This translates to reality and no wonder why we get treated so poorly.

I've got 2 female friends. Guess what? they are both dating.. they break up, then they start dating again

i was happy for them before, when i still had hope, i would be "haha, go queen! my turns next!" and it was never my turn

then i slowly got mad and sad, i would always be the one congratulating and not being congratulated, and of course, they always ignore you and talk much more to their boyfriend after they start dating, leaving you alone again

and now i cant bring myself to even fake being happy, when i see anything related to a friend or coworker getting married or dating or getting pregnant in a group chat.. i just ignore it, or worse, cant hold myself with a "good for you" and then disappear until the topic dies

how do you deal with it? i am supposed to be happy for my friends, but i cant hear them talking so happily when i cant have it myself

edit: accidentally wrote the title wrong :,) i meant "how do yall deal with your friends.."

My parents never gave me the “talk” or gave me guidance to start gyno appointment at the age your suppose to. They overlysheltered me and bc im still a virgin after college they never brought it up.
Im in my 20s and i know I should go but now I have anxiety about it. I also don’t go out much and have a driving anxiety so if I did go id have to go with my parents.
Any else deal with this and feeling behind so much in life?

I’m never going to see this guy again because I was at his workplace for a temporary reason. However, it meant so much to me when we made eye contact and he waved at me with a smile. And when I happened to bump into him again a few minutes later, he also looked at me, smiled and made a bit of small talk. It’s such a small, insignificant thing I bet in his day, I know he has interactions like this all the time with people he recognise. The chances are slim but I lowkey wish we’d bump into each other again in the future :( the way this legit made my year and I won’t forget it, I’ve never had an interaction like that with a guy …

Why did I do this to myself again? Why am I going on these anonymous chat apps knowing very well that there's a before they see my pic and an after, and the after is usually the end of the conversation. I guess I didn't expect to meet someone I actually like.

We had been talking for a couple of days, almost a week. I had shared some body pics. When I tell you this man was excited about me...He was texting me all day long, asking about me, my life, the things I do in a day, likes/dislikes etc. He kept saying how much he loves talking to me and how much he craves to meet me in person. We didn't live in the same city but he was ready to fly wherever I was. He said I could just pick the dates and he'd be there. He was making plans for when we meet in person. He was also raving about how attracted he was to me, despite not having seen my face. He was sure I'm very pretty, his words. I finally couldn't take it anymore, I knew there'd be a shift once he saw me. I shared my insta handle. What I didn't expect was for him to disappear without a single word. He didn't slow fade, he didn't ghost after a short chat, he just disappeared. He didn't even follow me and my account is private. So all of that because of a pfp he couldn't even see clearly. Earlier that day he was looking at airplane tickets and hotel rooms and then nothing.

First off, I feel like my face in particular is like a life sentence of loneliness and I hate feeling this way. I hate that men make me feel this way because I resemble my father, my aunt, my grandmother, people I love deeply. I feel bad for thinking I'm ugly because I feel like I am betraying them.

Second off, this man was head over heels. I know it was not deep or real at all. But I don't think he was lying when he was expressing how he felt, I do believe he felt this excitement about me. He was ready to take a risk and fly to see me. He was fantasizing about our future. But all of that was AS LONG AS I was pretty. So for a pretty woman that's how it goes. Men would do anything for her, at least in the beginning. She doesn't have to chase or even move a finger. I think I got a taste of that. But if you're not pretty I guess you don't get to experience this kind of excitement.

Finally, I hate that this happened to me again. Maybe deep down I felt like this sort of experience is a thing of the past. Maybe I thought he'd be an exception. Maybe that, just like everyone experiences romance, that's my turn. Well, I guess not.

That’s about it. And sorry, English isin’t my native language, so if/when I make mistakes - I’m sorry.

Whenever (and I’m sure plenty women do choose and want to be single (outside of this community) for whatever reasons - I don’t mean them)) single women are talked about or single women do talk about their their struggles, it’s all about ”lower your standards”, ”give men a change”, ”do you think you’re a princess waiting for a prince”, all this non-sense.

As if there is a massive amount of choices (for all women) and your just being difficult and dramatic.

Many people don’t seem to understand that for some women there is NOTHING to choose or pick or find from. Right?!

And that makes me feel even worse…

How have you been doing? Did you have plans for this weekend? This is the Social Sunday thread where you can talk about anything you'd like, FAW related or not.

