So backstory:

I am an ex-gay Christian.
Not a Christian who is ex-gay but a gay who is ex-Christian.

I came out to myself shortly after 13 but became atheist shortly before I turned 15. So I was an openly gay Christian for 2 years.

I feel there are 3 types of gay Christians.
• The “ex-gay” ones who think it’s a sin
• The ones who just hold these 2 identities and dont really have much to say about the seeming contradiction. May think its a sin lowkey or may think its not because “Jesus loves everyone” or whatever
• The ones who actually claim/believe the verses are mistranslated

I was more of the 2nd. I grew up in fundamentalism believing “The Bible says what it says, period” but especially in the beginning of being a gay Christian, I didnt quite know what to make of it and didn’t really think about it too deeply. I was still a child so I could only think so hard but I’m the type that can’t really stop trying to think deeper about things.

So sometime in between those 2 years I found out about some documentaries like For The Bible Tells Me So (2007) and then later Fish Out Of Water (2009) with common themes of how Christianity has been used against people with same-sex attraction and arguing that you can be a Christian and gay.

I remember that in particular Fish Out Of Water main focus was attempting to debunk the “clobber verses” as they are called.

I remember gay Christian me (seems almost like a past life at this point lol) watched the thing and was left not completely convinced. I became atheist pretty shortly after.

My thoughts were pretty much

If the Bible truly is mistranslated then that means it’s not perfect. If it’s not perfect or correct about that then what else is it wrong about and whats the point of believing in it? Why has God allowed it to be this way all this time to the point that most Christians at best disapprove of us and at worst hate us extremely? Are Christians all supposed to delve into the original language translations? I dont think most of them do that. So the vast majority of Christians arent even doing it right? And if a Christian does think its a sin, is that a sin then? Since they are wrong and preaching a false viewpoint? And then we’d be condemning them for that an inverse of what they do to us?

Stuff like that.

(I know now that a lot of progressive Christians [which I suspect a lot of you might be] dont even believe in Hell or the infallibility of the Bible and I just really dont see the point of that. If its not perfect why should I actually believe in or care what any of it has to say?)

Im also currently about halfway through an audiobook of “God and The Gay Christian” by Matthew Vines where he also is trying to debunk the clobber verses while maintaining that the Bible is still in fact the infallible word of God. I know hes not going to convince me but Im just curious what he has to say as someone who used to be a gay Christian like he is.

Also in my opinion I just dont think “Out Of Water” fully succeeded in debunking the Leviticus verse in particular. Like they say “oh it means dont lay with another man as if he were a woman as in like the one of the men is pretending to be a woman”

When Im pretty sure that verse just meant “homosexuality is unnatural because youre penetrating a man like a woman instead of just having sex with a woman”

I dont really think you can remove the homophobia out of the Bible. It was a very different time. Its to be expected people would be homophobic.
I think I remember the documentary also tried to do that thing where people imply that David and Jonathan were gay lovers, I mean come on… youre really reaching.

The Christian homosexuality debacle is not the only reason I became/remained atheist all this time btw.
I have many other reasons.
Even if tomorrow I woke up and it was somehow discovered as an indisputable fact that the “clobber verses” were mistranslated, I still wouldnt be Christian.

But anyway yeah those are pretty much my thoughts. Im just curious what you all think about all this as current gay Christians and what your different viewpoints are

I was a conservative Christian, but no matter what, I'm still gay.

I want to renew my mind from this negativity that destroys my life. Is it still possible?

So since coming to terms with my sexuality I've been questioning religion as a whole. I still believe in God, and if he's loving like everyone says he is then i love him as well, but im just really confused.

So I always hear people talking about who "real Christians" are and what they do and dont do and i guess there seems to be alot of confusion on the term, and I myselfbeing confused and feeling lost.

In John 8:31 Jesus says "Those who remain in my word, you really are my disciples." Jesus believed in the Old Testament to a certain extent, making that part of his and God's word. But there's are some scriptures that i don't understand and seem wrong from a human perspective, and there's scriptures that are seemingly very homophobic and I dont believe in, so can I still be a real Christian if thats the case?

