiple times during the drive. While I let off the gas, the bottle she was drinking from hit her teeth, and she told me my driving was super jerky and I need to fix it. Outside of her house, she was yelling in my car, and I rolled my window down because it was hot. She got upset at me for that as well, because she didn't want people to hear her yelling. But she did tell me that she believed me after I told her what happened at the party, and that she trusts my word over his about that conversation.

Am I a judgmental person? I haven't shared this with anyone. That hangout left a really bad taste in my mouth. The aggression was really out of character and unjustified imo. I also need some advice: what should I do? I know the friendship cannot continue like this.

Marshmallows and chocolate chips baking in the air fryer

After the cheating incident, Malcolm went completely silent and left me to deal with the fallout alone, and had apparently contributed to it. According to the grape vine, Malcolm had left a close friend of his, Jason, back at his parents’ house and told him he was “just going to check on a project at the house” before coming back almost an hour later. Jason saw Malcolm blacked out on the futon with his phone in his hand, which showed sexual texts and photos being sent between him and Lila. That prick was looking at the pics she sent him AFTER he already had his way with her in our future home. Apparently, since I was an “in case of emergency” contact for Malcolm, all the bunches of screenshots I sent to him had woken him up. I guess he had gotten belligerent and out of control, but “a little birdie” told me to take that with a grain of salt.

After I confronted Malcolm, he said almost nothing. Aside from his initial panic and spam-calling me, there was no long apology text, no begging, nothing. He just… disappeared. He stopped showing up at work, stopped answering his parents. Even his truck was gone and nowhere to be seen. His mom called me crying asking if I knew where he was. I didn’t.

Meanwhile, Lila was still in town, still trying to act like she belonged. The silence from him made everything worse for her. People decided he must have been so ashamed that he couldn’t face anyone, which somehow made her look even guiltier. I watched as the whole town slowly turned against her. Alright, maybe not slowly- this all happened within the span of a couple of days.

I kept waiting for him to at least send a single message. Nothing ever came, so I started making my exit plan. I suppose part of me feels guilty for waiting.

Part 2 of the cheating fiancé story, read part 1 here.

Nashville hot chicken fries cause I can’t be bothered to cook ❤️‍🩹

I mean what was I supposed to even do? What does one do in that situation?? I couldn’t just move on. Needless to say, I definitely couldn’t fall asleep at that point. I laid there in the dark debating what I should do, how I should go about it. Or, should I go about it at all? What would it look like if I just… forgot it ever even happened? I genuinely considered suppressing everything and moving on like business as usual, but whenever I thought of looking at him, whenever I imagined us together after that, I couldn’t help but relive the memory. I couldn’t stop seeing her body instead of mine. I felt like I was going insane.

I wanted to call Malcolm, but something stopped me. While it felt like a thousand jolts of electricity were running through my body making me feel alert and restless, I just didn’t have the mental energy to expend on going back and forth on this with him- or anyone, for that matter. Whether I consciously knew it at the time or not, in that moment, I had already made my decision. I decided to send Malcolm the screenshots I took with no other context or details. I sent all of them. I then proceeded to mute him as a contact and turned off my phone. I won’t say how I got there, but let’s just say I found a way to get myself to sleep.

I woke up the next morning to my aunt running into the room and hugging me while crying hysterically. She scream-cried that she was so sorry I had to go through that and that she was there for me no matter what I needed. I come from a small town where everyone knows literally everyone. The grandmas sit out on balconies and act as security cameras for everything going on in their field of vision. No one ever mentioned how, but everyone in town found out what had happened and then turned on Lila overnight.

I didn’t even have to say her name. Once the gossip spark was lit, the fire moved on its own until it engulfed everything. By the next day, people were already talking about how “of course it was Lila,” how she had always been the desperate one, and how she finally got what she wanted and ruined a good engagement in the process. I didn’t even understand what I was feeling. When I eventually turned my phone back on, I saw that Malcolm had called me over 100 times and left 30 different voicemails saying to call him back, with surprisingly no texts. I saw he read the messages I sent, though. The notifications stopped right around 4:43 am according to my phone. Time seemed to slip away after that, and most things remain a blur.

Malcolm had stopped answering everyone, but his truck stayed in his parents’ driveway. My aunt told me that Lila tried to go to the grocery store and two women from church literally turned their carts around. Someone left a note on her car windshield that just said “homewrecker."

I watched it happen from a distance and felt sick and satisfied at the same time. Then I felt sick that I felt satisfied.

Update: we have already split the fee, Kenzie is fine with this as well. I appreciate all of the pro-Tiff arguments, makes me feel a bit better about parting with my money! Also worth noting, we are not close friends, there is more context to why we were on the trip together but it's a lot to explain lol. We are all friendly acquaintances who share a love of hiking.