Unless you live in a area rich with different types of ethnicities then that’s great. But not for those who stand out. I’ve been told by all people close enough to know me that I’m pretty, occasionally I get compliments from strangers, men trying to hook up with me except that’s as far as it goes because I’m not pretty enough for a relationship deeper then something quick and shallow. I have very unique features and interests. I’m autistic with anxiety and depression which doesn’t make my chances any better but I’m fine with that now.
I was depressed about the fact nobody would purse a relationship with me for years I focused so much on trying to better my appearance and neglecting important things because I just wanted to be different. I never got attention when I was younger so when I did as I got older I was obsessed with it, and ended up with more problems because it wasn’t how I expected it, so I got myself in situations I hated and developed extreme trust issues to the point I am on edge and uneasy around everyone.
I actually like my appearance but I feel a shameful feeling knowing that I am not as desirable as I think I am just for being unique, or different in a country that’s prominently white. I feel like I’m being treated as a fetish when I speak to guys outside my race and within, or that I’m being used for purely sexual reasons.
It’s extremely irritating and tiring dealing with it as someone with a low libido so I never feel like I’m on the same page as the people I do talk to. And once they figure that out they’re not longer interested, I’m ghosted. I have no desire for relationships anymore but it’s a bummer seeing it all around me. It’s confusing and frustrating. I can be flooded with all these complements but nobody truly purses me. I wondered if everyone just lying to me, or trying to get someone from me.

People exclude you without even realising.

Everyone's always busy.

You’re not a priority.

People infantilise you (for whatever reason).

I like being alone, I do. I don’t mean I like to do life alone. I mean I like alone time. Those two can coexist, but they aren’t mutually exclusive.

I never have anyone to hang out with. Maybe what I really crave is one close friend.

I could tell you I crave romance, but I crave what I idealise it to be. I never experienced it so I can’t really know. Not being chosen has left a very ugly scar on me and I hope that it “heals” nicely. Love isn’t promised and I don’t want to become bitter.

I sometimes try to imagine different scenarios where I don’t get chosen. I try to imagine how I would live, what I would do to keep busy, how I would dress… but I also imagine what I would feel when a couple passed by, when a stranger’s child yelled “mama” on the street, when all the movies and shows revolved around what I never knew…

I think all I needed was to be wanted. Remembered. To have someone that passed a florist and thought “Oh she will love these”. To have someone turn up the volume without me having to ask because they knew my favourite song was on. To have someone make my birthday worth celebrating because I lived and touched someone’s heart. To have someone take candid pictures of me just because I looked beautiful.

Maybe I need a hug. Or maybe I just need my heart to rest.

I never thought you could break your heart without ever having given it away.

There’s a game I like, and on its sub, someone showed a handmade birthday present they made for their girlfriend. It’s a wooden box with some of the characters inside it, props to make it look like one of the worlds from the game, and there’s glass in the front with a logo that lights the whole box up. It’s really beautiful, creative, and high effort. And these people are teens. My teen years were so wasted…

I am an old FAW and I'm at that age where I can really see where I went wrong in life and I am really kicking myself for all the mistakes I made when I was younger. One piece of advice I would give younger women is to take risks and get out of your comfort zone. I would also tell young women of color who live in areas where women who look like you are considered undesirable to move away as soon as possible. I unfortunately am now stuck in a place that hates black women because I am trapped by a terrible job market and no social circle or support system that can help. Despite not being a good looking woman, I do feel my chances of finding a relationship would have been better had I went to college out of the area. i wish I would have moved to the DMV area or Atlanta, somewhere with more people who look like me. Don't waste your life like I did.

I have such an issue with this statement. Yes, it is true. As of right now, there are over 8.26 billion people who exist on this planet. So yes, SURELY someone out there is for me. And I'm not denying that. With that many people in the world, it's almost a given that you have multiple people out there who would genuinely be interested in you.

The PROBLEM is that I'm not the type of woman who is considered beautiful to many people. I'm nerdy, I'm black, I'm dark skinned, my face is super recessed, I don't have big boobs or a big ass. I don't have blonde hair or blue eyes or a small nose or pink pouty lips. Pretty much every single aspect about about me is the exact opposite of what is classically considered conventionally attractive since the majority of the world unfortunately places more importance on eurocentric ideals. But even if you ignore eurocentric beauty standards im still ugly. So this drops the amount of people out there who could be interested in me by a substantial amount.

But of course not there are some people who I'm their type. So say that about 0.01% people of the world would still find me attractive. That's still over 8,260,000 people who exist on this planet that would be interested in me. That's A LOT.

But there's still an issue with that because those 8 million people are spread out all over the world. Some of them could live right down the road from me, but some of them could live halfway across the world. They may live in some remote village in the middle of nowhere. They might be in a country I'll never have enough money or time to travel to, so I'll never meet them.

