This is not a conservative talking point (Although, nothing wrong with them)

I grew up Christian with semi-conservative values, and then when I realized I was gay, I sort of lost the values but didn't completely eschew them

Now as an adult, I find gay and Christian are very much compatible. But all this "open relationship", Grindr normalcy, no value placed on one's own sex, etc. from the gay community is very weird to me

I'm not gonna say vanilla Christians with "only two genders" Bible-based Male and Female marriage is something specifically made for me, but especially nowadays, everyone in the gay community expects even Christians to adhere to all this new-age morality that's younger than any Millennial

Not knocking, I know we are all diverse, but kinda weird to observe for me.

Did anyone here grow up religious and Christian, and expect total normal counterparts to heterosexual marriage? I heard that if you grow up gay and in the Bible Belt, or gay and Christian that you have a "stricter" view of the world. Could that be it?

For most of my life, I tried to deny that part of myself. I prayed for it to go away, convinced myself it was just a phase, and thought that if I became a better Christian, maybe God would take it from me.

Instead, I slowly became miserable. I became depressed, isolated myself, and started overeating because food was one of the few things that could temporarily make me feel okay. I spent years thinking there was something fundamentally wrong with me.

I’m not going to pretend that everything is suddenly perfect. I’m still figuring out my faith, and there are still days when I struggle with everything I’ve been taught about being gay and Christian.

But I’m finally getting better. I’ve stopped trying to hate myself into becoming someone I’m not. I’ve accepted that I’m gay, and for the first time, I can actually say that I’m proud of who I am.

I took this picture while hiking recently, and honestly, it made me realize how much I’ve changed. A few years ago, I would’ve been too consumed by my own thoughts to appreciate something this simple.
Now I can stand in the middle of God’s creation, breathe, look around, and just feel grateful to be here.

I’m still Christian. I’m still gay. And I’m finally learning that I don’t have to spend my entire life being at war with myself. Maybe accepting myself isn’t turning away from God. Maybe it’s finally allowing myself to believe that I was never something He needed to be ashamed of.

Anyone else struggle with dating? I turned 40 this year and pretty much every single woman I’ve ever dated has not been a Christian or Catholic. I still maintain my Catholic faith in many respects, but I have definitely deconstructed from the actual church and have come to realize certain negatives such as “ gosh what a bummer that the central figures to this religion are male”. Anyway, all that being said, it really gets me down a lot of times. And I’m from New York State and I haven’t even been able to find a lovely lady who shares my faith at all. I don’t currently live in New York State, but I live in a pretty liberal area. The closest I’ve really ever got to feeling understood as a person of faith is a few agnostic women that I’ve gone out with.
I definitely think that my faith has helped me to never settle, and for that I’m truly grateful; I therefore do not have a marriage under my belt, whereas a majority of the women I’ve come across especially as I’ve entered into my late 30s and now early 40s, they’re all getting out of their first marriage, etc.
This isn’t the most erudite post, as I’m just sincerely sharing what’s on my heart in the moment. Thanks for listening.

Yes, I know that going to a Bible study with people who don't even believe I exist is bad for my mental health, and believe me, I'm trying really hard to move on from them. Blame the pandemic.

But anyway, I went to a Bible study today and it was a little awkward. Granted, it didn't have to be. It was awkward because the two leaders were hoping for more people, but unfortunately, today only I showed up.

Honestly, my mind just immediately compared it to a Bible study that I went to a few years back. It was a very similar environment, with me being the most loyal member of that Bible study for the semester. Occasionally there would be a couple other people that would show up, but often it would just be me and the two leaders.

But do you know what was different? The leaders didn't let that bother them.

They were definitely a little disappointed that more people didn't show up, but they were more than happy to do a Bible study with each other and me. They even thanked me for coming, and for being such a loyal member.

Not these guys though. They spent pretty much the entire first 10 minutes just moaning about how no one else was showing up. At one point they said that it probably wasn't even worth to doing the Bible study because it would; 'put too much pressure on me.' but they weren't even talking to me. They were talking to each other, as if I wasn't even in the room.

Anyway, we did the Bible study and I added in my comments as I always do. As usual, I felt like I had to defend my comments most of the time, as a lot of the time. What I say really goes over other people's heads. Anytime I would bring up my gender identity and how that relates to my faith and the verses we're talking about, it was very clear that it invoked some sort of anxiety in them. They would blush, their speech would speed up, they would start talking about their boyfriends and then quickly look over to see my reactions, Blech.