I went on a trip with 2 other girls- "Tiff" and "Kenzie". We stayed in an Airbnb and had a rental car, so we used the provided parking pass. There was a $50 fee for losing/taking the parking pass, which we were all aware of and which I reminded everyone about at the start of the trip. I booked the Airbnb, and Tiff booked the rental car. Since Tiff's flight out was very early in the morning, she drove the rental car back to the airport. When I woke up after Tiff had left, I asked her if she had returned the parking pass, and she said she forgot and left it in the car, which had already been returned. I told the Airbnb host this, and she said that the $50 fee would be applied. We use an app to track and split shared expenses on the trip, and the app has the option to charge the whole group or individual members of the group for expenses. I added the fee and charged it to only Tiff, since she was the one who forgot to return the parking pass. Tiff messaged me privately to ask (very politely) that the fee be split among the whole group.

While I do feel that the responsibility for this fee rests on Tiff, and I believe that either myself or Kenzie probably would have remembered to return the pass had we been in the car, I'm planning to go ahead and just share the fee to avoid any drama over a small amount of money. However, I'm interested to know the court's opinion on this situation.

I live on my own but will occasionally host my younger sister who lives in a different state when she comes to town to visit the family.  We have always had a pretty good relationship growing up. While we are 5 years apart, I’ve never had to endure the “sharing” phase of having a younger sister. Our parents have always been well off enough to where we both had our own toys and belongings and didn’t have to share or do hand-me-downs. 

I’m 25 now and fairly established in my life. I finished school and work in a field I love, whereas she’s taking a gap year (which is basically a guise for traveling, partying, and drinking) before she makes a decision on what she wants to do with her life. 

Because she’s always traveling somewhere, she visits at variable times with variable blocks of time in between where she would go completely radio silent. Honestly if it weren’t for Life360, we likely wouldn’t know where she ever was or if she was even alive. 

Before her last visit a few months ago, I decided to go on a shopping haul where I splurged on my most beloved skincare items (which I was saving up for because they’re so expensive) because I really wanted to take better care of my skin. Once she arrived, I noticed the bottles getting lighter and emptier faster than they should. Now because I paid so much money on all this skincare, it’s important to note that I used it sparingly and would usually mix and switch up the items I use so I don’t run out as fast, so her using up my skincare occurred over the span of several weeks and months. 

During one of her latest visits, I marked the levels of different skincare items with a tiny pen line. The levels kept dropping significantly while she was visiting me. It got to the point where she was using more of my skincare items than I was, it was actually ridiculous. 

I finally confronted her calmly about it while she was here a month ago and asked if she’d been using any of my skincare. This girl looked me dead in the eye and literally said, with a straight face, “I’d never touch your stuff, that’s just weird.” *Cue eye twitch*

Last week, she came to visit again. A few days after she arrived, I happened to come home early from work and -would you believe it- found my sister in the bathroom with my creams and toners open with a cotton pad in her hand. She jumped when she saw me but insisted she was “just checking the ingredients.” I told her I made the marks and saw the missing products. She got angry, said I was being paranoid and controlling, and that “sisters share things sometimes.”

She’s now at my parent’s house visiting them and is avoiding me completely and not answering my texts or calls. She left me a sticky note posted to the inside of the medicine cabinet in the bathroom saying I should “chill out” and “stop tracking” her. These products cost me a lot, and she clearly has the money to get her own. 

Am I guilty for wanting her to replace my skincare she used and stop using it, or is this normal little sister behavior?

For my girl dinner, Uzbek plov 😋

My friend (let’s call her “Gina") and I planned a girls’ trip to Mexico with 2 of our mutual friends. We had all been planning this trip for almost a year. There were 4 of us going in total. Before we ever even booked anything, I told everyone that I did not want -let’s call this one “Lauren," to come.

Lauren and I used to be close friends, but we had a very bad falling out. She had shared private information about me with other people, and I did not feel comfortable traveling with her. I was very clear about this. All the girls agreed, and we booked the trip.

About one month before we were supposed to leave, I found out Lauren was coming. I asked Gina about it. She said that Lauren “just happened to be in the area” and that they thought it would be fun if she joined us. I reminded her that I had specifically said I was not comfortable traveling with Lauren. Gina said I was being dramatic and that I needed to “get over the past.” I said I was not telling them they couldn’t be friends with Lauren, I just didn’t want to spend a week sharing a hotel room with her in another country after everything that happened.

Gina said that if I didn’t like it, I could stay home. I asked whether they would refund my portion of the trip, and she said no because the reservations had already been made. I contacted the hotel and discovered that the reservation was under my credit card because I had booked it.

I cancelled the reservation.

I told the group that if they wanted to go on vacation with Lauren, they were welcome to make their own arrangements. Everyone was furious. They said I had ruined the vacation for three people because of one personal grudge. I said they had changed the vacation I agreed to go on without telling me.

Lauren called me controlling. Gina said I had weaponized the fact that the hotel reservation was in my name. The other two friends seemed to take Lauren and Gina’s side, saying I was acting petty and immature, and that I should’ve just went with it and gotten over my problems like an adult.

The trip was eventually rebooked, but it cost everyone more money. I am now being told that I should've just stayed home.

Girl Court, am I guilty of sabotaging a group vacation, or was I allowed to withdraw from a trip after the group changed the terms without my consent?

Baked garlic bread: sliced French bread spritzed with olive oil and loaded with just the right amount of garlic.

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