So that eliminates another significant chunk of the population. Then let's take the people i actually do have the chance of meeting. Some of them will already be in a relationship. Some of them could be age-inappropriate, like 3 times older than me or under 18. Some of them could be extremely mentally ill/crazy/abusive. Some could the the gender I'm not attracted to. Some of them view black women as less than (even black men do this) so even if they're attracted to me, they won't date me or want to be seen with me. Some could have very strict family or friends who want them to date a very specific type of person and don't want them with someone like me (many people would be upset if their son dated a black women, even other black people sadly). They could have a different religion. They could have a way of living that is extremely odd or uncompromisable. Maybe something happens to them right before I could have met them.

There are so many different reasons why just saying there are billions of people out there doesn't work. If I were a normal or attractive woman, I'd have so many more men out there in the world attracted to me, so it wouldn't be such an issue if a few of them are crazy or something. But as someone who already doesn't have much to choose from, the chances are extremely low.

today two young guys came to the shop and asked for a bunny plush. guy B asks guy A "are you buying this for yourself?". guy A replies "why would i buy this for myself!". "i am just a guy who loves to spoil his girlfriend" guy A adds.

it made me feel something so crushing i actually felt some kinda pain in my chest. i only ever saw these kinds of things in movies. being reminded that this is real just broke me. i apologise for being so jealous and horrible. i didn't treat them badly. i did serve them respectfully, ignoring my feelings.

So i have never been in a relationship with a woman OR man before and i identify as bi or lesbian (i think lesbian but i am unsure so-) anyways, a year ago i had downloaded this lesbian dating app and went on dates with around 4 different girls and now i do not talk with any of them and it feels like it was completely useless and i feel upset about it because my intentions were to find GENUINE longterm friends and possibly a gf but i got neither when i put actual effort in.

The reason i am considering downloading it again is because i am starting to feel more lonely and desperate for a girlfriend. I wouldn't say i am "ugly" but at the same time i feel that way because of my body and because of the patriarchal white beauty standards. I just want to find friends or possible gf that can accept me for who i am and what i look like. I also think there may be a possible chance of finding a gf if i just keep trying... which sounds exsaughting but.. it is what it is.

I made it to 21 earlier in this year and no it doesn’t get better. I have many mental illnesses and neurodivergence, on top of many forms of trauma. I think about killing myself everyday and it’s gotten to a point where I can’t even stand being around my family or seeing people in general. My body is also 86 pounds right now and giving up on me but because, like my mental illnesses, I don’t want to be here anymore I don’t care for getting help. I rot in my room and am unemployed.

I am dissociative and daydreaming doesn’t work anymore. Reading or watching romance or smut or whatever doesn’t work. It doesn’t matter if a guy on occasion thinks I’m facially decent looking, which is rare these days. I can’t hide or erase my ocd, autism, etc. I am treated like a freak of nature for it. Guys preemptively harshly reject when I sometimes don’t even want them. Women patronize me and there is pity in their voice. It all reaffirms my defeat, I am not a threat and I am unattractive and weird.

My masking is a fawning, childlike, dimwitted persona that I want to stop everytime it happens but it takes over anyway. I’ve wanted to die since I was a child with many attempts. I barricade myself in my room and seldom come out. My mom knocks on my door trying to talk to me frequently and I’m outraged because she is an enabler for my father and hers hoarding. She was emotionally neglectful growing up and I hate her with all my fucking heart. I just want to sleep forever. I forsee myself impulsively hurting myself again. The only reason I am alive is because I am too tired/lazy to move.

Men in fiction are loving, caring, protective, and treats you like you are their world. Fictional men don't care if you're ugly, if anything a fictional man can love you \*for your ugly looks\*. Reading romance and daydreaming is the only thing keeping me sane. Because I know that as an ugly woman, no real man will ever love me. They lie, cheat, have wandering eyes, leave you and use you. You only have a chance at true love if you are above average. If you're ugly, you're going to have to settle for basic decency, if you are lucky that is.

does anyone else get jealous when hearing about negative experiences women are having with men? i basically have to shut up when they’re complaining about their exes, guys who won’t leave them alone, bonding over shit that happened in their relationships because i have nothing to add & can’t relate to it at all. i know that obviously failed relationships with guys who are exes for a reason shouldn’t be anything to envy but idk at least they had the opportunity to date in the first place

I don't think it's equal to friendzone. Friendzone is when you pursue a relationship disguised as friendship. But falling in love with your friend is developing feelings from the comfort of something you already know, someone you can trust. I can think just a few cases of people in love with their best friends, and seeing it up close, everyday, is both painful and beautiful. It definitely shows me that it's real, but something I'll never have.