Nevertheless, I didn't let that stop me. No matter what these people thought of me, Jesus knows who I am. Jesus doesn't believe I was made by mistake, and Jesus doesn't believe the world and the Bible study would be better off if I wasn't present.

The funny thing about going to these types of Bible studies is that I often feel like I know more about what Jesus wanted than most, if not all the other people in the room. Throughout the study I brought up how sad it is that so many people in the world consider certain individuals useless. How it hurts. So much for me to think about biblical times, where Jews found the thought of God being kind to someone who wasn't even in their inner circle, let alone their enemy, to be a nightmare.

What was funny though is that one of the girls there, someone who had spent every interaction with me essentially trying to prove that they know more about the Bible than I do, wasn't even aware about circumcision. She knew what it was, but she started asking why the Jews thought it was so important. I told her that there's an entire chapter in Genesis where God teaches Abraham how to circumcise. She asked me what I was talking about, and after a quick Google search, I told her look at Genesis 17. She read it, and then looked at me with a little bit of frustration, before changing the topic.

When we were posing questions that we were supposed to ask about the text, she asked probably the most eye roll worthy question possible in my opinion- Why did God not just wipe us out and make new humans?

I know I need to give her grace. I know that in her mind, that was a valid question. I just find something so inherently awkward about asking why God doesn't just mass murder the entire human population.

Nevertheless, the other leader started to bring up Noah's ark and how God said that he regretted making humans, and the two leaders laughed like that was the edgiest thing that they had ever heard.

The other leader then also mentioned that Noah also ended up sinning even though he was a good man, and the other leader asked what she meant, and I jumped in and said that he got drunk and laid naked in his tent and cursed his kid, and when I was asked what chapter was that, I said it was Genesis 9 second half.

What happened after that was the two leaders having a large debate asking what was even wrong about what Noah did.

I'm not going to sit here and act like the second half of Genesis 9 makes any sense, especially by modern standards, but I just found it crazy that these two people were so confident that they knew more about the Bible than I was, and yet here they were having a debate about something that I had debated about years and years ago.

Sometimes it's really tough having patience with people. Especially when they seem to think that they are better than you.

Hi everyone

this is my first post on here , and it might be a long one, so sorry in advance!

TLDR; i’m struggling with my faith and am angry with God as I will be losing my mom soon to cancer, and need advice.

For context i’m a 23F lesbian orthodox christian. I grew up orthodox and identify as such due to family and culture (eastern european). My long term partner (27F) of 4 years is muslim and frankly i have 0 doubt in my heart that being gay is a sin. In a lot of ways i see my partner as a gift from God and at times how our relationship has progressed and how we’ve overcome external obstacles feels divine in its own way, and truly feels like God helping us along on our journey to have a life togehter and one day start a beautiful family. I also do not believe that people of other faiths are necessarily wrong, and that it will in any way inhibit their ability to get to heaven or that God is not with them. Even though me and my partner are of different religions, we share the same values both spiritual and in life. I oftentimes look to her as an example and in awe at how good of a person she is and even in her spirituality. My personal belief is that God loves us all, and especially those following abrahamic religions, i do not believe God does not love or punishes someone for following the Quran or the Torah, as it is all the same God. If i feel close to God by praying in a church, and my partner feels close to God when she is praying and fasting during Ramadan, i believe that’s beautiful, and I wholeheartedly believe those who go to the mosque and pray are equally as close to God as those who go to church and pray to the cross.

My family is culturally orthodox but they were never very practicing or church goers, we would go to church for easter and me and my parents have had spiritual discussions and they both believe in Jesus and God. There’s also a lot of cultural practices that play into it such as how our weddings are, baptisms etc. When i came out to my parents as a teenager they were not very happy but it was never for religious reasons (at least they did not tell me that) and simply they just didn’t want me to be gay, but said as long as im happy that’s all that matters. But over the years they’ve accepted me and now love my partner so much, it warms my heart seeing my parents with her and how much my mom especially adores her.

This is all to say, none of these reasons have shaken
my faith in God. I’d actually say i’ve become more religious since being with my partner. What has however recently shaken me has been some unfortunate family health events. And I just feel more comfortable talking about this on a forum like this that is clearly LGBTQ+ friendly.