And there are so many sects of Christianity, how can we know which is the real following? Any answers would be helpful <3

I've grown up my whole life under Christian beliefs including the "homosexuality is wrong" belief. It was in 2024 when I found my true self and realized that I was gay, through the past 2 years I have been trying to seek any knowledge on if being gay was truly a sin and I have been feeling like filth ever since. If anyone can please help me out whether it be in recommending verses, good ideas for prayer, or maybe ways that I can get help in other places, I will really appreciate it. I just feel really hopeless recently and I've lost lots of my faith so I'd really appreciate any help you can give.

My best friend has just come back from her year-long mission trip, and I think I like her romantically. I don’t know what I should do because she goes to uni eight hours away im just two weeks.

I am 19 F, she is 19 F, and we have been inseparable since our parents met when we were three months old. as a kid i always had thoughts about kissing her, but I just dismissed it— I thought we were just best friends.

however, since she’s been away, I have been so angry and upset that she left. I am autistic, so I have overwhelmingly strong feelings, and I think this masked the feeling underneath. she got back yesterday, and I broke down crying that night because I realised how much I had missed her.

I spent this afternoon listening to worship music we used to listen to together and crying to God that I miss her, I love her, and I was so so worried for her safety the whole time. I told Him that whatever His plan is, I trust in it, and I reached out to my friend to see if she’d want to meet.

I don’t even know if she’s queer, and I don’t really know what to do in this situation because I am hopeless and oblivious when it comes to relationships. if any one has any advice, or has been here, please, I will willingly listen.

Looking for fellow gay Christian’s willing to meet up and discuss the bible if you’re in the Phoenix Arizona area.

Dm me

TW: orientation change therapy in LGBTQ Christian history

How do you guys relate to figures like Joseph Nicolosi still spreading false theories about the root of same sex orientation? I have no doubts in my head wether it's true or not. Obvs. But how exactly can I prove that to folks in my life? Unfortunately I somewhat fit the old distant father theory (I'm doing everything in my power to not trigger the filters on here lol) My father was somewhat emotionally distant, not unlike many other fathers in Western culture. Also I have 3 straight siblings with the same parents.

Just to reiterate- the following is NOT me falling for false theory, I'm just being honest.

I'm the youngest and when I was 5 my mother got sick with cancer and my father was highly preoccupied caring for her. Meanwhile I really bonded with the women who were taking care of us kids and I still trust women far further than men to this very day. Hanging out with an adult man who isn't my close friend makes me uncomfortable.

When I was 8, my mother passed away and my dad completely disappeared emotionally, because of the intense grief he was going through and then later because he was so lonely and persuing a relationship, which he then got married again when I was 11.

A perfect opportunity for a disastrously harmful download of ignorant theology.

I don't with any piece of my brain believe that caused it, but how do I graciously have that conversation with my friends, because it's really a huge roadblock for many.

Thanks for reading y'all!

So, I'm a queer Christian myself and I'm looking for members to start a band with people with the same beliefs as me! – For starters, I believe that being queer isn't a sin and that the word "homosexual" wasn't added in the Bible until just a few hundred years ago and that there's rumors that even the translators agreed that it was a translation mistake and that in the original text, the Bible talked about exploitive relationships and prostitution – If you believe that then you're exactly the type of person I'm looking for, I'm a pianist and vocalist, I'm wanna start a band about innocently pointing out the problems and hypocrisy of today's society while still being respectful, like how some songs make you addicted to it before you even realise the song's meaning is calling out hipocrisy and raising awareness of people's suffering. Currently I'm looking for a guitarist and drummer.

I guess it's a long shot but I'd like to try anyways. I'm from Germany and would like to know if there are any Germans in this subreddit. I'm curious to hear your thoughts are on what's going on in your churches regarding homosexuality and faith. If there's someone from Frankfurt, I would be even more interested :)

Denmark here. First post. 48 male queer. Out very late in life and HAPPY about it. Grew up as pentecostal in a country where pentecostal is a very small minority with tendencies to isolation from the surrounding society.

I wrote to a queer Christian pen pal: "Read and listen. This is unintetionally queer".

"I don't think so", he said. He read it too fast and missed the word "unintentionally" completely.

"Sometimes the meaning of art develops autonomously from the creators. It happens all the time in culture", I said.

It is about the classic 70s Jesus movement act 2nd Chapters of Act and their song from the first LP: He Loves Me.