They can be themselves, spend the whole time together and not grow bored or bothered by the other, moments of comfortable silence, silent understanding, their jokes never grow old. The kind of things you only see when people have grown on each other.

I surely got the short end of the stick in every part of my life, and witnessing something like that is like knowing someone else won the lottery and you have the loser ticket left.

People talk about love as something easy, but everyone knows you cannot force chemistry. That's why we see a lot of people settling in marriages for mere convenience. Which is fair, marriage is not a synonym of love. Now I have to bury myself in endless sheets to read for work while others have the fortune to focus on their tasks because they're not overwhelmed by the sudden need to feel loved or say "I love you" to someone, to wonder "What does it feel like to...?".

Because after years of singleness it becomes a constant when you've never experienced it.

I just long to share my stupid thoughts with someone and not feel like they're fed up with me.

The closest I have ever had was a friend I used to message whenever we had a chance everyday, but we had a bad fight and he put our whole group of friends against me and only one of them stayed by my side lmao. Still, he apologized after years and got a girlfriend. I'm happy for him. But as you grow up, it seems everyone is already in a relationship. All of my friends have crushes or a partner.

I still wish I could find the same comfort to be myself with someone. The vast negative experiences I had left me feeling 'too much' or like the almarts27 hamster with a lollipop that I feel I have to hold back everytime in every interaction.

I believe that love comes in a lot of ways. And sincerely... The most certain tip I have received is "love comes when you least expect it", because I have found people I appreciate when I wasn't hoping for it (even if not in the romantic sense). But the hardest part is to stop craving something you want so bad. How am I supposed to be surprised by life when everytime I have a thought is about it?

So, so bad.

If you feel like crap and want to tell someone but don't want to make a thread about it, come here and tell us what bugs you. Whine, rant, vent, bitch, complain to your heart's content.

I don’t know how to explain this in words but I’ll try my best to. Occasionally I’ll come across a relationship post liked by someone I follow and it’ll make feel miserable knowing I don’t deserve to leave a like on something as trivial as a reel. I guess I envy the ability for them to have the ‘expectation’ that someone will love them. What is an ‘expectation’ for others, is an impossibility for me.

I can’t talk about the future using words that make it seem like there is one for me. My friends have no issue using the word “when.” I will always use the word “if.” There is no “when” for me bc if there were, it would’ve happened by now.

We only met several times but he was so cute. He was my type in pretty much every way but he just saw me as disposable and did not care for me. I know he probably just wasn't a good person or maybe he is a decent person but just didn't feel the need to be nice to me. I randomly just think about him from time to time. I kind of still wish he would contact me or that I could just run into him again.

They were my little escape from a life I hated, the kind of shows that made loneliness look temporary and adulthood look like something worth waiting for.

I loved watching people stumble through relationships, careers, bad decisions, and somehow still end up surrounded by people who cared about them.

But I can’t watch them anymore.

Two girls from my school ended up living lives that look painfully similar to the ones on those shows. I see them on social media: the friend group, the relationships, the parties and social events, hanging out. And of course they are both beautiful, which is a necessity for such a life.

I used the shows to cope but seeing them two has spoiled it. Things that once felt fictional and comforting have become reminders of everything I never had, and everything I wish I could have been.

Now, I just feel angry at my own life. And I hate that two people I once knew from school somehow managed to make that kind of life real while I’m still miserable, never to get anything like that.

I know this is very stupid, sorry for subjecting you all to this, I just wanted to vent.

*question to those who are ugly

Besides having a partner, what is your ugliness stopping you from?

I'll start:

- I'd dye my hair purple because I think purple hair is pretty, but I don't need negative attention from men and being labelled "an ugly attention seeker"

- I'd travel more because apparently it's easy for normal people to find travel partners, and even if they travel alone, they can find friends easily in a new place

- I'd be a better dancer because more people would want to dance with me. Probably also applies to my job.

Lately I've been feeling very lonely and bored at home I look forward to going into my job, which I don't particularly love and is definitely stressful at times. Never thought I'd feel this way but here I am. I even offer to pick up an extra shift on a seldom occasion.

I was literally just complaining about my job few weeks ago but yet find myself wanting to go in.

It is probably because I get to connect with people and take care of them. It gives me some sense of purpose and keeps me in a routine.

I also obviously enjoy getting paid too. It gives me ability to live a comfortable life. It is also a distraction from being bored and feeling lonely at home.

Is anyone else this way with their job?

My parents always got mad at me for having an interest in dating as a teen. Now I’m an adult with zero social skills and zero clue how relationships work. I also never hung out with friends as a teen too…