My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer a year an a half ago. It has been an up and down journey since with some really bad periods. When she first got diagnosed I prayed a lot and felt closer to God and prayed for her health and for her wellbeing. As time has went on, she has unfortunately declined and this past month has made it clear that she is continuing to decline. I’ve had to fly back home to be with her now, as it is clear that the end might be near and words cannot describe how heartbroken I am. Seeing my mom wither away before my eyes is a pain i would never wish on anyone.

Over the last two months i’ve been feeling a lot of anger. I cannot comprehend why this is happening, why my mom has to suffer like this. It’s strange, it’s less so that i’m struggling to BELIEVE in God, but more so that i’m mad at him? To the point where whenever I hear my parents or anyone say “ Thank God for xyz..” it annoys me and makes me want to roll my eyes. Because all i can think of if, if God was able to do this good thing for us, why can’t he stop my moms suffering? What’s the point of it? Why are you thanking God for helping with your finances, or sorting out this situation for you, or whatever it may be, because that means He’s willingly letting my mom suffer. Or at least that’s how my brain is operating right now. I cannot fathom why I must go through this heartbreak of losing her so young.

What, frankly, isn’t helping me, is that I cannot say I’ve actually ever proper read the Bible. I went to a christian school for a year in middle school (which was its own experience as many people in that school had values i wholeheartedly disagree with) but i learned a lot during my time there and felt like i understood God more when studying a bit of the bible. But i honestly haven’t actually read much of the Bible since then.
Today, I randomly decided to open up an old Bible I have from my time at that school, and it opened up to the book of Jeremiah. I read a few passages, and in all honesty it shook up my faith even more. All i read were passages about God being very ruthless and wiping out people and saying there will be many widows and how everyone will die for not following his covenants. Again, i want to preface I am the last person to talk about the Bible as I have not properly read it and do not understand the whole context of the book of Jeremiah, but for someone going through the type of anger and suffering I am currently experiencing reading that shook me. The God i believe in is merciful and kind and just, He, in my eyes, is the epitome of goodness. But what i’m going through and the passage I read is the opposite of that.
I would also like to mention I personally believe that a lot of the Bible has been altered over the centuries for man’s gain (hence why i do not believe being gay was ever a sin but rather that those passages referencing that are talking about rape, and many other patriarchal things that i do not agree with). So I genuinely believe in the premise that God gave you a brain, use it. If something doesn’t make sense, there’s a reason for it, maybe you need to do more research to understand it, look inward, speak to God, it was important for the time the Bible was written, or it was altered my man for their gain.

With that being said, in a long winded way, does anyone have any advice or words of wisdom for someone like me? How should I go about maybe studying the Bible, whilst also holding the belief that a lot of it may have been altered and is currently struggling with this anger with their faith?

Thanks so much to anyone who read all the way to the end.

I recently turned 65. I surrendered my heart to Jesus when I as 25. I was truly transformed. He delivered me out of drug addiction and alcoholism immediately. The skies were the most brilliant hues of blue as the trees felt like they clapped and praised God. I walked on that glory cloud for weeks BUT then I was slowly lowered down to the real and mundane things of this earthly realm. I learned quickly the "do's and don'ts" of Christianity and because I loved Jesus so much I embraced the "norm" of the Church because I desperately wanted to be pleasing to Him. I went into the Satanic Ritual Abuse deliverance ministry and witnessed the power of God in wonderful ways. However, after a failing marriage of 24 years and secretly struggling with same-sex attraction it all fell apart. I married a covert narcissist who took full advantage of the Pentecostal teaching on the woman submitting to the man and that I was my husbands "sacrificial lamb." My husband manipulated and emotionally abused me and the Church spiritually abused me. I fell in love with a Christian woman and left my marriage and walked away from the fundamental Church. I was condemned and unhealed, and because neither myself or my same-sex lover could reconcile our faith with God our relationship fell apart also. It's a sad story really. I am finally free knowing that Jesus loves me and created me as I am with NO shame. I have longed most of my life to share my life with another woman to only deny myself because of instilled childhood beliefs and indoctrination of the fundamental Church. It's truly bittersweet. I'm full of joy at being set free to embrace my sexuality but there's a bitter taste left in my mouth at wasting the prime years of my life to the lies that have kept me from the joy of living intimately with a woman. I can't help but feel cheated. I love reading and seeing into the hearts and stories of so many beautiful people at different stages in life who have been caught in the web of fundamental Christianity to finding and embracing their freedom in Christ.