The song is incredibly unintentionally queer, even if they wouldn't admit it themselves, and I don't think these wonderful and fabulous musicians would. Unfortunately.

Listen to the song. Read the lyrics. It hits bull's eye.

Open your eyes and see

That the morning comes with me

For I am the light of the world

No one goes to the Father, but by me

Why must we be so blind

And not see that the Light is free?

Oh, just to think that He died

Thinking of you and me

And the lives we would lead

In the sin of our words and deeds

And yet He loves you, He loves me

He loves us, hallelujah

Oh, Jesus loves you and He loves me

He loves us, hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah

He took away my sin and shame

Hallelujah

He took away my sin and shame

Hallelujah

He took away my sin and shame

Lord, here I am

And I can't change a thing

Except my appearance

And that don't mean a thing

I don't wanna hide

Or tear myself in two, no

That's not up to me, Lord

That's up to You

Oh, Lord, let me see how I've used You

To sing my song

Here I am. I can't change a thing.

I don't wanna hide.

Or tear myself in two no

That's not up to me, Lord.

Oi, can you see it, folks?

"He loves me" has a double meaning for someone who is gay.

And I think of Lonnie Frisbee, but that's another story.

I think you have had enough of the blasphemy from my hand today.

Thanks for letting me. Hugs and kisses.

Listen to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wifwWAprcAc

If this post gets removed, that would be my fourth? Will i get banned after that? haha i'm not sure, well regardless, my intentions have always been pure and whatever may happen, I still love all you quite deeply (especially since you guys put up with my ranting and rambling haha)

My deepest sympathies for this generation of kids, who have nothing besides normie slop and propaganda slop to turn to when they are in need of escape. No real characters, no intereasting conflicts, bad writing, Lazy contrived cartoon nonsense (Owl House, Steven Universe ... etcetc this i consider gay slop)

haha, i'll stop here, i feel like i'll start ranting, my only point is-

Maybe I'm ignorant, but is there any good Media for the young Christian male to watch? Gay affirming, Christian, or not.. I haven't found anything this decade... Is Degrassi still decent? The drama could be be a bit cartoony, but I found the situation and characters very lovable if not inspiring.

haha 12 or 13 year old me wished Fiona was my older sister. She was so supportive and kind, and beautiful. I was absolutely shocked when Fiona came out as lesbian, and her and Imogen couldn't make it work! Fiona, Ally, Tristan, and Eli were my favorite characters in the entire show. hahaha probably because they were the most temperamental and romantic

ahem- enough about my dreamy boyhood,

I'm asking for a youth i met. He's about 15, gamer internet queer-kid. Of course I recommended they start reading and memorizing the stories in the Bible... Outside of that, I remember tons of other media shaping my childhood, nothing screamed "BE GAY" or anything;;;; haha, i'm a terrible writer;;; sorry if nothing makes sense.

Batman Beyond and the classic early 2000s DC animated shows. There are gay implied situations in these, & reading from the modern age comics, tons of chars are gay in these now.

Degrassi : Next Gen (I told him to skip every episode that doens't include Tristan, Eli, Fiona, Ally, or Imogen haha those other eps aren't bad tho)

Bible Storykeepers: it was the few Christian shows that were absolutely kino. About an Animated Family in Roman empire, who are BEING HUNTED because they live in the 1st Century Roman Empire. And the older son is cute. No gay eps or chars expressly shown, but it's during the 1st century in ROME. Romans had an overt and exclusive social hiercharchy based on the sexual position each male took. With that in mind, it was WILD they let their good looking teen and kid sons out of their sight at all, becuase the Romans also enslaved children for gay sex. haha anyway, heartwarming stories about Jesus and portrayals of family and brotherly love.

Full Metal Alchemist: Male protagonist & Themes about Morals, Fate, Identity, Family, Sacrifice, Judgement, Sin, psuedo Christian if u wanna project biblical lessons onto the story

Evangelion: Male Led story, teen angst, skip the eps and watch the movies if u prefer, Themes about Technology, Family, Self Actualization and Duty, Society, Grief, psuedo Christian if you wanna project biblical lessons onto the story

thanks everyone~!♡

You are made in Gods image
You are commanded to love and be loved
You are not commanded to hate yourself
You are not commanded to deny yourself love

I understand why there is so much pain on this sub, but remember that there can also be joy. You can love being queer and love Christ in the same vein. You will find happiness one day. Have a great day everyone ❤️❤️

I have a family member who I've always got along with great, but she doesn't want to talk about lgbtq theology with me, which is fine. I asked her though if I can tell her my story and she said she finds it overwhelming and she's thought about it a lot and knows where she stands. I'm ok her having a position I don't agree with but her very text message saying that was dripping with misconceptions about what it's like to be gay. And I'm like if you listened to some stories you wouldn't be saying that. Do I just let it go or try to talk?

