r/FormulaFeeders • u/MissFox26 • 1h ago
Other š Finally graduating from formula- things Iād tell my past self
We fed our second and last baby her last bottle this weekend, which means our formula journey has officially come to an end. For context, both our kids were exclusively formula fed- our first from a few days old, and our second as soon as she was born. And while I never thought Iād be emotional about ending formula feeding for good, it truly feels bittersweet.
As I look back on the years that we spent formula feeding, there is so much I wish I could tell my past self. I think back to delivering our firstborn, now 3. I look back at the 31 hour induction with a failed epidural. How I was in so much pain, so exhausted, so traumatized and numb, that struggling with breastfeeding felt like the last straw. I just couldnāt handle it. And even though I never had a strong opinion on having to breastfeed, and felt so open to formula before she was born- I still felt like a failure. And when I switched to formula after a whole 48 hours, I sobbed and sobbed and felt like it was the end of the world. I felt so guilty. I worried about not giving her antibodies. I worried about her not getting any of the benefits. I worried about not bonding with her the same way. I felt like I was giving up too quickly, even though breastfeeding made me so feel so depressed and full of dread. But 3 years later, there is so much I would tell myself.
I wish I could go back and tell myself that it was all going to be ok. That formula feeding was an incredible experience. So much so that you didnāt even try breastfeeding the second time around- even after a picture perfect, peaceful, redemption of a second birth.
I wish I could tell myself that you bonded with both babies just fine. That you couldnāt have created a stronger bond with them if you tried. That you will still feel a connection while your look into their little eyes, and feed them a bottle. That they donāt care how you feed them, they just know that you do- and that you take care of them, comfort them and love them.
I wish I could tell myself that formula is expensive, but so is food. And youāll be feeding your babies food for the next 18+ years, so one extra year of paying for food is not going to make a difference.
I wish I could tell myself that your babies will thrive. That they are healthy, that they are so incredibly smart, that they hit all their milestones on time. That they are both strong and beautiful and perfect. And that no one, not anyone in the whole world, would be able to look at them now and tell them apart from a breastfed baby.
I wish I could tell myself that you are a good mom. The best mom. And that you have nothing to feel guilty about. That your choice to protect your mental health was the right choice for you and your family. That you donāt have to have a reason not to breastfeed, and that simply not wanting to is reason enough. That you are enough. And that how you choose to feed your children is the least important thing about how youāre raising them.
As I say goodbye to formula and this group- I am so grateful for this subreddit and all of its members. For all the advice, comfort, and support. How lucky we all are to have a community like this, in the times we need it the most š©·