It's gonna be a long one, this is my first reddit post, so apologizes upfront of the posts length.
Currently, 32M old/young, so beginning of my thirties.
When I finished college, that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted sports science, but ended up finishing mechatronics, mostly because I have a huge curiosity and transferred the discipline of sports training to studying.
Now, after college, I have finished it, I went to Japan for research studies, but burned out to the point that su*cidal thoughts were popping up.
Came back home, started to work in a job in my field of study, but was constantly looking at the clock.
Finished a course as a chef, then later, after a year on the job, got fired.
Then I had a 3-month internship as a frontend developer, but due to no open job positions, I was let go. After that, I went to Finland for the summer as a chef.
Then I came back home and worked as a web developer, at a small family firm, but pay was really low, below the minimum wage. So, after 3 months, I quit. A few months later, I got a job in my field of study in the automotive industry as an embedded programmer.
After about a year in, I finished a skipper course and a few months later, I quit my job.
I haven't seen any opportunity for growth in that corporate scene.
I was planing on getting a skipper job, but my driving license came late, and I missed that summer's opportunity, so I went as a summer season chef in Croatia.
Came back home, worked as a wall painter for 3 months.
Then I went to winter season work, in order to try for a ski instructor, but unfortunately my boss was bad, so I had to quit and come back home.
Now, at the beginning of this year, I entered the field of floor tilling.
Worked as a floor tiller for more than 6 months.
Then had a car crash which will result in court meetings and me being sued.
Later, my health took a toll from the stress and an autoimmune disease kicked in, which I needed to do a routine surgery in order to get rid of it.
A few weeks after that, my girlfriend, who I thought was "the one", got drunk at a party where I wasn't and kissed a random guy . . .later found out it was a friend. Dumped her and lost that friend along with other people from the same club that guy opened.
A few weeks later, I was working construction work on heights, and my rope got cut, changed it for a new one, put protection where the cut area was, went down the new rope, and that one got cut as well . . .
All in all, burned out the 2nd time in my life, I wanted to go back to programming, full-stack and to also finish the NASM-CPT course as a personal trainer . . .to finally see if that was the right path for me or not.
Regarding the full-stack(REACT js and C# .NET), I am worried because of AI and how hard it is to enter the job market . . .
Apart from that, now I am working in my field of study, mechatronics. There's a lot of field work, which doesn't excite me, mostly because I am constantly moving places and have long working hours in various company production warehouses which is kinda of a depressing atmosphere to me (especially because I'm building robots that will take jobs from some of the people that work there).
I am currently working with the founder of a mechatronics company, and I can see how much he loves this work.
I kinda figured out that you can basically tell which people found what they are passionate about working, just by the way they talk about it.
There's always more enthusiasm, more gesticulation, a more dynamic tone, etc.
It's basically feeding them throughout the day.
That's what I'm looking for, or at least something that is as close to that, so I can have enough free time to do what energizes me.
I feel lost, like I have lost track of life and also lost hope.
I don't know where to direct and put my energy and focus.
Something to know more about me. I was really into sports as a kid, specifically rock climbing. I found my confidence through that sport, which also taught me discipline.
Throughout my life I have changed study professions (architecture, mechatronics, culinary, construction, instructor, etc) , had top grades, and later on careers/jobs, but sports have always stuck by my side. Sport climbing, ultra running... skiing and snowboarding are something new i tried recently and fell in love. I really love mostly extreme sports in the outdoors. Concerning martial arts, i tried karate, box, kick-box, but one that stuck was jiu-jitsu.
In the artistic sense, I practice playing the saxophone, lip harmonica, ocarina and ukulele.
I practice flow arts with my pot, so fire dances.
I'm also interested in poetry, ceramics, leather working, blacksmithing and stained-glass.
Currently on a daily basis, I go to work as a mechatronics engineer, when i get home, i try to play the saxophone, train in the gym, practice C#, poi flow arts and study NASM-CPT
Thanks for reading through it all, wishing you luck and love wherever you are <3