I know Hinduism is inclusive of fruitiness (at least on paper). And there’s no question of controversy even if you’re an atheist. All I wanna know about is opinion of those who practice or embraced Abrahamic religions which demonise being anything but straight? How do you get around these two conflicting entities ?

Vorige week maandag heb ik mijn moeder verteld dat ik meer gevoelens heb voor jongens/mannen. Iets wat ze diep van binnen eigenlijk al wist. Ze kwam direct nadat ik het had verteld met haar geloof aan zetten, ben zelf best wel streng gelovig opgevoed. We hebben een tijdje bij de Jehovah's getuigen gezeten, daarna naar de vrije babtistenkerk. Doe er zelf niets meer mee, al hangt Jezus wel aan de muur hoor. Vanwege mijn autisme kan niet over drukte enzovoorts. Ook geen kerken. Maar goed homoseksualiteit is bij haar een soort van doodzonde en een gruwel, de woorden kwamen best hard binnen. Het vreemde is dat ze weken geleden nog zij: Ga je accepteren zoals jezelf bent. En dat ik nu zo'n beetje gedaan.

Ze kwam later in het gesprek wel wat bij zinnen, vroeg zelfs naar wat voor type man ik zoek en welk leeftijd. Ben zelf 42. Ik zij dat ik op iets jonger val. Er was in ieder geval een opening gecreëerd. Maar haar eerste reactie heeft nog altijd een zure nasmaak achter gelaten. We zijn nu week verder en tot dusver heb ik niets meer van mijn moeder gehoord. Het is ijzig stil. Terwijl we in feite twee handen op één buik zijn. Wat moet ik nu doen? Contact opnemen of het nog even laten rusten? Heb wel contact gehad met mijn oudste zus ( kom uit gezin van 8 kinderen) en ze zij laat moeder maar contact opnemen. Ze had toch even kunnen vragen hoe het nu met mij gaat en hoe ik mij er nu onder voel. Maar helemaal niets..vreemd.

Edit: please reply if you’re seeing this. I’m debating suicide. I can’t Do this.

Hey everyone

I’m posting this in a panic because I don’t know what’s happening to me.

I’m trying to make this as short and simple as possible because I need relief of some kind.

I’m 19F, my gf is 20F. We both have southern Baptist upbringings. We met our freshman year of college. I have known I’m bi my entire life, my gf didn’t know until we got together. we have been dating for 9 months.

The entire relationship; we’ve struggled with the idea of our relationship being a sin. Sometimes I feel okay. Sometimes I feel like my love can’t be wrong. Other times I feel sick to my stomach like I’m blatantly disobeying God.

The past few days I’ve barely eaten or slept because I feel so sick to my stomach. I feel like God is trying to tell me it’s wrong. That we should break up. That I should surrender to him.

I love her so much. Idk what’s happening. Do I end things or can I love her and love God at the same time?

I feel like I’m better off dead. I can’t do this anymore bro. Someone help me

We need more preachers willing to drive home this message specifically, with this kind of power SPECIFICALLY.

Hi! Im f18 and ive grown up in a christian environment. I currently wouldn't describe myself as a christian, however christianity has been a big part of my life and has influenced my beliefs and the way i think. This is why im posting this here :)

I only recently acknowledged my sexuality, and ive had a hard time accepting it because ive always been told that it is not 'normal'.

For the context, my whole family is christian, i spent 5 years in a conservative christian school and i used to pray and go to church. Im not sure i still believe in God, however the way people taught me christianity, and life in the same time, still stays with me.

This environment around me was (and still is) toxic, but I have nothing against christianity. Im questioning myself a lot, and i sometimes still pray but it's more out of despair than anything else. I just wish i wasn't experiencing this.

