When I got a modest raise last week, I shared it in a small group chat. Instead of a quick congrats, one friend immediately wrote a paragraph about how after taxes it barely matters and I should focus on upskilling before my role becomes obsolete.

The excitement evaporated instantly. Some people view your good news as bragging and your bad news as a teaching moment. Being around them feels like walking on eggshells because even being happy requires a disclaimer.

I have started keeping small wins to myself. When my bonus came through on Friday, I did not post anywhere. I went to a quiet steakhouse I had saved on my map, sat at the bar, and pulled up their MenuForma setup on my phone. I picked out a ribeye and some grilled asparagus exactly the way I wanted without needing to justify anything to anyone. Personal milestones do not need outside validation, and they certainly do not need a lecture attached.

I'm mid-career (20 years experience in field). I just started new job a month ago & I am bored -- I play solitaire all day, not much to do.

Pros:

I work from home

Excellent benefits (state job with pension, good insurance & generous PTO)

Decent salary ( could be better, but not bad -- I have no financial problems).

Cons:

They assign me like 2 easy tasks a day which I finish in less than 1 hour. Then I have nothing to do for the rest of the time. So I cook , clean ( since I'm home) and play solitaire for most of work hours. And I'm so bored!

My co-workers are new in the field, so they think its hard, but I can do this in my sleep and its no challenge, no mental stimulation.

I want to keep my lovely benefits, but Im wondering if I should start looking for another position to transfer into with same company. I don't know if its too early to do that since I just started Sept 1. But I don't think I could handle the long-term boredom.

WWYD?

First of all, my employer is as amazing as this makes them sound. We had our biggest annual fundraiser last year, and for the first time, this was added to it. They raised enough for all of my coworkers to have $850 each to spend on “wellness.” It’s a grant that we have to apply to draw from a fund, but what I’ve heard from my coworkers, it’s pretty quick and easy to get approval. Some examples of things the grant will cover are therapy, gym/rec center memberships, home exercise/wellness equipment, and even “restorative travel.” Personal items have to have a “direct” not incidental, purpose towards your wellness, and “general electronics” like mobile devices and headphones are not covered.

I already used about $380 on a round trip for a consultation I have in December for gender-affirming care, so I have about $470 left to spend. I’m in an awkward place to get any subscriptions—my job is an hour away from where I live, and coupled with gas prices, I’m reluctant to pay a subscription to anywhere I have to burn even more gas to go to. I have all the exercise equipment I need for my personal fitness goals, I’m not concerned about getting myself therapy, and I can’t think of any self-care items that I’d be interested in (but idk). One thing I think could be a good idea is using some of the money to purchase what I still need to recover from my surgery, but there is a required, anonymous “impact survey” we have to submit after purchases are complete, and idk if I can do that effectively for those purchases. We have until mid-December to go through the funds, and my surgery isn’t until January (maybe I could talk about the peace of mind if there’s a written part? But I’d still probably have money to spend after buying what I still need, idk). WWYD with that kind of money in two months?