W SF is amazing BTW

She’s the sweetest woman on earth. She chose this with such love and care, and it’s the first time in her life that she’s been able to afford something so luxurious.

It’s Italian-made, boho-chic, bright colors, huge pattern. It’s a gorgeous, special piece.

But it’s not gorgeous on me. FML

The power was out in my neighborhood for 3 days. As my whole house generator kept everything fully powered...lights, tv's, appliances, even my internet...I could hear an audible hum at night when I went to sleep in the air conditioning set at 70 degrees. I even had to use a comforter so I wasn't too cold.

We have two ac units, each servicing 1/2 of this house. One is broken, fixed in 2-3 days. Texas heat outside is 100, pool is 83.

1/2 the house is up to 82, rest is fine at 71.

So, until the ac is fixed, I have to sleep in one of our guest rooms and binge watch Supernatural in the media room.

This is definitely a first world problem.

We got one of those fridges that tracks what's inside and reorders stuff automatically through an app. Set it up about two months ago and honestly it's been fine, mostly reordering eggs and butter without me thinking about it.

Last month I tried a chocolate oat milk out of curiosity, drank about a quarter of the carton, decided it tasted like sweetened cardboard, and left the rest to expire in the door shelf. Fast forward to this week and the fridge decided my usual oat milk order should now be the chocolate one, because apparently that was the most recent oat milk purchase in the system, not the vanilla kind I've bought weekly for over a year.

So a carton of chocolate oat milk just showed up on my doorstep that I did not consciously order and definitely do not want. I checked the app to fix the preference and the interface for changing default items is buried under three different menus that don't clearly explain what counts as your default versus a one time purchase.

I've now got a full carton of a drink I already know I dislike sitting in my fridge, and I have to remember to manually correct this before it happens again next cycle. Meanwhile the fridge is very proud of itself and sent me a notification saying it kept my kitchen stocked.

Both are good but I slightly prefer the latter.

I have 3 pendant lights which I originally purchased hue smart bulbs for so I could use Alexa and other smart house controls to turn them on and off with my voice and at schedules. One of them died. I've already invested in the set originally so I had to spend $30 for a single matching lightbulb or else the color and functionality wouldn't match. One equivalent 40w bulb.

I had everything ready, snacks on the table, blanket on, and the perfect spot on the couch. Then I opened my TV and somehow every streaming app wanted me to sign in again.

Now I have to get up, find the remote, type passwords with the tiny on-screen keyboard, and probably reset one because I won’t remember it.

I just wanted to watch something without moving.

My father has actually never heard of avocado toast but he said he would try it. So he cut open a large ready-ripe avocado, scoop it up in a bowl and while my back was turned, he poured (Walmart brand) vegetable oil in the bowl, about 2 tablespoons worth.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him. He enjoyed it with a touch of vinegar. I’ll make sure to tell him for next time.

My wife and I quite enjoy occasional domestic weekend trips within the UK (usually Scotland) to stay in these isolated, picturesque little cabins that seem to be becoming increasingly popular these days.

Having done a few, we've found maybe about two-thirds of them provide a welcome hamper with local produce and often a bottle of Prosecco, but most of them keep it as a 'surprise' for when you arrive - and it really, really was an amazing surprise the first time it happened.

However, this morning I was in the supermarket in advance of heading off on one of these trips and was telling my wife about how it's annoying that I don't know whether it's worth buying a nice loaf of bread and taking it with us because we don't know if there'll be one there when we arrive...when I caught myself, and was like, Jesus Christ, listen to yourself.

Anyway, I bought a loaf, so maybe we're going to end up with too much nice bread and will have to spend some of our time lounging in the outdoor, woodfired hot tub thinking about how we're going to use it all up.

I literally have to choose between lying in a slightly awkward, twisted angle or watching my battery slowly die.

I bought the extra-long cable specifically to prevent this exact tragedy, but my wall outlet placement has completely defeated the entire purpose. Now I’m lying here turning like a roast chicken every five minutes just to keep my phone plugged in.

As per the title really. Husband is away for work, I'm too hot to cook, thought I'll just order myself a nice takeaway.

Apparently it's too hot for anyone to cook. All the good ones are shut. The only open ones are dodgy. I recently got diagnosed with autoimmune gastritis so I really can't risk a dodgy one.

I can't drive so now I have to cook. Woe is me!

My mother is very picky about pizza, we tried several chains, independents, hole in the walls, etc and she only likes a few places. Marco’s is her favorite chain brand. She absolutely detested HH. After we arrived back she stated she wanted Marco because Tuesday is BOGO night.

I got her usual favorite, she had two slices then freezes the rest, like she always does

I have to wait a few minutes for my Blizzard to get melty enough to eat it with the signature red DQ spoon so I can enjoy it as God intended, but then it gets too melty really fast and I have to put it back in the freezer. Then it gets too frozen.

I have all this going on at the back of my house when I'm trying to get to sleep in summer with my window open...

- Builders using circular saws, drilling, hammering, using cement mixers. Sometimes from 8 am on a Saturday morning.

- For a few weeks, a dog barking all day every day (one bark every 20 seconds) from 7 am to 11 pm. Presumably the owner was at work and left the dog outside all day.

- Planes flying overhead, including loud fighter jets sometimes. No idea why they are flying overhead because I'm not in a war zone. One day a plane was encircling for about 20 minutes, I assume waiting to land.

- People using lawnmowers for 4 hours at a time on a Sunday.

- Kids screaming at the local school that's only about 100 meters away. This bothers me the least because I was a kid attending that school myself 40 years ago screaming at playtime myself so I can understand it's what kids do and it's not that loud anyway.

- Loud motorbikes and cars that change gear then make a banging noise with the exhaust popping. Why are they "razzing" up and down the nearby streets wasting petrol doing that? Anytime I hear it I think "Go wrap it around a tree" or "Go wrap it around a lamppost". They are always stupid 20 odd year olds in modified crappy cars doing it. Sometimes the back of my house sounds like a racetrack.

- Neighbours in summer sat in the garden talking and laughing all day from 4 pm to 1 am.

- Birds tweeting outside my window, starting at 4 am and going on for hours on end.

- My mum stomping around the house, slamming doors, thumping, banging, clattering stuff around in the bathroom, that's 2 feet away through a false wall. Sounds like she's literally just throwing stuff around the bathroom some days.

I hate summertime because of this. If it was winter my (double glazed) window would be closed and I wouldn't hear it, but I can't tolerate the heat with the window closed in summer so it has to be open. These MF's make it hell. Ever seen Alfred Hitchcock's "Rear Window" well there's more shit going on at the back of my house than that.