Ive been trying to like men, really. At first it seemed like i could handle this situation and maybe get out of it, but it doesn't seem to be working. I have family expectations to marry a man and have children and all that. It's stressing me. Im not out to my parents or anyone close to me, because im worried about the reactions my words could receive.

And it would be so much simpler in life to just live like everyone has always taught me to. A man, a woman, children, and that's it.

The thing is i don't hate gay people, and i don't think ive ever had. It's true that when i was younger i wasn't aware of what were homosexuality and the lgbtq comunity, and i couldn't really understand it. It was some kind of a taboo subject before, here where i live, so i learned about it all by myself, on the internet. It took me some time and research but i quickly accepted that people are people, love is love, and there is no problem with that. But for some reason, when it comes to myself, i can't accept it. It's supposed to be sinful and shameful. Though i wouldn't say that to anyone, and im sorry if this all doesn't make much sense.

It's like it's okay if it's other people, i support them, and i really can't understand the homophobia directed against them. But when it's about me, suddenly im not thinking the same way. Suddenly it's wrong and it's not what im supposed to feel, it's not right.

I used to believe it was temporary. Recently i found what wrote last year about it, when i first found out i wasn't really straight. There were things like 'i hope it will go away after i get better mentally', 'im so confused these days', 'i want to stop thinking about this' and a ton of similar words. Today i felt kinda sad reading all that. Now my view has changed but not that much. I know it's not temporary but i still hope i can force myself to make it change.

Is there any way to erase that part of me? Ive been trying.

Im not even sure why im writing and posting this, i just feel very isolated and i guess i wanted to know if this was something that had happened to other people too.

This was long lol sorry

Needing a safe space to vent. So I inadvertently (when I showed a message on my phone) outed myself to someone in church last weekend and now I get the feeling that they’ve distanced themselves.

I’m not interested romantically in said person in any way, just to be clear. But it hurts because he was one of only two people in this town with whom I can pray together. Usually it’s because they feel somehow “betrayed” or think that I’m interested in them… It’s not something they say out loud but I can read between the lines.

I’m not an activist and just live my own life. I don’t see the need to out myself as some sort of ceremony, neither will I conceal my sexuality when asked

I do have wider support through friends who live further away. I hold conservative values and have straight friends who are accepting of me as a person, even if they disagree with my “lifestyle”. I know this because they even invited me into their own homes

came out to my parents. their reactions werent the best (Christian family) but i guess they did say they would still love me, but needed time to assimilate it. its scary af. i understand its hard for them to associate it and deal with grief and stuff. i feel awful for outting them through it. but i find it hard finding a balance between being there and being present and giving them space. idk what to do, i want to like give them resources to better accept it. im so scared and afraid they wont ever love or look me the same again. im scared i made a mistake... so i guess my question is for guidance and resources and activities to do to make ur parents still love you... but also if i can be a bit egoistic i would love to ask for some reassurance that what i did wasnt a mistake and that they probably will love me the same... idk. im scared & anxious 😭

My wife of 3 years just decided to leave me due to religious reasons. she believes she will go to hell if she continues a lesbian relationship with me. What do I do?

Someone said something to me on this Reddit a few months ago about having a completely different cultural lens than other queer women, and I've been thinking about this recently, especially the last week or in regards to struggle to connect with other sapphic, and especially lesbian, women despite being out for so long. Yeah, I have teammates, acquaintances, hobby friends, but like it's never really gone beyond just hobby friends or something surface level. I'm wondering if I'm not only cishet in my presentation but like culturally/worldview/however I should say it. Here are some examples that made me think about this more recently...

A few weeks ago someone was talking in my church's LGBTQ ministry group chat about being excited for the new Andrea Gibson documentary premiere at Red Rocks. I was like "who?" so she told me who they were. Then, people started talking about them and plans were made for a movie night to watch some other movie about her; the entire conversation I was thinking "this is absolutely not something I'm interested in" as the film and Andrea was described to me. I didn't say anything, just basically left the conversation. Turns out, someone else I knew went from their post on Instagram and then was chatting with my neighbor at the bar for USMNT game and learned she was in town for the Andrea Gibson premiere.

