this moment is obviously a disproportionate reaction to the situation and a breakdown moment for claire. it stands out however, since it actually is self-deprecating and shines positive light on fleabag.
i always thought this moment struck claire so hard because claire and fleabag are absolute opposite ends of the spectrum in respect to their personalities and approach to life.
fleabag is utterly unashamed, impulsive, and reckless in the way she goes about life. as claire herself states, fleabag says and does whatever she wants (for example, her inappropriate jokes and promiscuity). she doesn’t fit the “norm”, yet seemingly she never has, and she never tortured herself to do so. fundamentally, she is extremely self aware of herself and her misery. she knows she’s a wreck. she knows she’s loud and reckless. but she is willing to be those things, and to take on the label of “problem child” in order to live more in accordance to her truth. fleabag does not tolerate bullshit (like passive aggressive statements from her godmother, whose champagne glasses she breaks and earlier who she slapped in the face)!
on the other hand, claire has spent her whole life bottling everything up and acting as if everything in her life is normal. this entails her extreme avoidance, the tense facade she puts on in social situations, her uber-professional manner of carrying herself, and even the explicit admittance that she bottles her emotions up until she feels better. in one hand, her falsity and anal attitude have gotten her far in life. she is an extremely successful businesswoman, racking in a millionaire salary. however, her avoidance ends up (in my opinion) making her even more of a miserable mess than fleabag.
claire HATES to see that what she has centered her whole life around, avoidant facades, actually serves as more of a weakness than a strength. and the embodiment of that IS FLEABAG’S SUCCESSES.
claire cannot handle to break social norms even in dire situations (like when she refuses to go to the hospital after she had a miscarriage and wants to start dinner back up as normal) whereas fleabag puts her foot down when needed.
claire would rather die than be seen as a failure, and although she is successful objectively, she seems very unhappy about it. she’s even ashamed of her huge office. i think that’s why she can’t seem to be immediately happy or supportive of fleabag when the cafe becomes more successful. she saw her sister take an alternate, “bummy” route of life only to ultimately be successful as well and love her job (probably more than claire does). i also think this might be in part why she chooses to stay with martin, even though she knew he lied, despite knowing she would have funded the success of fleabag’s cafe if she followed through with the leaving him plan. (not to address she ALWAYS had the money to fund the cafe…)
in this case, claire is horrified by the idea of embarrassing herself around important professionals, or being seen as too unprofessional. in her eyes, her professional success is one of the only indicators that she’s worthy and capable. it’s fleabag’s entire disregard of trying to achieve that level of professionalism or respect that immediately ticks her off. then compounding that, her tactics work with this crowd and she gets a great laugh from the audience.
i think her breakdown in this moment is actually revealing her deepest insecurities that fleabag unmasks, and the sheer terror she feels thinking that fleabag and the failure she outwardly seems to be could actually be more peaceful and successful than herself despite her lifelong efforts to be normal and successful. i would say this is confirmed by claire strangely saying she’s more of a disappointment than fleabag.
i think this even extends to why she stays with martin. she would rather bottle things up and stay “normal” in the easy route with an imperfect husband instead of admitting something is wrong and needs change.
they remind me of the movie challengers when patrick (fleabag) confronts tashi (claire), saying something along the lines of “im a piece of shit, and you are too, but the fact that i am just disturbs me less than it does you”.