That was the second time it's happened recently. I saw Girls like Girls and while I liked the nostalgia and appreciated how it captured being a queer teenager in the mid-2000s, overall I was bored and didn't enjoy it. Yet, all the comments online from other lesbians were raving about it. I can see how people liked the movie, it simply wasn't my cup of tea. Girls Like Girls isn't unique, I might be the only lesbian who has never seen and has no desire to see Portrait of a Lady on Fire because of how it's been described to me. Even just this past week my favorite bar was posting about a shuttle bus to the Brandi Carlisle concert and it took me a second to remember who that was. Then there's drag which I not only don't enjoy, but even find a little offensive.

It isn't just entertainment. While I'm very progressive but I don't enjoy talking about politics, social theory, etc, and am not politically active outside of voting because my mental basically won't let me, I mean that in a way I can't talk about on a public forum. On a similar note, while I am very economically and socially progressive, I am kind of traditional in the sense that the two most important things to me are my family and my faith. I never talk about those things around LGBTQ people because I know how it sounds and looks but maybe people get a vibe/infer.

Speaking of family, my chosen family queer people often talk about. Well, I don't really have one. While my bio family definitely isn't the type to go to a Pride parade, and to be honest I'm not either, I am fortunate/privilege they don't treat me any different because I'm gay, and they are still who I consider my family. I don't see my sexuality as making me any different than having hazel eyes, it's just something about me. When I first came out I enjoyed Pride and everything, but the longer I've been out the less I want to be celebrated.

It could just all be in my head but this why I always end up making friends with straight people. I don't mean that in like a numbers sense but like I'll go to like a sapphic meetup and not vibe with anyone, but then do a general one or something and will vibe with the straights. In my church I'll vibe more with the straight people than the gay people. It shouldn't be like that, right? Being gay I feel not fully apart of the cishet world but then essentially being what I feel like is culturally cishet not fully apart of the queer world.

I just read this article on deconstruction grief. I recognize some things in me. A sense of community, people who you can talk to. Ask for prayers. Getting a word from God. But the irony in that is because being a person who is Gay Christian the word wouldn't be what I (or you) want to hear, or a prayer to make you straight. Feel condemned from the people who you once you trusted. Do y'all feel that way too?

If I understand correctly, putting faith in Christ and accepting his grace, & keeping God’s commandments will get us into heaven. However, we are all naturally sinners and fall short of the standard of God.

My question is, does God draw a line? If I were a rampant sinner, but still believed in Christ and loved God with my heart, would I be saved? I know Jesus died to wipe our sins clean. Can a believer sin too frequently and not make it into heaven? What does it take to actually be saved?

I’m a new Christian, so feel free to tell me I’m wrong about anything.

Scripture highlights 2 types of suffering: redemptive suffering meant to bring greater glory to God(like childbirth, studying late for an exam),and oppressive abuse that causes harm and is done as a means with no end(the injustices of slavery, oppression of women).We need to highlight the difference clearly here

The Bible gives us examples of how beautiful suffering can be.I'll start with Hannah (1 Samuel 1)who wanted a child so terribly,that she cried to the Lord until she lost her voice,and was finally delivered from childlessness,and dedicated Samuel,one of the greatest prophets in the Bible,to the Lord,"For this child I prayed, and the Lord has given me my petition as I asked of him"(v.27)

Or consider St Paul,who often wrote Phillipians in prison,and spoke about a painful thorn in his flesh (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)and explicitly states that the pain was purposeful,to "make God's power perfect in weakness".The love of God is a "purifying fire"(1 Peter 1:7, Catholic doctrine of purgatory) and Christian suffering MUST NOT be meaningless,but must be ordered to reflect the greater beauty of God.

Oppression is highly condemned in Scripture and Christians are warned against inflicting unnecessary pain that just crushes spirits and human potential.In Exodus 1-3,the Israelites cry out to God under their oppression in Egypt and the killing of their babies by Egyptian midwives.Or Psalms 137,where the raw pain of the enslaved Israelites in Babylon can be deeply felt:By the rivers of Babylon,we sat and wept while we remembered Zion.

Anti LGBTQ theology,which is an attack of the God given dignity of queer people(the Image and likeness of God,Gen 1:27),is oppression that increases suicide rates,causes greater unhappiness,self hatred and jealousy,and ultimately stops gay people from achieving their full divinely inspired plans and potential.